Kentucky- The odds were long, but a couple of University of Kentucky students decided it was worth the risk to climb through the ceiling ducts to a teacher’s office to steal a statistics exam.
Unfortunately for them, the teacher is a night owl. According to UK Police, UK statistics instructor John Cain had been working late in his third floor office in the Multidisciplinary Science Building on Rose Street on Tuesday night. About midnight, he left to get something to eat. When he returned about 1:30 a.m., he tried to unlock the door, but it was blocked by something. “He yelled out that he was calling the police and then the door swung open and two young men ran down the hallway,” recounted UK spokesman Jay Blanton. Shortly after police arrived, one of the students returned and confessed. Henry Lynch II, a 21-year-old junior majoring in biosystems engineering, gave police an earful, including that he’d climbed through the building’s air ducts to the ceiling above Cain’s office and dropped down into the room, then unlocked the door and let in his friend, sophomore Troy Kiphuth, 21, who was not in Cain’s class. Lynch also told them he had already tried to steal the exam earlier that evening around 6 p.m., but couldn’t find it. And, he said, it wasn’t the first time: Earlier in the semester, he’d successfully stolen another exam from Cain’s office, but he assured officers that he had not shared the answers with other students. ------ If there's one thing my father taught me growing up it's that working smart is just as important as working hard - if not more so. So while I appreciate the effort that this kid put in just to pass a college class, I must question the level of thought he put into it. Seriously, it makes total sense that the object of his desire was a statistics exam, because - statistically speaking - there is a whole hell of a lot more that can go wrong trying to drop through your professor's ceiling like a member of the SWAT team than there is in - oh, I don't know - writing some formulas down on a cheat sheet? This kid couldn't even do the math necessary to limit his chances of getting caught cheating in 'Statistics', so he damn sure wasn't a cram session away from passing the exam without a copy of it. I'm not so sure that the rate of success when breaking and entering like you watched 'Die Hard' one too many times was included in the testable material, but if it was then Henry Lynch definitely would have gotten that question wrong no matter how many times he looked over it in advance. If you had any doubts that this kid's analytical skills were too hopeless to improve by studying then just take a gander at the one problem he tried solving. Didn't get the exam, confessed to multiple crimes, and threw his all-too-generous accomplice who had nothing to gain in the first place right under the bus. Of course he needed an extra night to find a common denominator, this kid doesn't have a fraction of common sense.
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