Yahoo- A man arrested for a drunk driving crash in New Jersey last weekend gave officers a bonkers excuse for his drunkenness and the accident that followed: the continuing suckage of the New York Jets.
Christopher Greyshock, a 57-year-old man from West Milford, New Jersey, was arrested after rear-ending a car and injuring two people on Sunday, a short time after the Jets had been soundly thwacked by the Buffalo Bills 41-10. The North Jersey Record reported that police were called to the scene of an accident that had taken place at 5:15 p.m., and two people were being treated by paramedics when they arrived. As officers approached Greyshock, Capt. Larry Martin told the Pascack Valley Daily Voice that Greyshock was “staggering and swaying,” nearly falling into traffic and unable to stand up straight. Greyshock also had liquid stains on his pants and officers could smell liquor on his breath, so they administered a field sobriety test. Unsurprisingly, Greyshock failed. After he failed the test, he gave the officers his reason for being so drunk. “I drank too much because the Jets suck!” --------- Yeah...no. As much as I can sympathize with the inevitable correlation between a pathetic point differential and the type of BAC that might break records on the breathalyzer, I'm going to have to call bullshit on the Jets' outright incompetence being a valid reason for even the most alcoholically invested of fan to hop behind the wheel. I'm pretty sure the Jets' have been almost unbearable without buckets of booze since before before the building of the first railroad, never mind the rise of Uber, so not having the foresight to place your game day travels in hands that won't soon be forced into double-fisting is almost more historically ignorant than it is criminally irresponsible. That being said, if ever there were such a thing as a sobering defeat (there's literally not), it would probably look pretty similar to career backup clipboard holder Matt Barkley taking the reigns of the worst offense in NFL history and backhand pimp-slapping a division rival with a 40 spot in the comfort of their own home. Biologically speaking, brutally bad football can't flush your system anywhere near as quickly as it can blow your buzz, but if - and only if - it could then the Bills would have had MetLife Stadium emptying itself out cleaner of body and blood than a goddamn AA meeting. The dumbass who put at risk the lives of innocent strangers because his perpetually shitty football team couldn't pass even the lowest standard of the smell test doesn't reserve the right to make jokes. However, he was absolutely correct about one thing...the New York Jets certainly are one.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Categories
All
Archives
January 2020
|