 My reaction to this video?  I know that coaches should probably refrain from lending their knuckles to physical squabbles between hormonal teenagers. That being said, that kid doesn't seem too much worse for the wear so I'm not going to pretend that an enraged, pubescent monster that tried to take on an entire roster is some sort of helpless victim. More importantly, why have Andrew Peters on a youth hockey bench if he isn't going to make himself look like a complete jackass in coming to the aide of youth hockey players? Knocking that rabies-stricken lunatic on his ass and saving one of his kids from taking a stick across the sternum is literally the only thing that Andrew Peters can provide young, inquiring minds. We are talking about a dude that had SEVEN points in SIX seasons. He wasn't just an goon. He was the goon that true enforcers looked at and said "this fucking blockhead is going to get us phased out of the sport". When I tell you that he was as useless a professional hockey player as I have ever seen I mean the most he ever contributed while wearing a Devils jersey was getting tossed early for failing to tie down his Devils jersey by the fight strap. He only laced them up for 28 games that season and likely only played a handful of shifts each time, but I swear I still have PTSD from watching him try to handle a goddamn puck. I wouldn't trust Andrew Peters to pass my hypothetical child the mashed potatoes, never mind teach him/her the intricacies of a game he somehow bullied his way to the top of. I didn't think - before this very moment - that having a guy with NHL experience tutor the youth of tomorrow could be a bad thing, but if the only team available for my future son is coached by Andrew Peters then I'm tossing in the towel and letting him take ballet lessons. 
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PFT- Asked by Talk of Fame Network whether he’d pick Owens or Moss when both are on the Hall of Fame ballot next year, Polian said he’d leave them both off.
“I take neither,” Polian said. “First of all, here’s my position: [I want players who] contribute both individually and to the team. T.O.’s situation, T.O.’s temperament, his ability to contribute to the team was well known up front. He was going to be a problem. We did not want to deal with problem children. Others may. We didn’t. That’s number one. Number two, every year in Indianapolis we said the following: ‘The price of admission is 100 percent effort all the time in everything we do.’ Well, how can we take Randy Moss when we make that statement? It’s that simple.” Polian believes both Moss and Owens will end up with busts in Canton, even though Polian doesn’t think they belong. “I think they will, unfortunately in my view,” said Polian, “because whether you like it or not. these ‘electoral campaigns’ have a way of swinging people. In my view, and I said this publicly last year, I think the Hall of Fames are for people who make their teams better, not who detract from them. Now, T.O. was a bigger detractor over his career than Moss, but you certainly wouldn’t call [Moss’ attitude] any harbinger or example of what you want in a football player other than when he decided to play. ‘I play when I play.’ I don’t buy it.” ---- Before we go criticizing Bill Polian for being a holier-than-thou, self-appointed barren of righteousness, let's dissect this claim a little bit. Obviously it seems like the stuffiest of half-dead white guy takes to reference questionable on-field character in wanting to exclude the second AND third most statistically accomplished wideouts of all time from consideration for a personal honor that's historically bestowed upon the athletes that had the biggest impact on the sport. The 'Hall Of Fame' - semantically speaking - isn't some collection of the world's greatest teammates, but let's think outside of the box for a minute. I mean, is it really fair to say that Randy Moss and Terrell Owens should definitely get in because of their astronomical numbers and otherworldly talent when that would ultimately delay the nominations of harder-working, morally superior champions like Reggie Wayne and Brandon Stokley? Sure, Bill Polian celebrated Marvin Harrison's induction after his 'Hall Of Fame' career ended with multiple gun fights, but he never shot down his team's chances at victory by becoming a distraction in the locker room! As long as you finish your routes and keep your fucking mouth shut then you can be a criminal and/or a cocksucker off the field. Just don't you dare let it translate to the sidelines or the man with the two year old gold jacket (that might as well be viewed as a parting gift from Peyton Manning) will use the power vested in him to check you off his list. You can score an eye-popping amount of touchdowns and be widely regarded as a generational superstar, but end up responsible for a handful of negative, football-related headlines and Canton's self-proclaimed General Manager will keep you off his all-time roster of gridiron mutes and choir boys! P.S. Don't worry, T.O. is totally not rattled. Seriously guys, he's fine. God, will you stop asking? HE ALREADY TOLD YOU HE'S OKAY!!!
The Best High School Basketball Player In Utah Is Named...Wait For It...Stockton Malone Shorts2/28/2017 
FTW- Did his parents know that John Stockton and Karl Malone played in Utah once upon a time?
I’d really love to fool you on this one, but yes, they do. And the story behind how they chose the name is amazing. From the Salt Lake Tribune in 2015: Label him a child of the Dream Team, because an exhibition contest during the U.S. Olympic basketball team’s preparation for the 1996 Games became his christening moment — more than two years before his birth to Rylan and Kelly Shorts. Stockton’s parents attended that game vs. China in Phoenix, where they lived, wearing USA jerseys. They were walking down the street when a van stopped and the driver beckoned them. As they approached the vehicle, out stepped John Stockton, Karl Malone and Jerry Sloan, who chatted with them and signed autographs. That explains how their first-born son would have immortalized names. The episode “kind of left us speechless,” said Kelly Shorts, who understood her future husband’s loyalty to the Jazz. “That kind of sold me.” --- I'll throw this shocking disclaimer out there - I don't know a goddamn thing about the state of high school hoops in Utah. I would venture to guess that Salt Lake City isn't churning out 1-and-dones by the dozen because this is the first I've heard of this kid and the season typically starts in October, but thank god that Stockton Shorts is dominating it none-the-less. I love the back story, but it would all be for naught if the fantastic double entendre that is the namesake of one of the greatest one-two punches in NBA history was regulated to garbage time. Can you imagine if Stockton Shorts was coming off the bench because he was a haphazard turnover machine? He'd be a goddamn punchline to every Chad and Connor in Utah's private school system. Instead he's going to get way more notoriety than any other prospect that originated in 'The Beehive State', and it's all because his parents were moved to eventual conception by a random rendezvous with the preeminent pick-and-rollers of their time. It's not often you can name your kid something obnoxious and have it work out in their favor. Not only did Ryan and Kelly Shorts manage to do it, but they also gave their child a perfectly caucasian first name that exemplifies his hometown so perfectly that I'll give them a pass for not making him wear honorary nut-huggers. Enjoy.... 
In fairness, it's not the worst "sorry not sorry" I have ever seen. Probably could have done without the passive aggressive labeling of Mark Ingram and the boys as a homeless-looking, drunken posse (honestly shocked they managed to suppress their inner Phil Jackson). I don't know about you, but that's how that third paragraph reads to me and I have a trained eye when it comes to victim blaming. Be that as it may, they do make a fair points about requiring mixed company for a high end club, but that doesn't mean there aren't inherent issues with an "apology" that certainly doesn't read like one... 1) If the real reason a group of black guys wasn't let into their club was because they were all male and there is strict rule against that then it probably shouldn't have taken 16 full hours for a well-known entity to craft a carefully worded response to a goddamn plethora of internet outrage. 2) Cirque Le Soir is - from what I can tell via limited research - basically a circus act meets a PG-13 Gentlemen's Club. It's definitely not like a "$200, you name it", cum-stained hole in the wall, but it does employ scantily clad women in featured performances. I may have quit on that business degree before I ever got started, but something tells me that turning male dominated groups away from a place that has women walking around in their panties would be less than ideal for it...
3) Cirque Le Soir has welcomed no shortage of hip-hop groups onto their premises, and - without making too many assumptions about the confidants of Young Thug and Waka Flocka Flame - I have reason to believe that rap entourages aren't seething with buttoned up gentlemen and their elegant plus-one's...
4) You can't say you would never dismiss anyone as "too urban" when you literally did just that. A small part of me respects Cirque Le Soir for having their employees back even though they made an excessively "judgmental" mistake, but Mark Ingram didn't fabricate the "too urban" label - he just turned it into a hilarious hashtag....
So yeah, maybe just say "my bad" and move on, because - whether or not it was Cirque Le Soir's intent - they were without a doubt culturally insensitive at the very, verrrrrry least. 
I like to think that someone from the league office walked up to Mike Bass - apparent curator of the NBA's non-apologetic apologies - and told him that Dwight Howard's ejection needed to be corrected in writing, and he responded with "uggggh, do I have to?". Obviously transparency is important (to Adam Silver), but I would argue it's less important than not legitimizing Dwight Howard's bitching. After all, we are talking about a guy who followed a botched dunk attempt by pretending that his follow up slam was some superhuman feat for a 7 footer that could touch the glass jumping out of bed. Combined that with the fact Dwight Howard is, without debate, an insufferable human being and you shouldn't even need to apologize on behalf of the officials that that told him to take the slowest of laps. I know it's important to stand by the rule book, but if there's a person that doesn't deserve the benefit of absolute regulations then it's the guy that got tossed for the least intimidating rim hang in NBA history. I can't believe I didn't realize this until now, but - considering he's a shithead that's always smiling for no apparent reason - Dwight Howard is essentially the personification of the poop emoji. Higher ups may not agree, but I think that's reason enough to blindly upgrade all his unsportsmanlikes to technicals. 
Annnnd there's the inherent downside of having fans that are aptly titled "hooligans". They will literally kill on behalf of their soccer club, but if their soccer club happens to get in their way while they are doing so they don't have the emotional stability/sobriety to keep them from getting caught up in the crossfire. Without being present for this act of vandalism I can confidently say there was about .3 seconds of investigative research that went in to identifying the target as Middlesbrough's bus. By that, I mean that one guy - who I like to imagine was carrying a lit torch for dramatic effect - was stumbling around where he thought the opponent's mode of transportation might be, screamed "THERE!", and the damage was already half done before any accomplices could even mutter "...but, are you sure?". I don't even think that Crystal Palace can be upset that their organization has to shell out a bunch of dough to get their wheels touched up, because it's a sign that their support section is in mid-season form. Hell, if I were them I might save the £40k and leave it as is. Imagine the intimidation factor of traveling into a rival city with your team name angrily scribed across the side of your coach? You don't have to watch too many movies that are set on the the bad side of town to know that the team that rolls around on the graffiti covered Greyhound is not to be fucked with. Might not be the most professional look in the world, but it is the most bad ass. Plus, embracing your fans' misguided disorderly conduct is 100x times easier than explaining it or paying for it. Mark Ingram And A Handful Of Saints Got Turned Away From A Nightclub In London For Being "Too Urban"2/27/2017 
— Vonn Bell (@TheVonnBell7) February 28, 2017
Soooo, maybe time to put that oft-ballyhooed expansion to London on the back burner for awhile, no? I probably wouldn't be all that welcoming to American footballers if a vast majority of my experience watching them consisted of hosting the Jacksonville Jaguars either, but outright prejudice from a seemingly well known establishment? Probably not the best look during an NFL trial run. Now, I'm not going to allege that the British harbor ill will towards African Americans because - quite frankly - I don't know shit about the British other than that they drive on the wrong side of the road and they can get away with saying pretty much anything because of their awesome accents. Unfortunately, those sweet voices don't serve them too well in text convos where the person on the international end is being way too goddamn cavalier while having a casual conversation that it littered with obvious racial overtones. This guy legitimately thought that following up a fucking sad face with what I consider the civilized equivalent of saying "sorry darkies" was an acceptable transition, so consider me skeptical of his understanding of cross-cultural communication. Granted, it would be stupid to generalize the progressiveness of a region based on one interaction gone ridiculously awry. Even the professional athletes that were victims of blatant racism - that was conveyed in such a watered down, 'PG' form that it's almost more insulting to the intelligence of the target than if the culprits had just been straightforward about it - didn't let one experience ruin their time in the United Kingdom. Far be it for me to say they shouldn't have to travel back there to play on the type of turf that we here in the United States let our dogs relieve themselves on when they still seem pretty excited by the prospect of doing so. Still, I can't help but think it would be wise to 'CC' Roger Goodell on this story and let him know that the players whose safety he cares ohhhh-so-much about are being denied reservations for being "too urban" in a city whose interests he's constantly looking out for. Could be something that he might want to mildly consider if he ever gets serious about "urbanizing" overseas. Credit to Mark Ingram, Vonn Bell, Sterling Moore, B.W. Webb, and friends for - at least publicly - laughing off discrimination at it's most boorish and turning it into a hilarious strings of tweets instead of treating it like an indictment of an entire country. That bad situation could have been made a hell of a lot worse, but - in the face of bigotry - six big, scary, burly black men handled themselves like true professionals in every sense of the word.
 Damon Severson with his hands up in dumbfounded confusion and Cory Schneider staring off into space desperately dreaming of the day that he's blessed with enough defense to make it to the promised land of exploratory playoff appearances. I know the Devils' backbone has nowhere to look but in the mirror after giving up a backbreaking overtime goal to Mika Zibanejad, but that doesn't mean that this picture isn't depressingly symbolic of what has ailed his team this year. I suppose it was just a matter of time before the lights got shot out on another lost year, but it would have been nice to have a relative meaningless comeback win against the Rangers to hang their hat on before the season all-but-faded to black. Instead - for the second time this season - New York turned a late lead into a soul crushing defeat, and reminded those in attendance that the home team is just not on their level as of yet. I don't think one campaign that fell short of expectations is all that disastrous to a team that outperformed expectations in the first true year of their rebuild, but I do think it's sign that the work in progress isn't close to completion. The current blue line makes Adam Larsson look like Nicklas Lidstrom, and it's inability to create any consistent offense whatsoever makes their already struggling forwards look even worse. That's pretty impressive considering they have recently managed to botch chances that would have Tuomo Ruutu believing he still has a place in the league. We've gotten glimpses of youthful promise (Wood, Zacha), shades of the 30 goal scorers that came into their own last season (Rico, Palms), and a pretty good look at why the Taylor Hall trade was one that absolutely had to be made. That said, this team needs to turn their cap space into players that don't cap out at being space eaters if they want to keep building on a core of forwards that are in their prime and reasonably priced on long term contracts (i.e. not Mike Cammalleri). There probably should have been a bit more apprehensiveness entering the season with glorified veterans/certified pylons like Ben Lovejoy and Kyle Quincey manning nightly roles. Hell, throw John Moore into the rotation and John Merrill's performance has looked half decent, and I KNOW John Merrill can only look half decent by comparison. That lesson, hopefully, has been learned because going without a serious upgrade on the backend won't translate well to future positivity throughout the fan base or it's starting goaltender. This season hasn't been as dejecting as the immediate aftermath of the loss to the Rangers made it seem, but it sure has been close. I'm ready to jump aboard the tank and lock-and-unload any impending free agent that's worth a damn. I just pray Ray Shero is ready to do what Ray Shero has already proven adept at doing in turning "a damn" into contributors, because the Devils sure don't have enough of those at the moment.  Uproxx- Divac spoke with Ailene Voisin of the Sacramento Bee following the trade deadline in an extensive interview about the Cousins trade and more. Divac explained his comments that the Kings actually had a better offer two days prior to the Pelicans trade, insisting it was Cousins’ camp which drove the price down from two first rounders to a first and a second.
He also did the one thing an executive should never do. Publicly say he’ll step down if the trade doesn’t work out for the Kings’ betterment in two years. “That’s my job, and I take responsibility. And I totally understand why some fans would be upset. They supported DeMarcus, and I like DeMarcus a lot. But I believe we are going to be in a better position in two years. I want to hear again from these same people in two years. If I’m right, great. If I’m wrong, I’ll step down. But if I go down, I’m going down my way.” In my "expert" opinion, it is not wise for the General Manager of the most incompetent franchise in all of professional sports to stake his job security to a lop-sided trade that saw him lose (far and away) his best player for well below market value. I guess I really have nothing to base that assessment off of other than my own common sense. However, risking one of thirty jobs as the Vice President of an NBA team on a transaction that got you ruthlessly roasted by the entire sports world seems like a good way to prime your mouth for the foot that was just recently removed from it after you offered the public unnecessary knowledge of the better offer you had two days prior. That said, this "guarantee" that has absolutely no details attached to it isn't anywhere near as dangerous as it seems. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Vlade Divac's definition of "a better position" doesn't exactly match up with that of his fans. The Kings could very easily be rocking a worse record in two seasons, but if people aren't making them the butt of every joke then technically one could rationalize that they are in "a better position". What I am saying is that - despite sitting just outside the playoffs in a top heavy Western Conference - there's nowhere to go for the Kings to go but up....and that includes going down and guaranteeing themselves their own top 10 protected draft pick. In the eyes of every one of his peers, Vlade Divac is basically walking around being viewed as red nose wearing, chain smoking, physically imposing Serbian clown and you can argue that literally any position is better than the one that he and his organization are in right now. 
Not going to lie, the idea of having your own personal island seems pretty awesome. That picture with the beautiful sandy beach and the crystal clear water in the background was definitely touched up to make it look like Adidas is offering up some Mediterranean paradise when they really just scooped up a glorified sandbar for cents on the dollar. Still, the crappiest of islands is still - by definition - an island and the utterance of that word combined with a brightly colored promotional picture will make the (wetness behind the) ears of 19-21 year old athletic prodigies perk up. I just think there has to be a Plan B in place if Adidas is going to have every cocky, presumptuous teenager over extending themselves while attempting to sprint fast enough to skip across the water en route to their (supposedly) prime real estate. For instance, if no one runs the 40 yard dash at the speed of sound and the ludicrously quick record remains unbroken then the island gets sold to the highest bidder to pay for the reconstruction of every ACL that gets torn at the combine. That seems fair to me, because at least a handful of prospects are going to try to defy every stopwatch they been clocked with during the months prior when they begin to picture a bunch of scantily clad broads seductively strewn under palm trees at the finish line. Maybe there is an incoming NFLer that runs like he's got a rocket up his asshole (that will soon realize that islands are also places where people go batshit crazy), but I'd say the probability that a player actually sticks a rocket in his asshole in hopes of trimming his time into the 4.1's is just as likely. It'll be nice for the latter to have his damages paid for when he gets burned by his mortal athleticism while trying to reach the lofty goal of recreating the 'Big Pimpin' video on his own property. Important Update: As predicted, all these islands are "end up sitting under a tree, rocking back and forth, giggling to yourself, and contemplating whether or not you're still in touch with your sanity" islands. Tom Hanks' character in 'Castaway' would have reinforced Wilson with any and all blunt objects and committed double homicide by bludgeoning himself with "him" if he spent more than 12 hours on one of these sea forests. I might even consider intentionally tacking a hundredth of a second or two on to my time if I knew I might have to worry about owning one of these lifeless barrens of hopelessness...
"Uproxx- “It is a huge bummer as I am an out-of-state student,” Logsdon told the Courier-Journal in an email Friday. “It would have went a long way to paying off student loans and anything in that manner. It was still an awesome experience and something I’ll never forget. Very bittersweet though.”
A Louisville athletics spokesman clarified that Logsdon won’t win the big prize because the group that administers this contest has a number of really specific requirements. He also said that the athletic department is working with Logsdon so he gets something out of these experience. You can probably assume that his prize will be worth less than $38,000, though. ---- Well, that's one way to protect a promotional investment. Make the feat extremely implausible for even the most experienced of athlete and then dwindle the pool of people tasked with completing it down to those that have never made into the final two during a game of 'Knockout'. Tough to really hate this move as someone the realizes that good marketing is all about making shit sound way better than it actually is. Maybe the pre-pubescent, blissfully ignorant version of myself that thought 'Score-O' victors actually won a car instead of getting "gifted" a limited one year lease would be tricked into thinking that the companies who sponsor these fan interactions do so without covering their own ass. Adult me, however, has seen far too many suspiciously "out-of-place" (I think that PC terminology accurately covers the old, fat, and dorky) fans toss up embarrassing attempts to not realize that the "random selection" responsible was as biased as the Presidential polls. So while I do think it's a total pussy move not to allow former high school hoopers to try their hand at something that would require precise timing and a hell of a lot of luck from anyone not named Steph Curry, I'm aware that most good advertisements are a castrated version of what they appear to be to the outside world. That's why I don't really have a problem with them vetting the potential participants, but I do have a problem failing to uphold their end of the bargain when they do a shitty job of vetting potential participants. Pretty shady of Jackson Logsdon to lie about his average athletic past, but it's not his job to shed light on the truth before he steps on the court in front of thousands of people and puts that average athletic past to a profitable use. I think we need to apply college rules here, and they are - to my extremely intoxicated recollection - that if someone sneaks beers past security they are allowed to drink them freely and if a student lies his way on to the court then everything that happens after should count in the court of law. I'm going to need to get a better look at the fine print, because I didn't go to grad school but I do know that - litigiously speaking - a verbal contract is about as useful as tits on a bull. 
CBS- A 17-year-old transgender boy completed an undefeated season Saturday by winning a controversial Texas state girls wrestling title in an event clouded by criticism from those who believe the testosterone he’s taking as he transitions from female to male created an unfair advantage.
The family of Mack Beggs has said he would rather be wrestling boys, but state policy calls for students to wrestle against the gender listed on their birth certificates. So the junior from Euless Trinity beat Chelsea Sanchez 12-2 in the 110-pound weight class to improve to 56-0 and earn the championship. Beggs fell to his knees for a moment after the win as a mixture of cheers and boos rained down on him. He then hugged his coach and left the mat. Beggs, who reached the state tournament after two opponents forfeited, was dogged throughout the event by questions about whether his testosterone treatments made him too strong to wrestle fairly against girls. The University Interscholastic League, which oversees athletics in Texas public schools, enacted the birth certificate policy Aug. 1. And while Beggs’ family has said he wanted to compete against boys, UIL deputy director Jamey Harrison, who refused to address Beggs directly, said they had not received a request to change divisions from any athlete at this competition. “Nothing that has happened at this year’s wrestling championships has the UIL reconsidering its rules because quite frankly we don’t believe that any issues being reported on are really a product of UIL rules,” he said. And in Texas, lawmakers are considering a bill similar to HB2, the North Carolina law that prompted the NBA to move this year’s All-Star Game out of that state. If passed, the Texas version, called SB6, would require transgender people to use the bathroom of their “biological sex.” ---- Is there anything more "Texas" than booing a transgendered boy for dominating the girls he was forced to compete against by the antiquated rules of their own historically intolerant state? Calling something "perfectly clueless" seems oxymoronic, but it's the only accurate description of wrestling parents who directed their ire at a 17 year old who was strong-armed into bulldozing his opponents when pursuing sports in the gender of his choosing was shot down by higher ups. Oh well, fair is fair I guess. I mean, why criticize the committee that would rather restrict the rights of the LGBT community than employ common sense when those bigoted bastards aren't the person strapping on a onesie and summoning his unfair advantage to suplex the will out of teenage girls that don't have male hormones coursing throughout their veins? Makes way more sense to publicly crap on a kid for not giving up wrestling when he was blocked from doing so against people with a similar chemical makeup. Surely he's not already dealing with enough backlash while growing up in a region that doesn't seem too keen on viewing him the same way he views himself, so might as well pile on while he plays the only hand he was dealt and royally flushes the spirit of a couple broads along the way. After all, you can't expect a significant portion of the all-too-progressive Houston population to just quit on their "you are what you were born as, gosh darnit" philosophy after the very first time the results didn't work in their favor. True prejudice requires blissful ignorance, so the UIL and the boo-birds in stands almost had to ignore that the obvious competitive injustice was a problem of their own creation. The only other alternative would have been to let Mack Beggs (great name, BTW) identify as himself, and that would require the admittance that there is more than two genders and potentially cause an awkward, "daddy, what is he doing?" bathroom interaction or two. P.S. It would be disingenuous not to acknowledge that it's tough to put instances like this in a box. For instance, a transgender girl taking estrogen pills probably also has a significant physical advantage over her female peers. I know it's damn near impossible for states like Texas to wrap their minds around this but these situations need to be looked at on a case by case basis, and the UIL apparently handles these cases worse than the person forced to settle for double digit earnings on 'Deal Or No Deal?'. 
Normally I would steer clear of criticizing a high school kid whose selfish brand of basketball is aided by a completely compliant head coach, but this is the same high school kid that got his ass powdered on social media for putting up 92 points in what remains the biggest disgrace to the game I have ever seen. I guess what I am saying is that when you achieve viral glory by being an insufferable asshole, I stop factoring age into the all-too-important equation of whether or not I deem you a worthy target. That's why LaMelo Ball is the only hardly pubescent high schooler I feel comfortable taking aim at when he costs his team full of enablers a chance at a state championship with a stat line that makes Kobe's farewell tour look efficient. I don't even know how to top failing to make a shot from 2-point range, but I would argue that bricking TWENTY 3's in a 32 minute game (plus overtime) is just futile enough to do so. I mean, that effort was so garbage that I looked over the box score and almost didn't even notice that his brother went 9-32 and was just as responsible for Chino Hills getting the fate that their shockingly stupid, kin-centric offensive execution deserved. Maybe I'm being too harsh, but if I have to see this kid make the internet rounds when he calls his shot from half court then you bet your ass I'm going to call him a fuck boy when he misses that same shot 15 times over in a playoff game his team lost by a single possession. Anyway, let's check in with the level headed patriarch of the Ball family to see what he has to say...
Right. Well, you can count me all the way out on every one of these kids. Don't get me wrong, I will love nothing more than to watch them make J.R. Smith, Swaggy P, and Dion Waiters look down to Earth by comparison. Once this trio of chuckers gets to the league they will be nothing short of must watch entertainment, but I as far as rooting for them goes? Thanks, but no thanks. As far as I am concerned, they can all strong-arm their way onto the Lakers, because I can't think of a better franchise to flounder in mediocrity while encouraging fundamentally flawed hero ball of the highest order. I don't mean to sound like Oscar Robertson or Charles Barkley because I love The Steph Curry Show just as much as everyone else, but the LaMelo Ball's of the sports world give the retired curmudgeons a legitimate voice. The numbers don't lie, and a 15 year old whose father plans on fixing the NBA Draft for every one of his three kids bested the NBA record for attempted 3's by SIX in a much, much shorter game. 
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait just a damn minute here. I thought we had an understanding? Is the bar for a 'T' not raised when it comes with a corresponding one game suspension? I'm not saying that Boogie's completely unnecessary swim move wasn't worthy of more serious penalization than a common foul, but it definitely wasn't worthy of a night in street clothes. If I learned anything from watching Draymond Green miraculously avoid that fateful 17th technical despite his nightly nut taps throughout the postseason it's that what constitutes a player's 18th tech is much more egregious than what constitutes their 1st-16th techs. Does that philosophy not hold during the regular season, or are NBA officials involved in a conspiracy to make the Sacramento Kings front office look less inept? If DeMarcus Cousins is really going to have to sit one out every time he bitches, moans, or harmlessly pushes someone than Vlade Divac will be going into this offseason with his head held high and his chest puffed full of hot air. After trading a top 15 player - for a return that is perfectly described by the word "meh" - in the league where success is most dependent on having a superstar, we can't let him feel fictitiously vindicated after he created the frustrating environment that lent itself to 17 emotional outbursts. If Boogie being Boogie means that Boogie is only going to play every other game from here on out then that first round Warriors/Pelicans series - that wouldn't be nearly as close as we hope - is basically a pipe dream. P.S. If technical fouls, the guard positions, and an emphasis on outside shooting didn't exist then you could pencil the Pelicans in as NBA Champions. Anthony Davis and DeMarcus Cousins combined for 69 points and 17 rebounds while playing 52 minutes collectively, and somehow that wasn't enough to overcome Russell Westbrook's 41 and his continued reign of triple-doubles. After Seeing The Devils Gameday Poster For Tomorrow I Now Present: A Story Told In Pictures2/24/2017        SaturdayDownSouth- Soon after Ole Miss released its lengthy video Wednesday detailing the latest notice of allegations against the school from the NCAA, Neal McCready of Rebel Grove wrote an article discussing his thoughts on the latest revelations and what it could mean for the school and head coach Hugh Freeze moving forward.
The article lays out multiple scenarios for the Ole Miss program but also goes into some detail on the players allegedly involved in potential infractions with the football program in Oxford. Among them, according to this article, are Mississippi State players Leo Lewis and Kobe Jones. Soon after the NCAA offered immunity for active players to speak out against Ole Miss, McCready claims Lewis ‘sung about his recruiting’ to the NCAA. One of the more interesting segments of the article claims Ole Miss turned in a recorded conversation from the mother of Leo Lewis – presumably to use against Mississippi State. Ole Miss, per multiple sources, possesses a recording, and has given the SEC a copy, of (Leo) Lewis’ mother asking Ole Miss for money and detailing incentives she received from other programs, including Mississippi State. --- I'm not saying it's right that Ole Miss is grasping at ankles in hopes of pulling other programs down the rabbit hole of allegations they are about to drown under, buuuuut if you are going to bring company to your pity party than your in-state rival might as well be your plus-1, am-I-right? It's definitely a shiesty move to attempt to implicate a competitor of some run-of-the-mill recruiting violations when your own list of transgressions makes Art Briles feel a cleanliness that even a bleach bath couldn't provide him. Still - for the first time in a long time - Ole Miss was subtle in their shadiness, and that's certainly a step in the right direction if they ever want to be relevant again. Honestly? I would have a much bigger problem with this if they reacted to getting busted by immediately squealing on Mississippi State, but that doesn't appear to be the case at all. Hugh Freeze just "accidentally" slipped a little cross-conference incrimination into the evidence he turned over as part of his compliance with the investigation. He totally had no idea that soundbite was even in there, or at least that's what the boosters that paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to turn Ole Miss into an SEC power are telling me. The guy who is about to have his name dragged through the mud for the next few months definitely didn't snitch on Mississippi State. It was just an honest mistake. Cross his heart and hope to not get his soon-to-be former employer a decade worth of sanctions without getting at least one enemy program a bowl ban!   Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. The only way this story of baby-making could be anymore "Philly" is if Rocky Balboa got Bobby Clarke loaded off Yuengling's and the ensuing sodomy produced the immaculate excrement that is Chase Utley. Historically speaking, the backup goaltender and the useless goon are the thee most beloved players on the Flyers' roster, and they are about to become pseudo-family after one just extramaritally impregnated the other's little sister. It's like straight out of a low budget rom-com......assuming that low budget rom-com was shot in an alley off Broad Street, can most easily be streamed from the bowels of PornHub, and has only been seen by about 400 people who swear that Scott Stevens is a dirty player because he knocked their best chance for a championship into the subconscious state they call home. Radko has been throwing dirty, illegal hits for years, and somehow it's the guy that's been forced to cover for all of his endless myriad of mistakes who delivered the sticking from behind that will inevitably have the most long term of consequences for the Gudas' family. Who woulda thunk it?! What's that you say? Michal Neuvirth is separated and has been openly seeing Radko Gudas' sibling? Donnnn't carrrrrrre. Somehow the facts of this story are even more hilarious than the intricate details, and I won't let the miracle that is impending childbirth ruin it for me. By definition, the Flyers are now inbreeding and somehow that seems like an "ADRIAAAAAN!"-esque love story compared to Jeff Carter punching his ticket out of town after slipping some rubber through the 5-hole of Scotty Hartnell's wife. The inner workings of Philly's locker room are now responsible for a baby bump, and it's not the kind that Mike Richards was shoving up his nose to prep for playoff games. I guess it really is all in the family, and somehow that family seems more dysfunctional than the asshole Eagles fans in 'Silver Linings Playbook'.  TheBigLead- Maine’s basketball program is not having a great season and it got worse last week. The Black Bears are 6-24 this year and just had to explain one of the most ridiculous news items of the college basketball season. Five players were suspended last week and one suffered a broken jaw after a fight in the locker room broke out over music. Junior guard Wes Myers confronted senior forward Marko Pirovic who was listening to music. Myers asked Pirovic to turn it off, and Pirovic refused. The two began to argue, they both threw punches and Myers hit Pirovic, breaking his jaw. Pirovic had to be taken to Eastern Maine Medical Center and underwent a 2.5 hour surgery to repair his jaw and it will be wired shut for six to eight weeks. Pirovic declined to press charges and claimed it was just a typical locker room altercation that got out of control. Fellow players Jaquan McKennon, Ilija Stojiljkovic and Dusan Majstorovic were also suspended for telling Maine’s head trainer Ryan Taylor that Pirovic was injured falling in the shower. They were reinstated to the team on Wednesday. --- And somewhere, Geno Smith just opened his previously reconstructed jaw and took the deepest of breathes. I wouldn't go as far as saying that a starting quarterback in the NFL whose career careened off the rails forever after a run-in with his own teammate's fist should feel vindicated by a couple of college athletes head hunting each other over Apple music stations. However - when it comes to ridiculous injuries obtained by in-fighting - at least now his miserable story has company, and that's really all you can ask for when you get knocked out over a couple hundred dollars worth of debt as a multi-millionaire. Other than the inherent hilarity of watching two college bros come to blows over the AUX cord, do you what's funny about this story? The fact that these guys feel so damn stupid about what transpired, but if you put them in that same situation again you would get the same result. Two kids playing awful basketball at a hockey school with a campus that can't possibly make up for the dreadful weather and lack sundresses? Those frustrations were bound to result in fisticuffs at some point, and - though it seems absolutely absurd that it was over pop culture preferences - the last thing you would want to do as a member of a 6-24 team in the continental equivalent of Alaska is listen to that type shit you don't like. I imagine Maine's basketball season to be like one long road trip with your buddies. It starts out great. Everyone is getting/singing along, everything seems promising, and it feels as though it might fly by too fast. Then the novelty wears off as bad weather approaches, you nail a few potholes, change a couple tires, and realize how much longer you have to go. Then by the time the final stretch comes around everyone can't wait to get out of the fucking car so they can finally appreciate each other's company again. This fight was basically the fight that would take place if you were in the last leg of a 15 hour drive and the person in the passenger seat hit repeat on a song that he knew the driver hated. I'm not excusing this type of behavior, but - after putting it that way - I kinda, sorta understand it....  
There's two ways you could view this situation. On one hand, awwwwwwwwwkward. Giving a guy the old reassuring slap on the ass and reinforcing his faith that he'll remain with the organization that gave him his second chance mere seconds before he's slipped an international ticket to Toronto? Ironically enough, that's the type of circumstance that would make anyone "wanna get away" on the next Southwest flight. On the other hand, a bright eyed, bushy tailed kid just got a first hand look at how much of a business the NBA can be, and he didn't even need to pack his bags and change cities to do so. It was super naive of Devin Booker to think there couldn't possibly be an aftershock once the clock struck deadline, but you can rest assured that he won't be making that mistake in the future with how unforgettably dumb he felt in that moment. Going from being the voice of irrational confidence for a teammate to being completely lost for words with one bad breaking of news? That's the type of uncomfortableness that sticks with a player for his entire career, and it's the type of uncomfortableness that even the most secure of veterans feel as the trade deadline approaches. Devin Booker will now be prepared for anything come late February, and he only had to be mildly responsible for making the sinking of someone else's heart undergo a slightly steeper drop to cash that reality check. He probably still feels pretty shitty for getting P.J. Tucker's hopes up, but having to move abruptly to an unfamiliar country is quite the "better him than me" situation - even if Toronto is professionally preferable to Phoenix. 
When I saw the description of what happened I really wanted to believe that it wasn't going to be as bad as it was. Not only because I am a Rutgers alum that wanted to give in to my inclination to credit the Scarlet Knights for making a heady defensive play, but because women's athletics have a hard enough time getting respect without loop, swoop, and pulling in more criticism with unforced fuckery. Unfortunately, I can't pretend that steal wasn't one that any defender worth their salt would have made about 3 seconds earlier just like I can't ignore the fact that that particular play would never happen in the men's game. Seriously ladies, help me help you. I don't want to look down on women's basketball just because a 100 game winning streak by their preeminent program can hardly get my attention, but I have no choice but to poke fun when females are the ones constantly responsible for transcendent acts of stupidity on the hardwood. I mean, that girl can stop working on her bunny ears and throw on a dunce cap, because - taking gender out of the equation - that was one of dumbest things I have seen in a sport that isn't typically home to the most brainy of individuals. Even J.R. Smith scratched his head watching this clip, because the guy that once left the court mid-defensive possession to dap someone up knows that you should only lean down to un-tie shoes during gameplay. I honestly don't think I am asking too much here. All they have to do is stop actively trying to get the top spot on the blooper reel and I'll blindly defend women's hoops as if the inability to dunk or score with any consistency whatsoever are the only thing separating it from men's hoops. |
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