A Russian Newspaper Is Encouraging Women To Be "Proud Of Their Bruises"

Independent- One of Russia’s most popular newspapers has told women to be “proud of their bruises”, as the country partially decriminalises domestic abuse. 

The article, published by Komsomolskaya Pravda, came ahead of Russian President Vladimir Putin signing into law a new measure that will see offenders face fewer penalties.

Yaroslav Korobatov, a columnist for the paper, said: “For years, women who have been smacked around by their husbands have found solace in the rather hypocritical proverb, ‘If he beats you, it means he loves you!’

“However, a new scientific study is giving women with irascible husbands new grounds to be proud of their bruises, insofar as women who are beaten, biologists confirm, have a valuable advantage: they’re more likely to give birth to boys!” 

In 2005 Mr Kanazawa published an article titled ‘Violent men have more sons’, and three years later another titled ‘Why do some battered women stay?’, in which he stated women “may have been selected to tolerate a certain level of nonlethal violence in their mates”.



​Hey, you can't argue with that logic. Well, unless you Iive in America or any other civilized country that values the basic human right to not getting your ass beaten. Still, it's a pretty nice attempt at turning the tables on Russian women who are probably pretty tired of wearing long sleeved turtlenecks to cover up the results of their husbands having one too many vodka and vodkas with a splash of vodka. Time to show some skin ladies, because bruises are officially in style! And why wouldn't they be? Nothing women love more than being empowered! If period blood can become a source of pride so who's to say that visual evidence of completely unnecessary violence can't be the feminine version of showing off a really bad ass scar? 

Sure, this "scientific study" is just a piss poor attempt at justifying the decriminalization of a blatantly heinous crime, but think of the inherent benefits! If more mommy's take pride in their ability to take a punch then more daddy's will get to become physically abusive role models for more sons. That sounds like a pretty shitty "best case scenario", but it could be worse - you could be trying to raise an at-risk daughter in a society that will eventually think of her as nothing more than a homemaking punching bag!