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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

A Basketball Writer's Marriage Vows Were All Sports References, So How Long Until He Regrets That?

11/14/2016

8 Comments

 
Picture

Find a girl who understands your sports reference wedding vows.@espn @BleacherReport @Deadspin @SportsNation @JJRedick @FloridaGators pic.twitter.com/2o7DMtFo9A

— Eric Fawcett (@Efawcett7) November 12, 2016

Credit where credit is due. I read "basketball writer gives vows made up entirely of sports references" and I already expected to loathe this video before I even heard one single line. The fact that I didn't hate it despite being preprogrammed to hate such a thing speaks to how well it was executed. Sure, it was clearly done for social media stardom, but I'm willing to let that slide because I can't help but appreciate the diversity of the analogies. Seamlessly fitting J.R. Smith, Ricky Henderson, J.J. Redick, Wayne Gretzky, Mark Messier, and multiple mentions of analytics into a speech and having it coming off as genuine is not easy, no matter what the intentions were behind it. 

That said, this was an awful decision. Assuming he's not suicidal, then his wife obviously gave this the stamp of approval before he went through with it. However, I don't see that mattering too much when she's holding this over his head for as long as they both shall live. I don't even think this ends in divorce because the new bride would be an idiot to give up her eternal upper hand. The guy just used the most honest, heartfelt, loving words he will ever say to his wife to go viral in the sports world. Something leads me to believe that this isn't the perfect relationship and therefore maintaining it will require a delicate series of checks and balances. This dude just pissed away his only bargaining chip in exchange for likes, retweets, and shares before he even consummated the union! I'm not even close to married and I know that the key to staying married is equality in the power struggle. This poor bastard will forever be crawling out of the grave he just unknowingly dug himself by being the worst dressed person at his own wedding and blatantly pandering to strangers on the internet. The Mrs. may have been cool with it when it happened, but there will come a day when it's used in an argument. On that day, and everyday forward, you can bet your sweet ass that Eric Fawcett will be saying to himself "it just wasn't fucking worth it".


​h/t FTW
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