Obviously my inclination is to side with the professional hockey team over the high-end fashion designer. After all, one plays a sport I happen to love, and the other steals things that aren't theirs, does a piss poor job repurposing them, and still somehow manages to sell them for about 25-30x what they are actually worth. I'm about as close to lacing them up and taking the ice with the best players from across the globe as I am to dropping a stack on a goddamn sweater, so I should feel comfortable saying FUCK Versace. That is very clearly a bastardized version of the Vancouver Canucks logo and they damn well know.

Speaking of bastardized versions of the Vancouver Canucks logo...

Yeaaaah. Kind of hard for me to be overly sympathetic when the organization that was ripped off willingly ditched what was undoubtedly their best look ages ago. It's almost as if they threw their classic uniforms in the dumpster and let them sit there for decades as the colors faded before some high classhole came across them while taking out his own garbage for the first time in his life, snatched them up after tossing out the remainder of his organic kale smoothie, cut the logo out, rotated it, threw it on some outrageously overpriced piece of fabric, and labeled it 'vintage'.

As much as I want to hate Versace for profiting off fairly blatant plagiarism, I'm going to have to consider this a "one man's trash is another man's treasure" situation. Make no mistake, the throwback Canucks' jerseys are a national treasure, and it's about damn time somebody (over)valued them as such. Even if that somebody is a company that caters to snobs who are more likely to spend triple figures on a tee shirt than understand how icing works. 

Moment of silence. No longer gone or forgotten, just gentrified...

​For those who aren't overly concerned with doing the impossible in satisfying everybody, let me rephrase...

"In a show of neutered neutrality that emulates the one that Jerry Jones first ran by Donald Trump, the #Saints will spread their cheeks and sit on the fence."

I've tried to discuss this topic in a fairly intellectual way since it's completely taken over the news cycle. But it's Friday, I'm insanely tired of talking about it, and I'd prefer to start viewing Drew Brees as the Saints' only hope in getting to .500 for the first time since the last time the POTUS had a respectably sized penis instead of the nauseatingly neutral spokesperson for nationalism, so I'm just going to go ahead and say it....

This decision reeks to the highest of heavens. It's total fucking garbage that is complicit in changing the narrative originally set forth by Colin Kaepernick. I'd rather every member of the New Orleans Saints robotically stand by themselves and at attention with their hand over their heart while the National Anthem plays, because at least that wouldn't create the facade of a "protest". 

Whatever. Promote "solidarity". Preach "unity". Those of us with a functioning brain will continue to realize that what you're really doing is completely compromising a cause on behalf of those who dragged the military into the conversation because they were uncomfortable having it.

So, before I go back to being a Drew Brees' fanboy, I leave you with this...

Hmm, that sounds legitimate. Perhaps if I didn't watch a single second of the first half then I could buy that Mike Glennon tried to manage the game, but the scoreboard became lopsided due to a lack of big plays from the Bears offense and a lack of stops from the Bears defense. After all, Aaron Rodgers is really good and the Bears receivers are...well...not. Hypothetically speaking, it wouldn't require a colossal meltdown for Chicago to be down to Green Bay 21-7 at the half, so let's take a look at the "highlights" to see an NFL analyst's personal standard for "efficiency"...
​

Oh.

Well, I guess this is a sign that one of two things are happening. Either the league-wide quarterback performances have been so catastrophic that any play that doesn't literally result in six points for the other team has become the "safe" play, orrrr Deion Sanders has begun penning his game notes at noon so that he can spend more time staring into a mirror between the whistles. Oddly enough, I think the chances of either being the case are about equal. I don't know if that's more of an indictment of Mike Glennon and every other NFL passer that is capable of turning the ball over with their knee cap, or more of an indictment of a level of analysis that has become predicated on the use of empty cliches and repetitive keywords. However, one thing is for certain, the fact that a former professional football player referred to a quarterback who had three turnovers in thirty minutes as "effective" is an indictment of somebody.

​

​h/t TheComeback

I'm not going to pretend to know what kind of underwhelming offers the Knicks received for Carmelo Anthony. I just wonder whether or it is at all possible that they decided to go with the underwhelming offer from the man who apparently spent the summer mastering the wizardry required to get teams to accept underwhelming offers solely out of spite. At first I just thought the Rockets simply didn't have enough to give up to get Carmelo, but considering what the Knicks ended up taking? I think I'm inclined to say that a lack of non-laughable return wasn't what kept him out of Houston, but rather some sick and twisted satisfaction that the Knicks got from refusing him his first choice.

That might sound crazy considering Melo ended up in situation that is just as good - if not better - for his skill set and championship aspirations, but think about the organization we are talking about here. Is the possibility really that remote that they considered a defensive downgrade from their defensive liability the slightest of moral victories over the man whose no trade clause potentially fried Phil Jackson's brain beyond recognition? If so, then give me a reason that's better than "James Dolan is an insecure little man with an unproportionally-sized ego that refuses to let anyone tell him what to do" for taking on Enes Kanter's contract instead of...well...almost anything the Rockets had to offer.

TribLive- The Pirates are dealing with fallout after Pittsburgh rapper Wiz Khalifa pretended to smoke a marijuana joint on the pitcher's mound at PNC Park on Wednesday night. 

"Marijuana is a probated substance in all of our drug programs and it is unfortunate this situation occurred," MLB spokesman Pat Courtney said on Thursday via email. "The Pirates have informed us that this should not have happened."

Khalifa, 27, who was born Cameron Jibril Thomaz, was invited to throw out a ceremonial first pitch before the game against the Baltimore Orioles. Wearing a shirt with "Legalize it" emblazoned on the front, Khalifa, who attended Taylor Allderdice High School, paused for photos and autographs with chairman Bob Nutting, manager Clint Hurdle and several players.

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I'm not even sure what to make of this, since Wiz Khalifa advocating the puff-puff-pass lifestyle was a foregone conclusion the second he accepted an invite to go literally anywhere outside of his house. I do, however, find the juxtaposition of hip hop's most lovable pot head to sports most repressed league to be rather hilarious. I'm sure at least some people within the Pittsburgh Pirates organization knew exactly what they were signing up for, but I love the MLB's insistence on doing damage control for the perceived promotion of a recreational drug that is bound to be universally legalized sooner rather than later.

Like, I imagine that beads of sweat started forming on the foreheads of their public relations team because 6 parents with children that are approximately 4 years away with hitting blunts in the park with their friends were offended because a tatted up rapper glorified the act of doing so. As far as I am concerned, any reaction was an overreaction to the overreaction of a handful of overly strict parents whose kids are undoubtedly going to smoke pot regardless of whether or not the ceremonial first pitch thrower at a Pirates' game had its slogan on his t-shirt. That said, the mental image of how that overreaction probably went down did put a smile on my face.

WashingtonPost- “You media people will be happy to see I’ve got your names and faces here on a printout,” Cousins told new WUSA sports anchor Darren Haynes during a tour of his locker, while showing him said printout. “So I can hopefully remember all your names as you guys change from year to year.”

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Can niceness be considered a con? Is being well-mannered something that's ever been thrown into the 'weakness' category on a scouting report? I don't want to speak for an organization whose decision making is as historically offensive as their logo, but is it possible that their quarterback's commitment to cordiality has the Redskins' re-reading their long term contract offer like it's a confession of love letter that remains unsent before slipping it right back into the bottom drawer of their desk?

I'm not saying that Kirk Cousins is the greatest passer in the league, but - considering he's capable of not throwing away more than 8 games a season by himself - he's probably in the top half of starters. I don't know if I'd want to pay the 800 bajillion dollar market value for him, but it just seems like there is something other than his talent that is holding them back. Like, I picture a scenario in which Dan Snyder walks in the locker room to discuss a long term deal with Kirk Cousins and comes to the conclusion that he absolutely CANNOT be "the guy" when he finds him using his off day to draw lines between faces and names of local reporters like he were filling out the section that the lazy teacher always included on the test in middle school. The team owner just walking away from its starting quarterback shaking his head after finding him rifling through notecards so as to never let a single journalist feel less than more than welcome. 

​There's a less than zero percent chance that interaction ever came to fruition, but there was probably some conversation in which his inability to be intimidating left them feeling less than generous financially. It's almost as if Kirk Cousins' personality makes him predisposed to being taken advantage of....even though I would bend over, grab my ankles, and scream "YOU LIKE THAT!" if being taken advantage of could net me over 23 million this year. 

I can’t imagine what kind of social media attacks these cameramen must be enduring after taking a knee during the anthem and wearing a hat. #unity #equalityforall #love #cometogether #invitationtojoin

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I have to be honest, that was shockingly easy. Like, personally, I would have pointed to the thousands of people still wandering the concourse looking for the quickest way to get a hot dog, or those who had their precious idea of "patriotism" (more accurately, nationalism) compromised by opinionated athletes responding to the National Anthem in a variety of ways as they emptied their beer battered bladders into a group trough. Apparently that's my bad, because all we really had to was look 5 feet in front of the "spoiled millionaire athletes" who were "disrespecting the flag" to see all the other widely accepted forms of abject disrespect that have gone unspoken for goddamn decades.

Think about that for a minute. Aaron Rodgers took like two seconds out of his day as an NFL quarterback and was able to turn the mirror on the people who live in some fantasy land where every fan is in his/her seat 10 minutes prior to kickoff ready to stand and salute at a moment's notice. Now, of course those people are too willfully blind to see what's in it, but - man - is the reflection not a surefire sign of just how deep the double standards run on this subject? 

Truthfully, I feel bad for the camera guys. I can't hate on Aaron Rodgers choice of target since he was looking to unearth the duplicity in a timely manner, but they didn't deserve to get dragged into this. I don't know what an NFL videographer makes, but I think they would argue that's not enough if they knew they were now required to fall on the sword for every vehement opposer of the National Anthem protests. Poor guy just threw on a cap hoping to avoid getting sunburn on what is likely a balding head, and all the sudden he's the personification of hypocrisy. Have to imagine he'd very much like to take back control of the narrative through his lens.  

To the diehard fan that refuses to have his sports experience impinged upon by politics even after politics just kicked down sports' door and dragged it's tiny ass feet all over the couch, this concept serves as a gift from God. Okay, it's not so much "god" as it is some 80 year old honky tonk with an unkempt beard, and it's not so much a "concept" as it is a glimpse into the life of someone who is about 15 years removed from having to know what day of the week it is. Still, as far as phony, holier-than-thou showings of strong will are concerned, I can't think of one that requires less sacrifice than boycotting professional football on days in which professional football is not being played. 

Sure, it's a tad disingenuous to have your cake and eat it too, all while posting about your paleo diet on every available public platform, but if you're trying to make your statement look less sanctimonious than dedicating four out of every seven days to doing so is pretty commendable. That's over half the week in which you wouldn't have to lie to yourself, and - mathematically speaking - how many people can truly say their honest with themselves over 57% of the time? To those that need everyone to know just how irrationally infuriated they are by seeing the First Amendment take aim at their inherent comfortability, I urge you to not treat this tweet as just the inevitably hilarious byproduct of the elderly and technology. Instead, treat it as a blueprint for how to watch your precious football from atop some illusionary moral high ground that allows you to look past the fact that most of people playing it experience a version of America that isn't just Stars & Stripes.

Alright guys, pass me the fork and knife, because this crow ain't going to eat itself. Sprinkle all those words I said about Jerry Jones sitting so hard on the fence that he's no longer in need of a colonoscopy on my foot, because it's prime for my mouth. Just goes to show, you should never read too much into one picture, 1,000 words seemingly attached or not.

Sure, the NFL owner who financially backed Trump looked straight into that camera more happy with himself than an internet troll that just anonymously baited a public figure into responding on social media, but that was probably just a product of the lighting. After all, nothing speaks to the validity of the Cowboys' "protest" quite like its target's role in helping to plan out the ridiculously compromising details. Some might say that having Trump weigh in with a series of incessant phone calls that would make a paranoid teenage girlfriend put her phone on silent completely undercut the purpose of the message. Those people clearly don't realize that a message can only be made more powerful by having the behind-the-scenes support of the most powerful person in the free world....even if the most powerful person in the free world is a known jackass whose divisive words were the sole cause of the entire fucking demonstration in the first place. 

In all seriousness, I'm not going to pretend that I am shocked that Donald Trump is a coward, but the idea of him biting the nails on his baby hands as he anxiously bounces on the edge of his bed while trying to get through to fellow good old boy Jerry Jones is a welcomed surprise. The fact that it ultimately resulted in the neutering of what was an undeniable example of the First Amendment in action is not, but - hey - sometimes you have to acquiesce to your...::clears throat::...privileged superiors, am I right?! That's why I'll just take what I can get, and bask in the hilarity of Donald Trump - ironically enough - getting on his proverbial knee in begging for a favor from his political connect. Nothing like a guy igniting a forest fire then showing up two days later with one bucket of water looking to put it out. That's almost as disingenuous as Jerry Jones' show of "solidarity". 

Welp, looks like we owe our old friend Ray Lewis an apology. Turns out that - in this one, stand alone instance - he didn't talk out of both sides of his mouth by shaming Colin Kaepernick for kneeling one month, and then literally doubling down on that very same action the next. Instead, he's merely a victim of circumstance. 

When you really think about it, it's an indictment of us that we assumed that the man who dropped to the ground during the playing of the National Anthem and had his arms linked with two players while they were protesting racial injustices/being called a sons of bitches was - indeed - making himself part of that protest. If there's anything I know about the dialogue that pertains to the saluting of the American flag it's that a premium has been put on nuance, so we really should have devoted more time to understanding the difference between dropping to one knee and dropping to two. For those that don't have it in them to watch Ray Lewis continue to make his mindless babble appear more legitimate by preaching it instead of it speaking it, here's a little lesson for ya...

One knee = Unforgivable disrespect to the troops, the country, the flag, your organization, your teammates, your family, and yourself.

Two knees = Undeniable acknowledgement of Jesus Christ's potential existence.

Sorry Ray, that's our bad.  We'll have to make sure we educate ourselves before jumping to any more conclusions of hypocrisy about the intentions of someone who has never failed in using God as his scapegoat. I'm sure the city that erected a goddamn statue for someone who - at the very least - was an accomplice to murder will echo that apology...

​Look, I'm not even mad at Lou Holtz' senile ass for thinking that being black in America is analogous to wearing a Matt Leinart jersey in South Bend, Indiana. That crazy old bastard went "out to lunch" years ago and ​hasn't fully returned since. He's now an 80 year old bag of bones that's over a decade into speaking a brand of English that would make Daffy Duck say "what did hell did you juth thay?" about 12 times before helplessly nodding his beak in defeat. I can't get upset with a known bigot whose lips are looser than his bladder and whose views make Donald Trump's take two steps to the left like they are dancing to a Beyonce song. Honestly, if you were surprised by just how poorly he disguised that blatant trivialization as laughable empathy then you must not know 'bout Lou, you must not know 'bout Lou. 

Still, can we maybe get a microphone out of the face of someone that's capable of getting Jason Whitlock to bite his own lip with a dangerously detrimental, racially charged comparison that implied that old white men understand the plight of the people whose ownership they used to encourage? I know 'Fox News' has an agenda to push, but Jason Whitlock feeds on regurgitated ignorance like the world's most overweight baby bird, and even he was like "yup, just going to tuck this here lip up under these here teeth because this batty old white man is on some other shit". Can't we just leave Lou Holtz' antiquated system of beliefs that was adopted decades before he needed an adult diaper to die without dissemination? I mean, he just shocked FS1's very own Jim Crow into chomping on something that didn't stand to satisfy his never-ending appetite for bullshit. The alone should be enough reason to take the batteries out of his mic and lock him in a broom closet until this racial unrest gets turned down a notch or two. 

TheComeback- Well four referees in Malawi have been banned for life for accepting a bribe to fix a cup match in the African country. But the story just starts from there.

In a national cup match in Malawi, refs Aziz Nyirenda, Limbani Chisambi, Stephano Gomani and Jimmy Phiri were given $20 by Nchalo United to defeat Chitipa United. The problem was that Nchalo wasn’t able to defeat Chitipa. The two teams drew 1-1 and Nchalo lost in penalties. Because Nchalo didn’t get what they paid for, they demanded their money back. And after the refs could find only $15, Nchalo reported them.

Because referee behavior has been a problem in Malawi, penalties are strict, and the four officials would be banned for life. Chisambi denies any wrongdoing but is still connected to the referee crew, so it’s irrelevant whether he did or didn’t engage in the fix. At the moment, Nchalo hasn’t received punishment for bribery, but the team is being investigated.

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Well I, for one, am absolutely stunned that soccer referees in Malawi accepted a bribe to fix a match without having a lenient refund policy in place. Just outrageous that the type of people that would be willing to compromise the integrity of their sport for a $20 handshake wouldn't have the integrity to return that $20 when failing to uphold the stipulations of that handshake. 

Look, I don't know how good of a job these officials did in fixing this match. Considering that Nchalo United felt compelled to pay-per-'W'  in the first place, it's quite possible that they are bad beyond bribery. That said, it wouldn't have mattered if the officials pocketed their whistles right along with their new found finances, because purchasing calls is like purchasing drugs...you get what you get and you shut up and make the best out of it. I don't know how the standings work in African soccer leagues but the team that couldn't buy their way into the win column should probably just be happy that the referees kept it close and got it to penalty kicks, because they weren't even required to do that after that money changed hands. An oral agreement is about as binding as every word that comes out of the mouth of Donald Trump, so you might as grab your proverbial pussy and go home if your looking for a rebate from racketeering referees. 

I guess I'm fine with these refs getting eternally kicked out of the league for receiving kickbacks, but the team that rendered their help useless should probably follow suit. After all, by expecting the crooked officials to kick the ball in the net for them they basically did the athletic equivalent of buying a blender and then returning it as "broken" when they failed to hold the top in place as their smoothie sprayed all over the kitchen. 

Man, basketball is really going to miss Rick Pitino. I honestly can't think of one single person who was more concerned with upholding the values, traditions, and what little else is actually "good" and genuine about collegiate athletics. If you completely ignore the fact that he didn't consider any of the rules and regulations applicable to him, then he is actually the perfect candidate to champion for ever-decreasing integrity amongst the NCAA. 

That's why this video of a freshly re-re-disgraced Rick Pitino reprimanding reporters for being somewhere they shouldn't be in coverage of someone that's done almost everything he shouldn't do is so perfect. His high horse might have four broken legs, but you can bet your ass that short, hypocritical Italian man is still going to take advantage of one of his last opportunities to scream from atop it. You tell them Ricky! Slick back that head of hair and point them off the property baby! Doesn't matter that you're no longer welcome on that property after turning it into a breeding ground for personal and organizational corruption, because - considering the termination of your contract requires 10 days notice - you can still technically legislate it one last time! Public infidelity, team funded prostitution, and paid recruitment be damned, because you, nameless reporter, don't belong here!!!

Ah man, Rick Pitino is really taking after his own semen in shamefully leaving prematurely. Going to miss him blatantly contradicting his words with almost each and every one of his actions...

There are two things to discuss here. The decision to quit singing the National Anthem for the Baltimore Ravens, and the manner in which Joey Odoms chose to do it. Since the former is more interesting than the latter we'll start from the back and work our way on up.

I don't want the following to come as a slight against a veteran. I mean it will, because apparently those who have fought for our freedoms have been reduced to pawns in an overly emotional game of multi-cultural chess, but I don't want it to. Regardless, the decision to make his resignation "official" by way of social media is insanely counterproductive move if what he was really trying to do was quietly remove himself from the newfound contentiousness of an NFL stadium. Like, he might as was have followed "and the home of the braaaaave!" with "I'm black and proud to have served this country, but fuck this shit...I'm outtie", because he basically cut the music only to declare (perceived) neutrality. Just seems like a super weird thing to do as someone who prioritized dismissing himself from the conversation altogether. I think even he would agree since he's since deleted the post. 

More importantly, I can totally sympathize with his decision to walk away. An African American who served overseas? Jesus Christ, this poor bastard might as well have been Larry David in the Palestinian chicken episode...

I don't know how we got to a place where yearning for the equal rights of minorities and respecting the efforts of those who put their lives on the line in the name of those rights became an 'either/or' situation, but it sure as shit feels like that's the moronic crossroads that we've reached. Meanwhile, Joey Odoms was standing in the middle of the intersection innocently (and fruitlessly) trying to bring everyone together by way of song while both sides were too busy arguing over the "proper" way to acknowledge said song.

Analogously speaking, all he wanted to do was eat some delicious chicken, fuck a super hot anti-semite, and not end up renounced by the entirety of the Jewish faith. Now his talented vocal cords are forced to go to waste on the bench because he didn't want to pick between two of his favorite "teams". As much as I think he would have ultimately benefitted from not giving someone like me the opportunity to discuss it, I pity him for being placed in the middle of culture war as the proverbial bipartisan bell ringer that was probably being viewed as if his recruitment were still open .

And this is how you know the entire message has become completely bastardized by the minds of those that disagree with it. There's no chance in hell Chief Paul Smith realizes that in saving his position with nothing more than a Chappelle-esque "sorry, I...I...didn't know I couldn't do that" and a nonsensical disclaimer about him being on vacation after using a racial slur on thee most public of platform he basically exercised the same white privilege that Colin Kaepernick initially sat in protest of...

Seriously, if there anything more caucasian than slamming the enter key on an N-bomb on Facebook, and then turning around and being like "yeaaaaah, so that was my bad"?

Oddly enough, it would actually be a lesser case of the dangerously fatal institutional racism that instigated the protests if he just doubled down on his "yes, I said it" with a "and I gosh darned meant it". What he actually did was give a bullshit apology in exchange for a prejudice pass in a profession that requires him to save people regardless of their skin color. If that's not an undeniable example of the ACTUAL problem that has become an afterthought in the petty pining over what constitutes true patriotism then I don't know what the fuck is.

We are going to continue bitching about the proper way to conduct oneself in the presence of a flag and a song while Chief Bigoty Bill is out there making a list of "no good n*ggers" whose lives might literally end up in his hands at some point. Think about that. 

​Uhhhh, I'm gonna leave this one to Ari Gold...

Honestly, this is an extremely weird topic for the journeyman bust to broach when he's fresh off the heels of calling Stephen A. Smith a liar for making him the subject of one his patented "weeeeed-uh" rants...

"He's a liar, bro," Beasley said. "I love the words he uses, I love how adamant he is, especially when he's wrong because if you're not going to stand for yourself, who is going to stand for you? Cool. But it's like literally, I've sat next to guys he was on the TV talking about, and (Smith's) saying, 'Man, I just got off the phone with this guy.' And literally, I'm next to that guy he's talking about, and he says, 'Man, I've never even been in a room with Stephen A.' Why does what you say have credibility when literally everybody knows you're lying about it?"

​I don't mean to say that Michael Beasley would have to have just smoked to get into a full fledged argument about the percentage of the brain required to discuss brain percentages, but Mary Jane's damage would definitely already had to have been done. Like, if he truly is off the green and this wasn't some faded realization then that 10% of his brain that he uses is perma-fried. I guess - going by his hallucinogenic logic - he would need to have 11% of his brain available to him to become self aware that he's forever stoned, but he's not making a great case that he isn't by speaking whatever otherworldly shit is on 10% of the mind of a man that chose to go on TV with a watch on three of his four limbs.

Unfortunately, the one thing my skin color hasn't disproportionally afforded me is the ability to effectively over-analyze peaceful protests of societal injustices. I suppose that hasn't stopped a bunch of fair-skinned 'Super Americans' from taking liberties with the legitimacy of a cause that couldn't possibly effect them any less. I, on the other hand, don't view Patriotism through the lens of red, white, and blue novelty sunglasses, nor do I have an understanding of the First Amendment that leaves you shocked that I'm not drooling out the side of my mouth as I try to explain it. That's why I'll leave the judging of the legitimacy of the Dallas Cowboys' organization-wide statement to those who are more racially inclined to do so. However, let me just say this...that face is not the face of a man making any moral concessions...

That look is not of someone that realizes the severity of the issues plaguing certain citizens of this country. That look is of someone that reinforced his business interests by humoring his athletes by taking a knee without offending his political connects by remaining that way throughout the waving of a flag and the playing of a the song that his President has used as pawns to further drive a wedge through this nation. I'm not entirely sure what it's supposed to look like when a multi-billionaire feels truly humbled, but it damn sure isn't supposed to look like he's a central figure in a TV show that has only broken the 4th wall to drive home the point that the main character is obnoxiously pleased with himself. I mean, even considering the fact that it's coming from the NFL equivalent of a snake oil salesman, that's a shockingly condescending smirk. 

Again, I'm not one to critique anyone's protest, but - since I don't think that a pre-anthem showing of solidarity meets the qualifications of a "protest" - I'm just going to go ahead and say that the demeanor of the person who selfishly placed himself at the center of it basically neutered the demonstration's impact. I think that much is "real obvious"...

NYDailyNews- The FBI on Tuesday charged NCAA coaches from basketball programs across the country in an alleged bribery scheme.

Four assistant coaches — Auburn’s Chuck Person, Oklahoma State’s Lamont Evans, Arizona’s Emanuel Richardson, and Anthony Bland of USC — face charges of fraud and corruption for allegedly bribing high school students, according to court documents.

Six other defendants have also been charged, among them Jim Gatto, the director of global sports marketing at Adidas, as well as other managers and financial advisors. 

"In addition to the bribery and fraud scheme described herein," the federal complaint states, "the investigation has revealed additional instances of bribe payments to coaches at NCAA Division I universities, as well as a related scheme involving significant cash payments by athlete advisors, and executives of at least one athletic apparel company, to the families of high-school student-athletes, at the request of basketball coaches at two NCAA Division I universities, in exchange for agreements by those athletes to attend the universities and later to sign with the advisors and apparel company who made the bribes.

A press conference with Acting U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York Joon H. Kim is scheduled for noon Tuesday in Manhattan.

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Wait, are you telling me that the billion dollar business that is high level, Division 1 college athletics is rife with corruption and undisclosed compensation towards athletes that are predominantly struggling financially otherwise? WHY I NEVER....thought I would see the day in which we all forgot the important life lessons taught to us by 'Blue Chips'.

I wish I could say I was surprised to hear that an athletic apparel company that has shot up the ranks in an unforeseen fashion and a couple of schools that are desperate for high end basketball talent were caught wetting each other's whistle in bed together. Unfortunately, acting like that sense of astonishment were anything but fabricated would make former fictional Western head coach Pete Bell (as played by Nick Nolte) throw a chair across the court like the loose cannon that he was loosely based on. 

Let's put it simply; I read this story, shrugged my shoulders, thought to myself "well, that makes perfect sense", and - above all else - that's quite the hat tip to Nike. Think about it his way, Nike is the power hitter that's encroaching on historical home run numbers without suspicion, and Adidas is the dude who is about 20 dingers in his rearview that's on the syringe end of every needle in the ass joke. Credit to Adidas, who has taken a significant step up in cultural relevance as of late, but you don't catch up to Usain Bolt without resorting to devious means to give yourself a little jolt. Their "roster" got significantly stronger so quickly that they almost had to have circumvented the salary cap, so to speak. Nike was always the baddest bitch in school, and then all the sudden some girl she grew up with started challenging her for attention out of nowhere? Of course that girl was using a little bit of makeup to cover up her blemishes. 

Oh well, I guess this just goes to show that if you're going to be a multi-national brand that pays people under the table then make sure those people do their work overseas in a sweatshop, and not on national television. 

Ah, the ultimate Catch-22 of facing Cam Newton. On one hand, he'll forever be considered an MVP caliber quarterback (due to that one time he won MVP) so you want to consider it a good sign of things to come when you make him look like a bum while holding him to just over a 150 yards through the air and turning him over three different times. On the other hand, he's still an overrated, wildly inconsistent passer who played the vast majority of the game without his top two weapons in the passing game so it doesn't exactly undue the damage that was done by the Patriots a week earlier.

The instinctual plays made on the ball that resulted in all three interceptions make me want to believe that this particular defense does have more talent and cohesiveness than those that came before it, but I'll keep my optimism cautious until I see at least one more repeat performance. The ways in which Sam goddamn Bradford and Tom Brady defiled the Saints' secondary won't soon be forgotten - especially since they so closely resembled the nightmare that has been reoccurring since 2014 - so they are going to have to do a wee bit more than slap around Scam to regain the trust that they managed to lose faster than their first two games. Kenny Vaccaro looked like his benching lit a fuse under his ass, Ken Crawley proved - at the very least - it was a mistake to have him standing on the sidelines, and P.J. Williams finally followed through on years of unfulfilled promise by making a game changing play. Now, if they can repeat that while someone more accurate than Cam Newton is throwing the football then we'll really have something to get excited about. 

The offense, on the other hand, was a welcomed improvement. Surely their versatility had more than a little to do with the fact that they weren't one punt away from being down three scores at any given time, but they still seemed to develop a rhyme and reason that wasn't there in previous weeks. Hopefully the return of Willie Snead will only to stand to increase their effectiveness and give Michael Thomas a long overdue break from the bracket coverage he's almost exclusively been facing. The running game finally produced some big plays, and Drew Brees looked like Drew Brees we've come to know instead of the beleaguered veteran that was resigned to marching helplessly off the field for the umpteenth time after being let down by his teammates. As if it were a question. the offense shouldn't be as much of a question going forward.

Hypothetically speaking, this should all bode well for a team that looks to be returning their #2 wide receiver and their stud of a rookie corner against a team that's coming off a decisive loss to a roster that was built to lose. However, letting a Dolphins team that hit rock bottom get back up off the mat would be par for the course for the Saints as of late. For that reason, I'll stay level headed. The funeral for Sean Payton's tenure has been temporarily put on hold, but - for now - we'll continue to let the parlor hold onto the deposit. 

The win felt good, and Cam Jordan's postgame zingers served as quite the cherry on top, but - until further notice - there's not too much to take away from it other than a much needed victory...

They said a professional sport that's predominantly made up of people who are the color of the surface it's played on couldn't possibly get any whiter. They said a league that has a racial ratio that makes New Hampshire seem diverse couldn't possibly get any more nauseatingly caucasian. They said a business that's failed in hysterical fashion when it comes to expanding it's outreach couldn't possibly be any less in touch with obvious social cues...

::suspenseful sound effect::

They were wrong.

In a weird way, I'm actually relieved an NHL team made a complete mockery of the league as a whole  by zigging when teams in sports that do have to concern themselves with the Constitutional rights of minorities were zagging. I was dreading having to defend hockey for it's inherent whiteness if/when not one member of the Pittsburgh Penguins turned down the opportunity to fluff the President's tiny penis by way of a forced photo-op. Luckily for me, tweeting an RSVP to the prejudice propaganda party on the same exact day in which athletes everywhere were kneeling in solidarity against the host is so incredibly indefensible that I now longer have to. Sorry NHL, but - thanks to the Pittsburgh Penguins  inability to read a room - you're on your own here.

The truth is, I don't think visiting the White House unquestionably equates to supporting the beliefs of the person who is currently reaching peak narcissism inside of it. That is, until your organization makes it seem like you are doing that person a favor by coming to his aide when damn near every business of a similar practice is actively distancing themselves from his divisive drivel. It's not that the Pittsburgh Penguins are wrong for agreeing to a tour around a historical landmark, but the timing in which they did so is so disgracefully tone deaf that the old, white idiots that made the decision might as well have literally sung the praises of the President.

P.S. I do have to give them credit for including the picture with Obama. It was very "I have a friend that is black, see?!?" of them.