The Yankees "Superfan" That Dresses Like A Crossing Guard Got Arrested And Received A Lifetime Ban For Sneaking Down Into The Rich Seats After A Rain Delay
I think everyone with a fully functioning head on their shoulders can admit that getting arrested, detained, and slapped with a lifetime ban is a punishment that it is so egregiously unfitting of the crime of switching seats in a half empty stadium that the sentence might it as well be wearing an obnoxiously neon cap. I'd imagine that inching as close to the playing field as the attendance permits is a practice as old as professional sports themselves, so I'm not going to shame a guy for trying to take advantage of a harmless benefit one might feel entitled to after having waited out the rain.
Unfortunately, I have no choice but to shame him for repeatedly doing so while dressed like this...
Now, I think 24-hour stays in central booking should probably be reserved for the thousands of actual criminals running around New York City at any given time. Still, shameless self promotion comes at a cost, especially in the prestigiously priced 'Legends' section of a building as self important as Yankee Stadium. As annoying as Marlins Man is, at least he pays top dollar to guarantee he gets as much screen time as possible while dressed like a complete dickhead. The same can't be said about his distant cousin in the family tree of self-titled human mascots. The Bronx Boob, as he'll be affectionately known be me and only me, clearly doesn't care as much about his view of the game as he does the camera's view of him. You want to run around a professional stadium like it's your own personal playground then at least have the damn decency to show some inconspicuousness by changing out of your self-made EDM outfit before doing so.
Again, a lifetime ban is an outrageous penalty, but considering those are impossible to uphold in a stadium that seats tens of thousands of people, all this really does is take attention-drawing, luminescent colors out of his game day wardrobe. If not being able to walk around looking like a crossing guard is enough of a reason for a self-proclaimed "superfan" to stay home then I'd argue it's not enough of a punishment for a guy who seems to like the limelight just as much as he does baseball.