I have to be honest here, I'm not sure how I feel about these cleats. On the one hand, I want them on my feet...like right now. On the other hand, they are a little too "look at me" for the most selfless player on the entire Saints roster and perhaps the most chivalrous player in the entire league. I guess the whole point (other than giving the NFL a quick out after fining their players for wearing fashionable, creative, and meaningful footwear all season) is to draw attention and raise awareness for worthy, philanthropic organizations, but it's still going to weird having to squint at #9 like I've had too much to drink when he's in his 5-step drop. All that being said, these kicks are fire so let's hope New Orleans' Golden Boy lives up the lofty expectations he set for himself by having his charity shine the brightest. More importantly, let's hope 'The Brees Dream Foundation' catches all the eyes and collects as much money as possible to help those affected by one of the most torturous diseases known to man. Fuck Cancer.
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This Body Builder That Slapped A Judge Following A Loss Did A Disservice To All Body Builders11/30/2016  Tough break body building community, tough break. I think almost everyone that takes at least a few moments out of the day to look at things other than themselves already kinda presumed that you guys weren't as tough as your God-like physiques would indicate. However, having your insecurities put on full display by Giannis Magos' bitch slap really confirmed that suspicion. Seriously, that was like the steroid ridden, vanity-fueled equivalent of a "you think she's prettier than me?!?" drink to the face. What kind of overgrown meathead - at the height of his rage - goes in for the open hand slap? I think Giannis Magos and those that aspire to be like him need to do a little self reflection, and that doesn't mean spend even more time (if that's possible) staring in the mirror. You simply can't look like a Greek mythological figure whose too muscular to touch the side of his own ribcage and have puny little judges immediately springing up off the ground without a scratch when you physically assault them. I'm not saying this brick shit house - that was on the wrong side of an HGH driven mood swing - should have gone closed fist on someone a quarter of his size, but I am saying he should have refrained from doing any physical activity that wasn't flexing. That's when glamour muscles truly get exposed for the empty, relatively useless excess strength that they are. I would say there's nothing more emasculating than slapping someone because they said you weren't shredded enough, but boy did Giannis and his shriveled baby balls prove me wrong... According to Australia's Yahoo 7news, Magkos also reportedly pulled his penis out of his Speedo in retaliation. 
You know, it's really nice to see a guy learn from his mistakes. So often in sports we see professional athletes act like they are beyond reproach when they are disciplined and it's really good to know that Andrew Shaw isn't one of those guys. Sure, he reacted to an obvious (Also See: Stupid) penalty - that was slightly aided by embellishment- by throwing a fit, breaking his stick into a multitude of pieces, and yelling "fuck" so many times that's a smile crept across the corpse of George Carlin. However, he didn't use any homophobic slurs towards an official and that, my friends, is what we call an improvement. That's the thing they don't tell you about baby steps. Nine times out of ten they result in the person taking them falling flat on their ass in the process. That doesn't mean progress wasn't made. This video was really more of a source of comedy than a source of controversy, and that's pretty damn commendable for a guy who is less than a year removed from getting suspended for a Stanley Cup playoff game for yelling that F-word directly into the lens of a camera. Let us not forget that Rome wasn't built in a day so Andrew Shaw's anger probably can't be managed in two minutes.   Call me crazy, but I have a much bigger problem with someone who beat and choked his pregnant girlfriend making a living in a league that's supposedly taken a strong stance against domestic abuse than I do with the presence of his picture atop said league's social media account. I just can't get myself too riled up about the NFL's decision (likely some completely tone deaf intern's decision) to glorify the recent achievements of someone that plead guilty to assaulting a woman after they, themselves, gave him the opportunity to make millions of dollars as their employee. I guess I could rant about how unfathomable dumb it is to draw more attention to the emergence of an athlete whose past makes Roger Goodell and Co. look insanely hypocritical, but it seems like that's just par for the course with how they conduct business. I can't say I know for certain, but I have reason to believe that all the money they've cost themselves by alienating certain demographics has been more than made up for by the money they've saved by refusing to hire anyone who is mildly competent in public relations. The sunk cost of doing everything they can to spite themselves is counteracted by the time and effort they don't put into making sure they're actions aren't deemed head-scratchingly offensive. I'd love to tell you that's an ass-backwards way to run a company, but the NFL is basically lapping any and all of it's competition. It's genuinely starting to feel like a multibillion dollar organization's mission statement is "just stupid enough to work". It's like the shitty viral video that you can't stop watching even though you low-key hate yourself everything time you do. It's become readily apparent that NFL's idea of "protecting the shield" is leaving the shield unsupervised while they go out binge drinking, leave their phone in the car, and hope the house isn't completely burnt down when they get back. They say there is no right way to parent, so it's tough to hate on a wrong way that gets results. I'm Only Half Kidding, But Did The Rams Move To Los Angeles Solely To Justify Keeping Jeff Fisher?11/30/2016  Uproxx- But according to Rams COO Kevin Demoff, Fisher has been a success for the Rams for everything besides his record. Allow Demoff to explain, as he told NFL.com:
“Everybody will want to judge Jeff through the prism of just the record, but that’s totally unfair when you look at the set of circumstances he was handed this year. It was different than any team in the NFL. “We moved halfway across the country, then had OTAs in Oxnard. Training camp was in Irvine, now we’re in Thousand Oaks. We moved coaches and players and families. To provide leadership and consistency, he’s done a model job.” Look, I get it. Los Angeles - in theory, not current attendance - is a much more desirable market than St. Louis. It was pretty insane that the second most popular city in the continental United States didn't have it's own football team, so I am not saying Jeff Fisher's seemingly impenetrable job security is the only reason it currently does. That said, the Rams COO didn't exactly do too good job of debunking that myth. In fact, the quote above might as well be one of those fake Facebook stories, because it actually promotes that ridiculously false narrative. Don't judge the Head Coach of an NFL team by his record? Judge him by the consistency of his bare-minimum-mediocrity and his ability to...well...make sure every member of his team knows what facility to show up to? What are we even talking about anymore? Did Kevin Demoff think moving the team to LaLa Land would have the heads of the remaining Rams fans so far in the clouds that they would forget that he failed to win as many as half his games in any of the previous 4 seasons? The only reasonable line of thinking that could lead to the previous statement is that he figured all the old fans would abandon ship and that the new ones picked up in the City of Angels would be jusssst self-involved enough to be completely uninformed on the recent history of their shiny new toy. Now that I'm typing it out that doesn't seem like the worst idea either. Pretty sure Lakers fans have yet to acknowledge that an NBA title has been won outside of Los Angeles since Kobe officially filled his entire fist so maybe they won't even realize that the Rams have sucked far prior to practicing in pristine weather conditions. Can't see them being able to ride out this wave of regional narcissism too long with how demanding that fan base is, but for the time being? I'm sure the head coach with the longest leash in NFL history is pretty happy that all he had to do to be given a clean slate was move from the melancholy Midwest to sunny Southern California. 
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The Response:
I want you to do yourself a favor and let this sentence sink in, because it's really all that matters... J.R. Smith is an NBA Champion. There is plenty to criticize about a player having such a lack of awareness that he leaves the court mid-fucking-game to dap up somebody on the other team's bench, but I know I don't feel comfortable doing it. I would say it's at least slightly irresponsible to answer to your gaff by pretending you are actually your own alter-ego whose only a couple kick boxing classes away from becoming a ninja, but I'm not going to be the one to reprimand J.R. Smith. Somehow, the professional athlete that spent an entire month with his damn shirt off in public is beyond reproach. He contributed on both sides of the floor while making history against - statistically speaking - the winningest team ever and in doing so brought Cleveland it's first Championship in over a half a century. He finally got his money right over the summer, but the jewelry on his finger is the real reason J.R. Smith should have kicked off that interview by doing some Kanye karaoke. You la-la-la-literally can't tell Swish nothin'. I'm sure that will become mildly infuriating for his coaches and teammates, but it's a goddamn endless pipe (hehehe) line of content for those of us that just like stupidly lovable athletes that do absolutely asinine shit on a routine basis. RG3 Tried To Get Aggressive In Response To The Fake Twitter Account That Took Aim At His Family Life11/30/2016
Let me start by stating the obvious, the loser that took the time to start a twitter account pretending to be the estranged wife of a largely irrelevant professional athlete has the deepest of soul searching to do. Someone really needs to find the person behind the computer screen and uncover who hurt them, because this is such a blatant act of projecting that it makes the crazy lady crying that she was being discriminated against for voting Trump look like she's secure with herself. That said, let's get into RG3's response....
Again I remind you, I think it is absolutely despicable to go online imitating someone else and speak on a sore subject you most likely know absolute nothing about. That said, if you were going to do so at the expense of a professional athlete then RG3 is far closer to being the right one than "the wrong one". I certainly wouldn't encourage anonymous online bullying, but I would be remiss not to mention how easy the target was. If there was every a multimillionaire whose personal business could be turned into a parody account it would be the guy who got robbed by a fucking valet after leaving his wallet on his car seat. I don't want to say someone that was drafted #2 into the most violent league in all the land doesn't have the right to tough talk, but he's certainly compromised that right by doing his public speaking primarily through widely-shared, oft-double-tapped Instagram quotes the last few years. Social media threats are inherently un-intimidating, but even more so when the source posted a Chinese proverb 17 minutes earlier. I do feel bad for RG3 because his professional life has basically turned into a complete joke and his personal life has been put on full blast, but - goddamn - could the guy that finished his "illustrious" Redskins career by punting footballs by himself on the practice field stop making himself so easy to pick on? 
Wait, did a former NFL executive just use a plane crash that took the lives of 76 innocent people to puff out his chest in regards to the organizational stability of his previous employer? That's what just happened, no? In fairness, he is absolutely correct. The NFL would have no problem filling a depleted roster with the endless supply of players that are dying (early) to play in their league. That wouldn't have been within the first 1,000 thoughts that I had after hearing that an entire soccer team died in horrific fashion, but it is technically true. After all, if it weren't then the NFL would only be one engine failure from losing an entire city's worth of pockets to use for spending money. It's a shocking glimpse into just how little their higher-ups value the actual people that make their sport a success, but we should have already known that with how they talk about the long term effects of concussions like the average person talks about alien life forms. I'm sure if Roger Goodell had his wish players fresh out of college that didn't make an active roster would be used as inventory in some Westworld-esque warehouse. I can't say I blame him. With the fluidity of non-guaranteed contracts for players that play the most violent game on the planet they should keep a shed of linebackers waiting out behind every practice facility in case of emergency. Not quite sure why Joe Browne thought it would be a good idea to use a fatal catastrophe to allude to the NFL's cutthroat business savvy that treats human beings like dulled razors, but it's not the first time he didn't do an ounce of critical thinking before he started typing...
Also, it isn't lost on me that this is now my second straight blog about someone who was unable to go more than 12 hours without saying something ludicrously insensitive about an international tragedy. If that doesn't speak to the narcissistic nature of this country then I don't know what does. I'm not trying to shit all over Americans just because two of them almost instantly used a deadly disaster to push their narrative. That said, a goddamn plane crash on our own turf probably wouldn't be getting used for cheap laughs and humble brags - at least not this soon anyway. P.S. Nice try New England, but you don't stay successful in the NFL for this long by treating players like people. Bill Belichick knows that better than anyone...
   I think even the families and friends of the deceased would have to agree that there's no worse feeling than thinking you've got a zinger that's going to have the entire internet in stitches before watching in horror as it falls flatter than an aircraft that just plummeted from the clouds. Seriously, can't we just take it a little easy on Adam Rozenbachs? After all, he is still mourning his mentions that are undoubtedly resting in peace after he tried to get a laugh at the expense of 76 dead athletes while their bodies were still warm. He lost something too, ya know? His credibility as a "comedian" just got put in a pine box by the decidedly negative response to a joke that attempted to make light of soccer players' tendency to flop and beg for calls by comparing it to...barely surviving a kamikaze-esque plunge into a hillside from thousands of feet in the sky and screaming for help...or something like that? Either way, how was he supposed to realise (sp?) the gravity (no pun intended) of a plane crash? Probably just thought that Chapecoense's jetliner bended it's fender on the side of a mountain or something. How could he possibly have guesstimated the damage done by an enclosed steel tube rocketing into the ground at a ridiculously high rate of speed? Excuse him for being optimistic and assuming that the unplanned grounding of a flight carrying a full international futbol club wasn't fatal enough for him to click the safety on his twitter fingers prior to doing a simple 'Google' search. Geez, kill the guy for keeping the positive vibes alive, why don't ya? He's just trying to make his followers smile through some tragic news by reminding them that - apparently - you don't need to be particularly witty, clever, or attentive to pursue a career in comedy. Thoughts and prayers to the loved ones of those that lost their lives in the crash below, but these ridiculously unfunny, disjointed analogies aren't going to tweet themselves...  A Colorado Player Was Arrested For Cocaine Possession After His Teammate Knocked Him Out Cold11/29/2016  DenverPost- Abdul Jaleel Awini, a 23-year-old who has played several positions on the football team, was arrested on an allegation of drug possession. Christopher Hill, a 21-year-old tight end, was cited with third-degree assault in the altercation. The Daily Camera in Boulder first reported about the altercation and the arrests on Monday.
Investigators say the ordeal began when Awini was was escorted out of The Walrus Saloon because of his “intoxication level.” A Boulder police filing says Awini was with Hill at the watering hole, and that he blamed Hill for being kicked out. “I’m going to (expletive) you up,” Awini allegedly told Hill, according to the police report. “You got me kicked out.” Hill then punched Awini in the chin, the police report says, citing a witness’ account of the fight. Awini appeared to be unconscious and landed squarely on the back of his head on the concrete sidewalk. When police arrived, Awini was “unresponsive” and an officer pulled a wallet out of Awini’s front pocket, the report says. Inside was a small Ziploc bag that the officer believed to be holding cocaine, according to investigators. Police say they later found four more small Ziploc bags in the wallet which appeared to contain the same white powdery substance that was in the first bag. Awini was taken to Boulder Community Health for treatment and when the wallet was brought up in a conversation with police, the report says Awini’s blood pressure and heart rate — which were being monitored by medical equipment — “almost immediately went up.” Awini asked an officer what charges he was facing, telling an officer, “you know I got some (expletive) in my wallet,” the report says. You know whose fault it is that Abdul Jaleel Awini is facing charges for the possession of cocaine? His teammates, and I'm not just talking about the one that left him laying immobile on the ground with a checked chin and a veritable snow bank in his wallet. In fact, I don't even want to criticize Christopher Hill for knocking his wide receiver's drunk ass into a hospital bed. By all accounts, the guy who was on the ass end of a missed opportunity for a 'World Star' video had it coming. The belligerent dude that's out there getting kicked out of bars then immediately blaming others for it can't be trusted, and that's why it was irresponsible for his fellow Buffs to trust him with the holding of their drugs. I don't want to go pointing fingers but those FIVE bags of blow were undoubtedly going to be shared with others, and - considering his team had just locked up a spot in the Pac-12 championship game - I have reason to believe that there were some scholarship athletes awaiting the next rail line. At the risk of giving the football player whose pocket was a deviated septum waiting to happen a pass, I'm going to have to say that someone else should have stepped up and made sure the friend that can't handle his liquor wasn't in charge of the rest of the night's festivities. I would think that a team that had achieved so much to this point would have been better at determining each other's strengths and weaknesses, and keeping the stash in a safe place is not the job for a contentious lush. 
"They tell you it's a business. Well I guess I have to turn into a businessman? #shootyourarrows" Don't do it Brandin. Trust me when I say that it's not in your best interest. There are far worst places to be than on pace for a 1,000 yards and double digit touchdowns as the secondary receiver in a pass happy offense led by a future 'Hall Of Fame' quarterback. I would imagine it sucks to not get a single target in a game in which your team put 49(!) points, but now is not the time to become a high maintenance diva. Not only because Drew Brees has never shown a bias in getting the ball to whoever is open, but also because you are not nearly good enough to start whining about your involvement in an offense that's always made the players who play in it better. That's not to say Brandin Cooks isn't an excellent wide receiver, but it is to say that he's not some transcendent talent that can get away with bitching every time he's not a focal point. I wouldn't go as far as saying this is a T.O.-esque move from someone that's undoubtedly not a pass catcher of T.O.'s caliber, but selfishly bitching about the ever present business-side of football is not a good look when you play in a system that requires selflessness. The money will work itself when it has to, but mid-season while his unit is firing on all cylinders is undoubtedly not that time. The fact of the matter is that Michael Thomas is going to end up being - if he's not already - the Saints #1 receiver. He simply brings the size, strength, and ability to fight for the football and break tackles that Brandin Cooks hasn't proven he possesses. Personally, I don't think it's a knock on a 5'10 player to say he's better suited to be a #2 wideout that can take the top off a defense and create mismatches with his speed. He might disagree, but if Sean Payton's history is any indication then I highly doubt he's putting up better stats in any other uniform so he might just want to appreciate the one he's in for the time being. Especially since it was his presence that allowed his teammates to carve up the Rams at will, even if - for one week - he didn't have the numbers to back it up.
I won't say that Klay Thompson staying late after a press conference to fold up his world famous paper airplane was a desperate plea for attention from someone that hasn't gotten very much this season. I really, really want to say that, and him shamelessly asking the media to get it on camera would back up that claim, but I won't. If we are being honest, it's likely because the video of him taking a sip of beer so obnoxious that Coors Light probably would have paid cold, hard cash for product re-placement proved that he's far less subtle when doing things primarily to get people talking. Regardless, I think we can all agree that the only instances in which Klay Thompson - a top 15 player in the NBA - has been appointment television this year is when he was drinking postgame suds and when he was auditioning to become the classroom equivalent of a 'Wright Brother'. That's not an critique of his play thus far or anything, it's just that he doesn't even have a spot on his own team's podium when it comes to entertainment value. The guy is arguable one of the top 5 shooters of all time and if the players on his team were ranked by importance he wouldn't even medal. Klay 'Honorable Mention' Thompson can't even say that he suffers from a suffer case of middle child syndrome, because that would imply that there are only two people on his roster that are more deserving of air-time. The fact that he's merely a role player isn't an indictment of his talent and it all-but-guarantees that the Warriors will be a more dangerous team going forward. That said, let's not pretend it's not having an effect on a proud player that never origami'd the stat sheet into a makeshift aircraft until he was scoring 20 PPG and getting little to no recognition for it. LawNewz-First Lady-elect Melania Trump has threatened to sue over a YouTube video accusing her son, Barron Trump, of being autistic. LawNewz.com has confirmed that she’s asked for the video to be removed and has demanded an apology from the person who posted it. The video, which has been viewed more than 3 million times, purports to raise awareness about autism, and claims that Barron exhibits some telltale signs. This law firm represents First Lady-elect Melania Trump and her 10-year-old son, Barron Trump. A video was posted at YouTube recently speculating that Barron might be autistic. He is not. The video includes the hashtag “StopTheBullying” but yet the video itself is bullying by making false statements and speculation about a 10-year old boy for the purpose of harassing him and his parents. The online bullying of children, including Barron Trump, should end now. The youtube poster, James Hunter, released a statement to our sister site, Gossip Cop, that said that he was on the autism spectrum himself, was trying to raise awareness and never meant to bully Barron. “I’m honestly kinda scared right now. The only reason I made the video is because I saw how much social media was bullying Barron Trump, and I wanted it to stop. I’d be really sad if I’ve made the situation worse, but I never could’ve imagined that the video would get so much press,” Hunter said. So, here's the thing. I'm pretty sure the person that made this video is 100% serious. I genuinely think that he just diagnosed Barron Trump as autistic by (over)analyzing the mannerisms of a 10 year old rich kid - that was raised by oblivious, self important assholes - through a television screen. I believe that the guy that went as far as to put together an entire #StopTheBullying campaign actually had good intentions when he decided to raise awareness of the ailments of a child who may or may not have said ailments. Now, he - like most YouTube conspiracy theorists - does make a pretty compelling case. That said - if given enough footage - I could probably splice together "evidence" of autism from any bored 4th grader looking unhappy while being forced by his parents to do shit that he doesn't want to do. The non-contact clapping thing was a tad weird, but if not wanting to be touched, acting anxious, rolling your eyes, and looking miserable are the telltale signs of autism then I was the most autistic kid at every single Sunday sermon I begrudgingly sat through. Quite frankly, I have no goddamn clue whether or not Barron Trump is a bit slow, but I do know that creating this pointed propaganda that outrageously labels him such and setting it to a Sarah McLachlan-esque instrumental is the meanest thing someone could do to someone who was. I'm not even kidding when I say this extensive video would make more sense if it were a super-elaborate attempt at a mocking the mental handicaps of the President-elect's son. The intent certainly wasn't to poke fun at someone potentially suffering from a non-curable disease, but this video zooming in on every abnormal eye movement and suspect social quirk could double as a roast of a kid who may be developmentally disabled. Hell, I would actually be impressed if this was nothing more than a socially acceptable attempt at teasing someone who is almost certain to grow into an insufferable brat considering his lineage. However, as it stands it's just a desperate plea to stop being mean to a kid....made by a stranger who all-but-proclaimed that said kid has special needs. Surely that will go over swimmingly in whatever overpriced classroom full of egotistical narcissists Barron Trump spends his days twitching in.  The NFL Finally Disputed A Claim In A Timely Manner, And You'll Never Guess What It Was...11/29/2016 
Think about this for a second. The NFL has always treated organizational epidemics that should be detrimental to their brand the same way you or I treat phone calls from numbers that aren't in our contact list. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Domestic abuse by professional athletes has been prevalent for decades and the NFL basically gave it the 'fuck you' button until a star running back went full "WorldStar" and knocked his wife into next Tuesday on camera in the least private place in all the land. It took watching a grown man drag an unconscious woman around a casino floor for them to finally acknowledge that the repeated beatings of wives and girlfriends was something that needed to be addressed. There has been more than a handful of former players that attended their own funeral before they even experienced a mid-life crisis. I mean, the lives of so many former NFLers have been prematurely taken by CTE that a factual feature film featuring Will Smith and Alec Baldwin was released to draw attention to how much of a problem concussions are, and some NFL executives are still hesitant to admit that long term brain injuries are a thing that exists. They face backlash for outlawing celebrations? The blindly outlaw more celebrations. They face criticism for fining players that slightly alter their uniforms to raise awareness for commendable causes? They increase the amount of the forfeiture. People aren't forever shaking their head at Roger Goodell because a league that promotes excessive violence has it's issues, their forever shaking their head at Roger Goodell because they refuse to answer to those issues. Meanwhile, one source merely suggests that the NFL may potentially think about discussing the idea of getting rid of their bullshit mid-week game that has proven to provide such shitty football that it's only worthy of a solid hate-watch if nothing else is on, and they have a denial ready within hours. I imagine that someone in NFL HQ read the ProFootballTalk article and immediately pulled the alarm summoning everyone to the panic room. I picture the entirety of the NFL office carefully crafting every word of an official statement in order to assure fans that the one game a week that they genuinely don't care about isn't going anywhere. Nothing speaks to the league's overall disconnect with the vast majority of society like holding an emergency meeting to do "damage control" on a rumor that most casual viewers would welcome with open arms. 
LBS- After jawing at each other for 60 minutes during the Dallas Cowboys’ win over the Washington Redskins, Bryant and Norman had a confrontation following the game. Norman claimed the scuffle started over Bryant saying, “Where I’m from, we unload the clip,” which many assumed was a violent threat. But on Monday, Norman said Bryant did not actually use that phrase.
According to Master Tesfatsion of the Washington Post, Norman clarified that he was using the phrase himself to describe leaving it all out on the field. He added that he does not want to talk about the beef anymore. “Can’t get into it man,” Norman said. “Can’t get into it. Everybody wanna go against me for some reason. I don’t know. At the end of the day, that was then. This is now. It is what it is.” Wait...this whole time everyone thought that Josh Norman was referring to Dez Bryant threatening him with a gun when he publicly put the use of a phrase that's used almost exclusively to describe the excessive use of a firearm in his mouth? HA! What could have possibly given them that idea?!? Come on guys, use some context clues. It's pretty damn obvious he was talking about himself feeling exasperated following a hard fought game against a divisional opponent in which he went head-to-head with a brash, talented wide receiver. Seriously, what's more relatable to the general public then referring to your proverbial "bag of tricks" as a deadly weapon? "Up your sleeve" is the most played idiom in the book, why not switch it up and go with something more along the lines of "packed in the chamber" instead? Of course Josh Norman wasn't talking about taking live bullets from one of the most volatile wideouts in league. It couldn't possibly be clearer that he was just talking about shooting his mouth off at said wideout from across the line of scrimmage. I can't believe old, out-of-touch white guys asking repetitive, rudimentary questions couldn't process his mumbled analogy during the four whole days he gave them to do so prior to clarifying what he actually meant! God, it's not his fault that a bunch of reporters - as well as the overwhelming majority of fans and analysts - couldn't piece together the meaning of an expression that is often applied in creatively conveying that someone did everything in their power to gain a competitive edge over their opposition while playing a sport. "Unload the clips" and "leave it all on the field". You guys don't see how those two common figure of speeches are basically interchangeable? You're just going to "go against" Josh Norman because you were too stupid to understand such a relatable comparison? Grow up. Washington doesn't need their money back. They just need to hire a full-time translator for all you simpletons that can't wrap your mind around an ammunition metaphor when it's used within the framework of sports. If everyone had a better grasp of the English language like Josh Norman (when he's not accidentally talking about fucking farm animals) then silly, little implications of potential homicide like this would no longer be a concern. Liberty Hired Baylor's Disgraced AD, But Their Biggest Mistake Was Referencing Baylor's Success11/28/2016 
Best (still not good) Answer: "You look at what Ian McCaw has been able to do throughout his career, it fits perfectly with where we see our sports programs going. It's an exciting time for us." Bad Answer: "You look at what the university that created a culture that enabled and excused repeated sexual assault in order to win collegiate sporting events was able to do, and the person responsible for condoning those morally corrupt priorities fits perfectly with where we see ourselves headed. This is an exciting time for us." Jesus Christ, how are people in authoritative positions this stupid? I understand Liberty's decision to hire an ethically vacant asshole that transformed a private school in the middle of "the bed of my truck is my gun rack", Texas into a national multi-sport contender by ignoring a comical amount of crimes committed by his players. College sports is about money and winning makes more of it. Regardless of the crooked nature of his career, Ian McCaw has proven he can turn around a largely irrelevant program and that is exactly what Liberty happens to be at the moment. Personally? I wouldn't hire the cocksucker, but I'm also not on the outside looking in at a bottomless pool filled with billions of dollars that I'm only a couple of successful seasons away from being granted access to. If Liberty felt they needed to bring someone on board that will have all the time in the world to cover up 5-star felonies because he hasn't even taken a second to schedule a dental visit since 1992 then that's their prerogative. However, what they definitively shouldn't have done is referenced the institution whose reputation he just got done soiling for the foreseeable future. The amount of people that know about the horrific transgressions of Baylor puts to shame the number of people that know the name of the villainous looking motherfucker that allowed them to take place. Willingly associating the two was basically the equivalent of buying a t-shirt that supports the disgraced coach of a football team that turned their campus into some 3rd world wasteland where women have more vaginas than rights. Despite The Awkward Confrontation, It Looks Like Kirk Cousins Will Get The Franchise Tag Again11/28/2016 
LBS- The Washington Redskins and Kirk Cousins remain unable to come to an agreement on a long-term contract extension, and it is starting to sound like it may stay that way through the 2017 season.
According to Bleacher Report’s Jason Cole, the Redskins are “likely” to franchise tag Cousins again this upcoming offseason. The number for franchise tagging a quarterback is expected to be around $25 million for 2017, so Cousins will be one of the top-paid players at his position. However, he would obviously prefer more guaranteed money and long-term security. As Cole notes, Derek Carr and Matthew Stafford are entering the final years of their contracts with the Oakland Raiders and Detroit Lions, respectively. Cousins may be hesitant to agree to a deal with Washington before he sees what Carr and Stafford are going to be paid, and there have been rumblings that Stafford is asking for a lot. Question: Answer (apparently): "Just enough to keep you around for a wee bit longer to see if you can keep up your stellar play so we don't fuck ourselves financially for the next 5 years." So showing up the person who orchestrates the signing of your checks doesn't make that person want to commit to orchestrating the signing those checks for a longer period of time? Huh, who knew!? I would have thought muffling his own General Manager's hair in front of a camera would all but guaranteed Kirk Cousins a long term deal. I'm surprised Scot McCloughan didn't go to bat to get him an ownership stake in the franchise before he even busted out his comb and fixed his appearance that was rustled by a player who was clearly trying to assert dominance over a person in a position of power. Really can't believe that the Redskins are still going to bide their time and use the tools at their disposal to avoid making a monster monetary commitment to a position that is currently crippling more than a handful of NFL rosters. Especially after the person whose financial stability is in a continuous state of (relative) flux has shown he has no problem publicly calling attention to it. 
Welp, clearly Taylor Hall hasn't gotten accustomed to how things work in New Jersey quite yet. I know, I know. It felt like he was a seamless fit within the culture that the organization has been trying to develop, but returning from an injury ahead of schedule goes against everything that this franchise has stood for over the years. Who does he think is he shortening a 3-4 week diagnosis into 2.5 week diagnosis? Doesn't he know that day-to-day is supposed to mean week-to-week, and week-to-week is supposed to mean month-to-month? I mean, we didn't even get to make a "status quo" joke yet! Here I was thinking that the guy was looking for a fresh start in a new city. Meanwhile, we're barely 20 games into his first season here and he's already attempting to break the unspoken rules of recovery? The Devils should really try to get a feel for how the locker room feels about his return before penciling him into the lineup, because a quick look at recent history shows that none of them were allowed to hit the ice prior to their respective due dates. Wouldn't want to body shame his new teammates whose "lower body injuries" weren't able to heal quicker than expected. I guess I shouldn't start counting chickens before a definitive plan for his return has been hatched. Taylor Hall will be missing for at least one more game and it could be as many as two or three. That said, the Devils handled his absence about as well as they could have hoped for. Their 2-3-2 record without him thus far doesn't look nearly as bad as they have on the ice the last week, but at the end of the day those points will matter more than their performance. If adding their most consistent playmaker back to the top of the lineup doesn't help them regain the form they were in prior to his injury then there's definitely cause for concern. However, they needed to stay afloat while he was on the shelf and - as close as they were to drowning at times - they treaded just enough water to continue smooth sailing once the engine behind their entire offense is officially up and running. Let's hope that's sooner rather than later because this optimistic tone might die a painful death if Winnipeg pumps 50 shots on net tomorrow net. Did Terrelle Pryor Take The High Road Or Is Janoris Jenkins Literally Too Stupid To Trash Talk?11/28/2016 
Okay Janoris, here's how hashtags work. Ready? #ZoneCoverage
In all seriousness, there's a few things that I learned from this completely meaningless online interaction between professional athletes. For one, apparently there is a Mr. Clampz 1.0? Really have to wonder how that guy managed to fly under the radar before his new, "improved"(?) installment came in from the clouds and posted a bunch of mindless drivel on social media. More importantly, I was unaware that there are grown adults that are unapologetically childish enough to go around calling other grown adults "shit eaters" in public, but conscientious enough to censor themselves while doing so. Before this series of tweets that looks more like a series of misguided drunk texts I had no reason to question the cognitive abilities of Janoris Jenkins, but he just became the league's biggest anomaly to me. That's why I just can't praise Terrelle Pryor for taking the high road here. I can't imagine that a kid who started as a quarterback and was humble enough to transition to wide receiver in hopes of prolonging his career isn't a courteous human being, but he really had no choice but to be in this scenario. Attempting to bicker with someone as unintelligible as Janoris Jenkins would have been a fruitless endeavor. Everyone knows it's impossible to beat stupid in an argument. Those invisible and floating hashtags might as well have been egg avatars or 'Make America Great Again' hats, because they were a surefire sign that the person behind them wasn't concerned with logic. If "u really sucks" wasn't proof of then his flat out dismissal of statistics certainly was. Doesn't even matter how many of Pryor's yards came in zone coverage or against someone other than Jenkins, because the person insulting opponents in broken English had enough problems of his own keeping up with players lesser than the target of his ire. Pryor was so far superior to Jenkins yesterday that the latter's inability to see that acted as caution tape that prevented the former from accidentally stooping to his level...
Now that's how you get the most out of a game winning kick. I suppose that safely booting a field goal directly through the middle of the uprights to end overtime would have had a similar effect on the standings. However, can you really say it would have given Chiefs players, staff, and fans the same level of euphoria as clunking one off the goalpost and making them think they had just witnessed a completely avoidable tie against a division rival on the road? In terms of elation and depression, nothing delivers quite like waiting on a referee's gesture to determine an official victor. If Cairo Santos was looking to give one fanbase the highest of highs and another the lowest of lows then his near-tragic miss was an undeniable success. His holder may have temporarily witnessed his job security flash before his eyes, but I'll be damned if that one second of impending doom didn't have his smile shining a little bit brighter when he learned of the actual result. Surely there's at least one Kansas City native out here that developed a severe heart problem during that re-direction, but who are we to question how a man gets the job done given the current state of field goal kicking in the NFL? They never congratulate you for missing pretty kicks, so why wouldn't Cairo Santos fully celebrate making an ugly one? |
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