The Warriors Held A "Groundbreaking" Ceremony For Their New Arena...In More Ways Than One

And now this is happening. Seems like just putting shovels in the ground would be enough. pic.twitter.com/64TZQuWxsf

— Tim Bontemps (@TimBontemps) January 17, 2017

When you think the Warriors have outdone themselves, they take it to another level. pic.twitter.com/lduJDtpeez

— Courtney Cronin (@CourtneyRCronin) January 17, 2017

It's still happening. pic.twitter.com/uNKvFPh3cN

— Tim Bontemps (@TimBontemps) January 17, 2017

And here's the grand finale to this ridiculousness. I thought it was going to last until the Chase Center is supposed to open in 2019. pic.twitter.com/eOFnSm9VpQ

— Tim Bontemps (@TimBontemps) January 17, 2017

Can anyone explain to me what I just watched? I'm legitimately confused as to whether that "groundbreaking" was supposed to be a photo-op for a new facility or whether it was supposed to be "groundbreaking" in the sense that it attempted to reinvent a boring event in which old, rich white people celebrate the impending fruits of other's labor. I know the Warriors owner thinks his fucking basketball team is revolutionizing the world or some shit, but I'm not sure I would consider handing a bunch of gymnasts crossing guard outfits and parking cones so they can put on a Cirque Du So, So lame performance for a bunch of confused millionaires is what I would call a step in the right direction. I guess it kinda worked since I'm newly aware that the Warriors are in the process of switching arenas, but I'm pretty sure that could have been accomplished with a press release. Not that I'm against making life a little more interesting, but I think Joe Lacob's energy could be better focused into making sure LeBron doesn't turn his organization into the world's most nauseatingly repetitive meme (AGAIN) instead of treating the digging of a little dirt like it's Billy Madison's 3rd grade graduation party. I don't want to tell a wealthy man how to spend his money, but maybe he should cut the shit before he cuts the ribbon, because I can promise him that no one was impressed by an egregious waste of wealth that you'd have to be on 'shrooms to even mildly appreciate. There's a thin line between genius and insanity, and if Steph Curry stops hitting 3's from his parking spot than Joe Lacob is going to end up on the wrong side of it.