Say what you want about how Paul George basically threw the entirety of the organization that drafted him under the bus throughout alllllll of the four games they lasted in the playoffs, but don't say the guy hesitates to rip a bandaid off. Indiana clearly doesn't give a crap about his candidness now, but in the long run they'll be slightly more appreciative of not being led astray by a bunch of self-preservative politically correct quotes that do nothing but drag out the pain of uncertainty. Think about all those times you've stayed in a relationship long after it had broken and how much you wish you had that wasted time back, and then try to tell me that Paul George crassness isn't a positive development. PG-13's exodus might be messy enough to be rated 'R', but at least he properly categorized it beforehand. You need not look further than the 100% discount on literally all of his personalized merchandise for proof positive of that. I don't even think I am speaking in hyperbole when I say that this is the most a professional athlete has ever foretold his departure. Christ, compared to Paul George, Carmelo Anthony might as well have had a Rocky Mountaintop tatted on his forehead throughout his very subtle midseason negotiations with the Knicks. Do you realize how far gone a contracted player of his caliber has to be before a retail outlet that invested actual capital in a player essentially sets that capital on fire? Johnny Manziel jerseys were still going for $2 while he blowing coke off his egregiously large bar tabs. I remember doing holiday shopping after Mark Sanchez's ball security was compromised by his own teammate's asscheek, and stores still wouldn't knock more than 50% of his jerseys. Obviously it's a bit different because these shirts are largely in support of a pissed off malcontent instead of his (soon to be former) team. Still, that Free.99 price point is a credit to the brutal honesty of a player who has given not a single grand illusion of a miraculous makeup since the beginning of his preemptive breakup. P.S. Loyalty to the Pacers < Free shit, apparently... 
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I'm not going to beat around the bush that my ball is constantly lost in. It was tough to watch Justin Thomas casually line up perpendicular to the hole and hit the ball with the confidence of Rory McIlroy playing putt-putt. I mean, I was over here thinking that my inability to drive straight, chip with any consistency or accuracy, and rock bright pink pants that could be seen from space were the only things holding me back from finishing in double digits, but apparently a lack of testosterone can be added to the list. Simply put, it takes balls to intentionally shoot away from the green. I don't care how many times he got on bended knee to accurately judge the break. The ghost of Arnold Palmer could have been whispering tips into my ear and I would have been singing "LALALALA" as loud as I could to drown him out, because there's no way I would have risked making myself look stupid. That could have been the most honest lie in the history of world, and I still would had my ball traveling seven feet east of the hole after refusing to take it at face value. I guess it's not surprising that having an unquestioned belief in one's eyes and hand-eye coordination makes a good golfer, but I never thought I would see the day where I would argue that having testicles that tickle the grass was something integral in picking up that seemingly unattainable thing they call a 'birdie'. I guess I just had to witness a professional golfer sink a long one while looking like a blind person to the untrained eye before I did. 
For what it's worth, that was probably the best throw of Tim Tebow's "illustrious" multi-sport career. It may have been unintentional, but if he had displayed that type of arm strength in the NFL then we might still be debating whether or not the undeserved media attention was worth keeping him on to not contribute anything as the 53rd man on a roster. After all, if the lifetime earning of JaMarcus Russell are any indication then eye-popping athletic feats that are completely meaningless and accomplish absolutely nothing can be pretty profitable. In all seriousness, this play is pretty representative of why Tim Tebow needed to try a new sport. Name me one player that could do a better job turning himself into a public spectacle during a pathetically uncontested strikeout for a Minor League team that no one pays attention to... Now whack yourself on the ass with a wooden spoon for being a no good, filthy liar. The former Florida Gator can't even swing at a ball and miss it completely without becoming a parodied version of a professional athlete. If you can't just go about your business and blend in as a crappy hitter in one of approximately one thousand inferior baseball leagues then is there really a sport you could play without making yourself a story for all the wrong reasons? I wish I could feel bad that - despite his best efforts - he's making a mockery of himself, but that would directly conflict with the belly laugh I let out as Tim Tebow's bat damn near flew into the upper deck. 
Watching a red hot Nolan Arenado hit a dinger that simultaneously won the game and completed the cycle while ultimately resulting in a celebratory ending so bloody that it would make John McClane proud was nothing short of awesome. For that reason, I am glad that San Francisco Giants chose to pitch to him in a spot where they were tempting fate by doing so, but I just can't - for the life of me - figure out why they thought it end any other way. I don't have to be an analytics geek to know that intentionally putting two runners in scoring position while up one in the bottom of the 9th is a bad managerial decision. Unfortunately, throwing one straight down the pipe to a .300 hitter who was seeing the ball like a .800 hitter and was one swing away from a milestone seems like a worse managerial decision. I'm all for playing the percentages, but not when it's undoubtedly going to test the baseball gods. Admittedly, I have a half assed knowledge of the game but stepping to the plate with the game and a cycle on the line seems like a pretty rare opportunity, and sports have a way of turning the rare opportunity into the unbelievable occurrence. Somehow, that home run felt too good to be true and also insanely predictable. I don't want to tell Bruce Bochy how to do his job, because he and his three World Series rings might be a tad bit better at it than myself, but when history is a knockin' it might be wise to close the door on the open base you have afforded to you. Not because it would have been a wise baseball choice, but because - from the Giants perspective - the potentially game winning bat would have been better off in literally anyone else's hands. 
And just when it looked like Ray Shero had taken a day off at the worst possible time, a trade for a young, mobile defenseman finally got pushed across the desk of the NHL. Of course, it was defenseman that very few people had heard of, but it was one with undeniable potential that only cost assets that would have been less likely to see theirs come to fruition. In a perfect world a guy who has struggled to get on professional ice wouldn't cost multiple draft picks, but being upset that the Devils didn't walk away from what was an eerily quiet expansion purge with a top end talent equates to being upset that they still possess the first overall pick in the draft. Maybe expectations were unrealistic or perhaps the sky high demand for quality blue liners drove up the asking price, but the silence on the trade front was deafening. To get a proven top-4 defenseman the Devils would have had to have given up something much more valuable, and that's a pretty flawed way of rebuilding a team. Now, I'm not going to tell you that I wasn't disappointed or that my instinctual reaction to this deal was any more excitable than a "meh", but I do feel better about picking up a struggling prospect after realizing that struggling prospect was under the oppressively iron thumb of Peter DeBoer. I am not at liberty to say whether or not Mirco Mueller is going to develop into a solid contributor going forward, but he's definitely going to grow more than he would have being groomed by a coach that does about as well watching over kids as a narcoleptic uncle with a drinking problem. Maybe the Devils' new defenseman is nothing more than a mainstay at the bottom of a terrible lineup, but the lovable Swede that went from "unplayable" to "worth Taylor Hall" with one mid-season firing provides at least a little reason for optimism. Bottomline, I trust Ray Shero. If there were a better, more shrewd move to be made then the guy who prides himself winning trades wouldn't have thought twice about making it. Clearly New Jersey's scouting department thought highly enough of Mirco Mueller to give away pieces they've spent the last few years acquiring to attain him, and - considering their track record - that's good enough for me. Preferably he wouldn't have needed protecting, but the benefit of being a bad team is that all it potentially cost them is an oft-injured 20 point scorer with a supreme sense of humor. I love Beau Bennett as much as the next guy, but until he gains the ability to consistently move/carry the puck out of the defensive zone he's only slightly more valuable to this team than an excess second round draft pick that would have been years away from cracking the lineup. Only time will tell whether or not the Devils got hosed, but Mirco Mueller is far more likely to help make their defensive corps simply because it's nearly impossible for someone that skates as well as he does to be so bad that he breaks what's already broken. The skill is definitely there, and that's a lot more than can be said for the handful of players that got exposed in favor of a guy with what amounts to half an NHL season under his belt. 
You know - in slight defense of the guy that got his ass bullied around the ring by a bored, out of shape boxer - the old "I even beat him when I sucked" analysis can be flawed. The transitive property of defeat doesn't hold up in professional athletics because styles and favorable match-ups can come into play - especially in a sport where having a chance can be predicated on a single punch. Unfortunately for Conor McGregor, his fight against Floyd Mayweather is not remotely close to being considered professional athletics. This isn't even a sporting event. It's a fundraiser for two millionaires that's being poorly disguised as a publicity stunt. Mayweather is basically going head-to-head (for hundreds of millions of dollars) with a heavy bag that talks shit when you hit it like it's an Irish, x-rated children's toy. Floyd could have an epileptic seizure during the first round and he would probably still be able to shake the subpar punches of an MMA fighter masquerading as a boxer for an egregious sum of money. Now, I'm obviously still going to begrudgingly tune it. Not only because repetitive baseball highlights will have me starved for even the most non-competitive competition by late August, but because I can't hypocritically skip out on predetermined entertainment having just spent two months watching the NBA Playoffs. The pageantry of this circus alone will be more than enough to cover the cost of the PayPerView. That doesn't mean I won't hate myself for purchasing it after the fact, but that sense of self loathinfg will will be worth it to see just how eye-openingly lopsided a boxing match can be between the best, most technically sound boxer of a generation and someone whose technique appears to be that of the loudmouth drunk slurring his words from the end of the bar. It Was Just A Casual Friday Until A 'C' Bomb (Accidentally) Got Dropped On The MLB Network6/16/2017 
I know I am taking some liberties here, but there is just something oh-so-fitting about a guy named 'Dick Justice' accidentally using an explicit, inappropriate word for vagina that I can't even blame Richard for a slip that could have potentially been Freudian depending on the state of his marriage. I never thought I would consider a grown man saying "cunt" on live television to be a fateful result, but that's the first time that I can remember hearing a 'C' bomb get mistakenly dropped mid-broadcast and the person who detonated it just so happens to have a name that basically translates to "due process on behalf of the penis"?! I go back and forth on whether or not I believe in a higher power, but if there is one up there then that son-of-an-unsatisfied-bitch sure has a fucked up sense of humor that I can truly appreciate. I may still be in the cun....errr.....hunt for salvation. However, if it means I get some more ironic, awkward, and x-rated miscommunications on the channel devoted to the most stick-in-the-ass league in all of sports then Lord Jesus, the wheel is all yours buddy. h/t AwfulAnnouncing No Pads, But The Hits Keep Coming: Terron Armstead Is Reportedly Out 4-6 Months With A Torn Labrum6/16/2017 
If for no other reason than the dark side being a sad, lonely place underneath my pillow that I'd rather not visit on a Friday afternoon, let's look on the bright side here. For starters, the Saints' all-too-important draft grade just got bumped up a couple of letters. I don't think I was the only one that was skeptical about selecting an offensive lineman in the first round when there were still so many holes on defense, but - if grading on the inevitable injury curve - it appears they really aced that Ryan Ramcyzk pick. As is par for the course he's also on the mend, but that might be a good thing with how many substantial pieces to the puzzle have dropped before pads have been put on. Obviously I would rather the Saints have their starting Pro Bowl-caliber left tackle protecting Drew Brees' blindside during this extremely telling upcoming season. However, proving the draft pundits wrong while avoiding the uncertainly of the weekly "will he, won't he" that's seemingly been Terron Armstead's playing status since he came into the league is quite the (depressing) consolation prize. In all seriousness though, this is awful news. Did the Saints forget to exterminate team facilities over the offseason? How is that goddamn injury bug still biting this team? When will the epidemic end? First Max Unger mysteriously finds out his foot needs operating on after months in which it could have been recovering. Then Nick Fairley's dormant heart condition seemingly arises as the ink dries on his long term contract. Now Terron Amstead - an athletic anomaly whose sky-high potentially is ironically being limited by his own freakish body - needs (potentially season ending) shoulder surgery after taking part in non-strenuous workouts in which he had absolutely nothing to prove? What the hell is going to happen when this professional tackle football team actually starts playing professional tackle football? Now, the good thing about the Saints' depth getting put to the test is that - for the first time in a long time - they might actually have some. I just really, really wish they would reach the part of training camp where they are actually playing a contact sport at a high level before having to absorb brutal, detrimental blows to it. Make no mistake, losing Terron Armstead is just that.
I don't want to make light of racism that is so over-the-top that it feels like it's the script of a parody that the 'Chappelle's Show' left on the cutting room floor, but I'm going to do it anyway because the entirety of that quote is too stupid to process as anything other than a piss poor attempt at shock humor. So with that being said...Donald Sterling, eat your goddamn cold, black heart out! Time to let Phil Jackson's career as an braindead executive sleep with the fishes, because he has officially been let off the hook! I imagine that Gedvydas Vainauskas team building strategy reads a little something like this: "One black. Two blacks. Three blacks?! NO MORE!", and the sad part is that he probably considers that a step in the right direction. Honestly, what are the odds that his organizational limit for African Americans was set firmly at 1 before someone explained to him that excusing your melanin deficient roster by referencing a token black is a tell tale sign that you are - indeed - a racist? They've got to be even higher than the pedestal he's placed himself atop of. I bet he thought that employing two black guys would have him mentioned in the same breath as Abraham Lincoln. That is, until their posse snuck on the team, sabotaged the postseason with their inherent thuggery, and had him sounding like Paula Deen drunkenly discussing the ingredients she uses when cooking up racial tension. We are talking about a guy that stopped himself mid-sentence to soften the blow of what he was about to say...before immediately stating that his carefully crafted research shows that African Americans are genetically predisposed to committing felonies once they form a 'Big (black) 3'. Now, I don't doubt that a group of black players treated some Lithuanian program like their own personal playground because they reached rock bottom in terms of their careers. I just think that migggght be more an indictment on the state of basketball in Lithuania than it is an indictment of an entire race that dominates the sport in harmony on continents where people actually care about it.  BBC- An Argentine football player has caused outrage after admitting that he used a needle to hurt his rivals during a cup match on Sunday.
Federico Allende, a defender for lower-division club Sport Pacifico, bragged in a radio interview about using the needle several times against strikers from top-division club Estudiantes. Pacifico's president Hector Moncada vowed to expel the player. "We are devastated. This incident has tarnished the team's good work. I will expel him from the club," Mr Moncada told Clarín newspaper. Pacifico won the match 3-2, knocking Estudiantes out of the competition in a major upset. Allende gave Cordoba's Vorterix Radio an interview on Tuesday in which he said "you need to play dirty" to beat big clubs like Estudiantes de La Plata. "I kept piercing the Estudiantes strikers with a needle," said the Pacifico defender. "We know that top division players don't like contact, they don't like if we waste time or if we play dirty. So that was the way to do it. Football is like that. Football is for the clever," Allende said. South American football expert Tim Vickery told the BBC that Allende had hidden two needles in his shin guards. One broke but, when the referee was at the other end of the field, Allende used the other to poke Colombian striker Juan Otero several times. Allende said on the radio: "I completely nullified Otero. He must hate me." --------- Was that wrong? Was Federico Allende not supposed to steal supplies from his grandmother's sewing kit in hopes of invoking some fairly common fear of needles from his opponent during a competitive sporting event? I know here in the states we frown upon intimidating the opposition by piercing them away from the play, but - considering how proudly he spoke about his on-pitch tailor work - I think Federico Allende is going to have to claim ignorance on this one. No man in their right mind would be that forthcoming about something that is so obviously wrong unless they were completely unaware, so I think I am going to have to pin this on the coach for not making himself more clear when he told his players to "get under their skin". In all seriousness, this is a move that could work out in favor of Federico Allende assuming that whole expulsion business is temporary. Clearly he doesn't mind being thought of as soccer's version of Sid from 'Toy Story', and that reputation could certainly bide him some possession time. If you're crazy enough to stab someone during a soccer game once then you're damn sure crazy enough to do it again. Don't think that's not something that would be running through the mind of every single striker that meandered their way onto his side of the field. You don't open your ear up to Mike Tyson, you don't spread your legs around Draymond Green, and you don't challenge Federico Allende within a one arm radius. He may never stash another needle in his shin guard for the rest of his career (on the off-chance that he still has one), but the message he literally and figuratively sent by doing it the first time is one with staying power. Human embroidery might cross the line of what is considered gamesmanship, but it's not something that's easily forgotten.  FTW- Earlier this week, Central Florida kicker Donald De La Haye said he was presented with an ultimatum from UCF’s compliance office: Either he could get rid of his popular YouTube channel that makes him some money, or quit football entirely. It looks like he hasn’t quit just yet, and he’s using the channel to make a statement about the NCAA in the process... So that's it, right? We just got our decision from Donald De La Haye? He officially values his YouTube channel and it's 59,000+ subscribers over repeatedly kicking a football for a University that is one year removed from a winless, defeated season? I know that technically he's still allowed to make videos as long as he's not doing something awful and egregious like putting a little petty cash in his pocket during the process, but if there's one bull you don't mess with without getting the horns then it's the NCAA. I love that the kid used a successful public medium to shed light on the injustices of an organization that looks out for the "best interests" of student athletes by making sure they stay broke while exploiting them for every penny they are worth. However, the higher-ups that offered a sternly worded ultimatum in response to a couple advertising dollars probably aren't going to be as receptive. In fact, I think I am at liberty to say that the NCAA most definitely won't feel inspired to change by watching a video that blatantly mocks their head-scratchingly hypocritical ways. That's not an indictment of how well UCF's (potentially former) field goal kicker made his point, but rather an indictment of the soulless robots that are wired to marginalize their manual labor. Will Smith might have you thinking differently, but 'iRobot' was just a movie and machines most certainly do not have feelings or opinions that can be swayed by humor or circumstance. I wish Donald De La Haye the best, but I don't think that changing the one track minds of rich white dudes that have ridden the backs of student athletes in an effort to reach the highest branches of the money tree is as simple as internet shaming them. Hue Jackson Is Concocting A Quarterback Rotation And His Secret Ingredient Is....Predictable.6/15/2017 
Why yes, the magical - albeit temporary - elixir for all of life's difficult decisions and unsolvable problems...binge drinking. Obviously Hue Jackson was speaking tongue-in-cheek, but I'm just happy that he gave a well respected voice to a phenomenon that is present throughout all walks of life. Every good joke contains at least a hint of truth, and the blood stream of every Cleveland Browns' coach contains at least a hint of alcohol. I doubt you'll be able to find Hue Jackson cozied up to the bar and drawing up his depth chart as a handful of dangerously fruity cocktails quickly catch up to him. That said, if you think he's making the choice to give Brock Osweiler the inside track at directly affecting the outcome of NFL games without needing to summon an Uber ride home then you probably need to be given a breathalyzer. Shit, saying his personnel choices will be fueled by Mai Tai's was probably for the sake of humor, because people wouldn't be so quick to laugh if they learned that warm whiskey out of the bottle was his preferred method of drowning the sorrows that he has rotting under center.  ProFootballTalk- If you were surprised to learn that Maclin had been cut, Maclin was, too. On a scale of one to 10, Maclin’s surprise factor was, he said, “Eleven.”
How did he find out? “Through a voicemail,” Maclin said. “[From G.M.] John Dorsey. I was upset, I was shocked. Apparently, they had been trying to trade me for two or three months. Which who knows if that’s true or not? I would just think that . . . a guy who is going into his ninth year would know if he’s being shopped or not. It is what it is. I still have respect for Big Red, still have respect for the organization. I’m not going to bad mouth anybody or talk any dirt on anybody. It was an unfortunate situation. They felt like they didn’t want me as a player anymore, so it is what it is. I’m happy with where I am right now, and I think that might be the last time I talk about what I call my former life. So I don’t think I want to talk about that anymore.” ----- Make no mistake, Chiefs' General Manager John Dorsey handled this very, very poorly. Jeremy Maclin is a proud professional that left it all out on the field - to varying levels of success - for Kansas City the last two seasons. He at least deserved a chance to respond to what must have been a pretty shocking message, and in all honesty he probably deserved the opportunity to do so in person. Obviously it wouldn't have eased the blow to his (now former) wide receiver's ego or changed the outcome at all. Still, rushing through a voicemail to avoid a difficult conversation with someone that wouldn't exactly be welcoming to the context of it requires a pretty pathetic lack of professionalism..........that the average person can totalllllly relate to. I don't want to encourage this type of bush league behavior from an executive that makes millions upon millions of dollars off the hard work of the athletes that he won't even bless with common courtesy. However, that thrill he experienced as the tone sounded following a set of rings that seemed to last a goddamn eternity? Boy, oh boy, it would be nothing short of hypocritical for me to criticize a man for following up that orgasmic sense of relief by dropping some cold, harsh reality free of feedback. Of course he could have hung up and tried again at a later time, but - if he's anything like me - giving that awkward "we need to talk..." disclaimer makes him want to die. Repeatedly calling someone to deliver bad news until you get a non-automated answer from an actual human person in real time? As far as I am concerned, that's the equivalent of playing Russian Roulette. How many times would you pull the trigger before clicking the proverbial safety button and saving yourself from an incredibly uneasy dialogue? Exactly.  Yahoo- Major League Baseball will relax its uniform rules for a weekend later this season, allowing players to put nicknames on the back of their jerseys, wear fluorescent-colored shoes and personalize a patch paying tribute to someone instrumental in their development, according to a memo obtained by Yahoo Sports.
The event, called Players Weekend, is planned for Aug. 25-27 and was negotiated between the league and MLB Players Association. Players long have sought to express their personal style on the field and capitalize on the intersection of fashion and sports in a way other leagues don’t allow, and the result will be a test of boundaries baseball may be inclined to stretch in the future depending on the weekend’s success. Players will have the option to wear a jersey with a nickname – though they are limited to just one, according to the memo, and “inappropriate or offensive” nicknames will be banned. The items with minimal color restrictions include spikes, batting gloves, wristbands, compression sleeves and catcher’s masks. The colors, according to the memo, must avoid interfering with the game and an umpire’s ability to make a call. White gloves, wristbands and sleeves are prohibited. Each jersey will feature a patch with space for a player to personalize it by “writing the name of an individual or organization that was instrumental to his development,” according to the memo. ------ Ut oh. The strict, overprotective parent is trying his hand at playing the cool dad, and - predictably - it's coming off forced and unnatural. I'm glad that 'Major League Baseball' finally appears to realize that it needs to make some concessions to it's unwritten uptightness in order to appeal and relate to younger fans, but this is like Father Baseball showing up to chaperone in a backwards hat. Newsflash Pops, when the kids said they wanted you to chill out a bit they wanted you to make the game more entertaining, not more cringeworthy. Admittedly, the personalized honorary patch is a great idea and I'm not afraid to admit that my stupid brain occasionally finds itself drawn to bright colors, but stealing a novelty marketing tool from a defunct football league run by a egomaniacal wrestling tycoon comes off as trying too hard. That's not to say that some players won't appreciate having the opportunity to rock their nickname, but maybe it would be wiser to focus on the problems that will still exist after one wild and crazy (relatively speaking) weekend. For instance, if a player can't celebrate a big hit - while wearing pink batting gloves with some locker room inspired alias stitched into his back - without having a fastball whizz by his jawline his next time up then isn't the entire purpose of making baseball more "fun" largely defeated? I think it would be interesting to see who professional athletes credit for their success via an emblem on their uniform....until I fall asleep during the 7th inning of a 3.5 hour game. Baseball is always going to be slower and drag more than most sports so some of it's problems are inherent, but the ones that are simply a product of their prim and proper self importance aren't going to be solved by collectively taking on an actual personality for a few days.  TheComeback- The St. Louis Cardinals are hosting “Christian Day” once again this year, but one of their speaker choices has some in the LGBQT+ community questioning the decision.
Former Cardinals outfielder Lance Berkman will speak during the celebration. The same Lance Berkman who’s condemned equal rights for LGBT people in Houston and called out a law that allowed transgendered people to use bathrooms that align with their gender identity. Naturally, the St. Louis Pride Center doesn’t think Berkman is the model spokesman. “Pride St. Louis is disappointed by the decision of the St. Louis Cardinals to provide a public platform for Berkman, an individual whose words and actions towards the LGBTQ+ are divisive and demeaning,” the St. Louis Pride Center said in a statement to Outsports. “We know that the Cardinals can do better, and we want to extend an offer to help them by co-organizing their official LGBT Pride Night at Busch Stadium. Let’s work together to promote love, diversity, and inclusion.” In response, the Cardinals unveiled they’ll host a pride night this season. ------- Ah yes, 'Christian Day'. Some might actually call it the holiest of the days glorifying a distinct demographic in hopes of tricking the general public into thinking that professional sports teams give an ounce of a shit about your race, religion, or sexuality as long as your money is green. An entire day devoted Catholicism, what could possibly go wrong when you choose to celebrate the set of beliefs that is antiquated at best and completely hypocritical at worst?! Pushing the selectively and conveniently neglected moral code of the vast majority in a public forum? This was sure to go over well, whether a noted homophobe of an ex-player was selected as the honorary spokesperson of salvation or not. Lance Berkman's obsolete beliefs may currently be less relevant than his long-forgotten career, but Jesus Christ trails only 'heterosexual pride' and 'white privilege' in terms of needing some well deserved recognition. So instead of focusing on the fact that the floor is being given to a former athlete who historically has no problem offering up his divisive thoughts on sexualities that he'll never understand, let's focus on the worthiness of his cause. Thall shall not lieth with another man, or feel it necessary to study the legitimacy of his penis while urinating next to "him". As someone that avoids awkward interactions with strangers like the plague, I can get on board with at least 50% of that sentiment. Of course there will be blasphemists that argue everyday in the United States is 'Christian Day', but if everyday is 'Christian Day' then is any day really, truly, and spiritually 'Christian Day'?!? Lance Berkman and the St. Louis Cardinals think not.  “We put in work, man. Stop telling that it wasn’t earned or we didn’t work for it, man. We were the most disciplined team all year, we preached teamwork and togetherness all season, and it’s hard to do that with a bunch of egos in the league, and we peaked at the perfect time.
We got better when I got hurt. We struggled at first, then, as a smart team does, that plays together, that’s unpredictable out there, they figured it out, and when I was hurt, they took it to another level. And then when I came back, we just kept going from there. But we were disciplined, we had a message everyday – it was always just about us.” - Kevin Durant (h/t TheComeback) ------ I have to admit, this is quite the revelation. Here I was thinking that the Golden State Warriors dominance had more to with having an unforeseen level of talent on their roster and it turns out the real key to their success was the laziness of literally everyone else. Honestly, I couldn't feel more silly. Of course the biggest difference between the team that employs four of the top 20 players in the world and the other 29 teams that share the other sixteen is work ethic. Want to compete the 73 win juggernaut that then added one of the best scorers of all time? Don't concern yourself with forming a superteam, just try super hard! All those other organizations are out there worrying about doing the impossible by matching up skill-wise, and they are ignoring the one thing that truly makes the dream work...TEAM WORK! Why waste your time trying to make up for a vast disparity in ability when it's better spent giving your shitty players more reps! Everyone knows success in the NBA is predicated on effort. The Warriors didn't win because it's literally impossible to guard three of the best shooters of all time at once. They won because those shooters preached togetherness. Nothing evens the scales of competitive balance quite like practice. It's really a shame that more franchises in a league full of professional athletes don't realize that. In all seriousness, it's time for Kevin Durant to shut the fuck up. His finals performance was nothing short of awe-inspiring and he proved he deserves the ring that he all-but-guaranteed himself last summer, but in prematurely securing that championship 11 months prior he lost the ability to talk about how hard doing so was. The Golden State Warriors ability to sacrifice for the greater good is impressive, but the fact that their egregiously lopsided talent put work in to their profession like literally every single one of their peers is not. 
You know what, not only is Jarrius Robertson a worthy recipient of 'The Jimmy V Perseverance Award', but he's a necessary recipient of 'The Jimmy V Perseverance Award'. That's not to say the 15 year old with a personality that is charming and hilarious beyond it's years needs the recognition, but the fact that he is in the midst of overcoming a potentially fatal liver ailment absolutely does. With how enthusiastic he is about life it becomes easy to forget that it hasn't exactly dealt him the best hand. With one follow on social media you'd think he were everywhere at all times, and that does a bit of a disservice to the battle that had him resigned to a hospital bed following an organ transplant just a few short weeks ago. If persevering is defined by staying the course despite tough circumstances then no one personifies it more than the kid whose unconditional happiness would have you believing that he's healthier than all of us. The trials and tribulations he's faced since birth are literally only on display when he's furthering the cause to put them in the rearview. Having witnessed him light up the room so many times before, there's little to no doubt that Jarrius Robertson's sense of humor is going to leave an entire amphitheater feeling more alive than ever before. It took a life to save his, and he's used it to inspire everyone he comes in contact with. If that's not the mark of a person who has got enough fire in his belly to carry such a prestigious torch then I don't know what is...
I feel like some people might take this opportunity to bash Damian Lillard for being being unaware of the landscape around the league that employs him, but - as far as I am concerned - these tweets say more about the player that's dying to get to free agency than the player that was convinced he was already there. Consider this, Paul George has done such a good job portraying himself as a eligible bachelor that his own peers have prematurely started to assume he's a single man. He's basically the athletic equivalent of the chick whose relationship is falling apart so she's out at the bar without her boyfriend so much that interested parties don't even ask if she's taken anymore. She might not be going home with any guys, but she's preemptively got a plethora of penises lined for when she's not restricted by the constraints of a shitty situation. I guess it sounds kind of fucked up when you put it like that, but there's something to be said about being given signs that are so 'can't-miss' that they might as well be neon and Paul George has made sure the Pacers' road to the future is more well marked than the strip club scene in Tampa Bay. His bags are ready to be packed, and it's up to his current team as to when they eventually will be. Until then, the anticipation of the inevitable is only going to have suitors wanting what they can't have even more so than one NBA All Star already does - even if it does get under the skin of scorned Indiana fans...
BREAKING NEWS: Future 'Hall Of Fame' Running Back Adrian Peterson Knows How To Catch A Football6/14/2017  PFT- Adrian Peterson insists he’s a better receiver than the numbers suggest. In his 10 seasons in Minnesota, the running back averaged only two catches and 15.8 yards per game.
“It’s always funny to me because I’ve been playing this game since I was 7, and a lot of people say, ‘Well, he can’t catch the ball,'” Peterson said, Josh Katzenstein of the New Orleans Times-Picayune. “I’ve been playing since I was 7 years old. I can catch a football.” Peterson said he wasn’t a better receiver with the Vikings because that wasn’t something they asked of him. But his two most productive seasons as a receiver came with Brett Favre at quarterback. Peterson had 43 catches for 436 yards in 2009 and 36 catches for 341 yards in 2010. “It’s all about having a guy that’s going to get the ball to you, and without a doubt I know (Drew) Brees is going to,” Peterson said. “We’ll be doing that.” ------ EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! The man who could walk off the football field in five minutes as a future 'Hall Of Famer' after terrifying every single defense he's ever faced since he was a child can - indeed - catch a football! The physical specimen who is known for having such a large, powerful grip that it could bring the most calloused of men to their knees with one causal greeting is also capable of putting those hands together to stop some inflated leather from succumbing to gravity! Who knew?! Imagine if the other 31 teams that didn't sign a freakishly athletic, unvalued runner were aware that runner could also catch? Man, the New Orleans Saints really have to feel blessed to have picked him up for a reasonable price before the rest of league realized that a guy who has shunned modern science to fully recover in record time from multiple disastrous injuries also had elementary hand-eye coordination! Here I was thinking that every mini-camp story was completely useless conjecture, and - BOOM! - all the sudden I find out that Adrian Peterson doesn't need the ball delivered directly into his torso to be effective! Well, ne-ver-mind. In fact, get some more media down to the practice field. Can never be too sure when the next generational, professional athlete might break a story about his hidden talent of doing the something most people are taught before they reach the age of 5.  Jacksonville- Jacksonville’s minor league baseball team is having its usual Thirsty Thursday promotion this week with discounted beer — 12 ounces for $1, 24 ounces for $2. But this Thursday there’s a second promotion: You Might Be the Father’s Day.
That’s right. In honor of Sunday being Father’s Day, the Jumbo Shrimp will distribute free pregnancy tests at Thursday’s game. “So you’ll know if you need to return for Sunday’s Father’s Day game,” the team’s website explains. “It will be an evening filled with suspense, intrigue and manila envelopes.” Craw said Monday the pregnancy test came up just like all the other ideas do. “We were just sitting around at the promotion meeting, looking at our calendar,” he said. “That’s something that plays to our Thirsty Thursday crowd, which tends to be young professionals and college students. They like to laugh and have a good time and would appreciate it being tongue-in-cheek.” ------- There's a lot of things you can say about the 'Jumbo Shrimp', but don't you dare say they don't understand their clientele. In fact, not only do they have a firm grasp of the the type of people that are drawn to the stadium by $2 tall boys, but they appreciate them so much that they threw themselves at the mercy of PC culture to provide them with something that they will undoubtedly need in the (likely near) future. Binge drinking and baby making might not be the most socially acceptable of correlations, but don't tell me it's one that's not regionally relevant in Jacksonville. "Tongue-in-cheek" my ass. When you live in Florida and a night out consists of getting loaded off insanely cheap booze at minor league baseball games it's only a matter of time before you're sweating out belated menstruation. As far as I am concerned, we should be applauding those that consider a pregnancy test a reason to get out to the ball park. At least they are taking responsibility for their actions instead of disputing the soon-to-be living and breathing ramifications of them on 'Maury'. I suppose the 'Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp' could have drummed up a promotion that was a little more enticing to the actual fathers out there, but you'd have to be a dead beat to be taking full advantage of cheap domestics on a Thursday night. Plus, grooming prospects is what Minor League Baseball is all about so to the prospective dads go the peeing sticks! |
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