According To Some Random Unsubstantiated Report, Sean Payton To The Miami Dolphins Is A 'Ready Made' Deal

SliceMiami-  It appears Saints coach Sean Payton could be the move for the Miami Dolphins after the season from hell, judging from comments made by Bleacher Report’s Jason Cole when talking about how to sell this team going forward.

“You get a high-profile guy who has Bill Parcells connections, that everybody knows, has won Super Bowls in the past and you make a trade for Sean Payton,” Cole said on WQAM’s Big O Show on Tuesday. “This is a ready-made deal. There’s a very good chance of it. Now I think the preference would be to end up in Indianapolis with Andrew Luck but I think the tea leaves point towards him probably ending up in Miami more likely."

“I think he’ll be able to work with [Mike] Tannenbaum who was a Parcells disciple who’s probably gonna give you free reign to run the personnel side of it, run the organization the way you want to do it."

For Stephen Ross, Cole says “you’ve got a championship-level coach that people can get excited about. If anybody’s gonna turn Ryan Tannehill into a great quarterback, it’s gonna be Sean Payton.”



Hold on a second. Doesn't "ready made" imply that it's ready...to be made? As far as I can tell Sean Payton is still the Head Coach of the New Orleans Saints for AT LEAST five games. I have a ready made pizza in my fridge. If I really wanted to I could be eating it in about five minutes. If the small print on the back of the box said 'Cooking Time: 5 Weeks' I would have some choice words for the manufacturer. So, as good as 'ready made' sounds, it's simply untrue that Sean Payton is on the verge of being traded to the Miami Dolphins. Not because the distinct possibility of him leaving the Saints doesn't exist, but because we are basing this report on the current direction in which, potentially fictional, tea leaves are pointing. That source sounds less reliable than whatever ESPN message board Chris Broussard gets his 'Breaking News' from. Where exactly are these tea leaves? I want to have a little sit down with them before I lend credence to this completed fabricated story.
Shouldn't we be holding off on using the term 'deal' when referencing something that is 100% pure speculation, or does photoshopping a Dolphin on Sean Payton's polo just automatically make him their coach? Let me know now, because if a coaching search is on the horizon I will cut-and-copy enough Fleur-De-Lis on Belichick's hoodie to make the entire French Quarter think their homeless uncle made it Mardi Gras.

I think I have reached the point of no return, I no longer give a fuck if Sean Payton remains the Saints Head Coach. There have been far too many rumors, and not nearly enough wins for me to be heartbroken by his departure. I said it before and I will say it again, I will always appreciate what Sean Payton did for this franchise. 2006, 2009, and to a lesser extent 2011, will forever be etched in the memory bank of every New Orleans Saints fan. However, the truth of the matter is that a little piece of the Sean Payton of year's past died during 2012. BountyGate extinguished the fire burning in his belly. You'll still catch glimpses, from time to time, of the playcalling that turned New Orleans into a offensive juggernaut. Every now and then you'll see the undeniable connection between Drew Brees and his head coach. With that said, it's far less often than it used to be, and we are now going on two seasons of complete futility. That falls on the shoulders of the man at the helm, and with each passing week it seems that those shoulders are either sulking lower or being shrugged more often. Sean Payton may not be a bad football coach, but I have reason to believe, based on what Saints fans have seen on the field, that he is no longer a great football coach. If he wants to go to Miami, or Indianapolis, or anywhere else for that matter, then so be it. I would just warn them to be wary of buyer's remorse. The situation that the Saints are currently in, with a depleted defense and a stagnant offense, is in part due to his failures as the leader of this football team. I can't imagine having Ryan Tannehill run his offense, instead of Drew Brees, will do all that much to remedy what ever has been ailing him since his suspension.