Deadspin- Adam Lindin Ljungkvist was in the middle of a match in which he’d already picked up a yellow card when, as he described it, a tummy ache caused him to rip off a nice big fart. The referee overheard the rumblings from below, and was so perturbed by them that he showed Ljungkvist a second yellow and sent him off.
“I asked the referee, ‘What, am I not allowed to break wind a little?’ ‘No,’ he replied … I don’t get it but maybe he thought I farted in my hand and threw the fart at him. But I did not. [...] I spoke to the referee afterwards, I was annoyed, but there were no bad words. I just said he was a buffoon.”
Opposition striker Kristoffer Linde told the paper: “I was standing a good distance away but I heard the fart loud and clear. It’s the strangest thing I’ve seen on a pitch, and I’ve been playing football since I was eight years old.”
Later asked by a local paper to explain himself, the referee, Dany Kako, described his thinking and pointed out that he has a history of punishing similar (in his perception) incidents strictly:
“I perceived it as deliberate provocation. He did it on purpose and it was inappropriate. Therefore, he received a yellow card. [...] Once there was a player who stood and peed next to the pitch. I showed him a yellow card, too.”
I want to be on the side of the farter in this situation. I really, really do. After all, it's absolutely ludicrous to give a guy a second yellow for letting one rip while exerting energy during athletic competition. That goes ten-fold when your only explanation for doing so is comparing it to a player pulling his dick out and giving the crowd a bird's eye view of what it might be like to be on the receiving end of his golden shower. Just absurd to believe that every bodily function is created equally, although I guess it is good to know that dropping a sideline heater is no more than a yellow card in this guy's eyes.
That said, I kind of agree with the referee busting out the red card and unceromoniously sending this guy back to the locker room. It's not the act of farting that I think is punishable, it's the idea that the fart in question was so loud, so powerful, and so distinguishable that an official was able to single out one man - out of 22 - on a 100 yard, open aired pitch. Sometimes you just got to let one go, but would it kill this guy to at least try to mask it a bit? Farting in and of itself is not worthy of any sort of discipline. Farting so obnoxiously that it makes someone who is intently watching the game stop and go "hey you, yes you, what the fuck man?" is a different story. That's a total disregard for others and I have no choice but to believe he intentionally threw a little hot sauce on his flatulence for good measure. When the origin of a fart is so easily detectable the person responsible needs to be publicly shamed. The only way to shame players - that have no qualms with claiming they fractured their fibula on a blade of grass - is to make them take the long, arduous walk back through the tunnel alone.