A Lingerie Football Brawl Started Over A Girl Chugging A Celebratory Beer And I'm Feeling Weird Feelings

I'm not going to lie to you, this is giving me the weirdest erection. I don't think I ever understood the term "fear boner" until right now. It's like my dick is simultaneously getting hard while trying to tuck it's way between my legs. On one hand, I'm a sucker for a girl that doesn't hesitate to throw back a few cold ones. On the other hand, I have never been with a girl that could break me in two. I want her to scoop me up and carry me back to her place to engage in a night of debauchery, but I am downright fearful that she'll callously roll over and be distant as soon as we are done. I don't mind being submissive, but I also don't want to wake up to an arm bar and be asked to make her a breakfast sandwich. There's just so many conflicting emotions going on inside of me that I can't even begin to imagine how the hell she got her hands on a beer mid-game, never mind walk around with it raised in the air for so long before drawing the ire of her opposition. All I know is that I want this girl on my team. I don't even know what position she plays, but I'm plugging her in at fullback and middle linebacker. You know, unless she doesn't want to. In that case she can just coach the team herself, because I'm not going to be the one to tell her no. Not when I can't even decide if I want to get hopped up on booze and have raunchy sex with her, or wave the white flag and cower in the corner. 
​