A High School Basketball Broadcaster In Indiana Resigned After Offering The Most Stick-In-The-Ass Analysis Of A Breakaway Dunk

Announcer brutally criticizes high school basketball player for late-game dunk. □‍♂️

He’s since resigned.

(□: @trent_loomis)pic.twitter.com/IgELros4d6

— theScore (@theScore) February 27, 2019

And that's what we call a blessing in disguise. I don't mean to paint that rant in too positive a light, because it undoubtedly came from the tightly repressed lips of someone who has non-ironically said "a lay-up counts for just as many points" more times than he can even remember. Still, we should all celebrate his resignation, no matter what preempted it, because that guy had unquestionably been broadcasting local high school basketball in rural Indiana for far longer than any one man should.

Without checking his resume, there's reason to believe that he's been the voice of Wells County since the 'Wells County Voice' finally succumbed to forming an online adaptation. Consider the period of time for which you'd have to have studied a rotating stable of teenage athletes to form a grim generalization of the school for which they play. Honestly, I'm not sure he resigned due to backlash as much as he went ahead and cashed out the harsh reality check that was hearing himself non-satirically say the words "typical Homestead attitude" about a bunch of kids who can't even buy cigarettes. 

That guy's hate for Homestead High runs so deep that he's either watched their players raise the roof (in an infuriatingly awkward fashion that's reserved for entirely white basketball teams in Middle America) for a decade plus, or he spent a combined year of his youth shoved deep into one of its lockers. There might be some middle ground I am missing, but what can I say? I learned from the best...broadcaster Wells County had to offer in jumping to conclusions and slanderously firing off broad strokes character assassinations.