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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

A Former Member Of Ghana's Futbol Team Is Concerned That They Are Having Too Much Sex

10/5/2016

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DeadSpin- “A lot of today’s players cannot play 90 minutes because they get so tired easily. And you know why? Because they don’t sleep enough and don’t train enough and they engage in too much sex. There are beautiful young girls in Ghana and they won’t leave them alone.” Jabir said when speaking to a national radio station.

“There is time for sex and time for football, but if you mix the two you will never reach the top,” he said.



Look, I appreciate Malik Jabar's attempt at explaining Ghana's struggles in international competition with quite possibly the most humility-less brag of all time. Saying your home country's soccer team hasn't been able to progress because they literally can't stop fucking isn't the worst "excuse" I have ever heard. Unfortunately - unless you believe that South American soccer players are keeping all beautiful Brazilian booties at arm's length - then having a bunch of sex isn't something that is exclusive to Ghanaian athletes. In fact, I would argue that there is a direct correlation between success in futbol and the amount of pipe laid by the players that having that success. That's no knock on Ghana. I'm sure their roster is notching bedposts at a rate that would make Iceland look like a bunch of lowly virgins. However, it's a rate that is undoubtedly bested by the World Cup winning baby dicks over in Germany. Now if this dude want to tell me that Ghana's finest are more likely to suck down a post-coitus cigarette and turn over for a nap than hit the gym and get some reps in then I would be more willing to believe him, but I'm not buying that they are getting busier in the sheets than the Argentinians. I don't care how many young, beautiful girls reside in his country, winning makes women of all nationalities much wetter than losing does. Always has, always will.
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