The Los Angeles Chargers Failed To Fill Their Temporary Mini-Stadium For Their First Preseason Game8/14/2017 
What's funny about this is the fact that the people that most reserve the right to find themselves offended by this string of tweets are soccer fans. Seriously, the most popular sport internationally...and it's being used to analogously make light of the laughable lack of interest in a city's second newly transferred American football team in as many years? Galaxy fans should be way more upset with this unnecessary comparison than whatever fans the Chargers still have left. Why did the remarkably loud and proud footy fans have to get dragged into this? What did they do deserve being made collateral damage in the argument against rushed, repetitive relocation? If they moved to a place where they felt they would be more appreciated then they have hundreds of thousands of people lining up for season tickets in South America, so can we let teams that are helplessly trying to grow an unpopular sport in the United States do so free of insults by association? In all seriousness, I'm not sure this should be considered all that surprising. Los Angeles' sports fans have done such a good job front-running their way through the history books that they have put Usain Bolt's track record to shame. Showing up to a meaningless exhibition game for a team coming off a terrible season that they absolutely no connection with whatsoever seems as predictable as Mrs. Rivers peeing on a stick two weeks after her and Philip's anniversary. In the last two decades she's spent less time not bearing child than the wishy washy fans of LaLa Land have spent rooting for a team with a losing record. So no, I wasn't exactly expecting them to sell out the 'StubHub Center' for a franchise whose most loyal supporters are currently napping the pain away on their surfboards while trying to ignore the existence of the organization that decided the grass was greener on the more populated side. Even if that grass was barely surrounded by enough seats for a team that plays a sport that's widely less prominent locally.
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USAToday- Raiders coach Jack Del Rio said he was unaware Lynch would sit for the anthem, but added that the two spoke afterward and described the running back's action as a "non-issue" to him.
"He said, 'This is something I've done for 11 years — it's not a form of anything other than me being myself,' " Del Rio said in a postgame news conference. "I said, 'So you understand how I feel, I very strongly believe in standing for the national anthem, but I'm gonna respect you as a man. You do your thing, OK, and we'll do ours.' " The moment came on a day in which a car hit peaceful protesters, killing a woman and injuring at least 19 people, after white supremacists and counter-protesters clashed at a rally in Charlottesville. ----- Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. Can you believe that an oft-controversial, African American athlete chose to casually sit and have a snack without even removing his cap for the saluting of the country in which he's lucky enough to earn his market value of millions of dollars to display his talents? Just plopped right down on his keister for some sustenance like he was feeling light headed and needed a potassium boost after a long walk in the park when he was supposed to be doing his civic duty by standing upright? Ugh, completely and utterly disgraceful if you ask me. I'm sorry. I support the freedom of free protest and all that happy horse shit, but if someone is going to be that apathetic towards an unlawful squabble that revolves around a flag then it should be the President of the United States of America! Honestly, sit (or stand, doesn't really matter to me) there and tell me that Marshawn Lynch is un-American for choosing to rest his legs during a song while the country that it represents was currently serving as the unwilling host to a racial supremacy riot. Please, concoct a narrative in which a peaceful (if not entirely uninterested) protest for something that is inherently positive should be viewed more negatively than people angrily taking to the streets with fucking shields of armor and lit Tiki torches ready to commit vehicular homicide on behalf of their undeserved privilege. I'd be genuinely curious to see if someone could logically argue that the American flag truly symbolizes "freedom" when the removal of a Confederate flag that - like it or not - serves as a symbol of an oppressive history is still capable of being the catalyst for a citywide, neo-nazi-led 'Civil War'. Admittedly, I have some pretty strong doubts that a star running back with a polarizing personality has been sitting out the 'National Anthem' for 11 years. I know we are a hell of a lot more hyper sensitive to how people choose to recognize the 'Star Spangled Banner' than we were when Marshawn Lynch was last on an NFL sideline, but there's no way he lasted over a decade on his asscheeks without drawing public ire. He's being disingenuous - if not completely full of shit - in acting like he didn't know what he was doing in the moment. However, since what he was doing is a wee bit more harmless than a public promotion of a "master race" that turned deadly, I think I am at liberty to say that what he was doing wasn't all that bad regardless. Marshawn Lynch may not have made the most agreeable of spokesperson since he didn't even own up to a cause and his posture served as the biggest of middle fingers to every hypocrite that thought his unspoken cause was the most obscene thing that happened on American soil this weekend. Not that the type of stubborn jackass that would be overly critical anyway needs my blessing, but I suppose you could chastise him for delivering his message a little more indirectly, yet explicitly than we have come to expect. That said, if you're under the assumption that he and Michael Bennett acted under the same pretense then you're going to have a pretty rough time blindly (and deafly) disagreeing with this sentiment without sounding like a racist asshole that's incapable of comprehending English words and undeniable truths... Michael Bennett: "With everything that's been going on the last couple of months, and especially after the last couple of days seeing what's going on in Virginia, and earlier today in Seattle, I just wanted to be able to use my platform to be able to continuously speak on injustice." "First of all, I want people to understand that I love the military. My father's in the military. I love hot dogs like any other American. I love football like any other American. But I don't love segregation. I don't love riots or oppression." "I just want to see people have the equality that they deserve. And I want to be able to use this platform to continuously push the message of that." "I'm being vulnerable right now. There's a whole bunch of people sitting at home judging me, but they will never get to this point where they can be vulnerable. Let people attack me because they don't believe what I believe in, but at the end of the day, I'm being vulnerable to show every person that no matter [what] you believe in, keep fighting for it. Keep fighting for equality. Keep fighting for oppressed people. And keep trying to change society."
I guess my question isn't so much "why?" as much as it is "why now?". Look no further than the handling of Jimmy Graham and Brandin Cooks for proof that the Saints - specifically under Sean Payton - have been quick to pull the trigger in moving talented players that they deem expendable. I can see why they'd think a 27 year old cornerback with an extensive history of serious injuries whose value likely isn't going to get any higher than it did following his breakout season would fit that bill. Unfortunately, the Saints' shouldn't feel anywhere near as inclined to pass the buck on anyone that is making an affordable buck to adequately defend the pass. I understand the franchise's frustration with Delvin Breaux having mostly seen the field from the sidelines for the last year and change, but the cusp of a make-or-break for the organization might not be the best time to move one of the most proven (although that's not exactly saying much) commodities in the secondary. Without even factoring the lack of leverage that you have when moving a player - out of the clear blue - this close to the season, the fact that said player plays a position that his current team tried desperately to address mere months ago makes this hypothetical trade one that is unlikely to work out in New Orleans' favor. Considering Delvin Breaux is a guy who damn near lost his life on a football field, there's probably a pretty significant chance that he's hesitant (and rightfully so) to play at anything notably less than 100%. That's undoubtedly not going to sit well with those held responsible for fielding a competitive team in a sport that undeniably requires you to overcome some bumps and bruises. In theory, anyone that they could get in exchange would be an upgrade over Delvin Breaux if Delvin Breaux isn't going to be active on most Sundays, but - in theory - the Saints' cornerbacks are much deeper than they actually are without him even potentially being in the lineup. At the time, I didn't take umbrage with the Saints' decision to keep their picks instead of trading for an established veteran in Malcolm Butler. However, if potentially erasing someone who was penciled in as a starting cornerback is something that has been weighing on their mind for awhile now then they have made themselves insanely vulnerable to looking very stupid. If this news is more of a foreshadowing than a mere possibility then they are depending on Marshon Lattimore (who is busy dealing with his own health issues) to set the curve instead of taking the time a rookie generally needs to learn it. They would be expecting P.J. Williams to kick the injury bug that has cost him the vast majority of his early career. The performance of what has been a woefully anemic defense could fall heavily on the shoulders of two undrafted free agents - in Ken Crawley and De'Vante Harris - who have yet to prove that impressive offseasons can translate during the regular season. Simply put, if Delvin Breaux is in another jersey come September and he doesn't fetch someone that can play press, man-to-man defense in return then there's a whole hell of a lot more than could go painfully wrong on one particular side of the ball. For a defense that has been operating under Murphy's Law for the last handful of seasons, that's not exactly something that breeds optimism. Houston Astros' Players Are STILL Upset That The Organization Didn't Make A Big Move At The Deadline8/11/2017  YardBarker- Reddick told SiriusXM’s MLB Network Radio on Thursday that Houston players had expected the team to be aggressive at the deadline, but they were left deflated after the team’s only move was to bring in Francisco Liriano in what was viewed as a minor deal.
“I think deep down everybody in that clubhouse knew we were going to make some moves to make us a really great team to a team that put us over the edge, especially with all the moves you see moving around the league,” Reddick said, via Craig Calcaterra of HardballTalk. “It’s nothing against our guys, we are a great team, but any time you can make your team better you feel like should have the opportunity to do that and take full advantage. I think deep down, we all were, I don’t know if you want to say disappointed or upset, I guess we were just kind of down in the dumps because we feel like we had a pretty good shot at getting somebody to help this team get over that hump to where we needed to be.” Ace pitcher Dallas Keuchel had made similar comments on Aug. 1, saying “disappointment is a little bit of an understatement” regarding the lack of a big move. ------- Good news: The incessant whining that has come along with the Houston Astros 2-7 record since the trade deadline has provided their front office a shockingly quick confirmation that they did the right thing in not making any bold moves to improve a (then) 69-win team that apparently lacked confidence internally. Bad news: The Houston Astros are a first place team that has a delicate psyche and is openly displaying easily identifiable characteristics of having a low self-esteem. Seriously, imagine having the second best record in the entire league and a double digit lead on the next best team in your division, and still not believing that you're talented enough to make a run without external help? These guys are supposed to be proud professional athletes, and - if their recent results are any indication - they are let the disappointment of a quiet deadline put a dent in all that they accomplished prior to it. I get that adding pieces as the postseason creeps closer is a way of showing faith in a team that easily outperformed expectations, but can't the same be said about letting it ride with a roster that - at the time - had a win percentage of over .650? I'm not familiar enough with the Houston Astros clubhouse to know what aspects of their team could have been improved by making a short sighted deal to bolster their championship aspirations. However, the fact that their own team's championship aspirations seemed to disappear solely because one wasn't made is a pretty strong indictment of just how unrealistic they were to begin with. You need a lot more than mental fortitude to win a World Series, but that's definitely also a requirement. The continued bitching and moaning from the mouthes of Astros' players seems like a pretty strong sign that that requirement is not currently being met in Houston, and it truly makes me think that were never long for October...no matter who they picked up in July. 
One. Just one. One meaningless victory out of four meaningless contests is all I ask. I don't care that it didn't come against the lowly Cleveland Browns, but - at this point - the New Orleans Saints just need to win a single preseason game to prove that they are still capable of doing so. The results may still be a month away from mattering, but the psyche of a fanbase that has seen it's team lose every single game played in August over the last two offseasons most certainly is not. I don't know if the deja-vu of being 0-4 in glorified practice sessions whose true winner is determined by which team comes away healthier is something that will haunt this team, but I'll be damned if it won't weigh on those with a vested interest in them. At the end of the day, I truly don't give a shit that the Saints lost to a bad team on a deep pass to a white wide receiver that cleanly beat a porous defensive effort for a late, game winning touchdown. The list of things that matter exponentially more than a victory that would be nothing but moral is as follows... - Their rookie class (or the portion of it that was actually able to play) - led by Alvin Kamara - collectively put forth an admirable effort. - Their first string defense held a first string offense - albeit one with a second rate quarterback - to virtually nothing. - Their receiving core continued to prove that it's shockingly deep (shoutout to Tommy Lee Lewis) without Brandin Cooks. - The oft-questioned pass rush looked above average, and also highlighted the impressive resurgence of a guy whose recurrent ACL issues have lowered expectations in Hau'oli Kikaha. All those things are far more important than the outcome of a game that Drew Brees, Cameron Jordan, Mark Ingram, and Adrian Peterson casually watched - in it's entirety - from the sidelines. Still, for the love of all that is holy, I'm going to need this potentially false optimism to result in something better than a winless preseason. If only to show me that this year is at least mildly different before recent history has me thinking that some practice games are a precursor to yet another depressing 7-9 season. P.S. I would NOT want to be the one held responsible for making cuts at the wide receiver position...
Look, I don't know if Ezekiel Elliott is actually guilty of domestic abuse. If you ask local law enforcement then he was wrongfully accused, but you ask the always trustworthy Commissioner's office of the league that acts as it's own judge, jury, and executioner then he literally rules his relationships with an iron fist that would make Ray Rice cower in fear. Whatever the case may be, Ezekiel Elliott has earned a lengthy, unpaid vacation from professional football. I have my doubts that the NFL somehow has conclusive evidence that even those that are sworn to serve and protect weren't privy to. However, the person who is seemingly always under investigation has repeatedly given them the only thing they have ever needed to exact punishments...skepticism. By the law of the land of the free, a six game suspension for a crime that never got a conviction most definitely can't be considered justice, but the NFL has long made it clear that they only go to the Constitution when they run out of toilet paper. Therefore, Ezekiel Elliott has no one to blame but the high profile running back that couldn't go more than a few weeks at a time without making himself the subject of another new controversy. When your career has come under scrutiny from the person whose gavel has been known to get slammed on a whim, then maybe it's best not to startpulling out titties without asking and knocking out DJ's because they skipped your favorite song. The way I see it, Ezekiel Elliott was basically taunting Roger Goodell by refusing to stay out of trouble, and you simply don't test a superiority complex that strong without being given a six game slap on the wrist for something that - if true - should land you behind bars. I don't know whether this particular professional athlete put his hands on a woman, but I do know that he did his best to check off every frowned upon box on the NFL's 'Personal Conduct Policy' before getting sent to a month and a half long timeout for it. I suppose Jerry Jones has every right to vehemently disagree...with the power structure that was put in place for his benefit...
 TheComeback- A freak accident during a team-building activity during a high school football practice took a tragic turn on Thursday morning in New York, claiming the life of a high school junior. A log fell on the head of Joshua Mileto, 16, and he was pronounced dead at a nearby hospital after being rushed for treatment.
The log was being used as part of an exercise commonly used by U.S. Navy SEALs. The log was being carried by Mileto and a handful of teammates when at some point the log fell and struck the WR/CB in the head. No other injuries were reported. Questions have already been raised about whether or not a high school football team should be performing drills designed for Navy SEALs. In recent years, however, the idea of going through a Navy SEALs workout with a football team has been advertised, and perhaps glorified, by a variety of college football programs. Of course, college football players collectively are in much better shape to handle those types of workouts than high schoolers. Representatives and coaches from Sachem East High School have not commented on the situation while an investigation is underway by local authorities. ----- I know this goes against the very nature of modern society, but can we just consider this an incredibly unfortunate, stand alone incident that is the fault of no one person? I know this sounds extremely dismissive since an innocent teenager's life was lost but sometimes shit just happens. Perhaps it's naive for my immediate assume to be that a high school football coach wasn't pushing his players past the brink of exhaustion in hopes of preparing them for the upcoming season, but I also don't think anyone should be too quick to judge his outside of the box team building techniques. For instance, an investigation by local authorities seems a bit excessive unless there's at least one eyewitness account that the players were being put at risk by being reprimanded to continue a drill they were physically unfit for. Maybe it's just me (or my memory of pushing tractor trailer tires around a hockey rink with a stick as a middle schooler), but I don't consider asking a group of athletes to collectively lift a log over their heads as an irresponsible risk to their health. As far as I am concerned, Joshua Mileto would have been far more likely to meet a similar fate by bashing his skull against those of his peers in hope of stopping them short of the chains than by holding a tree trunk over his head with his friends. Now, if a bunch of 16 year olds were carrying a log that was the same size and weight as those used by the grown men that are preparing to fight for this country's freedom then we definitely have an issue. I'm just not ready to prematurely blame a coach whose conscience is probably feeling pretty damn guilty regardless, even if 2017's idea of multitasking is pointing fingers while jumping to conclusions. My deepest sympathies go out to Joshua Mileto's family, but unless you're a part of it then you shouldn't immediately chastise some of the unorthodox things that you agree to when you choose to partake in competitive team sports.  LBS- In a recent appearance on “The BBall Breakdown Podcast,” ESPN’s Dave McMenamin was asked about the Phoenix Suns’ interest in trading for Irving. “I’m not sure,” said McMenamin, per Ryne Nelson of SLAM Online. “Phoenix, of course, hired James Jones this offseason. He’s been inside that locker room. He saw Kyrie in the playoffs this year — in between the first round when they beat Indiana and the second round when they played Toronto — go consecutive days without speaking to a teammate at practice. On that stage. “It’s one thing for people to go through your ups and downs during the regular season,” McMenamin continued. “But when you get to the playoffs, the main thing is the main thing, and we’re brothers, and we’re pulling together to get this thing done. Even at that level, there were things that made him sullen or reclusive from his teammates.” ------ Maybe I am more skeptical than most, but I have a hard time believing that Kyrie Irving gave his entire locker room the silent treatment - for days at a time - in between rounds of running train on the Eastern Conference. As a former player that made a living as LeBron's right hand man, James Jones would know better than I, but something tells me that this story has gotten slightly exaggerated in translation. That's not to say that there wasn't tension between strong-willed teammates, but if you want me to accept something as ridiculous as the starting point guard of playoff team going full mute then it better come from a source that doesn't have a vested interest in making Kyrie Irving look bad/less valuable. I'll tell you what though, if this tale isn't as tall as it appears, then this might be the first bit of good news that Cleveland Cavaliers fans have gotten this summer. As an introvert that thinks verbal communication is wildly overrated, it's good to have the NBA Finals runner-up to point to as proof positive of that. I know this story is being used as an aggressively passive way to widen the divide between Kyrie Irving and LeBron James, but my main takeaway from it is that they don't even have to remotely like each other to be successful. Consider this, the following GIF couldn't possibly do a better job of illustrating the phrase "IDGAF" and it took place about three months before the players involved in it led their team to the biggest comeback in Finals history over the winningest team in NBA history...  If I am a member of the Cleveland Cavaliers' braindead front office, why would I worry about an unspoken beef that is fitting of a group of teenage girls who are all interested in the same boy when the people involved in that beef immediately proceeded to casually go 8-1 en route to the championship round? If Kyrie Irving was so unhappy after waxing the Indiana Pacers that he was too pissed off to talk then it looks like Kyrie Irving plays his best basketball when he's acting like a petty, petulant child . Again, I think this is being wildly overblown to make Cleveland's tumultuous situation look like even more of a shit show than it actually is, but if - on the off chance - it's true? It should only give the Cavaliers more incentive to hold on to their biggest asset instead of shipping him off for less than he's worth. I suppose it's preferable if people that are working together to accomplish a common goal address each other's presence vocally, but - considering it took the formation of the most dominant team in basketball history to spoil their chances of repeating - apparently it's not really all that necessary. 
— Benjamin Hochman (@hochman) August 10, 2017 
My advice to the St. Louis Cardinals? Just let it go. Take down the online press release and instantly end this search. It's not that I don't have my own quirky superstitions, but I do have a pretty good feeling that the presence of a ravenous kitten doesn't truly effect the outcome of baseball games. Simply put? Angels are much more helpful in the outfield, and some blood-thirsty feline that thinks it runs the joint doesn't have the widespread appeal of a dolphin that does halftime shows. I know that with one monstrous swing Yadier Molina carved out a spot for that bratty little cat in some weird annex of franchise history. However, the franchise in question needs to trust that it's in a better place living with 12-25 of his/her peers in the two bedroom apartment of an aging single/widowed woman that shamelessly collects kitties from places as strange as a Major League ballpark and immediately claims them as her own. I don't - for one goddamn second - believe that a broad batshit enough to scoop up a stray that just repeatedly gnawed on the hand of a human in front of thousands of people would lose track of said stray shortly thereafter. You don't partake in some asinine act of thievery and then simply lose what you risked it all to take. I know the little bastard had a sweet tooth for strangers, but not even the jaws of life can separate a crazy cat lady from that which she holds most dear. Therefore, I am just going to have to assume that she lied about misplacing it so that the organization would call off the proverbial dogs. No doubt in mind that thing is crapping up a storm in a living room-sized litter box with every other missing cat in a 10-15 mile radius. It would take Ace Ventura about 35 seconds to crack this case, but I hope he doesn't offer his services to help bring back what can only be described as an adorably disguised demon. 
A lot of people are going to get caught staring slack jawed at the backwards juggling act that served as the grand finale to this ice capades-esque training clip. Considering the fact that even a good portion of NHLers would wake up in the net after having concussed themselves in an attempt to pull off something similar, there's very good reason for that sequence to be the subject of shock and awe. That said, I would be lying if I said that high maintenance party trick was what I found most impressive about a video that I could have sworn was stuck in fast forward. That pissed off feeling that you get when you misjudge and zoom a little too far past the commercials? That's the same anxiety I felt while trying to understand about 75% of what Mitch Marner did - with ease - throughout those highlights. Honestly, if there was someone narrating every single move made then it probably would have sounded like I had accidentally turned a podcast up to 2.5x the normal speed. I would likely be lucky to catch every 4th word, because I only completely comprehended every 4th move after first watch. I must have said "wait, what?" at least three times in a 39 second video and it would have been more if I didn't find myself stunned silent by him heel-toeing around the entirety of the neutral zone in what appeared to be overdrive. Obviously a kid who would be lucky to weigh 170 pounds after feeding him cake and throwing him in the pool fully clothed at Mitch-A-Palooza needed some quickness and creativity to put up 60+ points as a rookie. Still, seeing the extent of it up close without a defender in sight really puts things in perspective. Zach Randolph Was Arrested For Possession Of Marijuana, And Unjustly Charged With The Intent To Sell8/10/2017   TMZ- NBA star Zach Randolph was arrested in L.A. on Wednesday night -- igniting a crazy disturbance that required cops to call in the cavalry for backup, TMZ Sports has learned.
LAPD officers were called to the Nickerson Gardens area in L.A. around 10 PM -- and when they arrived, cops found a large crowd of people smoking, playing loud music and blocking the roadway. Law enforcement sources tell us 3 people were seen grabbing their waistbands and running -- so cops went after them. Three people were detained -- including Randolph, who was eventually arrested for possession of marijuana with intent to sell, A FELONY. We're told the "intent to sell" part was due to the large amount of weed found. -------- Wait, you can get arrested for having weed on you in Los Angeles? I guess I knew that legalization didn't mean you could skip around a major city with blunts tucked behind both ears, but I also thought it was one of those "slap on the wrist" offenses. Like, try not to jay walk and also don't flaunt your recreational drug usage during a rowdy, unlicensed block party that's looks like it features multiple smoke machines and takes place on an active roadway. I suppose the whole "crazy disturbance" factor didn't help their case, but I still feel like going outside outside and getting high with your friends in California should at least require a initial warning before the cuffs come out. More importantly, who the hell are these officers to make the outrageous assumption that Zach Randolph - of all people - intended to sell? I sure as hell hope they found a bunch of crinkled up $20's in one pocket and carefully portioned zip lock bags in the other. We are talking about a longtime professional athlete whose famously known for having an iron lung. The fact that he had an excessive amount of marijuana on his person at a large get together doesn't automatically make him a terrible drug dealer. In fact, it's far more likely that it makes him a great fucking friend. Z-Bo should have turned right around and placed that ignorant cop under citizen's arrest for stoner shaming. I suppose you can give an NBA player a misdemeanor for blowing trees by the street lights, but there better be a bit more evidence before you go handing out felonies after weighing a man's intent to distribute (to anyone other than his closest homies) solely by the o-z. As far as I am concerned, the most criminal activity that took place was underestimation at the hands of law enforcement, because I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable questioning the former 'Jail Blazer' if he said "hey, I was going to finish that". The Employee Tasked With Chasing Down The St. Louis Cardinals "Rally Cat" Needs A New Summer Gig8/10/2017 
First things first, credit to this poor sap. If I were him I would have been more liable to light my credentials on fire before calmly turning around and walking straight out of the stadium in a blaze of glory than to sprint through the outfield in front of ten of thousands of people in pursuit of an animal that was basically guaranteed to make me look like an asshole once I caught up to it. That probably speaks more to my distrust in house cats than it does to this guy's level of work ethic, but he still deserves a pat on the back and a "good job, good effort" for undertaking a task that should be reserved for single women in their late 30's. I genuinely think I would have fed that little piece of shit to the bleacher creatures by way of drop punt after the second chomp, so I tip my cap to this dude for being wary of PETA's all-seeing eye. I suppose you could say the announcer "predicted" the bite(s), but that doesn't exactly make him Nostradamus. The fact that that inherently pissy kitten reacted poorly to getting picked up would have been the easiest bet of all time. I don't know what this kid gets paid as a member of the field crew, but it damn sure ain't enough to play caretaker to the most bi-polar, contentious pet on the planet. Honestly, "cat catcher" better be included in his contract and that contract better be written in the same blood that he just had drawn, or he chose the wrong side of this risk/reward. There's not enough incentives in the world to justify putting yourself in the position to let a maniacal, self important feline that can't fend for itself make you the butt of the joke on live television. I guess someone had to do it, but I would have been more inclined to turn that kitty into litter than I would be to sacrifice blood, sweat, or tears for it. Maybe the "rally cat" worked it's black magic because Yadier Molina almost immediately hit a go-ahead grand slam, but no man's pride is only worth 1 win out of 162 - no matter how close the divisional race is...
Man, when is Tyron Smith going to catch a break? Just when you thought he had finally rendered his bulging dick impotent after trying to suppress it all last season and then - boom - he's laying erect on his back with a case of crippling stiffness. Who would have thought the all-too-evasive key to keeping a 6'5, 320 pound left tackle on the field to perform to the best of his abilities in the trenches would be to soften him up a bit? Will someone get this guy in a cold shower before throbbing head trauma costs him his career?!? All in seriousness, I am glad a female sportscaster finally screwed this proverbial pronunciation pooch. I'm going to assume that Jane Slater's subconscious wasn't littered with biologically built pants' tents and that her slip was anything but freudian. Therefore, I'm pretty sure that retroactively gives a pass to every male that's assumed to be a deviant with sex on the brain every time they accidentally stumble into some untimely innuendo mid-broadcast. See ladies, the world is yours! You can do anything men can do, even make embarrassing, R-rated mistakes on air! Hell, considering the unequivocal enunciation on the word "dick" and the extremely erotic verb preceding it, dare I say that the Jane Slater's of the world sound even more confident when getting all chubbed up by the tricky linguistics of a reoccurring back problem? If she didn't immediately correct herself than I would be liable to think that Tyron Smith basically boned himself out of the lineup last season, and there's something to be said about speaking with that level of conviction.
Well, if you're going to take a big, fat L in an argument then is might as well be an argument that sheds light on just how ridiculously long you've remained a professional athlete while playing one of - if not thee - most difficult position in all of sports. I don't know if Carson Palmer is sensitive about his age, but I know that finding out he's older than a guy who feels like he's been out of NFL for a decade only reminded me of how he was able to resurrect his career after if flew all the way off the tracks in the quarterback killing city of Oakland. Carson Palmer's late 30's may have put some unsightly smudges on his postseason record, but the fact that he was even a starting quarterback for a playoff team as recently as two seasons ago is a credit to how well we able to re-capture some of the magic that he had with Chad Ochocinco and T.J. Houshmandzadeh*. There aren't many players that get that close to journeyman status only to rebound back to relevance. Nothing speaks to that quite like him having to legitimately compare DOB's with a relatively successful player whose days as a starting caliber QB were basically DOA when he landed in Atlanta in 2007. Carson Palmer might be old, but his career certainly ain't dead yet. That, in itself, should take some of the sting off of losing an argument by way of the internet. * "Put him on the board, Howshamazilly, got it. Championnnship."  I've got to tip my cap to 'Foot Locker', they almost got me here. They've done a stellar job of making polarizing athletes more likable by getting them to make light of their own flaws (See: DeAngelo Russell, and Lonzo Ball), and were pretty close to succeeding yet again by getting DeMarcus Cousins and Ndamukong Suh to embrace their inner asshole. Unfortunately, getting people to laugh at your scripted, socially unacceptable behavior only works when it's truly an exaggeration of why people think you're a terrible person in the first place. DeMarcus Cousins came away looking better because - no matter how many officials he verbally assaults - I would never take him for the type of person to kick fallen groceries away from an exhausted housewife or shut an elevator door in an elderly woman's face. The same can't be said about 300-pound Ndamukong Suh "accidentally" stomping on the injury prone leg of someone much smaller than him, because he has literally already done that...  I can buy that DeMarcus Cousins' reputation as selfish and difficult is slightly magnified by how emotional and impassioned he gets on the court. However, if you're trying to sell me on Ndamukong Suh being anything less than a recklessly dirty dickhead whose intent is to do anything but injure then you might as well move on to a more likely sale by putting a price tag on the Brooklyn Bridge.  SportingNews- DeAndre Levy, a former second-team All-Pro linebacker, has filed a grievance against the Lions for $1.75 million, according to multiple reports.
At issue is the Lions' medical treatment of Levy, who passed a team physical in March before he was released, which nullified a $1.75 million injury guarantee in his contract for this season, ESPN reported. Levy suffered a torn meniscus in Week 1 last season that required surgery. He returned to play toward the end of the regular season and playoffs. Following his release, Levy underwent a second surgery in April on the same knee. "I figured there was something wrong because they passed me on a physical when I couldn't even sit down to a chair or get into a linebacker stance at the time," Levy told ESPN. "In my mind, I didn't think about the legal contract part of it. I thought, 'This is f—d up. I can't get into position; how can I pass a physical?' I didn't know it was a physical the first time. "I went in for just a follow-up for my knee, we go through the exam or whatever and I see he puts 'pass' on it for the physical. I'm like, 'OK, this ain't right.' So I called my agent and I'm just now learning about the process." ------- I think I'm just going to take DeAndre Levy's word for it here. I have no doubt that he was hurt, but chances are that he's at least slightly exaggerating the extent to which he was in pain in hopes of collecting a couple million before calling it quits. That said, you'd have to be an idiot not to do the same damn thing to a league/organization that stopped at nothing to exploit you financially and physically throughout the prime of your career. So, from this point forward we are just going to suspend mild disbelief and pretend that the former Lions' linebacker passed a physical in which he literally had to be carried into the room and propped up like he just played the role of dead weight in 'Weekend At Bernie's'. Under those circumstances, it's morbidly funny that the Detroit Lions gave him a proverbial pat on the ass that he couldn't even sit on without wincing and said "congrats on your clean bill of health...now get the fuck out!". Unfortunately, it's much more scary that NFL players are so brainwashed/peer pressured into believing they are fine that DeAndre Levy basically hobbled out under the illusion he was "healthy" and had to gimp his way right into a surgeon's office no more than a month later. The visual of a team's medical staff saying "you passed!" while a team executive pops his head in and interrupts to say "you're also fired!" is semi-laughable. That is, until you consider that the soon-to-be-retired person on the ass end of the joke got left with a partially broken body while getting taken for roughly two million by a billion dollar industry. There's no doubt the NFL is a cutthroat business that views it's manual laborers as nothing more than temporary and expendable means to an end. Still, it's crazy to consider that they won't even stop at manipulating players that are taught to remain naive just to keep their job in order to not only win games, but also to pinch what basically amounts to pennies for the powerful. Here's to hoping DeAndre Levy eventually gets his $1.75 million. He may not have gotten the chance to earn it on the field, but he sure as hell deserves it more than the franchise that almost got away (and still might get away) with robbing it from him. 
And there you have it, even the whitest of white boys prefers a little cushion for pushin'...the ball downfield. All due respect to the oh-so-rare, pancake-assed offensive lineman, but baby - you simply ain't got enough back for Danny Etling to prefer getting up under it all season. Admittedly, it's a littttttle awkward for reporter to be ask a college football player which teammate's taint he'd rather come uncomfortably close to touching on a regular basis. However, I can't say I'm surprised he chose the type of ass that provides more warmth, comfort, and durability like the one that's almost fatefully attached to a center with the last name 'Cushenberry'. I mean, if I absolutely had to make contact with the sweaty undercarriage of a man twice my size then I'm taking the booty that provides me a larger margin for error every single time. To each their own of course, but I'd definitely look at Danny Etling as a bit too prudish to be starting at quarterback in the SEC if he was a bigger fan of getting repeatedly poked by a pelvic bone. 
Joe West Interview with USA Today from June 20th:
Biggest Complainer: “It’s got to be Adrian Beltre. Every pitch you call that’s a strike, he says, “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!’ I had a game with him recently and the pitch was right down the middle. He tells me, “that ball is outside.’ “I told him, ‘You may be a great ballplayer, but you’re the worst umpire in the league. You stink.’’ (West later clarified to USA TODAY Sports that he and Beltre are on friendly terms).
Seeing as a player would almost certainly be fined for criticizing an umpire publicly, I could definitely see the MLB's justification for suspending an umpire for criticizing a player, even if that criticism read as though it were very much tongue-in-cheek. Remaining consistent in disciplining the talent as well as those that are paid to govern the talent in an unbiased fashion is important. I mean, how else would a league give the loose perception that it's tooootally officiated fairly by people that defffffinitely never experience innate human emotions like favoritism or disdain? Unfortunately, the timing of this punishment makes as much sense as making your sport less entertaining by way of enforcing rules that apparently aren't even important enough to be put in a book. I don't know if the MLB has a super intricate investigation process that's as time-intensive as jailing a white-collar criminal, but a month and a half seems like a hell of a long tome to determine the legitimacy of a word-for-word quote that was published by a relatively trusted news source. That's why I have no choice but to assume that Joe West is owed a nice steak dinner and approximately three days salary from a colleague whose dumbass ejection may have retroactively changed the tone of a humorous anecdote about Adrian Beltre...
I don't know, maybe I'm off-base here, but it seems much more plausible that Joe West's quote from late June was taken out of context in early August after Gerry Davis' authority complex unjustly had the subject of that quote tossed from a game in late July. I wouldn't consider calling a guy (who is known for his sense of humor) "the worst complainer in the league" in the framework of joke to be some sort of gross misconduct, but it definitely starts to look that way when a person you work closely with acts on that reputation by wildly overreacting to something that almost every player does. Maybe the MLB really wanted to double and triple check to make sure that 'USA Today' heard him right, but - if the calendar is any indication - then Joe West is being suspended for a second hand self-fulfilling prophecy. Braves' Shortstop Johan Camargo Somehow Injured Himself While Lightly Jogging Onto The Field8/9/2017 
Another day...another professional athlete added to the list of guys who have defied everything we think we know about the durability of professional athletes by literally jogging onto the disabled list. Okay fine, it's not that often that a Major Leaguer ends up getting carried off the field after exerting himself as much as you or I would when someone is nice enough to hold the door open for us, but - considering how superhuman these guys are supposed to be - it sure as hell feels like it happens far more often than it should. I have seen people that I have waved across the street show more hustle than that and not once did they end up laying across the yellow lines in need of medical attention. Insanely stupid accidents happen, but it seems the amount that they happen to those whose bodies are trained to withstand them is disproportional to the rest of society. That's probably the fragility of the rest of society doesn't end up as a running joke on every form of sports media, but that still doesn't explain how Johan Camargo's knee crumbled faster than the Braves' playoff hopes. Regardless of the unfortunate outcome, I found this hilarious. After all, I made a promise to myself long ago that I would laugh at anyone that tripped over nothing. I'll be damned if I am going to made liar by a shortstop that trots out onto that field 162 times a year and uses the very same knee that he just hyperextended engaging in the morning routine of the local housewives to make quick, reactionary movements within a tenth of second. It's almost as that ridiculous injury was a product of his lower body rebelling because it's gotten so used to being contorted in unorthodox directions that casually jumping over a line of chalk has become the normal person's equivalent of turning two while leaping over a baserunner that's actively trying to shatter their shins. Honestly, it's either that or he just desperately wanted out of the lineup.  TheComeback- We may still see Johnny Manziel make a comeback, just not necessarily how we expected. The former Texas A&M sensation still wants a job in the NFL, but if he’s not wanted he’d like to coach college football.
Here’s what Manziel said while interviewed by Clay Travis at the International Football Betting Conference in Costa Rica on Monday, via ESPN: “I’d do something involved with sports. I can’t get away from it,” he said. “I’ve had to ask myself that a little bit as of late over the past year, but at the same time I’d want to be involved in sports in some way, whether it’s coaching, whether it’s doing something like that. So I think that’d be my route.” Asked which level he’d like to coach at, Manziel said: “Probably college.” ------ "Probably college". Probably fucking college. So perfectly coy while also being so incredibly transparent. What level does Johnny Football want to coach at when he realizes his NFL pipe dream is actually attached to the bottom of a clogged toilet? Oh, I don't know, probably the level that puts him within spitting distance of the type of drunken, co-ed company he used to keep when he was on top of the world as a 'Heisman Trophy' winner. I'll blindly give him credit, because - contextually - it sounds like his answer was delivered genuinely, but you are out of your godforsaken mind if you think the same can be said about his intentions. The guy who drank his way of a multi-million dollar job - and then continued to smoke and snort his way out of consideration for another one - wants to pursue a career on grounds similar to those that basically encouraged his degeneracy and allowed him to run roughshod. What could possibly go wrong?!? The prototype for the type of bro that can't let go thinks he's best suited to make his living "teaching" kids that are four years removed from fawning over him? Sure, why the hell not?!? Being trotted out there as a starter on an NFL team wasn't enough to make him show up to work sober, so where is the next best professional setting for a famous, currently unemployed 24 year old with addiction/will power issues? Why, of course...it's a college campus! Having responsibilities that are less time-constricting than being a full time student-athlete will definitely keep his hands from wandering and his eyes from dilating. Personally, I think Texas A&M should look his way. There's little to no chance he can provide anything in terms of leadership or authority and he's nowhere close to being able to command respect, but at least he'll get to relive his glory years as a graduate accomplice until his dream job opens up when the Raiders move to Las Vegas! |
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