BSO- A 23-year-old Humboldt Park man was arrested and charged with robbery Sunday after his accomplice got scared and drove off in their get-away car, leaving the man to fend for himself as witnesses got involved.
Police were called to the 1900 block of W Cullom around 11:30PM after a resident heard a woman being mugged outside of his home.
Officers arrived within minutes and engaged a suspect in a brief foot pursuit through nearby alleys and yards before arresting him in the 4300 block of N Wolcott.
Kameron D. Alston is now charged with robbery.
Witnesses reported that a Nissan Rogue had been waiting for Alston to finish the robbery, but the female driver who cops believe was his girlfriend sped off when she realized that the crime had been discovered, leaving Alston to go it alone.
Sorry Kameron, I wish I could have your back on this one buddy, but this is your own damn fault. Hiring a woman to be your getaway driver is just about the dumbest thing you can do as a thief. No, not because women can't drive you sexist pigs. Okay fine, that's definitely part of it, but not the most egregious part if I do say so myself. You can't hire a woman, and more specifically your girlfriend, to be your getaway driver because females are fickle bitches. Not to be racist, but my man looks like a Chris Brown fan. How has he not learned that these hoes ain't loyal? You leave a woman alone with her own thoughts there is no telling what the outcome might be. Hell, when this guy was getting cuffed his girlfriend was probably already on her way to get him because she changed her mind again. That's what woman do. He probably should have figured that out when she couldn't decide between Mexican food or ice cream for dinner. He should have been privy to that indecisiveness when she was picking between a winter coast and a halter top for a night on the town. Women want sensitivity, but they are attracted to apathy. They want stability, but they are attracted to spontaneity. One second a woman thinks you're the greatest guy in the world, and the next second she thinks you ain't shit. Now granted, the latter is probably closer to the truth, but you don't want her to finally figure that out when you are halfway through the act of robbing someone and she's your only hope of getting away safely. There's just no positives of hiring a woman to do a man's job, and if you want to claim that comment is misogynistic then you would be arguing that women should be able to aide and abet criminals, and that's against the law ladies.
P.S. That guy's face is like the super, super high version of the face you give your girlfriend when she says "just five more minutes". Been there buddy, been there.