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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

We Shouldn't Know That Enes Kanter Broke His Forearm Punching A Chair

1/27/2017

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Enes Kanter (wrist) won't return tonight after smacking the Thunder's bench. pic.twitter.com/ohMnimbyyt

β€” The Crossover (@TheCrossover) January 27, 2017

After punching a chair on bench tonight, there's a fear OKC's Enes Kanter fractured his right hand, league sources tell @TheVertical.

β€” Adrian Wojnarowski (@WojVerticalNBA) January 27, 2017

Thunder coach Billy Donovan reports that Kanter sustained a fractured forearm.

β€” Adrian Wojnarowski (@WojVerticalNBA) January 27, 2017

Lie to me Enes, LIE TO ME! I don't care how bad the pain is, because when it is caused by an inanimate object that is designed to provide enough padding for the weight of a whole human ass it has absolutely has to be ignored until further notice. I genuinely believe that the only thing more selfish than a professional athlete somehow breaking his forearm in such an asinine, inexplicable way is a professional athlete not doing everything in his power to convince his teammates, his coaches, and their fans that he actually did it in a mildly appreciable manner. I honestly think I could do a better job justifying this injury if he immediately "had to go to the bathroom" and "tripped" on "a wet spot" while trying to hustle back to the bench in a timely fashion. 

Shit, if he really wanted to keep his reputation in tact then he would have put on his big boy face, went back in the game, and taken a charge that "broke" his already broken forearm. How the hell is Westbrook supposed to respect Kanter when Russell finished an entire NBA game with a goddamn dent in the side of his face but Enes can't summon the will power to fake an existing injury?
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​To say that a person who battles for boards with some of the most physically imposing people on the planet can't possibly be so brittle that his bones can't withstand the impact of a folding chair built for comfort is apparently untrue. To say that a person who battles for boards with some of the most physically imposing people on the planet needs to show some toughness and keep a straight face until the time is right to fabricate a believable fall, however, is a fact that we all should have learned after Amare Stoudemire got one-punch-knocked out of the lineup by a fire extinguisher. 
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