A NJ High School Made 75 Students Take Piss Tests After A Beer Can Was Found On The Premises At A Football Game

NBC- Parents of students at a New Jersey high school were ordered to get their children’s blood and urine tested after a can of beer was discovered at a football game. 

The can of beer reportedly landed on the ground and was spotted by a school official during a game at Randolph High School on Friday night.​

It’s unclear if the can was thrown or fell, but it came from bleachers filled with students, according to a letter from Randolph Superintendent Jennifer Fano, who said some of the students appeared drunk and that several additional opened containers of alcohol were later discovered. 

After the can of beer was found, about 75 students who were in the bleachers were taken to classrooms as school officials contacted parents so they could pick them up. Each student was given a form — a rule-out test — requiring blood and urine samples.

Parents were given two hours to get to health facilities in Morristown, Dover and Denville so their children could be screened. The students faced suspension from school if they didn’t complete the screening. 

Superintendent Fano released a follow-up letter Wednesday, in which she apologized to the parents and kids who were inconvenienced by going to the emergency rooms for screenings. But she said she stands by the decision of staff to carry out the procedure at the game. 

Fano also said social media video later surfaced showing kids drinking at pregame parties, a video that has since been turned over to police. 

​"Teenage drug and alcohol abuse is a national epidemic and Randolph is certainly not exempt from the problem. I am hopeful that Friday’s events will serve as an important learning experience for all of us," she said in the letter. 

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Teenagers consuming alcohol at a football game on a Friday night? WHY, I NEVER!!!

But seriously though, at what point do you think school administrators realized that demanding 75 students get hauled off to nearby hospitals to pee in cups was a laughable overreaction to finding one beer can? Was it when they had the hallways looking like a 2nd grade fire drill, or when they kicked off to the deafening silence of the 6 people left in the stands?

I'm not letting the kids off the hook here. Any self respecting under-ager would have had their vodka in a water bottle and made sure it stayed out of the sight lines of their supervision. Still, stopping a game to disperse the entirety of the student section to medical centers like you were trying to find a Patient Zero for relatively harmless teenage binge drinking is easily overbearing enough to make the students look like the victims. 

Not only that, but are teachers aware that the 16 year olds of today are as familiar with substance abuse as the 21 year olds of 2002? Shit, at least beer can be measured in empty cans. Pretty sure the same can't be said for the goddamn heroine epidemic. Honestly, I only see two outcomes that result from this active quarantine of mildly buzzed brats. Either no student ever is coming to a Randolph football game every again, or they are showing up stoned out of their gourds. There's only one type of kid that watches the entirety of a high school football game they aren't participating in sober, and he views it from the sideline as part of the third string.

So, since the alternative is the use of recreational substances that can't be tracked via the trash, maybe a couple swigs out of a tainted 'Gatorade' isn't worthy of sending the entire student body to the ER for something that's more of a certainty than an emergency. Especially since the parents who were wildly inconvenienced probably considered it a blessing that all their kid did was steal from their liquor cabinet.