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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

A Woman Hit Her Husband In The Head With A Taco Bell Burrito So He Stabbed Her With A Fork

3/24/2016

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Sun Coast- A Crestview couple has been arrested after deputies say the woman hit her husband with a burrito before he retaliated by stabbing her hand with a fork.

The Okalossa County Sheriff's Office tells media outlets in a statement that deputies responded Tuesday to a home, where they found 51-year-old Suzanne Hurlvert with a fork protruding from her hand. It was so deeply embedded that hospital staff had to remove it.

Hurlvert told deputies that she and 66-year-old Carl Smith were arguing when she hit him in his head with her half-eaten Taco Bell Burrito Supreme. Hurlvert says Smith then stabbed her hand. Deputies found him at a bar.

Smith is charged with aggravated battery - domestic violence related. Hurlvert is charged with domestic violence related battery, second or subsequent offense. It's unclear if they have attorneys.


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It's mighty easy to blame the husband here, because - well - he didn't have a fork sticking out of his hand. Personally, I blame the connotation of the word "stab". You put stab in any headline and it sounds bad. "Well Groomed Male Stabs Himself In The Ear With Q-Tip". See? That sounds so much worse then "some dude cleaned his inner ear". Now granted we are talking about a fork embedded in skin and not the gentle touch of a Q-tip but the point remains, this story paints the male as the bad guy when that couldn't be further from the truth. 

Sure, he overreacted to having food thrown at him by literally sticking a fork in his wife, but let's not act like she didn't know what she was doing. She took a half eaten burrito out of that man's mouth. You just know he was sitting there waiting for her to get full so he could finish off the rest of her order. What was left of her Taco Bell was basically already his well before she whacked him upside the head with it. You see that guy's picture? You think you mess with the meal of a man who looks like that without suffering the consequences of your actions? I wouldn't take one of that guy's french fries is he was in the bathroom for an hour and half. That's just a hospital visit waiting to happen. The fact that his wife always over orders and is never able to finish her food is probably the only that got him to get down on one knee in the first place, and now she's going to take that away from him? If this guy was in the wrong then how come the deputies found him at the bar? You don't go to the bar when you do something illegal, you go to the bar when you realize your entire relationship has been based on a lie. 
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