Aaron Hernandez' Murder Mobile Is Allegedly Being Auctioned Off On eBay With A Signed Jersey

eBay- This is the REAL DEAL !!! Aaron Hernandez’ infamous silver Toyota 4-runner. As seen in the New York Times, we’re auctioning off this piece of Patriots football memorabilia. This Toyota was given to Hernandez to drive by Fox Toyota in East Providence Rhode Island, for guest appearances, and signings at the dealership, as he was rising to stardom as a tight-end tandem with Rob Gronkowski. This is the 4-runner Boston Police had been searching for in connection with a shooting outside a boston nightclub. The vehicle was found in Hernandez, uncles garage in Bristol Rhode Island, and brought to Boston Police departments impound yard, where it has been until last week. The Toyota is just the way it came from the impound yard, and still has the black soot on the map lights, and sunroof switch where the police dusted for finger prints !! The SUV has 53,000 miles on the odometer, and runs great !! The winner of the auction will also receive a framed jersey autographed, by Hernandez himself. Nows your chance to own this infamous piece of famous football memorabilia !!

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All due respect to those that prematurely left us by hook, crook, or bed sheet, but it is quite the time to be alive! Not only is a deceased psychopath's former means of transportation allegedly available on the open market, but there's 60(!) bids on it! I'm obviously skeptical as to whether or not that is actually Aaron Hernandez' car, but the truth of the matter is that this story is just as ridiculous regardless.

Consider this. Not only did a person - suspiciously named "Buddy" - believe a reliable SUV with manageable mileage would be more valuable if it was known to be an incriminating piece of evidence in a murder trial that returned a guilty verdict. Not only did he think that a framed jersey signed by a tight end turned homicidal maniac was a hell of a pot sweetener. But he's probably going to end up being right on both counts!

There's some crazy son of a bitch that currently has over $16,000 (and rapidly rising) invested in a goddamn murder mobile that I can't imagine they plan on using to get their kids to soccer. You damn sure aren't driving that thing around without being haunted by it's felonious past so - other than sticking a certificate of authenticity in the windshield and using it as a lawn ornament to scare away any and all neighbors/potential intruders - I can't think of one single use for that 4Runner. Hell, I doubt the people that didn't think twice before bidding can either. There are undoubtedly multiple suitors that saw the eerie soot on the interior of a decade old Toyota and thought "I don't know why, but I need to own this manslaughter machine". If that's not an indictment of society as a whole then the fact that someone's going to be let down by losing out on the opportunity to hang murderous memorabilia - complete with an elementary autograph - in their living room certainly is.