According To This Colorado Avalanche Reporter, It's "I Think I Might Die" Cold In Winnipeg

The Colorado Avalanche broadcast is doing wonders for selling Winnipeg as a travel destination. pic.twitter.com/DBbf1ifj4a

— Alan (@sliiiiip) December 18, 2016

Can we get a round of applause for our boy Kyle Keefe? Not only did he - somewhat unnecessarily - brave the elements to give us an update on the weather conditions for a game that was being played inside, but he did a much more effective and efficient job of portraying those conditions than any half-assed weatherman or woman I have ever suspiciously took at their word. I know his damning, yet simplistic description of the climate was more of a product of his brain freezing, but that doesn't make it any less accurate. When you really think about it, there are only two very distinct types of cold. They are "chilly" and "I think I might die", and it's safe to say that -29 degrees falls not-so-safely in the latter. Shit, I think I might perish when the wind chill forces my testicles into my torso at +29 degrees. Someone needs to get that man a coffee that's Irish enough to drink Conor McGregor under the table and a goddamn Putlitzer Prize, because he basically made 'The Revenant' look like one weak-minded bitch's brush with a cool breeze by staving off death in the neverending fight for journalistic integrity. Oh, also...a hat. Definitely get him a hat.