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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

A Navy Admiral Took A Belated Jab At Colin Kaepernick During His Pearl Harbor Anniversary Speech

12/8/2016

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“You can bet that the men and women we honor today and those who died that faithful morning 75 years ago never took a knee and never failed to stand whenever they heard our national anthem being played.” - Admiral Harry Harris


Gee Harry, how long you been sitting on that one, bud? Seriously though, this is a first class example of why the saying "timing is everything" isn't just the underlying plot line of every romantic comedy in the history of cinema. It's a phrase that has been proven factual through no shortage of empirical evidence, and it's never rung truer than when a man with the highest military rank in the U.S. Navy tried to use an outdated sports reference for an applause break in his tribute to the thousands of American lives tragically lost three quarters of a century to the day. Hey, the man may not be the most topical but if there's one thing you can say about Harry Harris it's that he took this speech very seriously, because it was pretty obviously written prior to Week 1 of the NFL season.

It's a real shame too, because that line would have absolutely killed if it was delivered three months ago. If the 75th anniversary of Pearl Harbor landed in September then that Colin Kaepernick jab would have brought the goddamn house down. The mic probably would have dropped itself with the amount of people hootin' and hollerin' in response to a timely zinger at the expense of quarterback kneeling in opposition of oppression. If you think about it, it's really Japan's fault that an Admiral was standing up there staring over a packed house waiting (what felt like 10 minutes) for his standing ovation. If they hadn't pussy-footed around bombing a United States Naval Base then the crowd honoring the victims of that bombing wouldn't have been stuck in that "wait, do we rise now?" no man's land like they were attending church for the first time in a decade. All's well that ends well I guess, but I would advise him to stick to more current events in the future, because even old white people get over news faster in 2016. 
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