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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

A Drunk Woman Killed Her Friend With A Slow Cooker Because Debating Politics is AWFUL

6/16/2015

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Yahoo- A Detroit woman who was drunk when she killed a friend with a slow cooker during an argument over presidential politics was sentenced Monday to at least 23 years in prison.

A judge followed the recommended sentence in a plea deal between prosecutors and Tewana Sullivan, who has a history of bipolar disorder but was declared competent to go to trial.

Sullivan, 51, beat Cheryl Livy, 66, with a slow cooker at the victim's Livonia apartment in October. At the time, Sullivan's blood-alcohol level was 0.41 — five times the level for drunken driving in Michigan, defense attorney John McWilliams said.

"I didn't take my medication like I was supposed to, so I did mess up," Sullivan told Wayne County Judge Michael Hathaway. "Without me taking my medication, that was the worst thing I could ever have done."




When I first started reading this story I was asking myself what could possibly get this drunk woman angry enough to kill her friend with slow cooker. I was starting to think it was just another crazy story about some meth head in Florida flying off the handle. Then I read one line and it all started to make sense...

"One was for one major political party and the other was for the other major political party."

And there you have it folks. This story just became totally reasonable, because the only thing more stupid than murdering someone with a cooking apparatus is arguing politics while drunk. Hell, politics are on my short list of things I won't argue, drunk or sober. You are not luring me into a conversation about religion or politics because that's an argument that will have no possible resolution. Those are the two topics that people will staunchly defend their views to an irrrational extent. Who knew all these years I had been walking away from the dinner table when the conversation switched to presidential candidates that I was saving myself a slowly cooked death?

 I have heard the most reasonable people say the most absurd things. The two things responsible for that shift in logic? Booze and politics. The two are so closely related it's actually disconcerting. Politics might as well be considered a mind altering drug, because while it doesn't affect your physical balance or stability, it absolutely affects your mental balance and stability. You may be able to walk straight, but you certainly aren't able to think straight. If alcohol is considered a drug then politics should be as well, and there is nothing scarier than a bunch of people high on the government. This woman can blame her inability to take her medication, but we all know where the real chemical imbalance stems from.

P.S. This blood is on your hands Hillary!
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