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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

A Woman Suing Her 12 Year Old Nephew For Breaking Her Wrist With A Hug 4 Years Ago Is Too Ridiculous To Be Untrue

10/13/2015

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Metro-  A woman is suing her 12-year-old nephew after a hug broke her wrist.

Sean Tarala jumped into the arms of Jennifer Connell at his eight birthday party, causing her to fall over. On the rather subjective charge of ‘exuberance’, she is demanding $175,000 in damages, reports Westport News.

The 54-year-old HR manager claims that the then 50-pound boy, whose mother died last year, was acting unreasonably.

Ms Connell told the jury at the superior court: ‘All of a sudden he was there in the air, I had to catch him and we tumbled onto the ground.

‘I remember him shouting, “Auntie Jen I love you”, and there he was flying at me.’

On the impact of the injury, She said: ‘I live in Manhattan in a third-floor walk-up so it has been very difficult. And we all know how crowded it is in Manhattan.’

‘I was at a party recently, and it was difficult to hold my hors d’oeuvre plate.’

Sean is the only defendant in the case and sat in court accompanied by his father, Michael Tarala. His mother Lisa died last year.




Fucking in-laws, man. Can't live with them, and then once your wife dies and you finally get to live without them, they sue your 12 year old son because 4 years ago he gave them an aggressive hug. This is why you got to cut the cord on some family members. They try to use their status to take advantage of the fact that you're supposed to feel indebted to them through marriage. I say if your family is an anchor that is constantly dragging you down, either monetarily or otherwise, then you should be able to comfortably put them on the block list. Sure, you can choose your friends and not your family, but if either of them feel entitled to handouts then you should be able to choose to ignore their existence just the same. 

I'm not saying you should never help out your family financially, but most of time they are just asking for a little cash on the side to pay the bills. Not Jennifer Crowell. Nope, no fucking way. Six figures or bust. She can't take a chance that her brother in-law is still busy mourning the loss of his wife/her sister. She can't take a chance that he tells her to piss in the wind because he owes her nothing. Not with a request that ridiculous. She's got to take his son to court. How could she not? She knows that a 4 year old charge of "exuberance" requires the unpredictability that only our justice system could provide.

Maybe she gets nothing (and she did), or maybe she finds a loophole and gets 175,000 dollar reconstructed wrist. Either way she's the shitty sister-in-law, but as soon her sister passed away she was bound to get out-lawed anyway. Might as well take the chance. Those hor d'oeuvre's plates are going to carry themselves. How in the hell is a 54 year old woman in Manhattan supposed to live life to the fullest without the ability to carry a plate of cheese and crackers. Is a party without bite sized snacks being served to it's guests even a party at all? Why would we expect a human resources manager to be able to properly judge intent? Her occupation is to find the easy way out that is the most convenient for her and the "company" she keeps. Nothing fits that bill like sacrificing the unbridled love of her nephew for a nice payday.
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