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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

This Picture Of Joe Thornton And Brent Burns The Last Time The Oilers Made The Playoffs Is...Well...It's Something

4/13/2017

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Picture

From 2006 to 2017....
Picture

Four first overall draft picks over the course of a single decade and Rip Van Winkle still woke up from his slumber before the Oilers were able to sneak back into the Stanley Cup Playoffs. The funny thing is that these pictures (that look like they were taken 30 years apart) illustrating Joe Thornton and Brent Burns complete transformation from young, well groomed studs to 'Duck Dynasty' stunt doubles isn't even the best representation of just how shitty Edmonton has been.

You think those two have undergone some serious changes since 2006? Consider the fact that their franchise's savior was only ten years old and didn't even know what to do with his dick yet at the time. Shit, when Ryan Smyth (yes, that Ryan Smyth) was still the pride of Western Canada it was yet to be decided whether Connor McDavid would eventually become the best hockey player in the world, orrrrrr the kid who tires of dedicating his entire childhood to a sport and ends up a dropout, junkie, and cautionary tale. The Oilers have been such a joke since the first time you watched HDTV that they have two of the best players on their opposition doing that thing your grandparents do when they dust off the photo album and fondly reminisce about the good old days. I guess I should give Edmonton credit for overcoming their management's stupidity by falling ass backwards into a generational talent, but - my god - it took about two dozen Brent Burns position changes for them to do so.
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