The NHL's Suspension Of Max Domi Is Just As Cowardly As The Sucker Punch He Threw In Cutting Open Aaron Ekblad
The preseason? The WHOLE preseason? You mean, ALL the games that are of no consequence to someone whose spot on the roster is already solidified regardless?
Whew, I figured they would come down hard on the person who flipped out over a harmless shove, subtly de-gloved, and used a sucker punch to bloody the face of unwilling combatant who, as a (regular) seasoned veteran, was just trying to go through the motions of a contest that was virtually meaningless to the both of them. I just can't believe they decided on a suspension that oh-so-coincidentally lasts righhhhht up until the games start having actual ramifications. How is Max Domi ever going to condition himself for the season that matters if he can no longer skate around picking frivolous fights with whoever he so chooses during the "season" that doesn't? Oh, the horror!
Oh well, at least we can rest assured that the player who was completely illiterate to the lack of seriousness of the situation he was in when he popped an unsuspecting opponent in the mouth for almost no reason whatsoever will have definitely learned his lesson after having sat comfortably in a luxury suite and bullshitted his way through a couple practice games. After all, nothing sends the message that the league is serious about player safety quite like ensuring a player's safety up until the season opener, even if said player acted like a dangerous douchebag during his short preseason appearance.
In all seriousness though, can we suspend the members of the NHL's 'Department Of Player Safety' for the remainder of the preseason? If Max Domi is getting slapped on the wrist for being a complete coward then why shouldn't those whose balls shriveled up when it came time to put his ass on notice when he'd actually take notice not face a similarly insignificant punishment? Let's get some interns who aren't afraid to do the dirty work of making a tough decision in that office so that players know they can't just run around being scumbags without risking any real sacrifice throughout the month of September. You know, sort of like they do at the end of the season while knowing that their employer is too gutless to ever let a suspension carry over into the postseason.
I'm just spitballing here, but maybe they should have let Max Domi finish out the preseason and enforced his suspension to start the regular season. I'm no expert, but isn't making him feel as though he's missing out on something he actually cares the most important aspect of punishing someone for being a spineless prick? If nothing else, it seems like a better course of action than hoping that a few nights off during a rigorous training camp will somehow cleanse him of his inherited idiocy...
Senators' GM Pierre Dorion Seemed Rather Perplexed When Asked To Say One Single Positive Thing About The Roster He Built
Against my better judgement, I'm willing to give Pierre Dorion the benefit of the doubt here. I'm sure there were more words that followed a defense of his dumpster fire that was literally the most literal answer ever given. Unfortunately, what I'm not willing to grant him is the assumption that any of those hypothetical words were more encouraging of Ottawa's outlook than "we're a team".
Admittedly, I'm no mind reader. That said, if only given the following still-shot to figure it out, I would've guessed that the man who just dumped a handful of pocket change into his prospect pool in exchange for a generational defenseman had his futile attempt at an optimistic answer interrupted by an off-screen, Final Destination-esque video foreshadowing his own death...
If that wasn't Pierre Dorion realizing there's no meaning to his miserable life while high on mushrooms then it was him getting caught looking straight down into the irrelevant abyss in which his franchise is set to plummet in just a few short weeks. I'm not sure I have ever seen anyone more physically overwhelmed by an open-ended question in my entire life, never mind one as simple as "just say SOMETHING nice about the group of professional athletes you've assembled...".
Those commentators couldn't have been made things any easier in putting one on a platter for him, and he proceeded to look as though he was paralyzed by the reflection of his own inept organization in said platter. I didn't think that anything could make me feel worse about the Ottawa Senators' future than seeing the return on the Erik Karlsson trade, and somehow - while making a puff appearance in between periods - their General Manager did just that with the pessimism of his prolonged silence.
Victor Rask Is Out Indefinitely Due To The Injuries Incurred During A Run-In With Some Cutlery In His Kitchen
Listen, I'm not one to tell people how to spend their money. If Victor Rask is fond of the frugality of prepping his own food like one of us peasants then all the power to him...and his surgical team. There's definitely something to be said about rounding yourself into form as a functioning adult by knowing you way around the kitchen, so I'm not going to imply that learning to dice your own veggies isn't a fairly respectable initiative.
It's just my personal belief that there is even more to be said about rounding yourself into form as a professional athlete who is making multiple millions of dollars a year for the foreseeable future by maintaining round fingertips as opposed to accidentally mixing them in with the onions.
Point being, it's a slap in the face to every idiot that dreams of having the annual salary to be served professionally prepared meals, that perfectly intertwine nutritional value and taste, from the comfort of his/her own couch. Daily sustenance is the type of thing that people of modest means convince themselves to take pride in because they know they have to do it anyway, so why not do it well? Being a good cook, while being an honorable quality, is just wildly overrated when you have the money to make sure the hand that feeds you both has all its fingers and belongs to great chef.
Therefore, if I were Victor Rask, I would need no more incentive than the overdone jokes (as he's not even the first pro athlete to fall victim to culinary cluelessness this year) currently being made at his expense on the internet to put down the knife and pick up the checkbook. The slight risk of sawing yourself is for the common folk, and it isn't worth the self-rewarding feeling of a pat on one's own back that works double duty in helping an amateur cook choke down his food. By rough estimate, making 4 million per year in the Carolinas is like making 40 million per year elsewhere, so it's about time he splits the difference as opposed to his shooting hand.
Erik Karlsson Got Traded To The Sharks For A 2020 1st Round Pick And Whatever Else San Jose Happened To Have In Their Pocket At The Time
The trade of a transcendent talent that can play half the game, and change each and every facet of it in the process, netting merely a future 1st round pick and a handful of guys whose names could just as easily be replaced by those from a neighborhood petition to enforce speeding more strictly should be shocking. The Senators holding strong to their demands for a good chunk of last season and the entirety of the summer, only to turn around and flip an absolute freak of a future Hall Of Famer at the most sought after of position for a "who's who?" of San Jose's farm system should have me picking up the pieces of my jaw off the floor.
I just can't say that it does.
Look no further than the Sharks' team that just added another predator to the most dangerous of depths in their pool of defenseman getting more value out of Mike Hoffman than the team he helped make toxic in the first place for proof that the worst the NHL has to offer is just that for a reason...
Getting fleeced for Erik Karlsson might be one of the more egregious examples of organizational incompetence, but that's probably only because Marc Bergevin has run out of open beers to ask his fellow GM's to hold. Bad teams make bad trades, and it's gotten to a point where they do so with such a clear lack of shame that I can no longer, in good conscience, act surprised. Eugene Melnyk has already shown his greed by threatening to move the team, so the idea that the man who works under him chose quantity over quality is, if nothing else, extremely on-brand.
What this means for San Jose is that they will fittingly terrorize teams with the 1-2 punch of Brent Burns and Erik Karlsson, while somehow still having more than enough veteran star power up front to threaten the best the Western Conference has to offer. That said, this deal was such a no-brainer from the Sharks end that the more intriguing aspect of it sort of feels like the active brainlessness of a victim that now seems as though it was just wading in the trade waters while soaked in its own blood.
The Humboldt Broncos Got Back To Playing Hockey Last Night, Which Was Always Going To Feel Like It Was Too Soon
And as comes as a result of all tragedies, we are given yet another reminder that life - as the teammates, friends, and families of the most innocent of victims never knew it before - does indeed go on, even if it is somewhat uncomfortable in doing so.
I caught myself re-watching an NHL playoff game from last season yesterday, and when the camera happened to pan across the sticker that graced the back of every player's helmet in memoriam of the Humboldt Broncos my heart instinctually sank. The only affiliation I have with a junior team from a province in Canada that I'll never feel comfortable spelling without Google is that I too have ridden in a bus to play competitive hockey. Yet, the mere sight of their logo still resonated with me five months after it became internationally known for the most senseless of reason.
I guess what I am trying to say is that, regardless of the game's necessity to go on, it took courage for every person in that building last night to take the most daunting of steps forward into a house that, to some, still needs to be made un-synonymous with horror. In its totality, what ended up a loss on the scoreboard for the Humboldt Broncos was a massive win for their community, but it certainly wasn't accompanied by the type of unadulterated joy that comes with most victories. Instead, I'd imagine the emotions were quite conflicting at every single level of an organization that, try as it may, will never quite be the same again.
As refreshing as it was to see that particular team and that particular crowd erupt with excitement upon the scoring of their season opening goal, it seemed only as long overdue as it seemed way too soon. I'm no therapist, but I'd presume that's what it's supposed to feel like when you move forward while paying mind to those passed.
I can't possibly comprehend what it must have been like to step foot on that rink knowing what it meant to so many people. I do, however, know that every stride taken on that ice was much more powerful in a figurative sense than it was a literal sense for those saying hello to a new season before saying one more goodbye to some old friends.
Someone Get Lou Lamoriello A Xanax, Because The New Jersey Devils Are Taking Part In A 'Hard Knocks' Style Docuseries For NHL Network
First, a mild concern. Documentaries require cameras, camera crews can be a distraction, and a young team that made no significant upgrades after making the playoffs by all of one single point last season can't afford distractions. I hardly think what was a hungry team has been made complacent by a postseason appearance, especially considering the fact that said postseason appearance was of the humbling variety. Still, John Hynes' responsibility to keep his team focused towards taking the next step in becoming a true contender is undoubtedly made at least a little more difficult by contending for their attention with those eventually relaying their inner-workings to a television audience.
Luckily, what some (myself not included) may perceive John Hynes to lack in personnel expertise, he more than makes up for in motivational tactics and leadership qualities. If there's one thing that was undeniably true about the New Jersey Devils last year it's that they may as well have worn a patch bearing Taylor Hall's likeness, as the logo on the front of their jersey was basically synonymous with the name on #9's back. However, if there was a second thing that was undeniably true about the New Jersey Devils last year, it's that they bought completely in to the coaching staff's vision and message.
For that reason, I have actively suppressed that initial concern in prioritizing the excitement born of the opportunity to get a second-hand look into something that was once as rarely seen at the Prudential Center as a regular season beard. That, of course, being an exciting and fun Devils' team that is likable both on and off the ice. As a fan, I've personally found the outdated 'boring' label to be as unintelligible as it was lazy, but the the truth of the matter is that giving the team we saw last year any amount of the airtime they've been denied by the NHL and NBC Sports will entirely disarm those that still repeat it ad nauseam.
In both play and personality, the Devils are as intriguing as a group as they have ever been. That has a lot to do them presumably confiscating personalities at the door until Ray Shero showed up, but it's also has to do with his long overdue commitment to patience providing them captivating young talent like that of Nico Hischier, Will Butcher, Jesper Bratt, and Miles Wood to satisfy the Taylor Hall and Kyle Palmieri types that can suddenly see a fruitful future in New Jersey.
This idea doesn't get signed off on unless the front office and the coaching staff believed in the cohesiveness of a young group that's entirely capable of dispelling a stereotype that dates back to last century. Therefore, I can't wait to flip to NHL Network and watch them do just that in preparation of building on the enthusiasm they inspired last season. I think the reward outweighs the risk, even if both make Lou Lamoniello's stone-face sour, as what was once his fortress gets glorified as an inviting and entertaining workplace with the ability to attract professional athletes.
Former NHLer (And MAGA Enthusiast) David Booth Took Umbrage With Nike's Colin Kaepernick-Inspired Slogan With An Argument You Truly Have To See To Believe
I really, deeply, and truly hate to say this, but I think I feel bad for David Booth. Never mind the fact that, like many people at either extreme of the political spectrum, his general point of view on just about everything has been poisoned by the President and thus resulted in him looking dangerously moronic in a public forum. For I am much more concerned with how miserable an existence it must be to actively put yourself in the Nike's of the type of jive Jihadist that watches Jordan commercials to inspire himself to just Jumpman when hanging out the door of a plane with a bomb strapped to his chest.
I mean, we're talking about a guy that used to play the highest level of puck for a living, and now he spends more time thinking like a terrorist than actual terrorists. Sheesh, I hope he knows Red Bull doesn't actually give people wings, or we might see him on the 5 o'clock news tackling brown people whose biggest crime was being energy depleted. I would suggest therapy as a solution, but ISIS only knows how a psychologist's motivational motto might get misinterpreted when David Booth puts on his thinking Turban and takes it laughably literally.
Now, I do find it suspicious that he never seemed to have taken umbrage with the insanely large logical fallacy of 'Just Do It' before it was superimposed on the face of Colin Kaepernick. That's definitely a bit weird, but still somehow less worrisome than him being more cynical than a suicide bomber when referencing slogans aimed at selling sneakers (that don't actually help you to fly) in the most irrelevant context possible.
Oh well, I think we just need to play this safe and keep him away from all forms of mindless propaganda, as clearly there is nothing that gets him more rattled than vague rallying cries that could be used as the impetus for unnecessary violence when digested by the dumbest of the dumb...
Washington Cap'd Off Their Championship Summer By Getting A Light Ban Put On Keg Stands Out Of The Stanley Cup
WashingtonPost- It was June 9, 2018, just two days after Washington won a franchise-first championship. It was also the day of another first, when a tradition of using the 126-year-old trophy for keg stands — or Cup stands — was born.
“[Keg stands] haven’t really been that popular in the hockey world, I guess,” said Philip Pritchard, who has been taking care of the Stanley Cup for the past 30 years.
Pritchard repeatedly praised how the Capitals have reverently handled the Cup, but he said he has been “advising” them to quit the Cup stands for fear of damage. Still, there were at least two instances as recently as forward Chandler Stephenson’s day with it Aug. 24 and former assistant coach Lane Lambert’s on Aug. 26.
“We ask them politely not to do it,” Pritchard said. “We’re trying to preserve the history of the Stanley Cup. We don’t want any unnecessary damage to it or a person, in case they drop the person or he presses too hard or something.”
You know, as disappointed as I am by the shooting-star-in-the-glossy-and-dilated-pupil-of-Alexander-Ovechkin-esque lifespan of Stanley Cup keg stands, I think I am okay with it being something that OD'd with the sobriety of the team that officially fathered it. Though the practice itself might be responsible for a few, there's no paternity test necessary to know for certain that the Washington Capitals brought the upside-down chugging out of championship trophies into this world, so it's only right they be the ones that lay it to rest for good.
After all, we aren't just talking about the greatest trophy in all of sports. We are also talking about the trophy that has undoubtedly seem the most shit in sports. To be able to give it a new experience after all these summers alongside the most drunken of degenerates at their most delightfully debaucherous is damn near impossible. I don't know how it took until now for pro hockey players to go heels-over-head in guzzling out of something with a wide base that basically begs to be used for support in a frat-boyish-style of binge drinking, but the battered, beaten, and eternally bound boys who eventually did definitely earned their due.
Now, I don't exactly think that polite suggestions are going to be the death of Cup stands, but if Philip Pritchard gets a little stricter in keeping Lord Stanley's chalice safe from the body weight of boozehounds then they will have lived a short, but full life while keeping the most deserving of company. If nothing else, the unforgettable celebration of the Capitals first title makes quite the fitting finale.
I hesitate to say this, as words like "stop" and "no" only stand to encourage the subject in question, but don't do it...don't you do this Jalen Ramsey. I'm not what anyone would consider opposed to arrogance in sports, but let's try to keep it within the realm of reality here. Not that the Jaguars' contentious, All-Pro corner would ever try to be someone he's not, but if he's going to keep running his mouth nonstop then I'd prefer it keep up with the standard set by Joel Embiid, as he's far too talented to be falling back to the level of LaVar Ball.
While I love the cockiness, it's just not nearly as effective when it's based on absolutely nothing. Like, the beauty of Jalen Ramsey's trash talk is that it typically makes you think, if not nod along in agreement. Him proclaiming he could play in the NHL six months after teaching himself how to properly lace up a pair of ice skates does neither, as it's nothing more than spewed nonsense for the sake of shock value. People like Jalen Ramsey's animosity because he says what his peers are afraid to, not because he says what his peers are too intelligent to. Again, I love the shit talk, but I'd prefer it not be annunciated directly from his ass, if only to avoid him being confused for one of Ace Ventura's speech pathology patients.
For a man so rich with validated confidence, this was a cheap headline grab, as hovering around 6-feet tall and being predominantly white doesn't make NHL players any less remarkable or more replicable as professional athletes that needed to master one sport to even have a chance to become the best at another. He surely already knows that, but the always thick-skinned hockey community doesn't know that he knows that, so he's on his own in dealing with the online mob he undoubtedly incited for no reason other than seeking attention he was already getting regardless.
Marty Brodeur Is Reportedly Taking A Role With The New Jersey Devils, And All Is Once Again Right In The World
To be totally honest, Devils' fans have had a whole hell of a lot of more important things to worry themselves with over the last few years, as the organization stripped itself to the barest of bones in starting from scratch. For that reason, an everlasting face of the franchise taking up employment in a front office other than that of New Jersey's wasn't exactly of the upmost concern.
No matter where his career took him, Martin Brodeur's legend was always going to live on, in all its transcendent glory, both in the Prudential Center rafters and outside the doors on which his statue casts a 13 foot shadow. For that reason, I never really faulted a player as hyper competitive as the most accomplished goaltender of all time for wanting to call it quits on his own terms, just as I never faulted him for taking up a team that was in a better position to give him those terms up on their offer to take his talents to the owner's suite. It was definitely weird temporarily knowing Martin Brodeur as something other than a New Jersey Devil, but letting ties to the past get in the way of a brighter future became all-too-characteristic of Lou Lamoriello, not the man that's done an unbelievable job in replacing him. Sentimentality aside, prolonging the split just made a lot of sense.
All that being said, the news that Martin Brodeur is returning to the franchise under which he endearingly became known as "Marty" and eternally became "better" couldn't be more welcomed. Only he knows exactly what type of role he's accepted under Ray Shero, but mixing a dose of old in with the new puts a nice twist on what's been a pretty damn successful turnaround thus far. Just having him around the building where his footprints are unmistakable will be cool, regardless of his level of influence in it. For now it doesn't really matter whether or not round two of the relationship ends up lasting anywhere near as long as round one, as we should just appreciate what feels like a fanbase's favorite Uncle coming back to live under the same roof for indefinite period of time. Add in the bonus that he'll officially be with the New Jersey Devils as his induction into the 'Hall Of Fame' as a New Jersey Devil is being celebrated, and it makes for pretty exciting news during an otherwise quiet offseason.
Welcome back Marty, I suppose it was only a matter of time...
Jacob De La Rose Took A Broken Resistance Band To The Ass While Training, Thus Concluding The Montreal Canadiens Season Preview
There it is, in all its glory. By "it" I don't just mean the inherent hilarity that comes as a result of someone crumbling to the ground with an unexpected pain in the posterior, but also the perfect microcosm of the current state of the most decorated organizations in the history of sports.
I honestly don't mean to make more of this than it actually is, but...like...how could I not? There's just something too fitting about someone dressed head-to-toe in a Canadiens uniform busting his hump in an effort to improve...only to end up laying lifeless on the ice with an unforgettable sting inside hump. That second-rate resistance band might as well be every trade that Marc Bergevin has made over the last 3-4 years, as each attempted stride in the right direction only made the resulting bite in the ass that much bigger.
I feel bad for Jacob De La Rose, as he's a talented kid who is clearly striving to make sure his young career outlives a depressing workplace. That said, due to no fault of his own, his shoddy training equipment basically made him a better visual representation of what we should expect out of his franchise this upcoming season than anything said franchise could have scraped together in between counterproductive personnel decisions.
Not to be too Frosty towards a once proud organization, but there must have been some black magic in that practice jersey he found, for when he placed it over his head he began to feel as if he had just been given a spinal tap. It's more than likely just a coincidence, but it's one that should be replayed on loop via Montreal's JumboTron to distract from the pain in the ass product the Canadiens will be putting on the ice.
Training Camp Hasn't Even Started Yet And Taylor Hall Has Already Solidified His Spot On The Hands Team
If you told me I absolutely had to manufacture one complaint about Taylor Hall from during his award winning season it would be that the monstrous balls he was dragging throughout his 26 game point streak presumably got in the way of the toe of his stick when he had the unmitigated gall to attempt that exact same "now you see it, now you don't"-type move at full speed with a defender on his back while in the middle of a playoff race against the then back-to-back Stanley Cup Champions...
Therefore, I guess you could say he's spent his offseason doing what all great players do in working out a particular kink in their game. Apparently those kinks get pretty, pretty small when you're voted the MVP of the entire league, as Taylor Hall appears to have honed his offseason efforts into making goaltenders look more and more shameful with a higher rate of success. I can't say I had any concerns about him working to get better, but I'll never not be made more comfortable by watching him make goalies look even worse with hands that certainly haven't cooled off since lifting the Hart Trophy.
The Vancouver Canucks Are Apparently In On Erik Karlsson Trade Talks, Which Is Nothing If Not Absolutely Hilarious
I know it sounds ridiculous, as the only criteria that the Canucks fit as a team that Erik Karlsson might want to spend the rest of his career with is that they aren't named the Senators, but I really think we need to keep an eye on Vancouver here.
I mean, I don't see the logic in one of the most exciting defenseman in the entire league going from spending the first half of his career in a poorly run and largely irrelevant franchise that brings shame to the homeland of hockey to choosing to spend the latter half of his career with a franchise that might as well be its drinking partner. However, watching from a far as Vancouver's inebriated ass stumbles up to the bar to try their hand at flirting with the most flawless beauty in there is sure to produce some gut-busting laughs. At some point someone will have to step in and call them an Uber home when they start slurring their words while talking about some fictitious future together with an uninterested party who is clearly out of their league. That said, the only thing funnier than them thinking they have a shot is the visual of them shooting it 60 feet wide.
Erik Karlsson and the Vancouver Canucks are about as good of a mix long-term as oil and water if the oil was of the upmost premium quality and the water was spit out by Travis Green when he saw the contract that Jim Benning gave Jay Beagle. There's just not a single thing that the latter has to offer the former that he hasn't already suffered through, which might mean the comedic gold of that sales pitch could knock this one down to silver...
They did it. They actually did it.
With each passing year that Lou Lamoriello has been away from the franchise with whom he'll forever be most closely associated, the traditions by which he stood steadfast in creating a successful culture have slowly but surely started to fade. For an example of just how much things have changed since Ray Shero took over, look no further than an exceptionally talented rookie immediately stepping into a huge role as a first line center with the once outlawed #13 stitched into the back of a jersey that had just undergone it's first redesign since 1992. An update in organizational philosophy was long overdue, for if an official third jersey even came to existence on Lou's watch (which is unlikely in itself) then he'd probably send his goons to Adidas HQ to make sure news of it traveled by snail mail as opposed to social media, but it was still a bit weird to see the franchise ever so slightly distance itself from the beliefs and history that made it unique. Even if said beliefs and history were a bit rooted in one old man's stubbornness.
For that reason, when I say that they did it, I mean they did both nothing and everything in bringing back the inaugural home whites with Christmas colors that are simultaneously a blast from the past and a breath of fresh air. You'll undoubtedly find some Devils fans that were hoping for something with black as the base color. However, I personally think tipping a proverbial cap to the formative years of the franchise by way of a classically clean look that still pops off the (web) page while recognizing simpler times is the perfect mix of old and new. John McMullen is somewhere up there smilin' while the team he brought to New Jersey is down here stuntin', so as far as I'm concerned they couldn't have been more fashion forward in throwing it back to the 80's in a way that might even force Lou Lamoriello to actively suppress his happiness.
And so it begins, the insanely optimistic and inevitably disappointing period in which delusional Devils' fans talk themselves into believing that an immediate upgrade to the left side of a defense that's as thin as Nico Hischier's forearms is coming from within. In reality, Ty Smith playing any more than nine NHL games (which would be a pretty big surprise in itself) this upcoming season is a pipe dream that would speak just as glowingly about him as it would speak critically of his competition. But you know what they say, don't stand on the tracks as the hype train is coming through!
The fact that a 18 year old who was drafted in the latter half of the first round and plays the position with the biggest learning curve has even the most outside of shots at making the NHL roster mere months after being drafted is a huge credit to a hockey IQ that is reportedly wise beyond it's years. Again, I don't expect even the most spectacular of September to make me vulnerable enough to start believing in Ty Smith's ability to torch a year of his ELC in setting the world on fire, but I also didn't expect a defenseman to casually notch a hat trick the first time he took the ice in a Devils' jersey so what the hell do I know? If only because it would add a hell of a lot of drama to training camp, I would love to proven wrong...even if it all-but-guarantees I'll hate myself for being weak-minded when he is inevitably sent back down regardless.
The Canucks Are Confiscating Youth Lacrosse Jerseys Bearing 'Johnny Canuck' Due To Copyright Infringement, As They Presumably Hate Themselves
VancouverSun- The Vancouver Canucks won’t return to the ice until next month, but when it comes to protecting their copyright, the franchise has no offseason.
Their latest opponent is a pick-up team at this weekend’s Top Cheese three-on-three youth lacrosse exhibition in Langley.
The team, which has no formal name and is comprised of just four pre-teen boys, was planning to wear a customized jersey featuring a modified version of the Johnny Canuck logo carrying a lacrosse stick.
The boys were going to be participating in a “fun day” event organized by a youth academy run by the Vancouver Stealth, the local National Lacrosse League team recently purchased by the Canucks. Participants dress up in silly clothes or made-up uniforms for an informal, day-long tournament.
The jerseys in question made the rounds on social media earlier in the week, leading some to speculate online that the design might be a sneak peek of the sweaters for a re-branded Stealth team, which will begin its season under Canucks Sports & Entertainment ownership in December. But the Canucks shut that speculation down in a hurry, demanding that the unsanctioned jerseys be turned over to the franchise upon completion of the tournament.
“I hear that now that the Canucks want the jersey back,” said Rob, a father who commissioned the uniforms from Port Coquitlam’s Xtreme Threads and paid roughly $1000 for their creation. He declined to give his last name out of concern that the Canucks might target him legally, an expensive process he can’t afford.
“It’s a fun tournament,” he said. “They want (the jerseys) back to destroy them. No way, shape or form am I looking to profit anything from this, or looking to take any money from this,” he said. “It was done because my son came to me and wanted to put a team together for this tournament.”
Reached for comment by Postmedia, Canucks Sports & Entertainment said the lacrosse jerseys “created confusion”.
“We were made aware that a local jersey company created and supplied jerseys for a team to participate in a weekend lacrosse tournament,” said the organization. “While we applaud the ingenuity of the fan that suggested the concept, the company did not have the right to use either the Johnny Canuck or Stealth trade-marks in the design. The use has created confusion as we are heading into a team and logo launch for Vancouver’s new National Lacrosse League Team.”
I suppose it's important to start by saying that I know the business of sports to be a cutthroat one, and thus the protection of any and all copyrights as a part of such is more likely to make Donald Trump's dream scenario for border patrol seem lenient by comparison. As over-the-top as confiscating custom lacrosse jerseys following an otherwise meaningless youth tournament may seem, Canucks Sports & Entertainment is just doing their job by attempting to do so.
That being said, in a way fitting of a bouncer who strictly enforces the dress code in taking out his frustrations with his line of work on drunk 20-somethings in sneakers, I can't help but feel like the Canucks' entire operation would be a lot more likely to let something like this slide if they were comfortable with where they were at as a franchise. Hurt people hurt people, and no one is hurting more than an organization that couldn't leverage the emergence of the league's best rookie goal scorer into even one single nationally broadcasted game during his sophomore season. Playing the bad guy is in the job description of those enlisted to maintain the license of professional sports logos, but I'd imagine the pettiness has been ramped up the amount of pessimism they are surrounded by. Simply put, those lacrosse jerseys might not be causing such a stir if they weren't currently scheduled to get as much NBC airtime as the franchise they were derived from.
They can hide behind the "confusion" caused amongst a community of lax fans that's compact enough to clear it up themselves with couple retweets, but the truth is that you hardly ever see unfavorable headlines that are wildly unnecessary trailing alongside good teams. All this story did was remind me that the Canucks even had ownership over some super Canadian stereotype that, despite appearing workmanlike, couldn't earn a promotion over a largely irrelevant orca or an elementary illustration of a hockey stick. In essence, giving their cock a courtesy shake in raining on the parade of a handful of kids that, against all odds, actually want to let it be known that they are still Canucks' fans does more harm than good. Any team that wasn't made shortsighted by sucking (as a result of being made to suck by shortsightedness) probably would have realized that this was an impossible battle to win publicly. Unfortunately, the practice of projecting isn't just a thing that has people prematurely penciling Jack Hughes into Vancouver's 2019-2020 lineup.
Watching P.K. Subban Do A Wide Receiver Drill Will Give You A Whole New Appreciation For NFL Athletes
I hate to this about an All-World athlete that can hop on a pair of blades and change direction as fast as a bouncy ball thrown in a phone booth, but P.K. Subban looked kind of awkward and heavy-footed while running through that drill.
That, of course, is entirely relative to the lateral quickness of the people we usually see starring in these videos, and thus not nearly as much of a knock on P.K. Subban's route running as much as it is a massive compliment to those that do it professionally. Still, the same guy that can shave through an entire sheet of ice in fifteen seconds flat merely looked like a slightly above average athlete once he got on grass, which is nothing more than a reminder that we are spoiled by the absolute freaks that are able to move their feet at a mile a minute during football season. Just as spoiled as we are by having the pleasure to watch people that can do this, in fact...
The NHL's "Diversification" Of Their National Broadcast Schedule Is Largely A Farce, Which Is Still An Improvement For An Unapologetically Stubborn League
To be fair, did we really expect the NHL, of all leagues, to have a firm grasp on the meaning of the term "diversity"? By inflating the numbers instead of actually altering the percentages in any sort of equitable way, they basically acted as inclusive as a preppy fraternity that doubled the size of its average pledge class to feel better about the addition of black twins, but at least the wool they are pulling over our eyes this time around doesn't have a massive hole in it. As much of a farce as it is for them to claim diversification when five extremely predictable teams account for 37% of the schedule, this is a hell of a lot more respectable attempt at tricking the viewing public than dedicating a night of the week to the full-on fabrication of non-existent rivalries. I still see through their bullshit, but at least this time around I had to get a little closer and take a unpleasant whiff to tell that's exactly what it is.
This schedule is insanely top heavy with match-ups we've seen 300 times over featuring teams like the Blackhawks and Rangers whose pathetic performance last year isn't reflected in their national appearances next year. However, the NHL apparently does now care enough to try to shield our eyes before giving a public tug job to traditional markets. They are basically doing the equivalent of giving pity dates to ethic-looking women to prove there's no prejudice, but actually appearing self-aware to their stubborn reputation in making it seem like showcasing the entirety of their talent is their first priority is a step in the right direction...albeit a small one.
A Swiss League Saved A Scheduled Preseason Game By Placing A Bucket In The Middle Of The Rink To Make Up For A Leaky Roof
As a fan of the "we'll make it work" mentality, I find there to be very little more annoying than getting amped up to play a game only to have it canceled due to some unforeseen inconvenience. Therefore, I appreciate the ingenuity, as much genius as it lacked, that the Swiss League showed in not letting a minor leak rain on their preseason parade.
I guess I just have one question, and that is exactly how bad was this leak that a bucket was less of an obstacle than the puddle it was put in place of? Far be it for me to assume I could've done better, but inserting a goddamn garbage can as a makeshift forechecker seems like an overcorrection for anything less than a defensive zone flood warning. I understand that there was no time to give the roof some much needed TLC, but their means of precaution makes it seem as though they were chasing a mid-game waterfall in trying to put this meaningless practice game in books. Playing around a wet spot wouldn't have given anywhere near as preposterous a visual, so I do appreciate that they didn't keep it that simple. However, if this leak wasn't a precursor to the roof caving in then couldn't the damage it was causing have been swept up accordingly between whistles, as opposed to caught one drop at a time by a third defenseman?
In A Move That Reminds Us That Bad Blood Still Boils In The Summer, Ryan Kesler Randomly Called Out Ryan Johansen On Twitter For No Apparent Reason
I'd say the following are probably pertinent viewing as what little context can be provided for the most oddly-timed chirp...
I don't want to treat this as more than it actually is, with what it actually is being a professional athlete who prides himself on being a douchebag (and I mean that in the most respectable sense of the word) shamelessly living up to that label by choosing the quietest of times to get loud in the direction of a rival with which he harbors as personal a beef as you'll find in the NHL. When it comes to what they both provide on the ice at this point in their careers, Ryan Kesler is very much punching up at Ryan Johansen, and - with there being no publicly shared reason for him to do so during the dead summer - it comes across social media as snark that was motivated more so by boredom than bitterness.
That being said, I'll take what I can get when it comes to professional hockey players pissing on pleasantries and precedent in continuing their feud off the ice for all to see. As a fan that holds near and dear the nonsensical notion that every player I root for has an irrational hatred of every player with which he doesn't share a uniform, I appreciate this level of unrelenting resentment. It showed itself pretty randomly, but seeing as the summer is typically the time in which we are most often reminded of how tight-knit the hockey community is, it was a welcomed change to see two of its own plan to come to blows while talking out the trash.
There's no shortage of ways in which the NHL can learn from the NBA's mastery of Twitter as a marketing tool, and none the least of which is encouraging their players to air out their grievances by way of WiFi. Not that this is anything other the rarest of exceptions to the rule (as made obvious by their clear unfamiliarity with how to even use the app) and grown men that play a sport in which humility is too highly valued are going to start using public forums to lay the framework for long overdue street fights too often. However, I think I speak for all non-repressed hockey fans when I say that it would be a whole lot cooler if they did.