OnwardState- State College Police have cited former Nittany Lions goaltender Matt Skoff for allegedly peeing on two people in the Primanti Bros. restroom on Friday night, according to The Daily Collegian.
On Tuesday, police identified Skoff as the man from reports over the weekend that first urinated on the leg of a man while waiting in line for the restroom, then proceeded to break into a stall and peed on another person who was using the bathroom.
Skoff was one of the starters from Penn State’s first season in NCAA hockey as a freshman. He played for Guy Gadowsky’s team from 2012-2016 and is the record holder in a number of categories in net as the only goalie with four-year starting experience.
This is such classic goalie behavior. I guess I should clarify that statement. I don't mean to say that the men behind the masks for more likely to whip it out and mark unsuspecting strangers as their territory after a couple dozen drinks. I do mean to say that no one could have possibly seen Matt Skoff's stream coming, and that's exactly the type of unpredictability that's predictable from those that choose - at a young age - to thanklessly block vulcanized rubber instead of garnering the praise by putting it in the net.
Now, I'm sure the guy that had another man's urine soaking into the ass of his favorite Levi's didn't care whether the drunk asshole treating him like a human toilet was a netminder or an astronaut. The sorry son of a bitch that finally gave in to the knot in his stomach and decided to pinch one off in public? Probably not going to feel any better about the incident after finding out about the athletic prowess of the man who channeled R. Kelly playing Tony Soprano by kicking in the stall door and blasting him in the chest with a pitcher of re-purposed Natty Light.
However, if I were in that ever-so-unfortunate situation and someone told me that he was a hockey goalie then maybe I would have let him up for air and muttered "fucking figures" before trying to flush his head back down the toilet. They are simply a different breed of human, and - while they don't always treat you like a fire hydrant while you're patiently waiting to relieve yourself - they are liable to act equally as strange.