Kellen Winslow's Accusers Couldn't Identify Him As Their Attacker In Court, And I Wonder Why That Is...
PFT- The preliminary hearing has commenced in the criminal case against former NFL tight end Kellen Winslow II. As explained by FOX 5 in San Diego, the prosecution may have a problem.
Three of the unnamed witnesses who allegedly had interactions with Winslow under suspicious and/or criminal circumstances could not identify him in court.
Jane Doe 3, a 58-year-old woman, said that a man named “David” entered her property and “dropped his shorts and exposed himself.” However, she could not identify Winslow as the man who committed those acts.
71-year-old Jane Doe 4 heard about Winslow’s arrest while watching the news on TV in early June, and she thought he was the same man who had entered her home a day earlier. She could not confirm in court, however, that Winslow was the man she saw in her home.
Jane Doe 1, a 54-year-old transient, was lured into a Hummer and raped in March. However, she too could not positively identify Winslow as the assailant while testifying in court.
(Coincidentally (or not), the Kellen Winslow who appeared in court on Wednesday doesn’t look much like the Kellen Winslow we’ve become accustomed to seeing over the years. Instead, he looks more like Steve Urkel.)
Another woman who allegedly was raped by Winslow is expected to testify in court on Thursday. If she can’t identify Winslow, it could be difficult for the prosecution to convince the presiding judge that enough evidence exists to justify taking the case to trial. If the victims are unable to identify the attacker at trial, it will be difficult to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.
Wait, wait, wait...WHAT?!? As a society that's become enthralled with murder mysteries, I feel like we've all developed a somewhat unsettling appreciation for violent crimes. However, as someone who has sacrificed many a late night to binging the justice system's biggest loads of bullshit, even I can't believe that going full-Extreme Makeover in covering your tracks is an indisputable defense for the perfect one.
As guilty as the length of his rap(e) sheet makes him look, Kellen Winslow is still innocent until proven so. That said, making himself nearly unrecognizable to the people that used to watch him give postgame pressers, never mind the senior citizens that didn't have a chance to grab their reading glasses before he (allegedly) sexually assaulted them, cannot be his get out of jail free card.
We all know Clark Rent didn't take a break from going door-to-door selling the word of the Lord to forcibly penetrate grandmas, but he's not the one that's supposed to be headed to trial here. That distinction belongs to the SuperVillain that was (allegedly) breaking into houses before his alter-ego showed up to court looking housebroken. Of course Adam Schefter's long lost, racially ambiguous brother wasn't preying on the vulnerability of the elderly more shamelessly than the grandchildren they take shopping. This guy, on the other hand...
Kellen Winslow somehow went from looking fin to take your mother from behind to looking fit to take home to her faster than the tone of a Drake album, so I do begrudgingly tip my cap to the transformation. That said, you can call me crazy, but I personally feel as though your best defense against a half dozen rapes being a bizarro world version of yourself should probably make you seem a hell of a lot more guilty than innocent in the eyes of those that don't need to squint and ask "...is that you?" when answering the door.
I'd watch a NetFlix special on it either way, but - for the sake of both due process and the safety of vintagely-aged females far and wide - I'd prefer it star the Kellen Winslow that's defending himself against the embezzlement of granny panties as opposed to the embezzlement of grant payments...
Earl Thomas Wished His (Now Former) Teammate Kam Chancellor The Best Of Luck In Retirement...By Posting An Instagram Of Himself?
In complete contrary to the apparent priorities of Earl Thomas, the thing that I think is most deserving of attention here is Kam Chancellor's heartfelt farewell to professional football. Along with wishing the most bruising member of the 'Legion Of Boom' the best of luck in his future endeavors, it also bears mentioning exactly how bittersweet his 'goodbye' reads...
On one hand, it's great news that NFL players are starting to take heed of the long overdue information regarding head injuries and getting out of the game in one piece. On the other hand, the fact that it took a warning of potential paralysis for "early retirement" to cross the mind of one of the toughest players in the league is a pretty haunting reminder that we basically watch the slow but certain breaking of human bodies on fall Sunday's. I'm glad that Kam Chancellor is making a decision that probably seems far more obvious to those on the outside looking in at organized violence than it does himself, but the fact that he does so with his fingers crossed for the long-term health of his brain really sends a shiver down the spine.
Anyway, on to the more entertaining aspect of this, which is Earl Thomas' (literally) self-centered show of support for the man he roamed a secondary alongside...
In a weird way, I actually appreciate that the caption covers what's taking place in this picture about as well Earl Thomas' t-shirt covers his neckline. I don't even care that it makes it seem as though the Seahawks' safety appears to have more love for his man purse than he does the beaten and battered player with whom he won a Super Bowl. It probably says some not-so-complimentary things about his personality type, but his shameless inability to let others in on his self-love is really just a laughable look into how inherently narcissistic the use of social media is.
Plus, while it's definitely a bit extra to feel a random inclination to arrange "candid" photoshoots in the middle of an airport, I certainly can't say I've ever gone to a length as nonsensically ridiculous in showing someone that I care on the internet. Maybe simply going through my phone and posting an old picture of a friend whose birthday it is actually makes me a bad friend. Ugh, does my failure to pop open Instagram post-tinkle for a Father's Day bathroom selfie make me an ungrateful egomaniac of a son?!?!
P.S. My guess is that he didn't want to post anything Seahawks-affiliated while still at odds with the organization, but I think Earl Thomas probably could have done a better job picturing the person that the post was directed towards. In fact, I know he couldn't have done a worse job.
A Washington Reporter Got Caught Reacting To The Barry Trotz News In The Background Of A Live Senate Hearing
I'd be lying if I told you I fell within 35 channels of being tuned into a Senate hearing, so Lord only knows what I did or didn't miss (seeing as everyone else who watched was probably sleeping through it with their eyes pried open). That said, from what little I caught, I think it's fair to say that we should be applauding Kelly Cohen for not interrupting what was a shockingly slow moving discussion with an on-air aneurysm.
Yet another circular conversation about Russia and collusion that, in all likelihood, leads nowhere but the next circular conversation about Russia and collusion is enough to make even the most savvy of political savant turn into a zombie. So, while the shock was written across her face, I'd say she did a great job containing her heart from leaping out of her chest. That was definitely a possible outcome of stumbling upon the news that the head coach of a Stanley Cup champion was walking away from the organization less than two weeks after bringing them to the promised land for the first time ever while otherwise catatonic.
Now, my jaw didn't exactly hit the floor when I found out, as Todd Reirden appeared ripe to push Barry Trotz out the door all the way up until Barry Trotz was presumed to have blocked said door with a three foot tall trophy that might forever smell like Alexander Ovechkin's beer-soaked beard, but I also hadn't been lulled one step short of a coma at the time. To consider what Kelly Cohen experienced to be a swing of emotions would be to consider the pirate ship ride at your local carnival that leaves your stomach firmed fixed in your esophagus to be a "swing". Therefore, one must credit a professional reporter for handling a taser-like jolt to the system with as much grace as did the head coach that respectfully resigned when his unbelievably fair contract demands weren't met.
A Pirates Announcer Got Duped Into Reading A Hilariously Fake Quote That Was Satirically Attributed To Cubs' Manager Joe Maddon
It's not even necessary to enjoy the hilarity that ensues, but for contextual purposes, this is the controversial play that ultimately resulted in the two polar opposite view points from the opposing managers that followed...
That led to such an outlandishly absurd addendum to one of the above quotes, that no one in their right mind could possibly take it seriously...
The truth is, I can't be too critical of a Major League announcer that was probably just mindlessly reading off whatever screen was put in front of him throughout the 3-4 hours of dead air he's tasked with filling on damn near a daily basis. It was definitely a Ron Burgundy moment, but give me a microphone and the responsibility of engaging an audience for the running time on Titanic and after about 30 minutes I'd be more likely to sound like Brick Tamland than Jim Brockmire. For that reason, I give Pirates' play-by-play guy Greg Brown a pass here.
That said, it is quite the comedic reminder that sarcasm, much like every other language, is not one that is universally understood. The internet can be a confusing place, and that's in large due to the fact that some people are too dumb to decipher things like hyperbole. Again, I'm not saying that Greg Brown is one of them. I am, however, saying that there was easily a handful of followers that were able to put their full focus into the reading of that tweet and still came away questioning whether or not Joe Maddon had ever put in the time-intensive work necessary to plant a tree or build a sand castle. We should get our laughs, because the sincere tone behind the cry for a catcher to instantaneously dig a foxhole to provide himself protection from an errant, unsafe slide is hilarious. Unfortunately, learning the surprising amount of people that had a hard time catching up probably wouldn't be as funny as it would be concerning.
NFL Owners Are Considering The Institution Of A 15 Yard Penalty For Kneeling, Because Apparently NFL Owners Have A Lot More Money Than They Do Memory
Ah yes, because what better way to get "politics" out of your sport than to make a change that makes sure every "political statement" has a direct impact on the playing of your sport. If I know anything about the vast minority of athletes that continued to kneel even when doing so pissed off a demographic of a consumer base that wasn't shy about willfully misinterpreting it as unpatriotic, it's that the potential presence of a weighted yellow flag will make them step back from their stance on police brutality and stand tall for the singing of the National Anthem.
Of course, if they discuss their intent to protest peacefully with their superior prior, like all unwavering supporters of social change tend to do, then the massive threat of a 15-yard penalty could be eliminated by home field advantage. Unfortunately, they might not be so lucky on the road, but what's better than turning the time-honored tradition of "respecting thy country" by way of song into a "will they, won't they"-type spectacle by calling attention to it's newfound divisiveness? Just think about the possibilities. It could become a factor we take into consideration during pre-game analysis like the weather or the wind! Hell, given the new ruling on gambling, we might even be able to bet on whether or not teams come out of the tunnel! The new 'heads or tails', if you will, but instead of one team winning based on luck, we all lose based on endless bickering!
Honestly, even considering how old and white NFL ownership happens to be, it flat out baffles me that they can't see the best solution is to do absolutely nothing and hope that time heals all. The last attempt to stop what was a dwindling amount of players from protesting was made by way of a Presidential threat against their livelihoods, and the only result was that it strengthened an inherently good cause exponentially. So, having dealt with that backlash, the people in charge have conjured up a similar threat, albeit one that's as petty as the disciplining of end zone dances, as the most counterproductive "quick fix" possible? Well, that line of thinking only has as many clear and present gaps as the follicles of the first person who tried, and failed, to institute it!
CJ- The shoe company Skechers is suing Adidas, claiming it was at an unfair disadvantage as a result of the alleged schemes involving the University of Louisville and other colleges that have been revealed during the FBI's investigation into college basketball.
The lawsuit, filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court in California, argued that "illicit payments denied competitors like Skechers who play by the rules a fair opportunity to compete for the cachet of having trend-setting high-school and college athletes seen in their products."
Skechers claimed it "has been harmed due to increased advertising and marketing costs and lost sales, market share and goodwill" as a result of Adidas' actions.
"Skechers and other competitors' basketball businesses cannot effectively compete for players' footwear choices while they are amateurs — or for their endorsements when they turn professional — because Adidas has sought to 'lock up' players by paying secret, illegal bribes to them and/or their families," the lawsuit said.
I'm going to temporarily look past the fact that this lawsuit is so far beyond frivolous that, if possible, the word 'frivolous' would sue me for mildly associating it with this story. I know everyone's initial reaction to reading that Skechers "thinks" that a couple illicit payments are all that stands between them and popularity amongst young, (predominantly) black men is one that likely resembles the face their customers might make when you use the words 'rap' and 'music' in the same sentence.
However, what's far funnier than a company known for their glorified orthopedic shoes presumably keeping a straight face while putting their perfectly supported foot down against the monetization of "amateur" athletics is the idea that a company that's more white and aged-out than racist rhetoric is trying to sue their way into the culture. The mental image of a bunch of swagless, middle-aged white men sitting down and brainstorming ways in which to also profit off the largely urban community and settling on the legal system is so appropriately fitting that it might as well be used in the advertisement for their 2019 line. Skechers thought the best way to expand their reach to a more diverse demographic wasn't to pay out the ass for a member of said demographic to publicly represent their product as their competition has done, but rather to prosecute their competition for already having said reach. For what that lacks in sense, it easily makes up for in reinforcing a stereotype more strongly than the popularity of pumpkin as a flavor.
A Comedian Made A Joke About Draymond Green Getting Shot In The Face Upon Exiting The Arena, And - Wouldn't You Know It - It Didn't Quite Land
You know, you'd think a self-proclaimed "edgy" comedian using his fandom as the premise for a joke that's far more shock value than wit or substance would know better than this. At this point, I'm not surprised by the over-the-top humor turned inevitable apology pattern, but from someone who claims to make his living by way of laughter? This isn't some anonymous troll living up to his egg avatar, or some journalist being a jackass. On the contrary, this would be the equivalent of a journalist not knowing the difference between "your" and "you're". Expressing his up's and down's in a digestible way is literally his occupation, so shamelessly hiding behind the art form might be a pretty good tip off that he's not all that great at said art form.
Andrew Polk's job is to entertain an audience, and he failed so badly in doing so that I can't even figure out who the hell his audience is. Judging by his desire for their versatile, star forward to turn up dead, I'm going to go out on a limb and say he wasn't playing to Warriors fans. However, by bringing up the murder rate of a proud sports' city like New Orleans, he certainly wasn't pandering to the Pelicans fans with whom I'm assuming his rooting interest was aligned. I guess I'm just wondering why he thought his one-in-a-million attempt at using homicide for humor would work for even the half-a-second in which he regrettably pushed 'Tweet'? I'd imagine the fact that sometimes jokes simply miss is something that even the most accomplished of comedians struggle with, but they're a hell of a lot more likely to fall short of their target when there was never an intended target in the first place. Any funny man who is worth the price of admission would know that, so I'm more offended by his job title than his joke. Especially since it's disingenuous to claim "edginess" minutes before jumping off the internet cliff by deleting your account due to the most predictable of backlash...
A Miami Reporter Made A Bad Joke About Meek Mill And The City Of Philadelphia That He Regretted Almost Instantly
BOO! BOO THAT MAN! Honestly, there's not enough tomatoes in the world for that absolute hatchet job of a zinger that I'm assuming was aimed at the degeneracy of Philadelphia as a whole. I think you'd have to reach pretty far to consider that failed attempt at humor to be race-based, seeing as there are plenty of white basketball fans, but anytime a bad joke can be misinterpreted as a racist one the person telling it should probably make note to steer clear of comedy. I mean, if the goal was laughter, then he would have been better off going the offensive route. After all, at least some people find that to be funny, where as not a giggle was uttered following an ambiguous punchline.
Let me be the last person to defend a city that's days removed from launching full beers on the ice during a professional hockey game. Philly has never been hesitant to earn their stereotypes, and - as a result - they invite wisecracks about their collective character. That said, you better have Kevin Hart's South Florida-based brother penning your one-liners if you're planning on coming out the other side of besmirching the local legend responsible for the SuperBowl-winning soundtrack and his passionate following unscathed. Clearly this journalist turned jester didn't, or he wouldn't have had to nail the delete button about 15 minutes, and a 100 screenshots, too late...
Apparently Marvin Harrison Is Now A Landlord, And There's A Video Of Him Allegedly Attacking A Tenant With A Baseball Bat
TerezOwens- This footage of Colts Hall of Famer Marvin Harrison comes to us via our tip box. “I was menaced and threatened by Mr Harrison, who is my landlord. I have 8 minutes of clear video and would like to monetize it. I retain the rights to the video until the release is finalized. I have a sample of the quality and if you are interested, please contact me ASAP. Thank you for your time and consideration.” I’m not sure what to think, judge for yourself below with this footage…this is just a sample as I’m only playing 1 of the 8 minutes…this guy is selling the footage to pay Marvin I assume. -TO
I suppose we should still call this an "alleged" attack, seeing as the dude lugging a Louisville Slugger around a city street like he's either hoping to recreate a scene out of Grand Theft Auto or stumble upon The Sandlot wasn't flashing an ID or wearing a name tag. Still, that looked a hell of a lot like the person who serves as the preeminent example that, no matter how many times we watch them play, we probably shouldn't judge an athlete as a person by his on-field attitude, or lack thereof.
I guess it's due to the calmness and consistency he displayed in quietly going about his business during an All-World playing career, but there's probably some people that, to this day, have no idea why I'm not surprised that Marvin Harrison might have adopted an in-your-face style of property management from The Sopranos. To those people, I offer the following Wikipedia entry, and - well - you might want to sit down when you read it...
Yeah, doesn't seem so out-of-character for someone you might have still thought to be a mild-mannered introvert anymore, now does it?
So, next time you deem a player an asshole because he was caught on camera laughing after a mistake, or decide that you wouldn't mind marrying your daughter off to the strong silent type because he presents himself as a good teammate, maybe just flash back to the curious case(s) of Marvin Harrison. Let him be your reminder that, for better or worse, you could watch someone take Major League cuts for a decade and have no idea whether they'd be the type to help your grandmother across the street or the type to take your kneecap as collateral for an overdue rent payment.
Sidenote: I'm not sure I'd run to the well too much, but - assuming you're okay risking your long-term ability to walk - instigating your famously violent landlord into kicking your ass and selling the clip online is a pretty clever way to get him paid.
The Rockies Twitter Account Wasn't Having Any Of The Vitriol Directed At Their First-Time Female Broadcaster
Without having any familiarity with Jenny Cavnar, her knowledge of baseball, or her ability to call a game, I feel pretty comfortable saying the following...
Female broadcasters can, on occasion, be unbearably terrible at engaging an audience, accurately portraying what they see, and relaying information in a manner that's easy to digest. That's the bad news.
The good news, however, is that male broadcasters can, on occasion, be equally as bad at all those things, and - considering the gender breakdown of their profession - their fuck up's come with far more frequency! How about that, equality at the expense of our eardrums!
I know this may be hard to believe, but I wasn't tuned in and hanging on every word during a Colorado Rockies game on a Monday night in mid-April. Therefore, I have absolutely no idea how well it was called. On the other hand, I do have an idea of how intolerant you have to be to treat a couple potentially nervous and definitely harmless mistakes by a first-time MLB announcer as an indictment of both her qualifications and her entire gender.
It was right around the same time that Jenny Cavnar was mixing up shortstop and second base that long-time NBA analyst Reggie Miller was attributing the court vision of the point guard for the Utah Jazz to "Marco Rubio". Despite the latter taking place during a game whose importance was exponentially greater than that of Spring baseball, it was merely met with laughs as it was universally considered an honest mistake. Perhaps all the moronic trolls that demand the booth remain a boys' club should consider offering that same benefit of the doubt to a woman that I presume wasn't perfect during her professional debut.
That, of course, is a pipe dream considering the hostile state of the internet, but credit to the Colorado Rockies' social media team for combating the antiquated concept of sports as a sausage fest against people that really didn't deserve the time of day.
ESPN- A Bay Area reporter who covers the Golden State Warriors has been caught on tape taking a security staffer's jacket after a team practice last week in San Antonio, The Athletic reported Monday.
Mike Shumann, a sports anchor of KGO-TV in San Francisco, is visible on the tape, which ESPN has reviewed. Shumann appears to take a jacket belonging to Ralph Walker, the Warriors' director of team security, as he walks out of the AT&T Center.
Several Warriors players were upset over the incident and don't want it quickly dismissed, The Athletic reported. Shumann is a former wide receiver for the San Francisco 49ers and longtime TV reporter in the city.
Meanwhile, the Warriors have an agreement with KGO to provide exclusive interviews with players, interviews that usually have been conducted by Shumann. The Athletic reported the players are now refusing to do those interviews.
A spokesman for KGO on Monday issued the following statement to The Athletic: "We are taking these allegations very seriously and conducting a full investigation. As a matter of policy, we do not comment about personnel matters."
Shumann apologized to individual Warriors players, and The Athletic reported he was sent home from San Antonio after the incident. Shumann was not part of the station's postgame show Sunday night.
I got to be honest, while intentionally snatching another man's coat is almost always a terrible decision, I can't help but feel like we need to see this jacket before making a fair assessment of exactly how senseless it was to swipe it.
I don't know Mike Shumann, but - considering he targeted the outerwear of the Warriors' Director Of Team Security - I don't exactly take him as the type that's measured enough for for a life of crime. Therefore, there's reason to believe that he's a first time offender that would have long been busted if he'd always had his eye out for the belongings of others.
I guess what I am really trying to say is that there must have been something really special about this damn jacket. Was it team issued? A limited edition? Maybe it wasn't Warriors affiliated at all. A gorgeous goose-down seems unlikely to be necessary in San Antonio during April, but it seems likely to be necessary in turning a reputable reporter into a robber. Perhaps it was suede, or leather, or some other expensive material that was enticing enough to widen the eyes and sticky the fingers of a longtime local media member that compromised the access of his entire network in the name of looking good while staying warm.
Not that any of those scenarios make the act of stealing it any less stupid, but risking both the reputation of yourself and your employer for a windbreaker that has 'Ralph' stitched on the front and 'SECURITY' screen-printed on the back would definitely make this extremely odd occurrence even more stupid than it is on the surface. Here's to hoping this jacket was as life-changing as Jerry's, if only because risking your livelihood for less would truly be inexplicable...
Former NFL Kicker Jay Feely Apologized For Using A Gun To Make A "Touch My Daughter And I'll Kill You" Joke In A Prom Pic
Objectively speaking free of context, the following scene from Bad Boys II is hilarious enough to be deserving of a tribute...
That said, if that tribute is a picture of yourself holding a gun with the implication that you'd use it on a relatively innocent teenager in the year 2018 then you accept all the backlash that comes with posting it on public platform. Shit done changed since '03, and that includes the general public's thoughts on humor that involves using firearms in an attempt to guarantee the re-virginization of your already de-flowered daughter. Therefore, the result of wielding a weapon better be a lot funnier than that if you want to share it with millions of strangers who are anything but likeminded.
I'm giving a lot of people far too much credit by saying this, but I think we're all smart enough to know that a "touch my daughter and I'll kill you" joke that's clearly in jest and not at all threatening to the people who it's being made at the expense of isn't a trivialization of the tragedies that have taken countless young lives on a seemingly monthly basis. Unfortunately, I'm also giving a lot of people - including a former NFL kicker, apparently - far too much credit by saying that no one is dumb enough to post a picture of themselves holding a pistol without knowing full well that it will be seen as a political statement.
Not even living under an actual rock could shelter you from the circular, polarizing arguments about gun control, so Jay Feely would have had to have spent the last 6-12 months doing target practice in a bomb shelter to think that the kickback on his firearm gag wouldn't immediately bite him. Whether or not the gun was being used safely at the time or not is irrelevant, because if Jay Feely wasn't guilty of using a prom pic to push his agenda then he's guilty of being a moron for not realizing it would be viewed that way. If it's the former then an apology was not necessary.
For reference, this is how you make a funny regarding gun ownership...
A Milwaukee Reporter Was Arrested For Punching Another Milwaukee Reporter After Criticizing His Girlfriend, Who Happened To Be A Co-Worker, At A Brewers Game
AwfulAnnouncing- FTV Live reports that WITI (FOX Milwaukee) reporter A.J. Bayatpour was arrested after getting into a fight with a rival television reporter during Friday night’s Brewers-Cubs game at Miller Park.
Bayatpour got into an argument with WTMJ (NBC Milwaukee) reporter Ben Jordan while they were both attending the game as fans.
According to the police report acquired by FTV Live (pictured below), Bayatpour and Jordan got into a fight after Bayatpour “was ridiculing” Jordan’s girlfriend, Madeline Anderson, who’s actually a colleague of Bayatpour’s at WITI. Jordan then stepped in to defend Anderson, and Bayaport punched him, causing “significant injury” according to the police report.
Did ya get all that? Want to give it a quick re-read just to make sure you're all caught up? Here, I'll break it down in Shakespearean terms for those of you that are still confused...
You see, it looks as though what we have here is a real Romeo and Juliet-esque tale of star-crossed lovers in which rival news organizations, led by their trusted correspondents, fulfill the roles of the Capulets and Montagues. NBC's Ben Jordan, who wants nothing more than to keep the hand of FOX's Madeline Anderson, being drawn into conflict by the potential jealousy of a third party at FOX who - by way of employment proximity - believes he is entitled to her affection.
Full disclosure, I actually have no idea if this altercation was the product of a love triangle gone wrong, but - seeing as this story can only be made better by a little more drama - I think that's what we should presume until further notice.
I mean, the only alternative would be that this A.J. Bayatpour character took the Brew Crew nickname a little too literally, drunkenly made fun of a co-worker who was also a peer's girlfriend to their faces, proceeded to punch that peer when he stood up for her, and then took off running as if his arrest wasn't inevitable given how easily identifiable he is to the victim. Needless to say, getting taken out of the ballgame and taken down in a crowd under those circumstances wouldn't be the greatest look for him on a personal or professional level.
On the other hand, the "love makes people do crazy things" initiative can be called in front of the court if this was just a fight over a girl. Granted, that court will be of the public opinion and it's judgement will be handed down by way of a much-anticipated rematch between heart-stricken and bloodthirsty broadcast adversaries, because I've already started penning a letter to Jerry Springer on behalf of a plot line that I may or may not have taken some liberties with.
Ready Your Eye Rolls: According To Ray Lewis, Odell Beckham Jr.'s Problem Is That He's Distanced Himself From God
(Starting at 8:48)
You know what, I think I just have to tip my cap here. For, as moronic as Ray Lewis sounds, I actually think he just did the impossible. In implying that one of the most nauseatingly narcissistic players in all of sports needs to find a higher power, he somehow made a manufactured story about some hypothetical relationship between Odell Beckham Jr. and Jesus Christ entirely about himself.
This isn't about the importance of religion. It's not about the inhibited maturity of a personality that's on the verge of getting the transcendently talented player it belongs to traded for far less than he's worth. That presumptuous, holier than thou rant about having a "foundation" was the product of an ego bruised by a lack of incoming calls from a current NFL player...
Ray Lewis, who was at the very least an accomplice to murder, just blamed the curious case of Odell Beckham on the people he chooses to surround himself with, but - if you listen closely - it actually has nothing to do with that at all. That critique was just a bunch of filibustering aimed at making you forget that some hypocritical jackass whose public presence on television is a constant threat to the integrity of sports media is upset that an NFL superstar decided to opt-out of over-the-phone Bible study with someone who is headed straight to hell if even half of its passages are rooted in truth.
Don't fall for the God-fearing schtick, because Ray Lewis is basically just mad that he got ghosted by someone who is younger, cooler, and more relevant than him. From what I gather, I don't even like the millennial's millennial that is Odell Beckham. Still, that ridiculous argument had less legs to stand on than a Tinder date making a regrettable mistake on a first date, and - oddly enough - they both have a dismissiveness in further contact in common.
Julian Edelman May Have Prevented A School Shooting After Being Alerted To A Threat In His Instagram Comments And Taking Action
NYTimes- The New England Patriots receiver Julian Edelman was in Texas visiting his former teammate Danny Amendola late last month when he received a direct message on his Instagram account: “Dude, there is a kid in your comment section says he s going to shoot up a school, i think you should alert the authority.”
Edelman instantly thought of the mass shooting about five weeks earlier in Parkland, Fla., in which 17 people were killed. “With the emotions of what happened, and I have a kid now, I said, holy Toledo, what is going on?” Edelman said in an interview this week.
He quickly notified his assistant in Boston, Shannen Moen, who looked through the hundreds of comments that followed Edelman’s most recent post on Instagram. She found the alarming message: “I’m going to shoot my school up watch the news.”
Moen called 911, and a police officer soon arrived. The officer saw the screen shot, then called her chief, who sent two detectives to Moen’s house. The detectives collected some information about the person who posted the threat. They then returned to their office, where they made an emergency records request for account information, which allowed them to determine the sender’s email and IP address, which was traced to Port Huron, Mich.
The detectives called police in Michigan, who immediately drove to the house where the threatening message originated. When the police arrived at the address, they found a 14-year-old boy, who, they said, admitted to posting the threat. They also found two rifles that belonged to his mother, according to Capt. Joseph Platzer of the Port Huron Police Department.
Platzer said the boy’s threat was aimed at the middle school that he attends in a nearby township. The boy was taken to a juvenile-detention center, where he remains. He was charged with making a false report of a threat of terrorism, a felony that is punishable by up to four years in jail.
Moen said Edelman wanted to thank the person who sent him the direct message for his vigilance. (Someone with the Instagram handle jesseyi3.) Moen has reached out to that person, but so far has received no response.
“Thankfully, this kid said something,” said Edelman, who has played in three Super Bowls with the Patriots in his eight-year N.F.L. career. “We’re going to send him something, a care package, just for his work. He’s the real hero.”
I really, really don't want to play the pessimist here. After all, it's objectively awesome that some random follower had the wherewithal to take heed to one of the hundreds of thousands of thoughtless threats unleashed on the internet on a daily basis and alerted a professional athlete who, in turn, took time out of his undoubtedly busy schedule to act upon what very easily could have been a shameless troll. To blame Julian Edelman or the person who direct messaged him if either of them had treated that comment like the work of an anonymous attention-seeker would be hypocritical to say the least. Each and every day our eyes pass over suspicious stupidity on the on the inter-webs, and it's almost always met with the nothing more than a visit to another URL. Credit to both of the men for being vigilant enough to care, and potentially saving some lives in the process.
That being said, isn't at least mildly concerning how many hoops needed to be jumped through before a person who had access to the means (multiple rifles) of a harrowing end that he foretold publicly was taken into custody? I'm not smart enough to know how, but - considering it was a six step process to confront the sick son of bitch that flat out he was going to murder his classmates on social media - we have got to find a better of way of policing the internet. As proactive and productive as this citizen-led arrest was, it was still wildly inefficient in a way that makes me fearful for the safety of society in the future. The one positive about moronic misuses of technology should be that they make the apprehension of lunatics more timely, but if that kid truly wanted to shoot up his school then no amount of alertness would have been anything more than too little, too late. The fact that "see something, say something" actually worked gives me a sliver of hope, but considering all the things that had to go right for it to do so makes me wonder if it's still a predominantly hopeless endeavor.
A Former Atlanta Hawks Employee Is Suing The Organization On The Grounds That She Was Discriminated Against For Being White And Female
NBC- A former Atlanta Hawks employee is accusing the professional basketball club of discriminating against white people and firing her after she complained.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports Margo Kline filed a lawsuit Friday seeking punitive damages and a trial. The lawsuit says Hawks external affairs director David Lee, who is black, promoted a culture of discrimination against white people, and especially white women.
Kline, who is white, worked as a community development coordinator for five years before her March 2017 firing.
The lawsuit says Lee would make jokes about “white culture,” hiring and promoting black employees – who Kline said were less qualified – over white people....
The NBA team denies Kline’s claims and says it plans to defend against them. The Hawks statement says discrimination claims are taken seriously and Kline’s were thoroughly reviewed.
Well, well, well...would you look at that? Four years ago the Atlanta Hawks GM had to dismiss of himself because he was unable to analyze a player of Sudanese descent without openly wondering where he was hiding the knockoff Gucci bags, and now that very same front office is intolerant of humorless white people. Some might even say that their biggest transgression is being too progressive...
In all seriousness, I think I already found grounds for dismissal of this case. How is it racist to make jokes at the expense of white culture when "white culture" is nothing more than 2-3 year old black culture? Is it ageist to make fun of the way you dressed in high school photos, because David Lee and his associates are basically being charged with taking a look back through their proverbial scrapbook and having a laugh at what's been recently appropriated.
The truth of the matter is, this lawsuit is nothing more than proof positive that the defendant did the right thing by canning Margo Kline. How the hell is a "Community Developer" supposed to develop what's largely a black community when she doesn't even understand their primary interests? She was in the business of catering to black people, and it's well known that the best way to cater to black people is to take advantage of the wealth of comedic material at your disposal by making fun of white people. If she didn't pick up on the fact that self-depreciation was the smartest play during her five years doing outreach for a predominantly black office in a predominantly black league in a predominantly black city with a predominantly black fanbase then it's inevitable that her job performance at least stagnated and more than likely suffered.
I bet the African American that replaced her ass has increased productivity from the position ten fold, and it's probably because he/she has taken advantage of the fact that their office - much like the NBA itself - is one of the only workplaces in America where black people don't feel it necessary to at least mildly censor their true selves. Embracing their blackness is part of the Atlanta Hawks' marketing strategy, and publicly rolling your eyes at whiteness is paramount to embracing blackness (See: Darren Rovell Vs. Hot Sauce).
And look, on the off chance that she - or anyone else - was truly held back from climbing this particular corporate latter because she was either white or female then that's wrong, but the fact that she felt it necessary to combine the two is a sign that neither form of discrimination was all that debilitating to her upward mobility. Never mind the fact that a white person claiming racism will always be taken about as seriously as a male claiming rape, because if you can't drum up enough sympathy with a claim of gender inequality in the year 2018 then you don't deserve reimbursement for even the most punitively damaged sense of entitlement.
While TNT's 'Players Only' Broadcasts Are Great In Theory, Giving Nate Robinson An Open Mic Is The Exact Opposite In Execution
I'm not going to lie, a casually relatable perspective from someone whose not at all concerned with being either right or professional is one that I would have been interested in serving as the background noise during one of the most exciting regular season games of the entire NBA season...until it actually did.
It's not an indictment of the concept of 'Players Only' broadcasts as much as it is an indictment of Nate Robinson's inclusion in them, but hearing him analyze the game from the viewpoint of an overly opinionated fan made me realize that watching games with overly opinionated fans is almost always an awful experience. From him openly rooting for the Trail Blazers, to him reading ads like the fat kid in Billy Madison, to him declaring a Gerald Green half court heave to be a "BUCKET" two whole seconds before it bounced harmlessly off the backboard, to attempting to backseat officiate by saying "every James Harden step-back looks like a travel", Nate Robinson reminded me of the value of in-game silence.
If he were sitting next to me on my couch I would have told him to shut the hell up and sip his beer like a normal person and TNT decided he needed to metaphorically sit on everyone's couch while all-but-forcing them to chug theirs just to drowned out his nonsense. Two of the hottest teams in the league featuring some of the most awe-inspiring talent in the sport going back and forth during a game that came down to the final seconds, and I wasn't looking forward to the next possession but rather bracing myself for the next obnoxious ad-lib. Like I said, great in theory, but - if only due to the incompetence of the executor - counterproductive in execution.
If The NCAA Didn't Consider The FBI's Investigation During 'Selection Sunday' Then I Somehow Have Even Less Respect For Them
I don't want to say the tweet above is full-on bull feces, because dying on a hill doubting the NCAA's seemingly profound inability to save their own face is just not something that I am willing to do. I'd think it "never came up in the room" because taking the opportunity to sidestep further bad publicity when it's presented to you can quite easily go without saying, but let's not forget the lack of self awareness of those who were talking. If for no other reason then they can't possibly be expected to avoid tripping over their own tail, the decision to actively withhold the spotlight from universities that are currently squinting in the direction of the law's collective MagLite is one that might not be so obvious.
That being said, it absolutely should be. We're talking about college sports programs that have drawn the ire of the same organization that's tasked with tackling terrorism. I too find it laughable that the FBI figures it a federal offense that some unpaid laborers are being financially incentivized under the table. However, considering that they apparently do, it's probably best that the business whose model encourages such practices doesn't let their most red-handed of participants join in the most high-profile of reindeer games when given the option not to.
If you want to argue on behalf of the justice system's mantra of "innocent until proven guilty" then be my guest, but do so knowing that - even prior to these allegations - there was nothing just about the way the NCAA operates. Sure, I feel for the athletes who got denied the chance to go dancing, but turning away those most likely to cut the line as the bracket neared capacity would actually be the most honorable thing that the NCAA has ever done...even if it would "hypothetically" be an act of self preservation.
Someone has to be left on the outside looking in, and I can't think of a group that's less deserving of one shining moment than those that are suspected of cheating their way to nothing more than mediocrity. I don't even particularly care about colleges illegally paying their players, but if you're going to risk your reputation for a shot at glory than your RPI better be beyond reproach. There's no shortage of indefinite factors that play into Selection Sunday, so I think it's safe to say that even felonies that are debatable in nature meet the low bar of valued variables when it comes to deciding on bubble teams.
Indians' Pitcher Trevor Bauer Is Disgruntled Online Because He Thinks The MLB Has Been Hypocritical About Twitter Usage
First and foremost, as someone who wasn't in the room, I can only be so sure that a league who historically struggles with reaching and relating to a...umm...lets go with...diverse audience didn't sit down their players and make it a point that they be MORE polarizing in public forums. That said, I feel pretty confident there was a massive misunderstanding here, because you don't even have to pick a side to say that the one that baseball caters to typically demands a separation of pitching and politics. Like, something tells me the Cleveland Indians were told to "use twitter to market yourselves and the sport", but all Trevor Bauer heard was the word "twitter" and it literally and figuratively triggered his desire to 'Make America Great Again' by way of divisive drivel. After all, the alternative would be that the MLB "finally" came around on letting their athletes imply that their fans should take their own lives....
I hate to rain on this whole demonstration of disingenuousness, but to say it's hypocritical to encourage professional athletes to productively and responsibly use a platform after taking said platform away from a professional athlete who proved incapable is a laughable misuse of the word. To put it in terms Trevor can understand, it's fake fucking news. You can be a leader without the incessant use of the word 'libtard'. You can take a stance without it being a contentious one that serves absolutely no purpose other than to alienate paying customers.
Baseball has a hard enough time reaching the the younger demographic without becoming the sport that promotes political propaganda. Therefore, I question that's what this alleged meeting was aimed at doing. On the off chance it was, however, I highly doubt those in charge of a league that embraces repressed, conservative values on and off the field is acting as the anti-Putin and robotically boosting only leftist beliefs.
To put it simply, the Indians' resident snowflake didn't get censored for openly being a Trump supporter, he got censored for openly being a gaping asshole about it in a way that makes both he and his employer look bad. Ironic that he can't see the difference since he was almost undoubtedly calling for the firing of Jemele Hill...
Jonathan Martin (Former Dolphin And Noted Bullying Victim) Posted A Firearm And A Cryptic Message On Social Media That Got His Former High School Shut Down
TheBigLead- Harvard-Westlake School, a prominent private school in the Los Angeles area, shut down today after a security threat. Police said, via CBS Los Angeles, that this closure “was due to a former student, now an adult, who made threats in an Instagram post Thursday.”
According to 12up.com writer Nick Brown, Jonathan Martin, the former Miami Dolphins offensive lineman who was an alumnus of Harvard-Westlake, posted this in his Instagram story:
Oh, the irony. The former professional football player that infamously couldn't handle some locker room hazing that more than likely went a bit above and beyond has some lessons to teach us about bullying. The first - and you might want to write this down, because it's definitely the most important - is that it's only okay when he does it.
Seriously, how else would you describe scaring an entire high school into shutting its doors with a clear and present threat of violence when said type of violence currently has the entire nation restless? Clearly Jonathan Martin isn't "all there", but suffering from emotional distress doesn't make him any less guilty of inflicting that same angst to the nth degree unto hundreds of uninvolved and innocent students as well as their friends and family. Sometimes words hurt more than that 'sticks and stones' saying implies, but they don't cause nearly as much pain and anguish as the visual of a firearm, live ammunition, an ominous quote about death, and an extensive list of potential targets.
This is probably more of a cry for help than anything else, but trying to assume what's truly going through the mind of someone who would post something so sinister and psychotic on social media is a losing proposition. Therefore, I think were about five years late on isolating Jonathan Martin from society for good. While I have no doubts that Richie Incognito tends to push the boundaries and misread situations when it comes to fucking around, there's only been one teammate that's taken serious umbrage with it. Not so coincidentally, it just so happens to be the crazy person that ironically stole a bullying tactic in trying to humanize school shooters and mass murderers by way of ambiguous threat.