A Guy Lost His New Job When He "Accidentally" Sent Two Dick Pics To His HR Manager

VICE- Unfortunately, that's just what a 23-year-old from Aurora, Illinois, did in August, according to the Chicago Tribune. Now he's got some explaining to do to the cops.

"There was a conditional offer of employment made to this particular applicant," Michael Ruth, the police chief involved with the case, told the Tribune. "He texted the HR director and sent a nude photo of himself."

When the HR manager decided not to respond, the guy, naturally, sent another. Then he opted to call, presumably to double check that the pics were going through. The phone call alerted the manager to the identity of the man behind the cock shots, and she went straight to the police. 

"My understanding is they've rescinded the offer of employment," said Ruth. 

According to the police report the guy was trying to send the sexts to someone else, but blasted them to the HR manager by mistake.


Oh yeah? Accidental, huh? Let my ask you guys a question. Even if you caught your shaft in the most perfect of lighting and wanted to send it to your human resources manager, wouldn't it take a little bit of research to get her cell phone number? Hell, even if he just happened to collect it in his phone at some point during the interview process, you don't accidentally send back to back dick pics. Dick pics, much like shameless shit talking about your friends, are those texts where you double check to make sure you know exactly who they are being sent to. They certainly don't go to a random number that's not in the contact list. So either this guy, who is apparently sticking with the story that he "accidentally" send two consecutive pictures of his genitals to the wrong person, is the most careless person in the world, or he's an employee that is trying to set a precedent. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and NOT take him at his word, because it was definitely the latter.

What's the biggest hurdle when you start a new job? Why, it's letting your employer know what they can expect out of you, of course. Most people hide their true self until they officially sign on the dotted line. Then, and only then, do they start spending hours fucking around on their phone, or playing computer games when their boss isn't looking, or sexually harassing every half-decent piece of ass in the office. Not this guy. He's got too much integrity for that. By my calculations this guy deserves a raise and benefits for being the most honest person in the whole office. He knows that he's a habitual sender of dick pics. Whether it was sent to the HR manager before he was even on the clock, or it was sent to the hot blonde secretary 3 months into his employment. Someone else in that office was eventually going to see his cock, and the picture of that cock was eventually going to make it's way back to the HR manager. Might as well skip that whole step, and let the most offendable person in the office know what you're all about before you start wasting company hours. Now, there's a 100,000% chance that it gets you fired, but at least you don't have to live a lie. Sometimes the truth hurts HR lady, but if you're lucky it might only hurt for the first 30 seconds or so ::wink wink::.