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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

A Reporter Questioned Cam Newton On His Decision To Wear Socks With Sandals, And Ruined It For Everyone

2/4/2016

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Reporter: "Why are you wearing socks with sandals?"

Cam: "Why are you wearing jeans with shoes?" #SB50 https://t.co/qd0raYDNSB

— NFL (@NFL) February 4, 2016
You see what you just did random guy from 'The Wall Street Journal' that doesn't even deserve to be mentioned by name in this blog? Socks with sandals was back for like 15 seconds until you just haaaaad to go and ask if socks and sandals were back. You know why Cam's response was so lame? Because he was flustered by the fact that he already has to remove the socks/sandals combo from his repertoire. Can't have a bunch of old white people -that undoubtedly think he dances too much because black people scare them- out there jocking his style. That guy said "why are you wearing socks with sandals?", but what he really meant was "my stupid fucking daughter has been making fun of me for that for YEARS!". 

Fucking nameless, faceless, personality-less, swagless 'Wall Street Journal' guy just had to swoop in with a fashion question and make everyone else feel awkward. I'm not saying he was wrong for thinking it, but he's definitely wrong for verbalizing it. I regret to inform the viewing audience, but I consider myself someone that's in the know, and I couldn't begin to explain one single outfit that an NBA player has worn in the last three years. We got top hats, blouses, capris, women's slippers. The whole league looks like it's playing dress up from Caitlyn Jenner's gender neutral closet. Still, you don't see me going around asking every eccentrically dressed black guy what's cool. That's not how being cool works. If you have to ask then you don't need to know. Hell, if you work for a newspaper named after a financial district then you don't need to know. Just let Cam Newton live, because even if socks and sandals are the new hotness, you will never be able to pull them off. 
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