A Cop Talked A Suicidal Man Off A Bridge By Discussing Football And I Can't Believe That It Actually Worked

Unbelievable. Simple unbelievable. No, I am not talking about the idea of a cop being able to stay cool under pressure and finding enough in common with a guy hanging off the side of a bridge to get close to him and save his life. That's certainly impressive and admirable, but it's not unbelievable. What is unbelievable is the fact that the guy hanging off the side of the bridge didn't swan dive to his death the second a stranger started trying to pander to him by talking about sports.

I don't have a suicidal bone in my body. Never have, never will. That being said, if I happened to be taking in the view from atop any type of elevated structure the quickest way to get me to leap desperately towards the bottom would be to engage me in a discussion about my teams for which you clearly have no knowledge. Back when I was sitting in a cubicle I would have dangerous, homicidal thoughts when co-workers tried to consult me on the potential outcome of upcoming games. You think I wouldn't take one single, inevitably fatal step to achieve the instant gratification of ending an unwanted, informed conversation about sports? If there's one thing that can get me to do something crazy that I'll probably end up regretting it's using my fandom against me to force a stop and chat that's not remotely close to being beneficial to me in any way. I'm glad all parties are safe, but - seeing as they are - I really have to question just how much that guy likes his Redskins and Gamecocks. Simply put, that cop's useless drivel about them would have sent any real fan careening to a watery grave while screaming "I can't take this shit anymore".