Yahoo- Police arrested UCLA cornerback Ishmael Adams for allegedly stealing an Uber driver’s cell phone outside of UCPD headquarters on campus early Sunday.
Adams, a redshirt junior on the UCLA football team, was arrested about 3:30 a.m. near the Facilities Management building in central campus about a block away from the reported robbery, according to police logs. His bail was set at $100,000.
Adams was arrested about 12 minutes after the driver called police and reported the robbery. The driver also reported apparent minor injuries, police said.
Here's what I have to say about Ishmael Adams. The guy is clearly a next level thinker. Well, in the interest of the truth he's 'allegedly' a next level thinker. Unfortunately for him, that second level of thinking wasn't the highest level. He's really more a middle of the pack type thinker now that I think about it. Ishmael Adams isn't dumb, he's just not very smart either. For instance, a dumb person would try to rob an Uber driver for money not realizing that the his name and credit card information are in the app and easily traceable once the driver called the cops. On the other hand, a smart person would realize that there really isn't a good way to steal from a person that is taking you where you want to go for a relatively affordable price, and has the entire trip recorded in a third parties database. A average thief, like Ishmael Adams, would steal the phone because how can you call someone for help without a phone? Okay fine, that's the thought process of dumb person too, but hey, at least I can tell he thought about it a little bit before he did it. It's like when you are asked to show your work in middle school math. You might fail, but at least you can get a point or two for looking like you tried.
As a fellow Uber driver, who has had quite a few characters inhabiting my backseat, I have given these types of situations a lot of thought. By 'a lot' i really just mean 'obviously more than Ishmael'. I have come to the conclusion that the only bad thing that can really happen to me is death. Whatever, pretty sure if you die getting someone where they want to go in a timely manner you get a FastPass to the front of the line at the pearly gates. Anyway, everything else would just be in inconvenience. Steal my shit? Puke in my car? Try to fight me? All it takes is one little ring to the Uber God, wherever he may be, patrolling the mean streets of everywhere via some super intricate control room. I guess what I am trying to say is that if you want to be a dickhead, or a criminal, or both, just take a taxi. They are the real crooks anyway.
They're always watching Ishmael, they're always watching...
Can't we just have football? I'm serious. I know that football players are more prone to detrimental head injuries. You know that football players are more prone to detrimental head injuries. However, can't we just accept that as an occupational hazard for people that get paid millions of dollars to play a game. I don't want to downplay this. I think the NFL needs to do a better job of taking care of it's athletes after their playing days are over, but at the end of the day, football is still football. It doesn't matter how many different rules that you change, it's still going to be extremely dangerous. It doesn't matter how bad it could be for the long term, or short term, health of it's participants, it's never going to seize to exist.
So do we have to put out a movie that focuses only on the negatives of one of the lone things that a majority of Americans can agree on. Who is even going to watch this movie? Certainly not football fans. We don't want to be tricked into thinking about CTE when my team is about to jam it down the other team's throat on 4th and 1. If the fullback has to put his head down and sacrifice a few brain cells for a 1st and Goal I don't want to be thinking about how that could effect him later in life. This would be like creating a porn movie that's made up entirely of director's cuts. No one wants to see a dude's ball banging against a girl's ass just like no one wants a sneak peak into the at-risk brains of professional athletes. Both of those films are aimed at ruining a great thing. Is it too much to ask that all our sports moves feature a complete underdog that somehow prevails in the end and lets us all walk out of the theatre with a smile on our face? With the increasing amount of negativity in this world can't we just enjoy our Sundays without Will Smith telling me that some linebacker is three hits away from not remembering his kid's names. That's like a Sarah McLachlin animal cruelty PSA popping up during a commercial break of 'SuperBad'. It's not going to kill my vibe, but it's definitely going to put a sizable dent in it.
You know why Will Smith has a foreign accent in this movie? Because no one would believe that any real American would speak out against a league that makes you forget, at least for the time being, that every Sunday in the Fall and Winter are followed by a Monday . "You're trying to go to war with a corporation that owns a day of the week" couldn't be anymore spot on. It also compares favorably to this movie whose plot goes to war with a vast majority of it's potential consumers. The fact this is based on a true story and drops right before the NFL postseason just makes me hate this movie, that I refuse to watch, even more. Hey Will Smith, how about you put aside this script and go focus on things that are even more detrimental to society, like your dickhead children.
Source- While Virginia Tech on Thursday discontinued one system of fining its football players and denounced another, Cincinnati is embracing a similar concept.
A day after Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster commented that players' newly acquired benefit of a cost-of-attendance stipend could be subject to fines from the coaching staff, VT athletic director Whit Babcock said not only that the Hokies' coaching staff would do no such thing, but that a current practice of fining players by deducting from players' bowl-game stipends would end as well.
Babcock told The Roanoke Times he met with coach Frank Beamer and Foster and ended the possibility of the cost-of-attendance fines.
"... that was Bud speaking alone and proposing something," Babcock said in part. "But nobody had gotten fined under the new system and we squashed it."
Cincinnati coach Tommy Tuberville takes a contrasting view. While the Bearcats' coach doesn't plan to fine his players, he is considering a withholding of cost-of-attendance stipend funds for violations of various kinds, according to ESPN.com.
Can we agree to put down the lit torches and pitchforks for this one? You don't have to agree with fining players that already get very little reimbursement for making college athletics a billion dollar business. In fact, you shouldn't agree with it. It's actually insane to agree that players that are given the most minimal of living expenses should have to worry about getting it taken away for showing up late to study hall. However, if you are going to institute a system of monetary penalties I think we can all agree that Cincinnati picked the perfect time to do so. Hell, I almost missed it completely. Virginia Tech has already rebuked installing any such system, yet they will forever be known as the school that started this absurd form of discipline. Meanwhile, Cincinnati has no plans to stop taking their players money, but no even realizes that because they are still focusing on how ridiculous Virginia Tech's list of finable offenses happens to be.
Let that be a lesson to everyone. If you are going to do something that nearly everyone is going to disagree with, just make sure you are the second person to do it. That way everyone unleashes all of their outrage on the first party, and has none left for you. By the time people found out that Cincinnati has a reprehensible football program, every one had already chastised the the idea of fines while dragging Virginia Tech's name through the mud in the process. They aren't going to go back and discuss it AGAIN, just to make sure people know Tommy Tuberville is an idiot too. Also, it doesn't hurt if their is visual evidence surrounding the first person to do it, and all you have is words taken from an interview that took place when everyone was distracted by a laminated list of stupidity. Trust Ray Rice on this one, it's always worse when we can actually see it with our own two eyes. Just ask Cincinnati. The school that managed to fly under the radar while every media outlet in America was kicking Virginia Tech right in the dick. No words, no matter how detrimental, can take the focus off of an entire menu of transgressions that most college kids commit on a weekly, if not daily, basis...
Yardbarker- In Saturday’s Week 3 preseason game against the Minnesota Vikings, McFadden, who started behind Joseph Randle, carried the ball four times for a total of 37 rushing yards.
In the best rushing play of the game, McFadden took a handoff and extended the play by making two sharp cuts which drove the Cowboys to a first and goal. McFadden also had an explosive 13-yard gain in the second quarter.
For this, Jones seems to be thrilled with the 28 year old back:
“I think that what you saw was vintage McFadden,” Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said after the game, per the Dallas Morning News. “You saw that acceleration. You saw his abilities.”
Correct me if I am wrong here, but vintage is just a word that we use to describe things that used to be awesome, right? If that's the case then Jerry Jones is spot on, but I can't help but think he doesn't really know what he's saying. Ehh, that old bastard has a lot on his plate, I suppose I can forgive him for his less than formidable word choice. Regardless, if I am Jerry Jones I am going to hold off on waxing poetic about the abilities of Darren McFadden when the last time he flashed his full arsenal of those abilities was in 2007, and happened against vastly inferior competition. If Jerry wants to look back at the college highlights I can't blame him, because at this point in time that's the only place 'vintage Darren McFadden' actually exists. The NFL version of Darren McFadden is one that can't stay on the field, and is incredibly underwhelming even when he does. Vintage Darren McFadden would put a shoulder into current Darren McFadden and laugh at him as he ran by. Vintage Darren McFadden was responsible for 50+ touchdowns in three years at Arkansas, not celebrating 37 yards in a preseason game. If an aberration of a couple impressive runs against a second string defense is now considered vintage Darren McFadden then that antique is getting returned to the boutique shop sooner rather than later. Jerry can talk about his acceleration all he wants, but Darren McFadden's speed has never been an issue. He has always been the fastest player to the injury list, and call it a gut feeling, but I don't see that changing any time soon.
Texas A&M Coach Kevin Sumlin Accidentally Made A Joke On Twitter About Steve Sarkisian Being A Drunk
Okay, so maybe "accidentally" is the wrong word. He absolutely intended to make a joke at the expense of one of his college football peers. He just meant to send it to A person instead of ALL the people. Pretty simple mistake. I would go as far as saying that if Kevin Sumlin is guilty of anything it's being an old guy that misuses social media. For anyone that has parents on Facebook, they certainly know how that story ends.
Regardless, I am not going to sit here and say that Sumlin was wrong for making sport of Sarkisian. When you get drunk and do stupid shit you allow people to develop inside jokes about you. That's just how life works. I had a tendency to get too drunk and pass out at bars. You think I started whining when that became known as "pulling a Bob" or when a select few began to call me "Sleepy"? Nope. You want to pop a bunch of pills and wash them down with a little too much liquor then everyone is allowed to make fun of you when you start acting like a jackass. I don't know if Steve Sarkisian has a legitimate alcohol problem or not, but even if he does, this tweet isn't in poor taste. Alcoholism is just one of those diseases that people feel okay laughing at. That's probably because a large majority of us have had it, to varying degrees of course. It's like a black guy laughing at a black joke as long as a black guy tells it. I won't laugh at a heroine addiction because I've never been addicted to heroine. I have, however, been a borderline alcoholic so belligerent drunks will always be worth a laugh.
I've had a little too much to drink from time to time. You've had a little too much to drink from time to time. Just because Steve Sarkisian has no will power and the increments between those times are increasingly smaller doesn't mean that I have to bite my tongue when someone gets clever with his name on social media. If we are being honest, I would say about 30% of nicknames are developed based on how someone acts when they are fucked up, and all things considered, 'Sark After Dark' is a pretty sweet catchphrase. If this whole sobriety thing doesn't work out it could make a hell of a name for a sequel to Dave Attell's 'Insomniac' after he gets canned at USC.
See, this? This is what I need to see. The members of Rutgers football ignoring all the outside forces that are trying to pull apart the program to focus on team building. Having a little fun to wind down camp, and keeping spirits high headed into a game week.
As for the results...
Well, I can't say I agree with Giovanni Rescigno getting the nod in round one. He basically was just given a victory for being excessively white. If there were any integrity to this contest than whatever super human move Isaiah Wharton did would have taken the crown for his squad.
Second round was a wash. Nothing of substance. Come on guys, there's first dibs on ice cream on the line. Is dancing like your feet are on fire, instead of dancing like you are in a club and have insecurity issues, too much to ask?
Third round is really all this competition was about. Just goes to show that they should have picked the 6 biggest guys on the team participate. Big men know how to move and even when they don't, if there is Mr. Softee on the line they will die trying. Got to agree with the winner. A fat guy doing the worm has no competition. Almost feel bad for Jacquis Webb. He had all the confidence in the world, but dude never stood a chance of defeating the truffle shuffle.
Hope they saved some of those moves for when they are dancing on Norfolk State's grave this Saturday...
Massuchusetts Teen Is Being Convicted Of Manslaughter For Urging Her Boyfriend To Kill Himself Through Text
Source- A Massachusetts teen accused of convincing her friend to commit suicide faces involuntary manslaughter charges after prosecutors say text messages show she was an accessory.
However, the defense argued Michelle Carter was also troubled and was just trying to help her boyfriend, Conrad Roy.
WCVB reported Carter and her parents, who were in court Monday, did not talk about the thousands of text messages between her and the deceased in July of 2014.
Carter is accused of coercing the 18-year-old him into suicide. In one text she said to Roy, "You said you were gonna do it. I don't get like why you aren't."
Additionally, Carter's attorney argued the texts she sent Roy are protected as free speech.
However, New Bedford Assistant District Attorney Katie Rayburn stated in court that Carter is an accessory because she texted Roy.
“One can be an aider and abettor or an accessory before the fact simply for words,” Rayburn said.
Prosecutors also said she stayed on the phone with Roy to ensure that he was dead.
Roy's family has since read every text.
“Her words are not protected, your honor. Her words are harmful, offensive and likely to cause an immediate, violent act,” Rayburn stated.
Sorry if this trivializes the suicide of a teenage boy, but the way I look at this story is that is a win-win. Conrad gets the premature death he so anxiously craved and this girl potentially gets sent to prison for 20 years. Like it or not, that was the inevitable conclusion for these two anyway. If you let a teenage girl talk you into suicide then you were going to take your life at some point, and if you listen to your boyfriend's death, to completion, over the phone then you are probably going to grow up to be a mass murderer. These two may have been each other's 'Kryptonite', but they were, at most, only '3 Doors Down' from their eventual fate even without dating each other.
Teenage girls are pretty much the suicide barometer. They are the first real test that shows whether or not you can adequately deal with problems. Who hasn't talked to a high school female and not thought about killing themselves? Granted, it was probably when they were asking you why it took more than 45 seconds to respond to their text message, and not describing, in detail, the best time of day to take your life, but they'll both make a teenage boy question his will to live. I was in a serious relationship in high school. My girlfriend never told me to kill myself, but there were definitely a few instances where she implied that I should. The fact that I didn't kick the chair over when she was interrogating me on bringing booze to her parents beach house is a testament to how non-suicidal I actually was. This is what teenage girls were put on the planet for. They are an evaluation. An evaluation of whether or not pubescent boys enjoy life enough to put up with their shit. An evaluation of whether or not their parents married the right person. An evaluation of each other's ability to maintain friendships. If there is a chink in the armor then those bratty little bitches will find it, and expose it. It's just what they do. Don't get me wrong, this girl deserves every second of the sentence she is given, but let's not act like the kid who let his girlfriend talk him off the plank of life had a long prosperous future in front of him.
You know, with all of the negativity surrounding the justice system in this country, it's a goddamn relief that they finally got one right. Hell, without their triumph we might have planted the death of an innocent 17 year old African American on the mentally unstable guy that was carrying a gun and pretending to be neighborhood watch. I think it's pretty clear at this point that that would have been a huge crime against humanity.
I mean, come on, George Zimmerman killing Trayvon Martin wasn't predicated on race. How could it be, does this look like a racist to you...
What was that? Oh, the confederate flag painting and twitter picture? Nah, he's just proud of his southern culture. Calling the first black President a babboon? I'm sure that was just a freudian slip. He really meant buffoon.That's just called being a Republican. Bragging about how it ended the last time he got in a fight? Sure, a kid died because of it, but I doubt that George Zimmerman has all that many fights to hang his hat on. He's not racist. He just happens to hold a lot of negative beliefs about all black people. That's totalllllly different.
Hey, so if we are going to keep doing this 'jury of your peers' thing and hoping it works out then maybe we can institute a retroactive period for obvious retrial? Most people are pretty dumb, so if you randomly select 12 of them from society you got pretty good odds of picking enough of them that can't see that this guy is a prejudice piece of shit. Being ruled not guilty shouldn't give you the right to just go out in public and imply that you were guilty at literally every turn. Although it is kind of ironic watching George Zimmerman get irrationally mad about senseless killings that were based skin color. Would almost be funny to me if there weren't a teenager rotting in a box because of his actions.
Shaun O'Hara Had Some Pointed Words For How Rutgers Higher-Up's Have Handled The Kyle Flood Investigation
Listen, I respect Shaun O'Hara standing up for Kyle Flood when a majority of the people whose opinions matter have remained mum on the subject. At the same time, I think the last thing this university needs right now is more controversy. Especially controversy that stems from a former student athlete, with a large social platform, calling out the people that ultimately make the decisions at Rutgers. Yes, it's nice to have Kyle Flood's integrity spoken for by a reliable source. However, I can't help but think this is just one of those situations where it's better to ignore the pessimism and let this petty "investigation" die out on it's own. No matter how many times the Star Ledger attempts to play it up as some sort of scandal it's not going to alter my view that a head coach innocently emailing an athlete's professor isn't a big deal. However, people see this story run in a major publication enough times they might just let themselves be influenced otherwise.
Let's take a look at what Shaun O'Hara accomplished with that tweet. He called the President of the University spineless. While he's not wrong, anyone that was paying attention already knew that Robert Barchi didn't have a backbone. That was evident when he let former AD Tim Pernetti take the fall for the infamous video of Mike Rice's "unique" coaching habits. A video of which he was well aware. He also implied that the current athletic director is too scared to speak up. If there is anything I know about Julie Hermann it's that she speaks her mind, even if what's on it doesn't exactly paint her, or the University, in the best light. In my opinion, her lack of a statement on the subject really speaks to how much of a non-story it is. The news of the email was broken, Kyle Flood released a statement pretty much just acknowledging the silliness of the whole thing, and I haven't heard a peep of negativity surrounding it since. If I had to guess, I would say that Hermann silence was more about letting sleeping dogs lie. A strategy that Shaun O'Hara indirectly opposed when he clicked send on this tweet. I appreciate his intentions, but showing an inter-university disconnect and giving the Star Ledger yet another reason to speak ill of Rutgers probably wasn't the best way to handle his frustrations. Even if everyone with half a brain knows that this entire "investigation" is at best a joke, and at worst a witch hunt.
Him? Oh, don't worry about him. That's just Thomas Morstead, our Pro Bowl punter. Yeah, you know the guy on the football team that plays the least and watches this team from up close the most. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that his seafood wasn't undercooked last night, he just doesn't have the stomach for whatever brand of football the Saints were playing today. It appears last season didn't strengthen his immune system like it did mine. Either that or I was just privy to enough alcohol abuse to wash away that watery, acidic taste you get right before you end up bent over a garbage can.
Disclaimer: I know it's preseason football. With that said, if we weren't allowed to make premature judgements based on next to nothing then NFL players wouldn't have jobs when they retire (looking at you Troy Aikman), so I think I can let my 'voice' be heard too.
Seeing as meaningful football hasn't begun yet, I will do my best to remain optimistic. Let's start with positives. Drew Brees is still Drew Brees, and I'll have to double check the injury report, but I am pretty sure none of our players died. Good, glad that's out of way.
Now on to the negatives You know, like everything else. The defense looked pretty putrid. Once again, it was missing the vast majority of it's starting secondary. However, it doesn't lead that excuse much credence when the person getting burned for the majority of the first drive was the lone member of said starting secondary playing. The interior of the defense provided about as much resistance as a dead hooker, but hey, they got their first sack today so at least there's that I suppose. I still think when this defense is full strength it should prove to at least be a decent, middle of the pack unit. That would pretty much make them the '85 Bears in comparison to last year.
The offense, with Drew Brees at the helm and a rebuilt offensive line in front of him will surprise a lot of people. A lot of people that apparently didn't realize that Drew Brees has been turning nobodies into viable NFL receivers since far before Jimmy Graham came to town. Let's hope he still has a little bit of that magic in him, because the wide receiver depth behind Cooks, Colston, and an upstart Willie Snead makes a baby pool look like the Atlantic Ocean. I want to have faith in Brandon Coleman. I really do. Except I have been watching him since his days at Rutgers, and whatever the Saints brass has seen during practice is what I have been begging to see from Coleman on game day since I was in college. Let's just say you can count me as skeptic.
I'm not saying the Saints are going to have a second consecutive bad season, I am just saying I am not as confident now as I was after their second preseason game. There just wasn't all that much to like about today's performance. Don't believe me, just ask Thomas Morstead. Whatever, at least Sean Payton's tribute to the victims of Hurricane Katrina and the city of New Orleans made me smile, because the football certainly didn't.
The Smoking Gun- A Georgia man is facing several criminal charges after his dog tested positive for methamphetamine, police report.
According to cops, Marty Allen Rogers, 47, last week brought his terrier mix to an animal hospital for treatment. The dog, named “Little Guy,” was “extremely nervous and constantly paces and panting and restless,”veterinarian Kevin Chapman told investigators.
Chapman told police that “Little Guy” subsequently “tested positive for Methamphetamine.”Investigators believe that the dog--which was turned over to an animal control officer--ingested the drug at Rogers’s residence in Talmo, a town about 30 miles from Athens.
Rogers, pictured above, was initially charged with cruelty to animals. But when cops went to his home to serve an arrest warrant, they discovered meth and a stolen motorcycle at the residence. As a result, he was hit with narcotics possession and theft by receiving stolen property counts.
“Little Guy,” who has recovered from the meth exposure, is in an animal shelter and will soon be placed up for adoption.
Rogers, who is not in jail, was arrested last year after he was pulled over for reckless driving. A search of the vehicle turned up meth and a handgun. Rogers was charged with possession of methamphetamine with intent to distribute, possession of a firearm during a crime, and reckless driving.
Okay, so first of all, fuck the toxicology report. The veterinarian should have called the cops when this dude introduced his dog as 'Little Guy'. There's no surer sign of a man that has no time for anything else other than drug use than a dog whose name is basically a pronoun.
Here's the thing, we have all been in a similar position to this dude, and I say that under the assumption that you guys aren't meth heads either. Everyone has experienced a point in their drinking career where they were the sober one. Whether that was because you were the designated driver (Ha! Yeah right), or you had something important to do in the morning (more likely), or you implemented some self imposed drinking sabbatical to prove to yourself that you weren't a complete alcoholic (most likely). There was a point where you witnessed all your friends behaving like buffoons and said, "is that what I look like?!?". I think I speak for everyone when I say that it's a real game changer. Really makes you think about whether you should have that last shot, even though the next time you're in that situation you inevitably will anyway, it still makes you question whether you should. Well, meth heads rarely get that chance. If you're a meth addict I have a hard time believing you have ever been around someone else that was high on meth when you weren't high on meth. That means you have no idea how the drug makes you act. If you needed evidence, Marty Allen Rogers just provided you with it. He was so clueless towards the habits of a meth abuser that he saw his dog acting like one and instantly rushed him to the vet. You know how strange a dog has to be acting for you not to just play it off as "a dog being a dog"? If that lack of awareness doesn't change his view on substance abuse than nothing will.
Now, I don't advocate potentially risking your dog's heath by leaving loose drugs around the house, but now that 'Little Guy' has recovered, I think we can admit that there were some positives to come out of this story. First of all, Marty's dog just learned not to slurp up the crystals that are undoubtedly scattered around the floor of the house. Second of all, Marty learned that he looks like an asshole when he's high. That's what I call a win-win! Maybe, just maybe, this gives him some perspective on how much he's fucking up this whole life thing. There's about a 9,000% it doesn't, but hey, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I doubt Marty graduated form the D.A.R.E. program. Sometimes the next best way to learn that drugs are bad is to get an animal really fucked up and try to interact with it. Especially if that animal is a dog that has unquestionably eaten far worse shit than a helping or two of methamphetamines.
Drew Brees Walking Home, Pads In Hand, With Fans After Practice Is Sooo 'New Orleans' I Can't Even Stand It
NOLA- After the New Orleans Saints completed their practice Friday at Yulman Stadium, quarterback Drew Brees stuck around to sign autographs and snap selfies with fans.
And when he was done, he picked up his gear and walked to his Uptown home.
That's Drew Brees. Just a regular guy walking home from work.
This day and age you really got to wonder if Drew Brees has a skeleton or two in his closet. Seriously, how could one man be so perfect? Do you see that picture? It's like straight-out of 'Friday Night Lights'. It's like the feel good, fade to black moment of every sports movie ever fucking made except you couldn't possibly script a better representative for the New Orleans Saints than Drew Brees. You couldn't even dream up a better ambassador for a franchise and a city. He's like the quarterback version of what JJ Watt is when cameras are around, except he's like that all the damn time. Most fans are constantly crossing their fingers that their favorite athletes don't do something stupid. Meanwhile, Drew Brees is walking home in the dark with fans like he's just got finished playing pickup ball in the park with his friends. It's not even fair. He's setting the bar so high for professional athletes that they'll need an Anthony Davis type vertical to even get within a finger's length. Hey Drew, calm down bro, one day, hopefully in the distant future, there's going to be a new quarterback for the New Orleans Saints and if he has any chance of living up your ridiculously high standards he'll have to descend from heaven. I made fun of Frank Gore for referring to Andrew Luck as a "football God", but I'll be damned if Drew Brees' actions, on and off the field, don't border on the supernatural.
Think about this. A decade ago New Orleans was under water. The owner was on the verge of uprooting the franchise. The starting quarterback, at the time, was months away from verbally trivializing the struggles caused by one of the world's biggest natural and man-made disasters. Ten short years later and their starting quarterback, who wasn't even part of the franchise during Hurricane Katrina, is thanking every one and their mother for their support. Just casually intermingling with his fans as they strut through the, now semi-restored, streets of New Orleans. It's crazy how much New Orleans, the Saints and Drew Brees needed each other, and it's unbelievable to see how airtight that bond has become. No party would have reached the level of success that they have without one another, and it's a blessing to see how much they appreciate each other for that. It's impossible to be less than optimistic going into a football season when you have the best fans in the world, from the best city in the world, with a quarterback that, to put it simply, just gets it. Drew Brees taking a nighttime stroll with his fans is an adorable snapshot, but it's really symbolic of so much more.
Chip Kelly Says The Sam Bradford Trade Is An Attempt To Emulate What The Saints Did In Acquiring Drew Brees
The Sporting News- But Chip Kelly doubled down on the Bradford decision by citing coach Nick Saban — he of four national championships at LSU and Alabama — and what many see as Saban's biggest mistake.
In 2006, in the midst of Saban's middling run as Dolphins coach, he had a chance to sign Drew Brees. Brees, common wisdom said, had a bum shoulder — the result of a 2005 tear of his labrum that led to Philip Rivers' ascension as Chargers quarterback. Saban passed. He chose Daunte Culpepper as his primary passer. And hindsight still mocks him.
Kelly suggests Bradford could see a similar career renaissance in a Fox Sports story. Kelly's contention: He didn't want to be the coach that feared injuries and feared the risk. He didn't want to be Saban.
"The impact Drew had on the Saints was really what we studied," Kelly told Fox Sports. "What would this league be like if Nick Saban had Drew Brees? Would Nick have ever gone back to Alabama?"
Alternate histories aside, Kelly feels that critics misrepresent Bradford's injury history as a chronic condition. He told Fox Sports: "It's not like it was 15, 20 years ago. I think the advances in all of medicine have really helped from an injury standpoint. I don't know if there's a way to prevent it. I also don't think this guy is more susceptible to it."
The Brees-Bradford comparison will draw raised eyebrows. But it might not be so outlandish.
Damn you Chip. You sly, calculated bastard. How can I criticize your offseason moves when the one that's worthy of the most criticism is one that was made in an attempt to mirror the success of the single greatest roster move in Saints history? I can't, that's how. After all, imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. It would be like if someone complimented my Sambas and I, in turn, smudged their Pumas. Say what you want about Chip Kelly, but the guy knows how to hush his critics. Especially his critics that happen to be a part of the Who Dat Nation. I'm trying to think rationally about the comparisons between the two quarterbacks, but I'm just sitting here distracted, running through the endless spank bank of memories that Brees has given Saints fans and the city of New Orleans. It's like trying to break up with a girl mid-blowjob. Stop tickling my balls Chip, I've got a trade to analyze.
Regardless, let's try to put some context to this. Being that we are now a decade removed from Hurricane Katrina, it would be disingenuous not to recognize that the union of Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints was unlike any other in NFL history. It wasn't just a franchise, and a city, taking a chance on quarterback coming off a serious shoulder surgery. It was also a quarterback taking a chance on a ravaged city and, what many thought to be, a depleted fanbase. Yeah, Nick Saban passing on Drew Brees was a huge mistake in retrospect, but at the time no one even gave it a second thought. The only reason the Saints didn't hesitate to bring Brees on board with a massive contract was because they desperately needed a quarterback. Even more so, they desperately needed a reason to get the city of New Orleans excited about football again. There was still a very good chance that Brees entire career would have been compromised by that injury, but with the franchise in disarray, it was a risk that had to be taken.
Chip Kelly's trade for Sam Bradford, while numbers wise seems pretty similar, doesn't have nearly the same circumstances surrounding it. For one, Drew Brees was the first and only option for New Orleans. The needed to rid themselves of Aaron Brooks following his harsh comments regarding the city, and Brees was the only quarterback that gave them the time of day in negotiations. On the other hand, the Sam Bradford trade was, to put simply, the Eagles way of setting a backup plan in motion. Make no mistake, Chip Kelly exhausted all options in his attempt to get Marcus Mariota even after that trade was made. Who can blame him? Drew Brees was coming off a freak shoulder injury that he incurred while trying to recover a meaningless fumble in a meaningless game. While that injury was certainly career threatening, there was nothing else in Brees past to show an inability to stay healthy. He didn't carry the same stigma of being injury prone as Bradford currently does. Is it out of the question that Bradford has a Brees-esque career resurgence? No. However, the fact remains that Drew Brees signing with the Saints was the best case scenario for them, while Sam Bradford starting for the Eagles was their Plan B.
Fortune does indeed favor the bold, but considering how lucky the Saints were that things turned out as they did, it'll be interesting to see if that lottery number pops up twice. Chip Kelly may not have wanted to end up like Nick Saban, but at the time of the trade his intention wasn't to end up like Sean Payton either. I'll give him this, if your goal is to spin how prosperous your offseason truly was then comparing your quarterback to a Super Bowl MVP and a Future Hall Of Famer is the correct way to go. However, let's not trivialize the extraordinary manner in which Sean Payton and Drew Brees completely resurrected the fortunes of the New Orleans Saints. While the Eagles supposed blueprint is clearly not unprecedented, it's definitely not a strategy that has a high rate of success.
YardBarker- The contest is over. Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid has already locked up Quote of the Year for the 2015 NFL season.
Reid described the feeling of calling a perfect play on offense, and his comparison is 100 percent genius. Terez A. Paylor of The Kansas City Star provided the moment:
“‘That’s a pretty good feeling,’ [Reid] said with a wink. ‘That’s like a good cheeseburger.'”
Say what you want about Andy Reid as a coach, but his food analogies are spot on. But hey, you didn't need me to to tell you that. Does the man in the picture above look like he fucks around when it comes to his appetite? Exactly. I bet if you asked Andy Reid what the best day of his life was he would tell you his wedding day and instantly go into a monologue about the cake. Probably talked to like two people during the cocktail hour and they just happened to be behind him in the buffet line. I am saying that 70% of his comparisons revolve around food, and that's probably on the low end. There's probably a whole sheet in the playbook that features calls that somehow include the term 'chicken wing'. He could run down a list of the top 10 burgers he's ever had off the top of his head, and I respect the hell out of him for it.
I am not even reaching here, this comparison is spot on. Ordering a burger is all about risk and reward, and much like play calling, you always assume the reward is worse the risk. That's because when ordering a burger, more often than not, the risk is very little. The burger is the safe option. It's the 4 yards and a cloud of dust of sandwiches. It's the quick slant of red meat options. It's simple, but effective. But a really, really good burger? A burger where the bun is perfectly toasted, the lettuce is crisp, the onions are fresh, and it's just juicy enough to avoid becoming too messy? That's the play-action pass where the entire defense bites and overplays the run. That's the double move on 3rd and 2 when the corner is trying to squat on the route. You always foresee a play call being at least mildly productive just like you always foresee your burger being at least average, but the times where it exceeds expectations? Those are the times when you really get that sense of satisfaction and pride. Sure, much of it is out of your hands. Who knows if the chef is going to leave just the right amount of pink in center? Who knows if the defensive coordinator is going to send a blitz on the weak side where you are sliding your protection? There is a certain amount of luck that goes into calling the perfect play, just as there is a certain amount of luck that goes into ordering a great burger. However, at the end of the day, the person that did either should bask in that glory, because no matter how serendipitous they were, it still required a little bit of genius too.
Trust me. With Alex Smith as his quarterback and the Chiefs having all of ZERO touchdowns scored by wideouts last year, Andy Reid is desperately waiting for a "good burger" to come along. Probably had to wear a bib during this interview so he didn't salivate all over himself.
Mirror- The youngster allegedly made a sudden swerve into the female skiier's path while they were both at a resort in Austria
Court case: Like these children the youngster was skiing when the accident took place A woman left seriously injured in a ski incident is SUING the six-year-old girl who allegedly caused the accident.
The youngster allegedly made a sudden swerve into the female skiier's path while they were both at a resort in the Hochhäderich mountain slopes near the German border.
The girl was with a ski school group and is now being sued for damages of £25,000 because the injured woman can no longer ski.
After legal action against the adult supervising the group was dismissed, the woman launched a negligence claim against the child.
A judge must decide if the youngster can be held legally responsible for her actions.
Under Austrian law, young people under the age of 14 cannot usually be held responsible in a civil case.
I go for a run on the beach a few times a week. Every fucking time, without fail, there is a little shit on the edge of the water throwing sand at their brother or sister, and every fucking time I have to judge when to slow down so I don't catch a fistful of wet sand to the face. Bottomline? Children are menaces. Doesn't matter whether you're in the supermarket, at a sporting event, running on the beach, or slowly drifting down the side of a snowy mountain. That being said, suing a 6 year old for a skiing accident is unacceptable behavior as an adult woman. Not because that 6 year old wasn't wrong, as a matter of fact, I'm sure she was very much in the wrong, but because the way to handle an accident or altercation with a child should remain the same at all times. You give an exaggerated smile and you take responsibility for it even if it wasn't your fault. I don't care if you have a goddamn ski sticking out of your jugular, you make sure that child doesn't feel like the culprit. You act like everything is okay and carry on with your day, because even if you were in the right, once that fucker cries you are dead wrong. You have got to watch out for children, because children are not watching out for themselves. If you crash into a 6 year old that means you weren't doing your job as a grown up in expecting the unexpected from all the littles bastards with underdeveloped brains around you. Basically what I am saying is that the day I stop paying attention and get pelted with that sand will be a day that I will only have myself blame.
For argument's sake, let's just say this woman was paying attention and did everything in her power to avoid an accident. The main reason the woman in question is suing is because with her injuries she can no longer ski. I am going to keep it real with you lady, if you were on the same learning curve as some little girl that was blindly floating down a bunny hill then you weren't skiing before either. Listen, I'm not saying you have to be good at every single hobby you decide to partake in, but you also shouldn't continue to be ungodly bad. It's like the kids that play open hockey every single day, but against all odds, somehow manage to get worse. I refuse to feel sympathy for a grown ass woman that has yet to graduate to a Blue Square. Why don't you put the charges on hold and realize that this was probably a sign from God. A sign that probably reads, in size 372 font, "HEY BITCH, STOP WASTING YOUR TIME AND MONEY SKIING ON THE SAME SLOPE AS A RETARDED 6 YEAR OLD OR I'LL BE FORCED TO STRIKE YOU WITH A TERMINAL DISEASE", or something like that...
Gawker- From the Daytona Beach News-Journal comes this very strange, highly concentrated dose of pure Florida: A New Smyrna Beach woman was arrested in an alleged murder-for-hire plot against her daughter’s homeless boyfriend after he alleged gave the daughter’s children lice.
Pamela Vanorsdale, 50, allegedly called her daughter’s ex-husband last Thursday and asked him to “pop” the homeless man, 22-year-old Dylan Loveless, in the head and chest. Loveless had apparently been abusive to Vanorsdale’s grandchildren, choking and chasing them, but when the kids came home with lice, that was the last straw.
The ex told police about her alleged attempt to hire him as a hitman, but she claimed she was “only joking.” Some of the things she was only joking about allegedly included: being able to provide the prospective hitman with a gun, wanting Loveless shot “in the head and chest,” being able to clean and dispose of the gun, and wanting the body dumped in South Carolina. She also “joked” that she could lure Loveless out of his homeless camp with the promise of work.
The plot never went down, though, because Loveless left his camp and Vanorsdale called to postpone until she could find him again.
When it comes to relationships, there aren't many things that I am absolutely certain of. The one thing I do know is that it is your job as a boyfriend to at least attempt to make a good impression on your girlfriends parents. I am not saying you will always be successful. I am not even saying that they will be receptive to you. However, it's the one situation in life where you have to do everything in your power to play nice, regardless of the attitudes of those around you. So while I am not going to sit here and advocate murder-for-hire, I can say that this kids actions around his girlfriend's family, no matter how crazy they happen to be, were criminal.
You can justify a 22 year old being homeless by saying that he's still young and has a bad relationship with his own parents. You can even justify him being abusive to the grandchildren as a little roughhousing gone wrong. But bringing lice in house? That shit could get, scratch that, should get you killed. I have never had lice, but if my children ever do, they are going to be homeless themselves until they figure out how to get rid of them. That's not a minor inconvenience. As far as being a house guest goes, it's a full blown felony. Bringing lice into a house that isn't yours is essentially terrorism, and if you have the means to do so, all terrorists should be executed without due process. Especially if they have plans on exploring a future with your daughter.
P.S. The real question is if this girl's boyfriend has no home, a proclivity towards beating children, and LICE, how bad was her ex-husband? Apparently bad enough to get roped into a murder-for-hire plot with her mother, that's how bad.
Let me start by saying that I appreciate authenticity in video games, especially in sports video games since they are the only ones that I really play. With that said, making RG3 so injury prone that he can barely get through a game in Madden is the meanest thing that has ever been done to a professional athlete. I like to think that I am pretty thick skinned and capable of taking a joke. However, how could
Robert Griffin not have mental issues when he can't even succeed as an avatar without being reminded of his failures as an actual person. For RG3 to sit down, forget about life, and enjoy a little time on the sticks he has to swallow his pride and change the settings so that he can continue to play as himself. That'll be the first time he's been brought back down to Earth without suffering a season threatening ankle injury. Was Jay Gruden one of the developers of the game? Why are they singling out RGIII? There have been countless athletes with a ton of negative attributes over the years, and Madden has always sacrificed realism in an attempt not to embarrass those athletes. If Madden was truly concerned about staying true to the game they would have Sam Bradford's durability at a flat 0. You wouldn't even be able to run a play for Trent Richardson without him tripping over his shoelaces in the backfield. Jimmy Graham wouldn't even show up on the screen in postseason play, because he's literally invisible in big games. I don't even like Robert Griffin, but I have his back on this one. At this point picking on him is like beating a dead horse, except a dead horse still competent leg muscles.
If you are going to make the game so that RG3 can't survive a light shove then you might as well just take the entire Redskins team out of the game. The fact that RG3 is fast makes him a good video game quarterback and thus becomes the only reason to play with the Redskins. It's not like 'Skins fan are dying to play with their squad. The last thing they want to do to is be reminded of their existence outside of the 3-4 hours a week they have to watch them play incompetent NFL football. Plus, an injury prone starting quarterback makes them virtually unusable in head to head competition. The last thing you need is to lose bragging rights to your buddy just because someone breathed on your quarterback too hard.
Rutgers Offering Up $100,000 To Students If They Return Their First Kickoff Of The Season For A Touchdown
Scarlet Knights- Rutgers students who attend the Scarlet Knights’ football home opener can have an opportunity to win a share of $100,000. If RU returns its first kickoff for a touchdown in the Sept. 5 game versus Norfolk State, 100 students will win $1,000 each in a contest presented by Autoland of Springfield, N.J. The game is set to start at noon at High Point Solutions Stadium.
Every Rutgers student who sits in the student section will automatically have a chance to win. Click here for complete contest rules. Click here for more information on student tickets.
The last time the Scarlet Knights returned their first kickoff of a game for a touchdown was in the opener of the 2013 season at Fresno State when Janarion Grant (Trilby, Fla.) ran back 100 yards on his first collegiate touch.
Okay, so a couple of things here. First of all, I can appreciate Rutgers potentially opening up the wallet in an attempt to get students even more excited for the beginning of football season than the already should be. Second of all, this means they have to receive the opening kick because having this happen after giving up points to a hapless Norfolk State team wouldn't be nearly as awesome as doing it on the first play of the season. Actually best case scenario for the university is that Norfolk State receives the ball at the beginning of the game, gets shutout for the entire first half, and Rutgers students are forced to stay for the second half kickoff of a game that will undoubtedly be out of hand at that point.
With all that said, I am praying they don't return this kick for a touchdown. Why you ask? Well, because you always want your team to leave you wanting more. If we, as a fanbase, start the season becoming $100,000 richer then there is nowhere to go but down. We could have the best season in Rutgers history, miraculously luck into the Big Ten championship game, and students would already be looking forward to 2016. Already thinking ahead, hoping for a repeat performance of the time they used $100 unearned dollars to eat something other mass produced cafeteria food or drink something other than bargain basement vodka.
Plus, as Rutgers fans we should know by now that we can only have so many good things happen to us in one season. Just look at the offseason. The shit was going fucking swimmingly until an email scandal involving our head coach came out of the woodwork, and minutes later a potential starting quarterback and our star wide receiver got benched for a half. That wasn't foul play on the part of Kyle Flood, Chris Laviano, or Leonte Carroo. That was divine intervention telling us to temper our expectations. Sure, it's easy for me to root for the kick returner to get tackled at the 20 when I am no longer a student and can't benefit financially off a touchdown. However, if you have the best interest of Rutgers football in mind you should be rooting for an anticlimactic finish as well. This program doesn't get Cinderella seasons, so I would rather not waste a glass slipper on a meaningless kick return against an FCS opponent. Give me a 99 yard return where he gets shoestring tackled by the kicker at the one yard line. We can save the touchdown for the 2nd play. That's the kind of disappointment I need to give me the impression that there are much better things ahead for this year's Scarlet Knights.
P.S. Hey Janarion Grant, no pressure bro. Might want to watch these highlights next Friday night...
You can say a lot of critical things about Dwight Howard. You can say he's a disingenuous person that hides behind the facade of his smile. You can say that he's a bad boyfriend given his proclivity for impregnating a new woman on a seemingly bi-monthly basis. You can say he's a terrible father since he has spent about 10 minutes in total 'coaching' his roster of children. You can even say that he's an overrated basketball player that fell miles upon miles short of reaching his sky high potential.
However, if we are going to talk about all his less than desirable personality traits, it would be in poor taste not to mention his good qualities. Dwight Howard is a mender of fences. He's a uniter of men. He brings people together, even under the most segregating of circumstances. Don't sit there and tell me that Dwight Howard isn't an outstanding mediator when he helped to fix quite possibly the most volatile relationship in sports history. Now granted, he only did so after a messy divorce, and he did it by being an overpaid disappointment who spent the rare opportunities he had to come off injured reserved complaining about his Hall Of Fame teammate, but don't say it didn't get results. When you are dealing with two personalities as strong as those of Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant, sometimes you have to go to extravagant lengths. Let's face it, the divide between those two was something unforeseen in couples therapy. Even the most successful of marriage counselors would have recommended a referral elsewhere. Dwight may have had some abnormal practices, but he helped two of the best basketball players that have ever walked this Earth to understand what they had in each other and what they accomplished together. He's definitely still a dick, but don't say he's a dick without purpose.
PFT- “He runs meetings like a coach,” Gore said of Luck. “Basically, I’m playing with a coordinator on the field. He’s a football God. He sees everything, and he sees the big picture of everything.”
“He’s different. He knows what’s coming,” Gore told Rome. “He lets me know when [there’s] something I don’t see. He’s just different. How he’s in the huddle, off the field, in the meetings, he runs it. He runs the show, even in the offseason, he ran it. One day he had running backs, the next day he has receivers. He’s just different. He’s a football God.”
I am not questioning whether or not Andrew Luck is one of the best young players in the game. I am not even questioning whether or not he has complete control of his offense on the football field. I just think I might stop a little short of calling someone with not one Super Bowl appearance on his resume a "football God". Like maybe, at the very most, he's a pre-asension football Jesus. At least that guy once walked among men.
I'll give Frank Gore this. If God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us? Just a stranger on the bus? Then Andrew Luck's dorky personality and mangy beard do fit the mold. That's a guy that looks like he belongs fixing your transmission, not barking out audibles on the line. I don't know how they swooned Frank Gore into coming to Indianapolis, but if they met for dinner on the corner of First and Amistad then I might just be convinced that the Colts are destined for greatness this year. Hell, if Frank Gore,at 32 years old, manages to stay healthy through this entire season than I might bow before his quarterback, because that would be some superhuman type shit.
The more likely scenario? Frank Gore has just never been around a real, NFL quarterback. You know when people have lived a life of sin and then as they get older they suddenly "find God". They just use the presence of a supposed supreme being in their life as a crutch that prevents them from falling back into the habits of their treacherous past. That's what Andrew Luck is to Frank Gore. Alex Smith and Colin Kaepernick? They were his life of sin. Frank Gore didn't find God, he just lost Satan's signal callers. It's not necessarily who Andrew Luck is, but what he represents. It's like spending your life as part of an atheist cult, and then going to a Catholic church for the first time and being in awe of the priest. Andrew Luck is a model for what a good, winning quarterback is supposed to be. He may have some God-like qualities, mainly giving his team a voice and a direction, but that's just what it takes to successfully lead an NFL team in 2015.