Jezebel- For those have you who have been yearning for more lady versions of dude-centric comedies, here’s some interesting news: Sony is making a female version of 21 Jump Street. Even better, they’ve hired two writers from Broad City—Lucia Aniello and Paul Downs—to pen the script.
This female interpretation would be a part of a planned expansion of the 21 Jump Street universe, The Wrap reports, which also includes a crossover with the Men In Black movies. That’s right, we can expect to see Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill stepping in the shoes of Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, chasing after extraterrestrials instead of fighting crime. While we definitely need more all-female comedies to exist and I will say how excited I am for the female Ghostbusters to happen, must we have more “female versions” of movies? Can’t we just have some original ideas? Then again, I will be real and admit that I totally wouldn’t mind a female Indiana Jones or better yet, a female version of Kurt Russell as Jack Burton from Big Trouble in Little China.
So this is just going to be like the movie version of the WNBA, right? Not to sound sexist, but (the ultimate precursor to sexism) men are just better at sports and comedy. This isn't something that's debatable, it's fact. Doesn't mean women can't be funny or can't be good at athletics, but as a whole they pale in comparison. You know why I know that this movie is going to suck in contrast to it's predecessor? Because if they thought '21 Jump Street' would have been funny with women, it would have been cast with women the first go around. I remember when 'Bridesmaids' was being hyped as the female 'Hangover'. Now, 'Bridesmaids' was kind of funny. Not a terrible movie all things considered. It proved that women can do anything men can do, just sometimes they do it far,far worse. Because let's be honest, it didn't come close to comparing to the cult classic that literally everyone on the planet has seen? The problem is that even if they find the two funniest women on the planet to play dumb police officers, they are inevitably going to fail. Two men being intentionally stupid comes off as comedy, two women being intentionally stupid comes off as ditzy. Yes, that's a double standard. Yes, those do exist. However, if there is a woman that objectively claims that the female version of '21 Jump Street' is better than the male version I will eat my fist, tuck my dick and agree to be Bruce Jenner's next sexual conquest.
North Jersey- The 25-year-old son of the homeowners whose dog was killed by a Wyckoff policeman investigating a burglary at the wrong address said Thursday that he's doubtful that the official story about the incident is accurate.
Igor Vukobratovic, son of the homeowners Goran and Zana, said he arrived home Wednesday about 4:30 p.m. to find police already at his house.
The police told him there was a report of a burglary at his house, and that "they'd shot my dog."
He walked into the backyard, he said, to find his 5-year-old, 85-pound purebred German shepherd Otto lying against a wall, shot and bleeding.
"The animal control asked me to help put him on a blanket so they could carry him out. He looked at me, and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't believe that they'd just shot my dog," Vukobratovic said. "I had to pick him up ... and carry him, bleeding, to the truck. The last thing he saw was me."
The choice between supporting a police officer or supporting a dog. The most difficult ultimatum in the history of White America. You want to hit home with the caucasian community? Start reporting every dog death at the hands of law enforcement. Sure, blacks are still facing an overwhelming amount of prejudice to this day, and it is being reflected in the outrageous numbers of African Americans that have fallen victim to the badge this year. However, as crazy as it seems, you will find a higher percentage of white people that can relate to a dog more so than a black person. There are people in this country that would think that blacks were a myth if it wasn't for the nightly news. I am sure there are people in the Dakotas that poke visiting black people like they are an exhibit at a science museum, but there isn't a white family in America that doesn't have a dog either directly or indirectly involved in their life. It's easy for the lunatics that have confederate flags outside their house to point to African Americans rioting in the streets and place the blame on them, but you can't justify the death of an innocent dog. Bet that dog didn't have a rap sheet. Bet he wasn't resisting arrest. Couple more dead pups and Wyckoff, New Jersey might turn into Baltimore Part Two, the white version. The only thing crazier and more out of control than a black riot is a white riot. Just look at the aftermath of every college National Championship in the last 5 years, and that's just when they are celebrating.
Should we just start giving officers tranquilizer guns? That's a solid way to increase the margin of error. The whole being one pull of a trigger way from homicide thing doesn't seem to be working out too well lately. It would be fantastic if cops could just knock their suspects out cold and have a minute to think before they decided that they deserved to die. Especially in situations where they show up to the WRONG HOUSE to investigate a burglary and their first instinct is to shoot the first thing moving. Whoopsie. Who taught this guy how to read a GPS? Floyd Mayweather? Jesus Christ dude. You just killed man's best friend because you were a little trigger happy. A couple of dead black teens clearly didn't signal a necessary change in the tactics of law enforcement. If the visual of dog dying doesn't then we, as a society, are beyond repair.
Washington Post- A prisoner sharing a police transport van with Freddie Gray told investigators that he could hear Gray “banging against the walls” of the vehicle and believed that he “was intentionally trying to injure himself,” according to a police document obtained by The Washington Post.
The prisoner, who is currently in jail, was separated from Gray by a metal partition and could not see him. His statement is contained in an application for a search warrant, which is sealed by the court. The Post was given the document under the condition that the prisoner not be named because the person who provided it feared for the inmate’s safety.
The document, written by a Baltimore police investigator, offers the first glimpse of what might have happened inside the van. It is not clear whether any additional evidence backs up the prisoner’s version, which is just one piece of a much larger probe.
Gray was found unconscious in the wagon when it arrived at a police station on April 12. The 25-year-old had suffered a spinal injury and died a week later, touching off waves of protests across Baltimore, capped by a riot Monday in which hundreds of angry residents torched buildings, looted stores and pelted police officers with rocks.
Police have said they do not know whether Gray was injured during the arrest or during his 30-minute ride in the van. Local police and the U.S. Justice Department both have launched investigations of Gray’s death.
So what kind of deal do we think was cut with the other prisoner in the van? You know, the prisoner that just gave a testimony indicting Gray of injuring himself, even though he couldn't even see him. Seems like a reputable source to me. Hmm, was it the half dozen cops kneeling on his back that severed his spinal cord, or did he do so by throwing himself against the wall of a van in anger? Gee, one of the true modern day mysteries. We may never know the answer. I have heard of punching a wall out of frustration before, but detaching your vertebrae is quite the step up. I don't think I will ever reach "break my own back" mad. Freddie Gray just making everyone that has been pissed to the point of damaging personal property look like a pussy. Jesus, I wince when I watch someone give themselves an insulin injection. I turn off the TV during the wrist cutting scenes in suicide themed movies. A severed spine though? That's some never before seen dedication to destruction.
Is this what we are going with? Final answer? The drawing board is full? Who wants to be the one to tell the thousands of looting rioters that everything is resolved because Freddie actually did it to himself. That should go over smoothly, but I would bring a few dozen boxes of donuts and a fire extunguisher just in case. A little brown nosing (don't worry officers, that's not a racial term) never hurt. I know there is a contingent of people that are naive to the level of discrimination shown by the police force. Chew on this for a second. Freddie Gray got his ass beat by a couple of cops. Now those very same cops are turning around say "well yeah, we beat him, but not as bad as he beat himself". That's a level of audacity that would never fly if we are talking about a white victim. "Listen Mrs. Murphy, Billy broke his own spinal column". That would result in more lawsuits than a Penn State shower scandal. When all else fails blame the guy that can no longer vouch for himself I guess. I don't know what happened in that van, but I can assure you that Gray wasn't solely responsible for incapacitating himself. Mostly because I don't even know how someone would even go about attempting to severe their own spine.
P.S. Am i supposed to believe it's a coincidence that every member of the racial damage control team on the Baltimore PD is black? Say what you want about Baltimore, but at least they got their black ducks in a row when shit hits the fan.
KTLA- Nearly six months after an LMU student was raped at an off-campus Halloween party, the university has offered a $20,000 reward to anyone who can provide information leading to the arrest and successful conviction of the assailant, school officials recently said.
The LAPD released a sketch of the person responsible for raping a Loyola Marymount University student at an off-campus Halloween party in the early morning hours of Nov 1, 2014.
“This is not something we would normally do,” Loyola Marymount University Vice President of Communications and Government Relations Kathleen Flanagan said. “However, after months of investigation by both the police and our Department of Public Safety, we have no leads. We hope this could make a difference. A reward might encourage someone to come forward.”
A campus news release announcing the reward on Tuesday states the student was raped shortly after midnight on Nov. 1, 2014, in the 8700 block of Yorktown Avenue in Westchester (map).
“Most sexual assault involves a known suspect. In this case, the facts point to an unknown assailant,” Flanagan said in an email statement.
“We need the people who attended this party to step up and be real adults, come forward and tell the truth,” the article, signed by “parents of an LMU student,” stated. “We need them to show half the courage our daughter has shown. Anyone who was at the party who has not been interviewed by LAPD – contact them and contribute to catching this rapist.”
DISCLAIMER: Rape is not funny.
However, if you were going to try to make a joke about it this one would most likely start "Willy Wonka, Robert Durst and Bruce Jenner walk into a bar and cum into a cup..." and end with "...their bastard child raped a woman at an off campus college party". I'm usually not the type of person to label someone at a party as "rapey", but I have also never been at a party with a guy wearing a white top hat. Talk about the ballsiest rapist in history. The only thing non-descript about this guy is the lack of personality behind those soulless eyes. Come on man. Everyone knows the key to getting away with rape is to play the role of an overly happy black man in outrageous sweaters, not play a serial killer white dude with shoulder length hair that just stole the headgear of a 1960's private detective.
Normally I would say that it's ridiculous to assume that every one at a party knows someone else at that party. Especially at an off campus college party. However, in this case, someone is definitely hiding something. You don't just show up to a party and not know where the guy with the white top hat is at all times. That's how you end up with roofies in the punch bowl or missing a rape that's happening in an adjacent room. I don't want to question this guy's style, but if you really like white top hats isn't it a pretty bad idea to rape someone in one? Once you commit a felony in a top hat you are automatically not a top hat guy anymore. Worst decision this guy has ever made. Probably had an entire closet full of top hats that he had to incinerate. I guess the person I feel bad for here, besides the victim obviously, is the one other guy on campus that is undoubtedly a top hat guy as well. Had to change up his whole style even though all his sex, or lack thereof, is consensual. You want to find the suspect? Just bring in all the guys on campus in funny hats. He may be out of the top hat game, but there's no chance he's out of the ridiculous hat game. A tiger doesn't change it's stripes. My best guess? Detain everyone in a fedora.
TIME- Fans of Bruce Jenner in Australia have taken to social media to show the former Olympic athlete their support by painting their nails.
As Jenner explained in his interview with Diane Sawyer after coming out as transgender, he wishes he could be comfortable enough presenting himself as female to “have my nail polish on long enough that it actually chips off.” (Jenner will continue to be referred to by male pronouns for the time being.)
An Australian radio station kicked off the nail polish trend by asking men to paint their nails to show Jenner their support, Buzzfeed reports.
You know when a celebrity passes away and social media blows up? Everyone talking about how much they liked his/her movies, or how much they meant to them, or how good of a person they were, despite never meeting that person once in their life? Meanwhile, when someone from their own bloodline dies, they barely stay for the entirety of the wake and they don't say a thing about it to the public? A bunch of straight dudes painting their nails in solidarity for Bruce Jenner is the exact same phenomenon. Bruce Jenner was a rich, white, ex-olympian and reality television star. Now he's just a rich, white, ex-olympian and reality star that wears a dress. That dick tucking son of a bitch doesn't need solidarity, he needs fashion advice...
Of all the members of the LGBT community, Bruce Jenner is the one that needs public support? I think the guy (?) is doing just fine. All things considered, if you are going to switch genders in your mid-60's, the one family that can make that seem normal is the Kardashian/Jenner clan. This is pretty par for the course with them. What about Steve, the barback from Texas, whose parents haven't talked to him since he got hair extensions and went up a cup size? Can we give our support to someone who is in dire need of it? Bruce Jenner is doing just fucking fine. If you are a straight dude that's painting your nails, or even some random person that happens to be reading this, take a long look at your life. Have you realized that the man in the middle of a sex change transformation is living more comfortable than you are yet? I am all about living the life that you choose to live, but don't feed me this bullshit about how courageous Bruce Jenner is. He's got the support of his entire family, and a bunch of straight dudes out there painting there nails for him. He's not someone that is standing in direct opposition of all the injustices that transgenders in America face. He's just someone with far too much money that decided that he looks like, totally fabulous in heels. There are a lot of people in this world facing hardships. All of them have less money, notoriety and fame than Bruce Jenner. So if the question is "are you painting your nails and walking around looking like an asshole so a rich dude can feel good about his new vagina?" then the answer is...
Huffington Post- A Greek court has convicted a dead man of stealing electricity from a power utility, giving him a six-month suspended jail sentence.
Defense lawyer Christos Bakelas told the Thessaloniki court that his client was deceased, and asked to have the trial deferred until he could deliver a death certificate. But the court refused, and on Tuesday convicted his client in absentia.
Thessaloniki police records show the 46-year-old unemployed father of three died on April 8, but Bakelas wasn't informed until the eve of the trial.
The man was charged last year after activists reconnected his power supply that had been cut by the electricity company for unpaid bills.
Well if this isn't an indictment of the justice system I don't know what is. Is there not enough living and breathing criminals in the streets to fill up an eight hour work day? Got to waste time sentencing a guy that is currently rotting in a box. Isn't this overkill? Isn't a casket as solitary as confinement gets? Apparently the courts in Greece believe that there actually is a fate worse than death.
With that said, you got to consider the deceased the winner here. A person's accomplishments are always glorified post mortem. Just ask Biggie Smalls or Tupac Shakur. Death is a guaranteed money maker. I would love to be a bad ass, it's just that these stupid things called morals get in the way. Imagine if you could be the bad guy without having to serve a single minute in a penitentiary? Sure, the flip side is that you are dead, but if you are going to be dead you might as well be the most dangerous dead guy to ever have walked the earth. Meet Jim, the electricity thief, a man so bad he had to be imprisoned post mortem. When I die, you can give me all the crimes. Well, all the crimes short of rape. It's better to be known for something than known for nothing. Hell, if I get a terminal disease no man is safe. I'm taking all y'all with me. From my most hated of enemies to the lady that didn't say thanks when I held the door for her. I'm down with being the most convicted corpse to ever haunt the history books. I'll be like the modern day Butch Cassidy. That's just outlaw life. Say hello to the bad guy, you're standing on top of him. Now cue my motherfuckin' music!
So I got a couple hundred bucks coming to me if Tampa Bay manages to win the Stanley Cup, but I think Mike Babcock still somehow just made me a Red Wings fan. I love honesty from head coaches. I'm sure Babcock would love to keep winning for his job security, or for another opportunity to win the most prestigious trophy in North American sports, but I'll de damned if ain't jones-in' for some cold cuts. That's what I call career aspirations. Sometimes you just got food on the mind. Especially when you have an opportunity to head back to a place that your favorite restaurant calls home. If you don't have a go to meal in every city or state you have ever visited then you are doing it wrong. Food and drinks are half the reason I travel. Experience a city? I don't give a crap about landmarks, museums or other tourist traps. Tell me where I can indulge myself with the finer things in life guilt free because it's vacation. Give me a locally brewed beer and Yelp's finest sandwich. Yeah, Babcock has a thirst for success, but nothing short of a #2 with extra sauce from Schwartz's can cure his hunger. I suppose I am still rooting for the Lightning, but I'll sleep well tonight knowing Mike Babcock is getting those all too familiar butterflies in his stomach awaiting his all time favorite cheat meal. That's what we call a silver lining. Throw some lipstick on that pig before you roast it, slice it and throw it on Babcock's plate. That's the face of a man that will stop at nothing for some mood altering grub. If a man can't get can't receive a promise of oral satisaction on his 52nd birthday is there really any hope for humanity?
44 LADIES, THAT'S ME!!!
Daily Mail- Their group met Lee at the trendy Georgica nightclub and went back to Lee's house to party until 4am on that night in the summer of 2013.
But Mr Lankler painted an entirely different picture of what happened next.
In his opening statement he said that the bathroom where the alleged rape happened was 12ft from where the victim's brother and her friend were - but that they did not hear a noise.
He said that the facts were 'entirely consistent with the circumstances under which consensual sex occurs' but that it could have been 'perhaps regrettable consensual sex'.
The victim and her best friend admitted that after meeting Lee they had been drinking vodka and wine and the court heard that when they got to his house the party continued with an open bottle of champagne.
The court was shown photographs taken that evening which showed the victim smiling with Lee draped around her arm.
Other pictures showed her posing with Lee and his friend, Rene Duncan. The victim's friend admitted that at one point she kissed Mr Duncan.
Mr Lankler said that he had a good idea about the victim's 'cultural attitude' and suggested she and her friends had a problem with Asians which may have explained why they reacted badly after she and Lee had sex.
There was also 'not a scratch' on Lee despite the victim claiming that they had been in a violent struggle, he said.
Lee had chosen a bench trial rather than a jury because, legal experts said, he might come across as unlikable to residents of Long Island.
Nice try lady. We all have a couple of notches on the bed post that we would rather have covered up. That's life. Everyone has one too many drinks and has sex with someone that wouldn't want their friends to know about. Doesn't mean you can accuse someone of rape and ruin their life forever. How about you just suppress the memory way down deep inside you and no one will have to spend 25 years in prison, kay? I don't know the word-for-word definition of consent but being at a stranger's house at 4AM drinking his champagne, draping your arm over him and kissing him sounds pretty spot on to me.
Rape? Come on sweetheart. When you get caught riding a moped do you say that the rental company forced it on you as well? You are just mad you upped your number on some tiny Asian dick. It's okay. No one is judging. Except for your friends I guess. Either way, Jason Lee is not the bad guy here. Either your friends, and your brother, stood idly by while you got raped, or your friends caused you to accuse someone of rape because they are judgmental pieces of shit. Sounds like you need new friends. Probably would be beneficial to have a brother with even a semblance of concern for your safety too. No amount of time served is going to make your company less superficial. Couldn't you just tell them that someone needed to bite the bullet for a 4AM romp in the Hamptons? Sure, your friends will gossip about the time that you fucked some ugly old Asian guy, but at least he was rich. That's got to count for something, right? Nothing comes free in this world, and that includes unlimited champagne and the use of a mansion. Luckily you were blessed with the most valuable piece of currency between your legs. Gold diggers have been working their ass off for years to get the pussy exchange rate up, don't ruin it with one fraudulent rape charge.
P.S. Thank God there was no jury, because my man looks guiltier then the guy in the AmeriQuest commercial.
Huffington Post- In an interview with Baltimore city councilman Carl Stokes on Tuesday night's episode of "OutFront," Burnett noted that both the mayor of Baltimore and President Barack Obama had used the term "thugs" when talking about riots in the city.
"Isn't that the right word?" she asked Stokes.
The councilman said it wasn't. "These are children who have been set aside, marginalized, who have not been engaged by us," he said.
Burnett pushed back: "How does that justify what they did?"
Finally, Stokes had seemingly had enough.
"Just call them n*****s," Stokes said. "No. We don't have to call them by names such as that."
CNN declined to comment on the segment.
To understand why so many people often find "thug" to be offensive and dismissive, consult Richard Sherman. In January 2014, the Seattle Seahawks player made an argument similar to the one Stokes made this week on CNN.
“The only reason [the word 'thug'] bothers me is because it seems like it’s the accepted way of calling somebody the N-word nowadays,” Sherman said at the time.
Sometimes during periods of racial unrest it is imperative that we stop to talk about the important things. You know, like the semantics of the word 'thug'. Fuck it. Let's not talk about an entire city being burned to the ground over race relations in the all too 'progressive' 21st century. Let's not talk about why these continue to happen, or the best way we can stop them from happening in the future. How can I possibly be expected to formulate an opinion on the ongoing destruction of a region by it's own people if I don't know what to properly call them without being offensive?!?
I totally understand that the word 'thug' can be used to imply African American descent. It can be used improperly and unjustly. For instance, when Richard Sherman, a man with a degree from Stanford, indulged in some shit talking on a football field, it was downright retarded to refer to him as a 'thug'. In that circumstance, thug was basically the socially acceptable way of calling him the 'N word'. However, not all situations are created the same. 'Thug' is offensive when it is used to describe a loud, brash African American. It is not offensive when it is used to describe people that are flipping over cars and turning a neighborhood into a war zone. Are we clear yet? Sometimes thug, by definition, just means thug. A thug is "a cruel or vicious ruffian or robber". I see no mention of white, black, magenta, purple, women or man. How else should we describe the people rioting in the streets, burning businesses and cutting firehoses? 'Protestors' seems like a dramatic undersell. The 'N word' while also not being entirely true, seems a little excessive. Jesus Stokes, talk about 0 to n*gga real quick. I think as a society we can settle for thug. If Obama says they are thugs, they are thugs. After all, he's got at least 50% authority on the matter.
Is it really that offensive anyway? I thought the rap game had done a formidable job of making that lifestyle look pretty glamorous. According to Fat Joe anyway...
NJ.com- "Gary's been doing great,'' said Jay Fiedler, an eight-year former NFL quarterback who spent five years as the starter for the Miami Dolphins in the early 2000s. "He's refined his mechanics a little bit, worked on all of his drops. He's a guy who is very adaptable to the pro game. He's worked under center before. He's worked in shot gun. He throws very well on the move. He can do just about everything that any offense is going to ask of him at the next level. I just think he's a guy who can make every throw.
"He's a guy who is going to compete once he gets into camp. Any team that gives him a shot is going to get a really good player, somebody that's going to be able to develop and ultimately become, I think, a good player in the league.''
"He can make every throw in the league,'' Fiedler said of Nova, who ranks first in Rutgers history with 73 touchdowns, second with 9,258 passing yards and second with 689 completions. "He's an accurate thrower. He's got a real quick release. He throws a firm ball, hits all the different types of throws, the underneath throws, the intermediates, the deep throws.
"I think the other strength that he has is his adaptability, his ability to do a lot of different things from under center, move the pocket around, to drop back, to shotgun, to run play-actions, to adjust his tempos on his drop, to adapt to the reads that he's seeing downfield. All of those things are what I feel make for a successful quarterback at the next level.''
Fiedler said he'd be "very surprised'' if Nova doesn't receive a phone call from an NFL representative at some point late in the evening Saturday after the draft.
Many people, Rutgers fans imparticular, may be surprised when they hear the name Gary Nova associated the National Football League. For a guy that struggled for a large majority of his time as a starting quarterback in college football, it may not seem reasonable to expect him to not only correct his flaws as a quarterback, but to turn those negatives into positive aspects of his game. It's no secret that consistency was Nova's achilles heel, and consistency is exactly what he going to need to display to turn his limited reps on an NFL roster into a career. While some may see that as discouraging, it's actually the exact opposite. Gary Nova's flaws have nothing to do with his talent or physical abilities. Based strictly on his athletic ability he should see time in an NFL training camp. He can make all the throws. He's mobile. He's played in a pro system. All of those characteristics speak to his potential, and that's exactly what the NFL draft is. A gamble on potential, especially as you get into the later rounds as well as free agency.
Is he going to get as many chances to prove himself as he got at Rutgers? Hell no. I don't think anyone in the history of sports was given more chances than Gary Nova during his 4 year career as a starting quarterback. Even A-Rod is jealous of the amount of chances Nova was given. Hell, If you could fuck up as much in life as Gary Nova did on a football field without consequence even Jerry Sandusky would be a free man. Our prisons would be empty, and meth would be as prevalent as table salt. Basically the entire world would just look like the current state of Baltimore. However, to say that in-between interceptions, inexplicable forward passes, and unforced fumbles Gary Nova didn't flash pro potential would be a flat out fabrication. For as many mind numbing decisions as he made, he was responsible for just as many inexplicably well placed throws and touchdowns. Just when you were ready to throw in the towel on Nova, he would do something that made you think he finally pulled it together. Of course he would then follow it up with another mistake, but that's besides the point. If Gary can put together a couple of good "what the fuck" moments in a row it would be fantastic to see him continue his career in the NFL. Hell, it will just be nice to be able to root for Gary Nova the individual instead of having my teams performance directly affected by his play. Come On Gary!!!!
P.S. Whoever did the score for this youtube 'highlight' video deserves a fucking Emmy. No song has ever embraced an individuals entire existence like 'Wrecking Ball' does for Gary Nova.
Listen, I am not one to complain about officiating. Especially in a game like basketball, that forces an official to make hundreds of judgement calls in the span of 2 and a half hours. I tend to disregard someone's argument when they complain about a single call made over the course of a game that requires so many of them. With that said, when there is a pattern of porous officiating during a game it doesn't take too long to become very noticeable. Last night's game was one of those games. That's not to say that the Clippers weren't responsible for the outcome of the game in their own right. They certainly weren't without blame for some of their mistakes. However, those mistakes become much more pronounced when the officials are literally taking points off of the board in the other teams favor. The refs didn't lose the game for the Clippers, they did a fair job of doing that themselves. However, they certainly didn't do them any favors.
I don't even know where to start. The 'offensive interference' that changed a Matt Barnes tap in to a turnover? Blake Griffin's breakaway layup turned 'walk'? The countless times Manu Ginobili or Tony Parker drove the lane contested and threw their hands up when they realized they had no chance of getting off a decent shot? Let me tell you something about Manu Ginobili. If the league was really serious about fining players for flopping Ginobili would have to play professional basketball until he's 60 years old to pay the league back for all of his fines. It was one thing when he was one of the better basketball players in the sport. Now he's just an old, balding bastard that draws calls every damn play because he is an awkward lefty and he has the ability to make harmless contact look like attempted rape. Meanwhile, Blake Griffin is getting sexually assaulted in the lane while the ref only gets involved so he can be included in some double penetration.
Regardless of all that. Regardless of a 14 point 1st quarter lead evaporating in a matter of minutes. Regardless of Blake Griffin's 4th quarter turnovers, and DeAndre Jordan's foul shooting woes. The Clippers still had a chance to win with 5 seconds left and a correct call, for once, on a DeAndre put back spoiled that opportunity. It just seems when the stakes are at their largest, the Clippers aren't mentally at their sharpest. That will have to change if they ever want be more than a great regular season team. Game 6 in San Antonio would be a fantastic place to start.
Yahoo- AT&T Inc. on Tuesday confirmed that it has fired Aaron Slator, a president who became the subject of a $100 million discrimination lawsuit for using his work phone to send racially offensive images.
"There is no place for demeaning behavior within AT&T and we regret the action was not taken earlier," the company said.
The images in question were found on Slator's phone by an assistant who was asked to transfer data to a new phone, according to the lawsuit filed Monday by Knoyme King, a 50-year-old black woman who worked for Slator.
One of the images, apparently of an African child dancing with the caption "It's Friday ..." followed by a term offensive to African Americans, had been sent in a text describing it as an "oldie but a goodie," the lawsuit said.
Timeout! Time-THE FUCK-out! You can get fired for having an 'insensitive' meme on your phone? That's a thing now? Not only can you get fired, but you can lose your job as a president as a major telecommunications company? Well, we better stop patrolling the borders, cause we are going to need a lot more mexicans to fulfill all of our positions. If we start giving background checks to everyone's iCloud there's not a person in this country whose career is safe. You know the type of person that doesn't have an ounce of insensitive content on their phones? Well, for one, people that don't have phones. This is like when your girlfriend hacks into your phone looking for a reason to get upset, and then getting mad about a text to 'Bridgette' from 2 years before you guys were together. You don't go through someone's phone just to see what's on there, you do so with an ulterior motive that you need satisfied. I know this because, all things considered, if this is the most racist thing on your phone, you are not a racist....
I can't laugh at a little African boy dancing because the caption has a soft 'N word' attached? Is this even America anymore? We shouldn't be worried about the people saving a meme with a black person on their phone, we should worried about the people that have no black people on their on phone. Those are the dangerous ones. Black people are HILARIOUS. If you don't have a single black themed meme on your phone you are either too biased to admit they are funny because you hate the color of their skin, or you are too wet of a blanket to exist in a corporate setting. What's next? You can't have rap music on your phone? Someones going to get fired from their 6 figure salaried job for listening to 'Niggas In Paris' with their headphones too loud? Was it Aaron Slator's fault that someone decided to use the 'N word' in a hilarious meme? He didn't create it, he just enjoyed it. This meme isn't racially insensitive, it's racially assimilating. Everyone that has a sense of humor can laugh at that, regardless of the color of their skin.
Hey Knoyme, would you rather your boss have this on his phone?
There are things that are funny and then things that are offensive. With the staggering amount of prejudice still existing in this country maybe we should be making an example out of the latter instead of the former. Can we pick our battles a little better? Firing someone over something as silly as this only perpetuates racial differences. If funny things are no longer allowed to include questionable content we are all one disgruntled co-worker from the unemployment line. Just because my skin color doesn't allow me to say 'n*gga' doesn't mean I can't laugh when it's included in a joke. Funny doesn't see color.
Huffington Post- Two accused pizza thieves may have cheesed up their plans to make lots of dough by attempting to sell some of the stolen pies to on-duty police officers.
Eighty frozen pizzas were stolen Sunday from a warehouse in Gambell, Alaska. The purloined pies had an estimated street value of more than $1,100, or about $13.75 per pizza, Alaska State Troopers told Alaska Dispatch News.
Investigators didn't have to work too hard finding the culprits.
Two suspects, John Koozaata, 29, and Lewis Oozeva, 21, allegedly called the Gambell Police Department offering to sell some pizzas to the cops on duty, according to KTUU TV.
Koozaata and Oozeva allegedly admitted eating five of the stolen pizzas. The other 75 have been recovered, KTVA.com reports.
I don't know too much when it comes to economics. In fact, I am borderline retarded when it comes to mutual funds, compound interest and windfall gains. Let's just say micro and macro were a lonnnng time ago. However, there are a couple of things I do know. For starters, a penny saved is a penny earned. Also, I know the intrinsic value of a long term investment over a short term investment. You know what is far more valuable than a penny? A goddamn pizza. These kids didn't even have to save and they earned 80 pizzas, so to speak. While 80 pizzas may seem like overkill in the present, the fact that you have already polished off 5 essentially makes the other 75 cheese and sauce laden gold. You know that $1,100 you tried to make that you probably would have pissed away on booze and weed? That's the same $1,100 you now have to inevitably pay for 75 more pizzas over the course of your lifetime. That, my friends, is called shortsighted. $1,100 is a small price to pay for never having to wait for delivery again.
Let's say these kids didn't attempt to sell these pizzas to on-duty police officers. They still would have never been successful in unloading them. You know why? Devine intervention. Stealing pizzas? That's criminal. Selling stolen pizzas? That's blasphemy. You know why there isn't a huge market for 3rd party pizzas? Because they are never supposed to get past the second party without being devoured in gluttonous fashion. No one buys a random pie from a stranger because strangers shouldn't be selling random pies unless there is something wrong with them. You ever see an item on Ebay that seemed way too cheap to be legitimate? Don't you generally avoid bidding on it because the picture is probably fake or misleading? Same thing with pizza. These guys went from the wealthiest dudes in Alaska, relatively speaking, to eating porridge in a correctional facility. I don't know what the resale value is for stolen pizza, but it's safe to assume these guys can consider themselves losers in the long run.
Definitely Don't Feel As Bad For These Reporters Injured During The Baltimore Riots As I Probably Should...
DailyMail- Journalists in Baltimore, Maryland got a taste of war reporting Monday night as they covered the race riots that broke out in the city in the wake of Freddie Gray's death.
In the violence that broke out in clashes between police and rogue protesters, at least five reporters and cameramen were injured, according to journalism organization Poynter.
All of the journalists targeted on Monday say they were attacked by the rioters - and not police.
A cameraman for CCTV, a Chinese news station that focuses on issues impacting Asia and Latin America, posted a photo showing blood streaming down his face after a protester beat him and stole his camera.
'I have a broken nose and three stitches in my upper lip,' Janney told Poynter.
'I got jumped covering Baltimore violence. Broken nose, busted lip, phone stolen. I'm ok,' he later tweeted.
A Baltimore Sun reporter tweeted around 9pm that one of the paper's photographers had been attacked by a group of rioters while trying to take pictures on Howard Street.
'People were yelling at him "stop taking pictures,"' Sun writer Carrie Wells tweeted.
:double checks reports:
Yup, they are all alive. Now I feel much better saying what I was about say. I don't feel bad for them. Well, maybe a little bad for them, but not nearly as bad as I would usually feel for innocent victims. Let me ask a few questions here. Do you walk through a known mine field and blame the mines? Do you jump into a tiger cage and blame the tiger when you are inevitably mauled? If you agree to have drinks at Jeffrey Dahmer's house whose fault is it when you wake up with no arms and walking like a duck? Listen, the 'protestors'/rioters are goddamn animals. That much is apparent. They have no right to tear a city down and injure some reporters in the process. However, since they obviously can't be tamed, you probably shouldn't put yourself in harm's way. Don't poke the bear, if you will. Maybe don't mindlessly wander through the middle of a riot with a selfie stick like you are an Asian tourist in Times Square. Anyone with a camera in their hand is public enemy number one when there is a riot taking place. It's not like these journalists were collateral damage, they were one of the main targets. I got a question for the reporters that were injured. Was your report going to paint the people that eventually beat you in a positive light? If someone was broadcasting to the world how terrible a person I was while I was ten fucking away from them I would beat their ass too.
I understand that sometimes the job of a news reporter puts their well being in jeopardy, but there are also a lot of them that tempt fate for the chance of a better look at a breaking story. Maybe respect your own life more than a wide angled point of view of a bunch of anarchists engulfing the city in flames. If they don't respect the authority of law enforcement, or innocent business owners, what makes you think they are going to give a pass to a bunch of people that are attempting to ruin their public perception? Trust me, they don't need the help.
P.S. Turns out police were responsible for this beating of a journalist, which just goes to show, if you aren't rioting or attempting to stop the rioting, get the fuck out of dodge. Nothing good can happen.
Hey, you don't realize routine until you break it. I am sure that during the record breaking season that Carey Price is in the midst of he has become pretty immune to the praise and compliments lauded upon him. Maybe he gets a little tired "great game Carey" or "good work Pricey". Until he walks into the locker room after he singlehandedly saved Montreal from returning home to face a collapse of epic proportions and no one as much as gives him a tap on the pads. Then you start to realize that the accolades and adulation is not only pretty cool, but it's far better than the alternative. You know for at least one second there he was like "yo, what the fuck?! I just bailed your sorry asses out. Can ya boy get a thank you?" and before he could even finish the sentence in his head the team erupts with applause and he's draped in a silk cape. That's what makes a hockey locker room a hockey locker room. A little meaningless, bullshit prank pulled together in the span of like 3 seconds and it got the job done. Time to take Pricey out for beers, because he was the sole difference between the second round and a gut wrenching game 7.
Quadrouple Murder Suspect Does TV Interview For An Entirely Different News Story Before Getting Caught
Huffington Post (video won't embed)- Most people accused of a crime don't want publicity. But murder charges didn't stop one Virginia man from giving an interview to a Buffalo, New York, news station.
Alexander Hill Jr. was arrested last week in Buffalo shortly after appearing on TV, thanks to an anonymous tipster who alerted the U.S. Marshals Service.
Hill faces four counts of first-degree murder in the deaths of three women and a 2-year-old boy in Petersburg, Virginia, in April 2014. Bodies of the victims, who were relatives of an ex-girlfriend of Hill's, were found inside a burned home on Easter Sunday. Hill was spotted on surveillance video outside a Waffle House in Rocky Mount, North Carolina, 24 hours after the killings. Then he disappeared.
On the anniversary of the murders, the U.S. Marshals Service redistributed Hill's photo in an attempt to track him down. An anonymous tip led them to Buffalo, where Hill had been staying under an assumed name at St. Luke's Mission of Mercy, a homeless shelter and soup kitchen.
Bafflingly, Hill gave the station an interview in March, as part of a profile of a local pastor who gave homeless people a place to stay in exchange for work renovating a building.
I am sure this story will surprise some people, but should it really be all that shocking? You know what kind of person kills FOUR people? Someone that thinks they are invincible. Look at the Robert Durst trial. Dude just marched into court and said "yeah I hacked the body to pieces, but I didn't mean to kill him" and walked away scot-free. I stole a hot dog from a New York City vendor years ago and I still glance over my shoulder from time to time. That's why I am not a deranged killer. Well, that and I don't exactly possess the necessary thirst for blood. Regardless, if you are someone that can kill nearly a handful of people and still be present in public for over a year you would act like you were bulletproof too. What could match the 'thrill' of taking someone's life? Oh, I don't now, flashing your 'WANTED' mug right into the face of some news cameras? It's not like that appetite for danger is fleeting. You don't go from cold blooded murder to idly laying low in a homeless shelter for the rest of your life. Hell, I would be surprised if the "anonymous tip" wasn't sent by him just to see if he could get away with it. Sure, that makes no sense in a rational person's brain, but rational people don't kill three women and a child and then set the house aflame.
To the contrary of what the writer of the article says, I would say that someone that committed the abhorrent acts that Hill did DOES want publicity. I guarantee you he watched himself on the news with a smirk on his face once the story broke. That's what sociopaths do. If you don't think his ability to commit such crimes AND avoid consequences for such a long period of time is a source of pride for him then you don't realize the type of person we are dealing with. Not to trivialize the death of these four people, but it's not that Hill is a dumb criminal. More accurately he is too good of a criminal to get the face time that he feels he deserves.
P.S. Let's not act like justice is completely served yet...
But before he can stand trial, the government has to prove that Alexander Hill is the suspect they're looking for. Hill is scheduled to appear at an "identity hearing" in court Thursday, according to NBC affiliate station WBBT. If his identity is established, Hill will be extradited to Virginia.
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Cover32- Really, though, this pic is from the New Orleans Jazz Fest, where Ryan took in a Pitbull concert. And, no, I have no idea why Pitbull is performing at a Jazz Fest, either.
I honestly think that by saying that Rob Ryan strictly drinks beers two at a time like Stone Cold Steve Austin would only be small overstatement. The guy is so New Orleans it hurts. Rob Ryan talking through a crowd stacking beers two at time? I'm more surprised that a similar picture doesn't surface at least once a weekend.
There was a bunch of noise at the end of last season that Rob Ryan might lose his job as Saints Defensive Coordinator. Thank God that didn't happen. That mistake would have made the Ricky Williams trade look like a minor misstep. It would have made the Jonathan Sullivan draft look like a simple oversight. Rob Ryan needs to be in New Orleans. Think about this, the Saints have had a half decent defense for like 2 of the last 15 seasons? Rob Ryan has been responsible for half the productive defensive seasons since the turn of the century. Sure, last season was terrible, but the defense has been terrible 95% of the time regardless. If we are going to suck on defense anyway we might as well have a wildly entertaining coordinator that buys fans rounds at the bar and completely embraces the culture of the city. Shit, it could be worse. Spagnoula could still be here. Gregg Williams could be throwing the whole franchise under the bus for bounties. Ryan's defense may have been terrible last year, but I never doubted that he has anything but the team's best interest in mind.
I can already feel the buzz for next season, and apparently Rob Ryan can too. Give this man more beer. You think creative defensive packages are going to draw up themselves. A couple of domestic brews at a time to a Ryan is like spinach to Popeye. It's like steroids to Barry Bonds. I am already preparing for Goodell to suspend Ryan for performance enhancing substances after the Saints finish next season with the #1 defense in the league.
P.S. I don't know if I am more interested in why Pitbull is at The New Orleans Jazz Festival, or how Rob Ryan acts once the beat drops? Either way, the guy looks ready for football season...
I don't know If i am supposed to be happy because it's always funny when rappers go back and forth at each other, or sad that this is the most animosity I have seen between rappers in years. I mean, look at this nonsense...
Fast Forward 6 months....
Poor Drake. That's what you get when you're a light skinned rapper from Toronto that prematurely talks shit. Call the morgue, we got a body in the streets up North. You can use the same broom that the Raptors just fell victim to to sweep his remains off the street. It's almost not even fun to talk shit with Drake. It's like talking shit to your sister. She sends a barb your way, and you fire a shot back only for her to catch feelings. That's Drake. He's probably like "that's not even funny Wale, respect the sport man". Fucking loser.
When did 'Hit 'Em Up' just become another way of saying "text me later". When did 'Takeover' become album features. In a way it's good for the art that rappers aren't dying over rap beef anymore, but it's kind of bad for the listener. Diss tracks are some of the greatest songs in hip hop history. Now it's all about working together and trying not to offend your political connects. Hell, I would settle for the entirety of Shady records putting Ja Rule in the proverbial casket after he dropped "you say your mom is a crackhead, and Kim is a known slut, so what Haley gone be when she grows up?". I'm working myself into a frenzy just thinking about it. Now I have to settle for Wale carrying a championship belt and probably asking Drake to get on a song with him in a month or two. I'm no longer thinking about who's the next rap goon, just worried about the next person that's going to use autotune. You want to look at why the music is watered down? It's because all these guys are working together instead of competing against each other. It's a sad day in hip hop, but at least Drake got absolutely SONNED after his squad got embarrassed in the playoffs.
P.S. Society needs more Championship belts....in all walks of life.
I say this with not an ounce of hyperbole. I legitimately believe that 'Inside The NBA' is the premiere comedy show on television. I don't even know how you top three black men clowning each other with a nerdy white type facilitating the entire process. Charles Barkley and Shaq are just the the younger, funnier, blacker, hipper version of the 'Grumpy Old Men'. Shaq talking shit about Charles eating habits, Chuck talking shit about Shaq's foul shooting, while Kenny Smith encourages it and Ernie Johnson makes sure there is still some semblance of a format to the show/babysitting. I don't even think you have to be a basketball fan to enjoy it. I have never looked forward to intermissions more in my life. Depending on the series, some of these games are actually competing with their own halftime/postgame show in terms of entertainment value. I swear if you needed absolute proof that black people are funnier by nature, just watch these clowns talk nonsense for ten minutes.
"Yo Ernie, these mattresses real?" Never mind that Shaq is a 350 pound behemoth of a human being. Never mind that it's a 3 foot bed made for a dog. Can't just put a mattress in the studio and expect that a bunch of curious idiots won't test it out. Ernie's "no maaaan, SHAQ!" was the most genuine thing I ever heard. He's basically just an Uncle that is babysitting his 3 nephews. He doesn't want to scold them too bad, but he's still got to be somewhat of a disciplinarian. This is why 'Inside The NBA' can't have nice things. That dog bed lasted like 90 seconds. It was broken before Charles even got to thank the guy that made it. Just absolutely hilarious on ALL levels.
First of all, ho-ho-hollllly shit. What a series. Probably the best of the first round. I'm not positive, but I think I just watched an unlikely rivalry develop between Washington D.C. and Long Island over the course of two weeks. No matter what side you are on some more hatred between franchises is exactly what the NHL needs. Unbelievably physical, unbelievably close games. While the series could have gone either way, it's safe to say that the better team won. The Capitals absolutely dominated game seven, and despite my rooting interest are worthy of their appearance in the second round. With that said, every fan of hockey, that doesn't reside in Washington D.C., just missed out on a golden opportunity that has been 20+ years in the making. A Rangers/Islanders playoff series.
You thought a Capitals/Islanders series produced a lot of animosity? An all New York Eastern Conference semi-final would have made the Isareli/Palestinian conflict look like friendly fire. I was pretty critical about the new playoff format when it was first developed. For as awesome as it would have been for the new playoff system to force a civil war in New York, it's just as nauseating that we have to be subjected to a Rangers/ Capitals series ...AGAIN. I'm not even joking. despite how good the hockey may be, I may not even tune it for a single minute of that series. I just can't watch those two teams play again. I'm done. I am oversaturated. If I have to hear about the Ovechkin/Lundqvist dynamic for more than two minutes I might Van Gogh myself. In contrast, I would have been completely engulfed by an Islanders/Rangers series. I would have paid more attention during that than my last STD test.
I suppose it's a bit hypocritical of me. The new playoff format would have been responsible for an all New York series and all would have been well, at least for me. On the other hand, the very same playoff format is responsible for me being subjected to, what feels like, the same series I have seen every year for the last ten years. All matchups aside, I think it's better that rivalries manifest themselves organically in the playoffs. After all, the best part of series that feature bad blood is the novelty of them. I think an annual occurrence forces them to lose their luster. I understand the NHL's attempt to build their brand, and I better get used to it because it's not changing anytime soon. However, at the end of the day, we are all losers for not getting to see one of the best rivalries in hockey take it's true shape over the course of a week or two of playoff hockey.