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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Why Would Anyone Doubt That Larry The Alabama Fan Drank 18 Beers By Halftime?

1/12/2016

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This Alabama fan is on his eighteenth beer. pic.twitter.com/myAUHBXIO4

— Deadspin (@Deadspin) January 12, 2016
Could Larry be the type of person that lies about how much alcohol he has consumed? Of course he could. After all, he is from Alabama and therefore his intellectual growth has been stunted. Since trying to impress people with your perceived belligerence is something that is generally reserved for a  college freshman it would make perfect sense that a 30-something year old man from the South would partake in it too. With that said, I have no problem giving him the benefit of the doubt, and I question why anyone else would either. 

What do people think Larry's day consisted of? Do they know the daily itinerary of the average Alabama resident? It's usually some combination of working, hunting, and drinking, and the first two are off limits on game day. He probably didn't even call out of his job, they just assumed that he wasn't showing up. Larry never shows up to work when Alabama is in the National Championship. in fact, I would be fairly surprised if anyone does. I wasn't even there and I think I have a pretty clear vision of how Larry's entire day went. He probably woke up round 6AM because he obviously couldn't sleep with thoughts of Nick Saban dancing around in his head, threw on his favorite pair of Bama sweats, sat on the couch and started drinking. He literally had 12+ hours to prepare for kickoff and the only way he knows how to prepare is to drink excessively. Of course he had 18 beers by halftime. In all honesty, I am surprised he didn't have 18 beers by kickoff. Probably made a mental note to slow himself down so that he was still semi-coherent by the time he got to talk to his buddy Paul. 

Saying that people who drink the better part of a case of beer don't call in to talk to sports radio personalties shows a clear lack of understanding of how things work in the SEC. You know that feeling of excitement that you get when you are going to see your favorite musician perform live? How you usually make a night out of it and make sure you're nice and lubed up by the time they come on stage? That's how Alabama fans treat the Paul Finebaum show. Larry wasn't just drinking because he had nothing else to do, he was drinking because he knew he was talking to Paul later, and to do so sober is basically in a sin in the South. 
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