Hey Jazz Nation, can we get a round of applause for Mrs. Kristine Jakins? I don't know if her decision to reach out Gordon Hayward with a couple dozen guilt trips from kids that are just barely young enough to still be able to tug on the heart strings with crappy handwriting and silly grammar mistakes will be able to keep him in Utah, but I'll be damned if I can think of a more convincing attempt. I suppose it's possible that this broad can't teach her way out of a paper bag, but if you aren't going to prioritize educating the youth of America then you might as well exploit their innocence for the long term benefit of a city and its sports teams. A lesser basketball fan might have been assigning poetry anthologies or some other such shit that was apparently so, sooo goddamn pointless that I can't even think of a second thing that was asked of me in middle school 'Language Arts', but not Mrs. Jakins. She pushed aside her lesson plans in favor her sports-driven agenda, and I think I speak on behalf of the entire Jazz faithful when I say that her choice to focus on NBA free agency instead of the furthering the English skills of 14 year olds was nothing short of commendable. Love, admiration, and loyalty may go a long way in the process of persuasion, but nothing plays to a guilty conscience quite like the begging and pleading of children.
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10/20/2021 12:30:24 pm
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