Watching A Staffer Chase A Runaway Walkie Talkie Down A Ski Slope Might End Up Being The Highlight Of The Winter Olympics
I'm not going to lie to you. A part of me is genuinely concerned that - before I even knew they had started - the rest of the Winter Olympics have already been overshadowed by this non-participant's "will she, won't she" chase down of a walkie-talkie that, from a comedic standpoint, would have benefited greatly from being fast forwarded at 4X and set to the Benny Hill theme. I'll tune into another event or two out of fear of being labeled un-American, but if they don't get my heart pumping like that real-life dollar-bill-on-a-string routine then you can just expedite the closing ceremonies as far as I'm concerned.
Maybe that's because I find most snow sports - no matter how high speed - to be rather monotonous and predictable after awhile. Maybe it has to do with my undying frustration with the absence of NHL players in South Korea. Maybe it's because I take a disproportional amount of pleasure in watching people fail in a repetitive and embarrassing fashion.
Whatever the case may be, you absolutely cannot deny that you were on the edge of your seat for the entirety of what became an up-and-down, enthralling display of perseverance. The way that largely antiquated piece of technology just ever-so-slowly slipped from her fingertips like the frozen corpse of DiCaprio almost made me forget that the athletic feat placed in front of her was really just untimed human fetch.
Perhaps the editing that went into the production of this viral clip is swaying my opinion, but grease up some two-ways, launch them down icy declines, have the most agile athletes from each country do all that is necessary catch up to them as quickly as possible, and you'll have my viewership each and every time. At the very least, that's more than can be said for that boring ass cross country skiing bullshit.