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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

 A French Couple Fell Into A Moat And Died While Having Sex On A Castle

8/24/2015

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Independent- A French couple have fallen to their death while having sex at a historic fortress, it has been reported.

The couple in their early thirties apparently fell into the moat from the walls surrounding the castle at the Vauban Fort on the island of Chausey Archipelago in the English Channel. Reports have said the drop into the moat is 40ft high.

The naked bodies of a man and woman, who were both born in 1984, were found on Thursday morning.

Their belongings were reportedly found "above" at the castle.  The man was found in a dried-out part of the moat while the body of a woman was found immersed in shallow water.

Police in the area told French Le Figaro newspaper that it was possible the pair were engaging in "lovemaking that could have gone wrong".



It's easy to pick on people when they basically reenact a scene that was cut from '10,000 Ways To Die'. However, I feel like we collectively harp too much on the misfortunes of others when maybe, just maybe, we are doing so to cover up some insecurities in ourselves. Yeah, this couple is dead, and that sucks, but if they were alive they would have the best fucking answer ever to "where is the craziest place you've had sex?". Sure, it would be easy for me to sit here as a living, breathing human being and criticize their choices, or balance for that matter, but you know what? I refuse to do that. I've never had sex on top of a castle wall? Have you? Yeah, exactly, jokes on us, that's probably the best climax ever. I don't know everything about sex, but I do know its way more enjoyable when you either have the potential to get caught or die. That's just a fact. Autoerotic asphyxiation, ever heard of it? Now, I will never do that, but that just makes me a big, prudish pussy that apparently doesn't respect a life changing orgasm enough, it doesn't make the castle fuckers any less respectful of their own lives.

How dare anyone that is suffering through the monotony of mundane midriff money shots chastise the deceased. Ohhh, the guy that's been leaving the same pool of sperm in the swell of his girlfriend's back for the last decade is going to question the sexual conquests of others? That dead guy probably didn't even get to cum and he had more pleasure in the 5 minutes of sex he had prior to plummeting to his death than 90% of the people reading this have had in the last year. Congrats on finally slipping it in the butt bro. Too bad King fucking Arthur over there just wheel barreled some broad 50 feet into a moot with one over exuberant pump. That fucking story would be a show stopper every time. I might just steal it since they'll never get to use it. Something that kinky is deserving of reaching the next generation.
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