A High School Went On Lockdown Because A Student Said "Gum", But A Slightly Less Intelligent Student Heard "Gun"

Source- Dear Lobo Parents,

This morning we received a report from a student that there was allegedly a weapon on campus.
After investigating the concern, it was determined that a student thought he heard the word “gun,” but in fact it was another student asking for some “gum.”

The safety of our students is always foremost on our list of priorities, so we take these concerns seriously. We continue to encourage students to report anything they see or hear that causes them concern. Fortunately, in this case, it was a misunderstanding and there was no threat to our school or need to conduct a lockdown.

Because we are conducting the PSAT, we were able to hold students in their extended class periods to investigate the concern with little to no disruption to their schedule.

Sincerely,
Michelle Chae
Principal, LHS


This is the kind of shit we have got to get out of our schools, and no, I don't mean guns. Okay fine, we should get guns out of our schools too, but for the sake of this story, we need to get students that don't understand context out of our schools. I'm telling you, it's the kids that can't figure out sentence structure that are the real dangers to our children's futures. Just running around inserting words where they don't belong. They aren't just below average students, they are rapists of the English language. They don't stand to gain anything from high school. Get those idiots out of our classrooms and into our fast food restaurants. 

I get it, "gum" kind of sounds like "gun". There could be some confusion there. However, that confusion is easily erased once you use the two words in a sentence. "Can I have a piece of gun?". "Do you have anymore gun?". "I got gun on my shoe." The only statement that really makes sense is "there's gun stuck to the bottom of this desk" and I am going to go out on a limb and say that's not how it was used. Basically what I am trying to say is that kids are ruining the lives of other kids, and it's not always by bringing a firearm to school. It's by slowing down the learning process by literally being too stupid for words. I don't blame the school that overreacted once someone said "gun", because it's better to be safe than sorry. I blame the moron that started running around like a chicken with it's head cut off without even saying "what?" first. A little "excuse me?" goes a long way. Especially when it could result in a school being locked down for a misunderstanding. 

P.S. The fact that this happened during the PSAT increases the likelihood of the word "gun" being used exponentially, but not enough for me to think this kid has a college degree in his future. Should have gotten booted from the pipeline after he drew a blue duck.