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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

This Foul Ball Enthusiast Could Benefit From A Little Wardrobe Awareness

8/11/2016

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It would be an understatement to call this man's choice to go Ken Griffey Jr. in hopes of one-handing a foul ball while carrying a plate of nachos a momentary lapse in judgment. My main problem with it, however, isn't that he went brain dead when he saw that a useless souvenir was headed in his general direction. It's that he was wearing a plain white t-shirt when he did so. Do you remember the last time you wore a white shirt anywhere? I know I don't. Never mind a public place when you were set to be stuffing your face with booze and finger foods. This dude was basically begging to make a spectacle of himself. Walking around with a tall boy and a tray of cheese covered chips? Even if that ball never came that shirt was ending up soiled. That '3 for $8' Hanes V-Neck was so stainable not even the most attentive of paranoia couldn't have prevented it from falling victim to a spill. Now, blindly reaching up for a ball he had no chance of catching while trying to juggle $25 worth of stadium grub certainly exacerbated the process of him looking like a damn fool. Still, him leaving looking like a cranky toddler that just finished eating his first solid meal was a foregone conclusion as soon as he picked his cheapest, cleanest undershirt out of the drawer. The only difference is that now we get to watch the entire process in slo-mo over and over again until a man unintentionally smashing a food in his own face stops being funny. So, see ya never?
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