JHNews- According to a probable cause affidavit obtained by the Jackson Hole News&Guide this afternoon, Ryen Russillo was found naked in a stranger’s condo around 3:30 a.m. Wednesday.
Officers were called to a condo in the 500 block of Snow King Loop for a report of a “highly intoxicated male who was refusing to leave.”
“Officers found the defendant, later identified as Ryen August Russillo, lying on the bed in the south bedroom naked except for his pants around his ankles,” the probable cause affidavit states.
A condo resident told police he heard someone come in and assumed it was a family member but a few moments later Russillo walked in the bedroom with his pants half down.
“He was obviously intoxicated and the only thing he said was that he was getting his stuff,” records state.
Tough break for Ryen Russillo. I suppose he only has himself to blame for getting so incoherently drunk that he "decided" to saunter into someone else's dwelling in his birthday suit. However, if there were state where you might be able to get away with doing some criminal shit while unclothed and intoxicated then it absolutely has to be Wyoming.
Granted, I have never visited before, but something tells me (probably the fact that the apartment he walked into was clearly unlocked) it's one of those flyover states whose residential landscape makes it extremely difficult to truly inconvenience others. I guess I have never put all that much thought into it until now, but any place that sounds like a decent spot to start up a meth business seems like a pretty good place to drunkenly hobble around with your pants around your ankles free of prosecution.
It's sort of like a "tree falls in the forest" situation: If an ESPN radio host blacks out and pulls out his penis while in the Great Plains but no one is around to see it, did it even happen? Obviously someone did see it and therefore it did happen, but that's only because - I would imagine - Ryen Russillo was staying at the only condo complex in a 100 mile radius. The only benefit to vacationing in Wyoming is not having to deal with all that many other people, but - unfortunately for The Worldwide Leader's resident meathead - the drunken brain will always find the nearest bed...regardless of who it belongs to.
What can I say, I love the dedication shown here. Some might think I am just referring to crafting a salami and house vodka sub with extra 'T' in an effort to smuggle cheap, esophagus burning spirits into a place of business. However, I'm also appreciative of the initiative shown by the security team in unearthing Glen's bottle of liver cirrhosis. That's the type of honest competition that keeps the world turning.
As a 20 year old, I would have considered it my own personal hell to run into such committed group of ass patters and bag searchers, but that's just because apparently I didn't want to illegally take free shots out of the bottle badly enough. Some might think that carrying around a 4-pound sandwich was a pretty elaborate, proactive way to binge drink while watching the ponies, but a great defense is beating a good offense every single time.
I hope that having their vodka confiscated doesn't turn these poor, sober bastards off to the sport of sneaking booze into sporting events in the future, because the true greats would treat it as a lesson learned and institute it the next time they go back to the cutting board. After all, if being too young and excessively drunk in public were that easy then everyone would do it.
Danny Ainge (Who Definitely Doesn't Have Stake In The Game) Doesn't Think Isaiah Thomas Will Be Healthy To Start The Season
You just have to tip your cap on this one. Look no further than Danny Ainge's track record of largely ignoring his fanbase's bi-annual, repetitive call to unload assets as proof that he usually doesn't give a damn about what people think about how he runs his franchise. That said, it's nice to know that he's not completely immune to the perception of the public, and that's exactly what this little post-trade tidbit was aimed at altering...
"Sir, the city of Boston is upset with you for unloading a guy who has become a regional folk hero of sorts, and the media thinks that including the pick that you valued more than your first born was too much to give up for a similar player that still leaves us as an underdog against the team he came from. What should we tell them?"
"Eh, just tell them that Isaiah Thomas' hip won't be healthy enough to start the season and he probably won't be in the lineup to dismantle the team he adored playing for in the first game of the season. That'll get them to lay off while their emotional attachment wears off."
Seriously, why else sit there and address a players' health when it is no longer your problem unless you're trying to influence the narrative surrounding the trade that you've been building up to for the NBA equivalent of ages? Slightly exaggerating an injury concern to make his managerial decision look mildly more justified might make Danny Ainge seem petty, but - as a guy that historically doesn't give a shit - this finally makes him somewhat relatable...
A Supreme Court Justice In Ohio (Who Apparently Thinks It's 1960) Accused Cleveland Browns' Players Of "Draft Dodging"
First and foremost, I just want to bid farewell to Bill O'Neill's season. Can't believe it's already over before it actually started. Six months seems like a pretty excessive recovery period for hurt feelings, but 70 year old white men are definitely more likely to become hypochondriacs that let the perception that their privilege is being strained keep them out of the luxury box for longer than necessary. Hopefully the Browns are able to plug someone into his cushy, empty seat at 'The Dawg Pound', and not experience too much of a drop-off in fan support. Again, it sucks that Bill O'Neill is going to have to miss out on yet another disappointing season in Cleveland, but at least he got to go out on top...with a preseason victory.
When you think about, this whole scene really is pretty despicable. The gall of a bunch of properly-compensated, supremely talented babies exercising their freedom to protest the race-driven wedge that continues to divide this country? Don't they know their time could better spent at home kissing their wives and babies goodbye after being summoned to serve their country by a military-supplying mechanism that ended well over two decades before most of them were born? Admittedly, I had no idea that veterans were overseas fighting for America's right to play football, but shame on a bunch of professional athletes for disrespecting all their hard work via group prayer for a more unified tomorrow.
All due thanks and respect to Bill O'Neill for serving this country. However, I can't help but find it incredibly hilarious that the white dudes that hold similar office are - statistically speaking - infinitely more likely to be old and entitled enough to hop, skip, and pay their way out of their call to service than NFL players who were 50 years away from owning their own cell phone.
Like, it seems like a much more natural progression to criticize the U.S. president who actually dodged the draft instead of the football players whose Constitutionally-enabled free expression is - at the very least - an indirect product of his divisive campaign. The Cleveland Browns in question may not have been lining up for their university's ROTC program, but they were very much present for the only draft they were eligible for.
ESPN Moved Announcer Robert Lee Off The Broadcast Of The Virginia-William & Mary Game For A Reason You Can Probably Figure Out
LBS- ESPN confirmed on Tuesday night that they moved an announcer named Robert Lee off the Virginia-William & Mary football game on Sept. 2.
“We collectively made the decision with Robert to switch games as the tragic events in Charlottesville were unfolding, simply because of the coincidence of his name. In that moment it felt right to all parties. It’s a shame that this is even a topic of conversation and we regret that who calls play by play for a football game has become an issue,” ESPN said in a statement shared with Larry Brown Sports.
Trust me, I'm well aware of how ridiculous it seems that a multinational corporation reconfigured their broadcast lineup to avoid one of their employees being thrust into a polarizing, race-based regional debacle because he's the unintentional namesake of a disgraced confederate general that's been dead for damn near 150 years. It's not lost on me how absurd it is that one of these guys is a posthumously affecting the livelihood of the other...
Unfortunately, the only thing that it more absurd than that is the fact that coincidental reminders that white supremacy is apparently still a relevant ideal outside the walls of particular college football stadiums are even possible in the year 2017. I'm not one of those "stick to sports" people, but - for the sake of almost everyone involved - I think I can understand ESPN wanting to create a clear and distinct separation between college football and neo-nazi-related irony.
Of course you'd have to an overly sensitive asshole to find yourself offended by the fact that there are living, breathing Robert Lee's that didn't fight for the right to own black people in every city in America. However, let's consider that no one on the planet would give a shit who calls the Virginia-William & Mary game on ESPN3 otherwise. When you look at it that way, I think even the only truly affected party would agree that it's not in his best interest to be on the ass end of internet jokes (that have a longer shelf life than "this is why Trump got elected!" outrage, mind you) due to a random association with the some guy that probably would have supported putting his great-grandparents in internment camps.
I understand why the Clay Travis' of the world would take this opportunity to run around calling everyone that has even the remnants of a Barack Obama sticker on their bumper a "snowflake" while trying to banish them to their safe space, but this isn't about people being too easily offended. This is about making professional life easier for a young, upstart announcer - whose parents probably didn't major in American history - by having him work in a state that didn't just host city-wide civil disobedience over a statue bearing his name.
The only mistake ESPN made is letting this news get out, and thus adding fuel to the fire on the tiki torches that the alt-right uses to protest that certain aspects of society - including sports entertainment - lean too far left.
Can you believe it? The Cleveland Cavaliers actually traded away an All Star caliber point guard that brings instant offense, has a penchant for thriving in the clutch, plays no defense, and is probably better off as a second scoring option?!? What were they thi...
...Wait, what's that? They got back a poor man's version of the very same player and a draft pick that has been the apple of the entire NBA's eye since the Brooklyn Nets went bankrupt mortgaging their future on two players in the twilight of their career?
Look, as he compares to Isaiah Thomas, Kyrie Irving is obviously a better talent with a brighter future, but - if you're a Cavaliers fan - the prospect of flipping a player that helped win you a title and not having your last season with LeBron James become a lost season has to excite you. Their owner's ineptitude put them in a no-win situation, so coming out with what appears to be something close to a draw has to be considered a relative success. Granted, it's a relative success that makes their biggest in-conference competition better and guarantees that the entire framework of the franchise is getting gutted in less than a year, but at least they've already collected a huge piece for the rebuild before their impending demolition. Preemptively starting over wouldn't have been considered an ideal move when the city of Cleveland celebrated its first championship in over half a century, but Dan Gilbert went full-Dan Gilbert and has done a lot of dumb, irreparable shit since then.
As for Boston, Danny Ainge definitely didn't get the most out of the assets that he has held almost as near and dear as his own immediate family, but he did form a roster that will be favored to be in the NBA Finals sooner rather than later. Giving up the prized Nets' pick that has reportedly been the sticking point on so many hypothetical deals that were far less costly than one that includes Isaiah Thomas and Jae Crowder seems odd, but it probably gives them pretty close to an even chance in next year's conference finals.
All in all, both organizations involved in a trade that had the top teams in the East swapping significant pieces are likely walking away satisfied, and I can't say that a simultaneous climax was how I saw the consummation of the wild and crazy ride that was the NBA offseason playing out.
P.S. Warriors in 4.
Ochsner Is Claiming That Their Orthopedists Didn't "Misdiagnose" Delvin Breaux's Fractured Fibula (Spoiler Alert: They Did)
WWL- The Saints let go of Orthopedists Dr. Deryk Jones and Dr. Misty Suri last week at the same time the club announced that Breaux would have to undergo surgery and would be out 4-6 weeks. It was originally believed that Breaux had a contusion, but he wasn’t able to work out very much.
It was announced that Dr. Suri would remain as the team physician for the New Orleans Pelicans.
Here is the full statement from Ochsner Health System:
“Last week’s media reports regarding the New Orleans Saints’ decision to change team physicians suggested the decision was related to a ‘misdiagnosis’ of an injury sustained by one of the Saints’ players. Ochsner Health System, which employs the two orthopedists who worked for the Saints, routinely reviews any claims of questionable diagnosis, and has taken the time to do so in this case. Our medical experts have stated that it is not uncommon for stress-related fractures to be unnoticeable in initial imaging; follow-up diagnostics are always required when a patient doesn’t show appropriate clinical progress. After a very careful and thorough review, we want the record to be clear, Drs. Jones and Suri did not “misdiagnose” an injury, as was alleged by an anonymous source last week. Ochsner stands behind the clinical knowledge and expertise of our physicians.
So to be clear, 'Ochsner Health System' admits that their orthopedists did indeed determine that Delvin Breaux had a contusion when - in fact - he had a fractured fibula, but they most definitely did not misdiagnose him? Am I reading that right? Hell, am I even speaking the same language that was used to pen what appears to be a laughably incorrect use of semantics that doubles as a piss poor excuse for incompetence?
I mean, I'm certainly no expert in the medical field so perhaps I'm not familiar with the jargon. However, if the term "misdiagnose" doesn't cover mistaking a bruise for a break (no matter how slight it might be) then I think we are letting professional physicians play it faster and looser with their malpractice than they do with their handwriting. I know that Dr. Deryk Jones and Dr. Misty Suri aren't all that great at diagnosing "stress related fractures", but if they stayed on staff after yet another botched examination then the anxiety attack that would have had me cracking skulls would have been easily detectable.
Christ almighty. Sometimes you just have to know when to cut your losses. When a handful of former players, as well as the fanbases of multiple franchises, aren't remotely surprised to hear that a team of doctors looked at a professional athlete's broken leg and told him he had a black-and-blue then their employer should just fucking accept that they earned that 'L' throughout the years.
Trent Richardson Was All Set To Sign In The CFL, But Backed Out When He Realized It Was Potentially A 2 Year Deal
PFT- Trent Richardson will not play in Canada after all.
After initially agreeing to play for the Canadian Football League’s Saskatchewan Roughriders for the rest of this season, Richardson has decided not to go north because the contract with the Roughriders would have given the team a 2018 option as well.
Richardson told AL.com that the team option was a sticking point because his goal is to get back to the NFL. If Richardson had taken the contract with the team option, he could have been contractually obligated to remain in the CFL for the 2018 season and unable to play in the NFL until 2019.
And just when you think his NFL career sucked you dry of all the disappointment you could possibly feel for Trent Richardson, he does this....which is the polar opposite of redeeming himself.
I was really hoping that Trent Richardson's reasoning for backing out of a two year contract in the CFL was that he wasn't that sure a Pensacola-born 'Bama boy could adapt to living in Saskatchewan. I could see him wanting to dip his toe in the soon-to-be frozen waters of Lake Manitoba to see if he'd get cold feet before committing to play multiple seasons in a Canadian city.
What I can't do is justify his refusal to sign a multi-year deal that would pay him to play a sport that he's not particularly good at because he's hoping something better comes along. Trent Richardson is the athletic equivalent of a 49 year old bachelor that's still chasing bombshells that are - quite literally - out of his league after dumping the respectably average-looking broad that's undoubtedly more his speed. I have friends who simply can't function as human beings while single, but none of them are in more desperate of a need to jump into something relatively long-term than Trent Richardson. I know they say you should never settle, but the person that coined that definitely wasn't talking about a first round flameout whose welcome wore quicker than the brakes he constantly had to slam so as to avoid running directly into the backs of his offensive linemen.
Seriously, someone needs to tell the tailback who - at his peak - appeared to be playing through glaucoma that eyesight does not get better with age, because the cataracts that appears to be afflicting his field vision is one of a myriad of things that are going to keep Trent Richardson from getting another look in the NFL...
TMZ- Ezekiel Elliott ain't letting his off the field issues keep him from having a good time -- the embattled running back partied on a Texas lake the day after the Cowboys' 2nd preseason game.
TMZ Sports has pics of Zeke partying Sunday afternoon on Lake Lewisville in North Texas -- a notorious party spot located about 20 miles from Dallas.
Multiple lake sources (yeah, we got those) tell us Zeke was just chillin' on a couple different boats and talking to friends. No one saw him drink any alcohol or get into any kind of negative situation.
A rep for Elliott says Cowboys players had the day off -- so it's not like he was doing anything scandalous.
It's almost like Zeke's sending a message that he refuses to lay low in the days leading up to his appeal hearing -- in which he'll fight the NFL's 6-game suspension from the domestic violence investigation.
The hearing is set for August 29 and we're told Elliott's team is gearing up for a battle.
I want to make it clear that there is nothing illegal about spending your off day catching some waterside rays while helping yourself to some eye candy. I respect Ezekiel Elliott's right to hang out with a bunch of young, white women that are surely positive influences that want nothing but the best for him.
However, I also want to make it clear that you can't possibly be considered an intelligent person if you choose to do so a week prior to an independently-run hearing that - at the very least - is a product of repeatedly making bad decisions that put you in precarious situations. I don't know whether Ezekiel Elliott is truly guilty of violently putting his hands on a woman, but I do know that making himself a part of this 'Boats And Hoes' visual a week prior to his appeal is yet another example of why using the defense that he's too smart to do so is officially off the table.
One weekend. One weekend of chill-free Netflix and the general public could have kept a mildly open mind about the character of a guy who is trying to avoid domestic abuse-related discipline, and he couldn't even do that without ending up on TMZ. Now, that's partially because TMZ's business model is incredibly intrusive and somewhat reliant on making public figures look bad, but I'm pretty sure the guy who couldn't possibly look worse after the last few months should already know that.
I said it before, and I'll say it again...Ezekiel Elliott has earned this suspension from a league that isn't constrained by the "innocent until proven guilty" slogan of the criminal justice system. Even if he didn't commit the felony in question, he literally can't stop, won't stop hurting his image when public perception is quite obviously the thing that his employer values the most. Not giving a fuck about horrific allegations might not be punishable in the court law, but -unfortunately for Zeke - that's not who is determining his Week 1-6 availability.
Your Move, NFL Ownership: About A Dozen Browns' Players Kneeled In Prayer During The National Anthem
Quite honestly, I'm stunned that this is how things are playing out. I thought that collectively (and cowardly) shunning a qualified quarterback due to his interest in a cause as benign as equality would completely and totally suppress the support of that very same sentiment throughout a league that's largely African American. Granted, the reemergence of motherfucking neo-Nazis hasn't exactly done too much to quell the overarching fear felt by people of color, but who could have possibly predicted the continued widening of the racial divide when Donald Trump took office? I simply cannot believe there's more than one single black athlete that is willing to risk his livelihood on behalf of the safety of those that share his skin color, never mind the fact that one of their white peers also feels compelled to recognize his inherent privilege by way of taking a knee!
It's just shocking stuff. You really have to feel for the wealthy NFL owners that desperately want their employees to go out there with little-to-no job security and risk their long-term health free of public, politicized opinions that really shouldn't be considered political in nature. They thought they nipped this in the bud and that everyone would go back to "sticking to sports" after they did their part in making an example out of one guy who is undoubtedly deserving of a roster spot. At the risk of comparing proud, progressive NFL players to 8-legged freaks, a bunch of billionaires basically tried to stomp on a spider while ignoring the sac full of babies on it's back. Suuuper surprising that that resulted in the rapid spreading of the belief that black people are inherently marginalized amongst members of a league whose business model inherently exploits the efforts of predominantly black rosters.
Also, don't think it's lost on me that some of those people who were overly critical of Colin Kaepernick's decision to bring "politics" to the field by taking a knee will use the Browns' bringing the religion of their choice to the field by taking a knee as a way to view that gesture in a more positive light than this gesture....
The irony (and hypocrisy) run deep when asking those who entertain you to cease from having thoughts simply because those thoughts don't mirror your own...
This is quickly becoming one of my "favorite" things that we do in this age of overanalyzing sports. After all - when you really think about it - is there any better way to judge the intentions of a person making a split second decision during a violent game played the biggest, fastest, and strongest players on the planet? As far as I am concerned, drastically slowing down a one second clip to a speed that can be easily understood by the average, non-athletic asshole's brain is a foolproof way to get inside the brain of a professional athlete.
Of course, you could argue that the NFL's focus on cutting down on hits to the head led to a cornerback (who is on his 2nd team in two NFL seasons after going undrafted) cutting out the legs from underneath a far superior player so as to not end up on the ass end of a play that could get him cut from the league, but what fun would that be? It's far more entertaining to act like a circumstantial hit - that admittedly wasn't textbook - was some egregious display of unforgivable violence simply because it potentially compromised the long-term availability of a player that shouldn't have even been made available to play in a game that didn't matter.
Football is a sport that is predicated on superhumans hitting each other as hard as they can, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't look to blame someone each and every time that results in an unfortunate injury! We - as NFL fans - must avenge Odell Beckham's temporary pain....even if it requires us to vehemently cast stones at the character of a fringe NFLer that made a play that wasn't even deemed worthy of a fucking flag.
Sidenote: Skip Bayless was definitely doing what he gets paid handsomely to do (trolling) when he said this...
...but you're lying to yourself (or a Giants fan) if you say the very same thought didn't at least cross your mind. Judging by the following sequence of events, there was a good reason it did...
If you think otherwise then you should be clamoring for the termination of a training staff that was so unconcerned about the status of one of the most important players on the team that they let him lay writhing in pain with a nationally broadcasted camera in his face for a full 30 seconds before coming to his aide. Either you admit that Odell Beckham was being melodramatic (as he is absolutely known to do), or you've accepted that his body has the healing power of 'Deadpool'.
When It Comes To His Decision Not To Attend The White House, Kevin Durant Is Not About Britt McHenry's Bullshit
I don't know if there is anything that can compare to the hardships of an unemployed, disgraced sports reporter choosing to stay informed on sports despite harboring an irrational disdain for one of uber-talented individuals playing it. However, it's tough to argue that an athlete being asked to stand next to a man that is just days removed from justifying the actions of a hate group that nonsensically thinks said athlete is somehow genetically inferior wouldn't face an eerily similar internal conflict.
Let's forget, for just one second, that Donald Trump literally created a new term (alt-left) on a whim so as to rationalize the discriminatory ideals of people that were walking around with NAZI paraphernalia in 2017. Not because it's not crucial to this story, but because thinking that a White House photo-op is the event that will turn the tides of the racial tsunami that is washing over this country in the wake of an election that was won by a person who used prejudice as a campaign promise is just as fucking stupid.
Attractive blondes have got to be pissed that Britt McHenry just substantiated every intelligence-based stereotype they have spent their lives battling in search of a little attention, because I refuse to accept that she's not intentionally stirring the pot so as to stay mildly relevant. No one - regardless of appearance - could be dumb enough to believe that the spectacle that is a championship team's trip to the White House has the potential to turn into an assuring, mutually productive sit down. Britt McHenry is clearly not dealing with a full deck of cards if she thinks this is the best way to get a job. That said, she definitely has a joker in hand if she's playing up a black athlete's ability to unite the country by showing up to shake hands with a president that can't even properly condemn white supremacy.
Simply put, there is no amount of coy hair flips that can get me accept the air-headedness required to suggest that an NBA player can inspire widespread change by holding up a basketball jersey with a fake ass, 'Get Out'-style smile on his face as genuine. Even if the comparison of watching the NBA Finals to playing nice-nice with a bigoted buffoon for the sake of the camera was a tooootally rational way to start her "argument".
Finally, a Saints' cornerback that literally begs to be thrown at out of confidence. Sean Payton's track record shows that way of thinking stands a relatively high chance of back firing quicker than Brandon Browner's disaster of a contract, but it's a welcomed change from his predecessors that figuratively begged to be targeted out of sheer incompetence in coverage. It's far too early to say whether or not Marshon Lattimore is going to live up to his billing, but it's nice to know that he's got enough belief in himself to start writing checks with his mouth before his ass has even cashed one. Let's hope history doesn't repeat itself so a simple 3-step drop doesn't have the entire Who Dat Nation feeling bankrupt of all hope faster than the actual nation when its president speaks publicly.
Admittedly, I'm only cautiously optimistic that the Chargers' backups avoided the side of field manned by an unproven rookie, but somehow I still feel like I'm leaving myself insanely vulnerable to soul crushing disappointment. So here's to Marshon Lattimore not becoming a laughably victimized example of "be careful what you wish for". If not for the sake of a franchise that has been in desperate need of his skill set for a goddamn decade then for the emotional stability of a fanbase whose PTSD starts to kick in whenever their team has to defend 3rd-and-even the most inconceivable length of "long".
Justin Verlander Thinks The Balls Are Being Juiced, And That's Just As Hypocritical As It Is Possible
Ah, baseball. The sport that prides itself on being legislated "the right way" despite it causing indisputable damage to it's entertainment value...yet even the inanimate object it's played with can't be completely cleared of steroid suspicion. According to those much more interested in the potentially devious boost in home runs, it's very possible that the balls are being juiced. I just don't find that obvious correlation to be anywhere near as humorous as the idea of a professional league - that still hasn't distanced itself from it's PED epidemic - actively "drugging" baseballs in an attempt to enhance the performance of something that doesn't have testable blood.
The MLB still hasn't found a way to honor the people who put up historic numbers during an era in which 'HGH' might as well have served as an acronym for "hitters granted help". However, it's not outside the realm of possibility that they are now complicit in inducing a place or thing - that can't be summoned to appear in front of congress - with the artificial strength necessary to inflate numbers. Maybe Justin Verlander's allegation wouldn't hold up any better in court than Sammy Sosa's "no speaka English" defense. Regardless, the mere chance that could is so incredibly symbolic of the hypocrisy of a league that somewhat frivolously picks and chooses which aspects of their tarnished history are worth celebrating. Altering balls might not affect the outcome of games as much as a subsect of biologically enhanced players, but they are certainly acting in the same vein (pun intended) in terms of compromising the validity of the asterisk-laden record books.
Roger Goodell Is Reportedly On The Verge Of Getting A 5 Year Extension, And No One Should Be Surprised
I never thought I would argue that a noted buffoon whose most redeeming quality - from an occupational standpoint - is his ability to completely ignore the obvious truth would be deserving of an extension that will pay him more than 35 million dollars per year. Unfortunately, that's the going rate for an NFL Commissioner, and I can't think of anyone whose experience makes them more aptly suited for the role of tone-deafly protecting the monetary interests of the wealthy white males that own NFL franchises than Roger Goodell.
Seriously, just take one look at his stupid, genuinely disingenuous face while he talks about the head injuries that are routinely taking decades off the life spans of his "manual laborers" as if they are as hypothetical as Jerry Jones' ability to get it up without PEDs. Can you really tell me those hauntingly tiny lips aren't the perfect size to bite the bullet on behalf of billionaires? Listen to Roger Goodell discuss marijuana like it's the downfall of a society that's in the process of legalizing it while completely ignoring the danger of the pharmaceuticals that make the increasingly crappy product he sells possible. I bet you can't come away from it telling me that there is a better spokesperson for patently false "facts".
People need to stop looking to Roger Goodell to "protect the shield", because - despite repeating that very same goal a nauseating amount of times - that's not actually his responsibility. The idiot in question literally is the shield, and that's a perfect thoughtless job for a man whose bargain basement moral compass just recently started pointing to domestic abuse instead of end zone dances. Being the punching bag for an inherently corrupt business model that acts outside the constraints of the criminal justice system is a difficult job. If there's anything that we should have taken away from the rise of Johnny Knoxville it's that ya gotta be tough if you're gonna be dumb, and the 'Jackass' that created a year and half long spectacle over one pump of air in a football couldn't possibly do a better job of meeting those qualifications.
Blair Walsh's Back And Forth With His Former Team Is A Reminder Of How Unforgiving It Is To Be An NFL Kicker
ESPN- Seattle Seahawks kicker Blair Walsh said his gestures toward the Minnesota Vikings' sideline Friday night were the result of his ex-teammates taunting him.
"I felt like it was nothing that was serious or meant to be hurtful, but I wanted to let them know that it just wasn't going to roll off," Walsh said. "I didn't say anything though. Just looked at them."
Walsh made a pair of 52-yard field goals in the second half, and after each one, he gestured toward the Vikings' sideline. Following the second kick, cornerback Richard Sherman raced onto the field to express his approval
Asked what the Vikings were saying to him, Walsh said, "Nothing I can repeat here. That's for sure."
Walsh played five seasons in Minnesota before the team released him in November. He signed with the Seahawks as a free agent this offseason.
"I simply was just responding to getting taunted," Walsh said. "I didn't say anything. When you've got guys who were your teammates for five years yelling at you when you're trying to kick, it's just odd. And I hope they were in jest. And I hope they didn't mean it because I didn't mean anything with mine, but it was definitely not out of nowhere."
And there you have it, proof positive that it's impossible to miss a makable field goal in a huge spot and go down as a forgettable footnote in NFL history. I'm sure the ribbing of their former teammate - that was apparently harsh enough to get the smallest, least intimidating player on the field to pull out his proverbial penis after knocking down a couple 50+ yarders - was in jest given the fact that it occurred during a meaningless preseason game. However, at the root of every good joke lies at least a semblance of truth. The Minnesota Vikings may have forgiven Blair Walsh for botching the chip shot that pathetically prolonged the postseason for his new team, but they damn sure haven't forgotten.
I obviously don't know what was said, but something tells me the explicitness of those chirps can be linked directly to one particular painful memory of the people that voiced them. Simply put, having your trust in your kicker compromised when your championship hopes are at their most vulnerable is the athletic equivalent of being totally dependent on the love of your life....only to walk in on the love of your life getting the ride of hers. Reconciliation is definitely possible, but a slate that is completely clean of resentment is most certainly not.
Those Vikings players probably overstepped a line in busting on the guy that they have a harrowing history with, but that's a pretty common occurrence when you're trying to laugh away your pain at the expense of the person seemed responsible for it. Don't believe me? Try to make light of your flawed relationship with an ex without it sounding it like the sourest of grapes. Actually - better yet - bring up the name Scott Norwood next time you're in Buffalo and check the collective facial expression of those within earshot to see if the agony caused by "wide right" has truly been left behind.
Auburn Coach Gus Malzahn Is Apparently Not Hesitant In Saying That He's Not Ready To Say Anything At All
If you want to make sport of a college football coach for becoming so repetitive in the spouting of empty cliches that are poorly disguised as answers that they could easily be edited together to produce a clip that makes him sound as articulate as a 'Tickle-Me Elmo' then I can't really fault you. It's impossible not to find yourself relatively astounded by the sheer amount of times that Gus Malzahn has gotten caught delivering bland, lukewarm water from the same damn well. It's actually pretty stunning that it took until now for someone with an in-depth expertise of Auburn's media coverage to splice this together, because apparently the mouthpiece of their program has been teething on that very same preemptively ambiguous response for years.
Still, you won't catch me being overly critical. Sure, the production on this video makes Gus Malzahn out to be unintelligible, but that can be said of most men who are asked to commit to something on the spot. Hell, I have a hard time putting a label on a one-on-one relationship with a person I'm sleeping with, so who am I criticize a college football coach for wanting to keep the strings unattached while building a depth chart of over 90 players? If I were as openly noncommittal as Gus Malzahn I would probably save myself a lot of the stress I incur from blindly making plans that I only half-heartedly plan to follow through on. Auburn's coach is a lot of things, but he's not RSVPeeved with himself for checking off boxes that his ass can't cash. "I'm not ready to...." might become laughable when it's said on loop by someone whose occupation requires them to be prepared for anything. However, (if you ignore the fact that Gus Malzahn's job is probably on the line after three straight underwhelming seasons in the SEC) then his ability to be forthright in his indecisiveness is something we should all strive for.
ESPN- Golden State Warriors forward Kevin Durant isn't surprised by the developments of Kyrie Irving wanting out of Cleveland, and out of the shadows of LeBron James.
Trade requests occur routinely behind the scenes without anyone knowing, Durant said.
"It's just a regular NBA problem, right? A lot of teams have gone through this before," Durant told ESPN. "They'll figure it out. That's a great organization, a championship organization. They'll figure it out."
“It’s not the end of the world. Both of those guys won a championship together. They love each other. If Kyrie wants to do something else, that’s on him. I’m sure whatever happens, it’ll work out for the best for both of them. But it’s just a normal NBA problem. It’s just two big stars that it’s happening to.”
Yup, totally regular. Par for the course, really. I don't know why people are clamoring that the NBA offseason has become more entertaining than the NBA postseason, because this soap opera is hardly worth watching if you ask me.
Christ, why is everyone acting like they have never seen an Owner tell his General Manager to take a hike while he's in the midst of trying to add another superstar to a team that's coming off three consecutive Finals appearances? You people should really get out more if you think it's abnormal for a 25 year old star to demand a trade away from a player that makes his team a lock to win the conference every year. The best player in basketball has one foot in free agency before he's even played one single game of the final year of his contract in his hometown, and that's supposed to be considered shocking or something? The consensus second best team in professional basketball has spent the entire summer imploding from within at almost every level, and I am supposed to pretend that's not just another day in an NBA offseason?
Shit, the only thing more precedented than what's been going on in Cleveland is a former league MVP joining a 73 win juggernaut that was a dick punch away from winning back-to-back titles just months after they made history by defeating him in come-from-behind fashion. If there is anyone that knows what a "regular" offseason looks like then it's Kevin Durant, and - compared to his Summer of '16 - the Cavaliers fall from grace that's almost guaranteed to result in their inevitable demise is just that.
Travis Zajac Is Out 4-6 Months With A Torn Pec, Annnd The Devils Are Officially Out Of The Playoff Race
I'm not saying that Travis Zajac needs someone to babysit him during his offseason workouts, but - from here on it - it might be wise of the Devils to invest in an overly cautious spotter...
Annnnyway, it's pretty depressing to have your eyes painfully held open to just how blind your optimism might have been before training camp even starts. A potential playoff berth was already a pipe dream, but that pipe just burst with the news that the New Jersey Devils will be without their most well-rounded, defensively responsible forward for half the season.
For all the criticism that he gets from fans that don't understand anything that takes place outside of a box score, Travis Zajac's presence is more important to the Devils' success than any one thing he does on the ice. Whether it be winning face-offs, killing penalties, or letting his linemates play it a little faster and looser in their own end, the guy just makes the jobs of those around him that much easier. It's that type of two way, versatile play that allowed him to anchor a surprisingly dominant line (Hall-Zajac-Palmieri) - albeit on a terrible offensive team - while only putting up 45 points. It was undeniably evident how important he was to the lineup when his injury coincided with the Devils crash back to earth two seasons ago, and it will be just as obvious when his extensive absence has the locker room looking younger than that one shitty college bar that doesn't check ID's.
If you really wanted to look on the bright side then this terrible, awful, no good, very bad news doesn't really do all that much to derail the Devils' unrealistic hopes of being relevant. The influx of youth - however promising it may be - was already going to have them fighting an uphill battle. Expecting rookies to carry the workload of a #1 center (even if he's probably better off as a #2 center) isn't going to make that hill any less steep. That said, this all but guarantees that New Jersey will get to see what they have in Michael McLeod (and potentially Blake Speers) sooner rather than later, and featuring Nico Hischier in a role he might not be ready for will show exactly how far away he is from being the player they thought they selected first overall. If nothing else, Pavel Zacha will get every opportunity to flourish in what should be a season that's very telling of his development.
In a way that won't come anywhere close to translating to more wins, this could make the Devils somewhat more exciting. Assuming, of course, that an injury on offense can't be all that disastrous to a team that is still without a blueline, Travis Zajac's newly vacant spot in the lineup is going to give a bunch of unproven guys the chance to sink or swim. Losing a versatile player who is better at defense than the actual defense for an extended period of time is never good, but at least the roster hopefuls know that they'll have to work their way out of floaties by the end of training camp.
Welp, you heard the man. He'd love to answer to his "unpatriotic" display of apathy that took place on the same day in which an American city was fighting over whether or not people that look like Marshawn deserve to be Lynch'd. Unfortunately, it appears that a failure to properly exterminate the room had that motherfuckin' mastodon checking out of it before it even made it's inevitably polarizing presence felt.
Man, what are the odds?! Finally got that damn elephant to make an appearance for the first time since Saturday, and all the sudden a mouse comes along and scares it away before Marshawn Lynch even has a chance to address it in a totalllly original way that deffffinitely would have opened the minds of those that have been so incredibly accepting of multi-cultural ways of thinking in the past.
In all honesty, I love the visual of a Raiders' PR director running up and telling Marshawn Lynch that he should have a response prepared for when the media undoubtedly asks him about sitting during the 'National Anthem', and Marshawn Lynch being like "eh, I think I'm just going to deflect blame onto an invisible rodent". May not be the most professional or powerful of messages, but it brought a pretty swift end to the "distraction" that has cost Colin Kaepernick a job. There definitely aren't too many players other than 'Beast Mode' that can get away with that answer, which really just goes to show that you're probably better off making it known that you don't give a fuck if you're going to do something that pisses a bunch of people off.