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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

After Last Night There's Only One Last Process We Can Trust, And You're Not Going To Like What It Is...

11/9/2016

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Well America is tanking!!! All we can do is Trust The Process...

— Joel Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) November 9, 2016

Man, today is a really shitty day. I woke up to realize I drank one more beer than I probably should have last night. I woke up to pouring rain and gloomy skies. I woke up to a longer line than usual as Starbucks. I woke up and it's only fucking Wednesday. I think there was one more harsh reality that this morning presented me. Hmm, what was it....

Oh yeah! I woke up to remember that an ego-maniacal bigot who partakes in 6th grade antics, talks directly out of his colon, treats women in a way that would be considered inappropriate at 2AM in a frat house, and can't be held accountable enough not to go the most important 24 hours of his life without tweeting something insanely offensive is the leader of the free world. How could I forget!?!? 

Joel Embiid is obviously kidding here, but I truly have more faith in a strategy that got the person who instituted it fired than I have in the American people. It took two years for him to play a single meaningful basketball game and I have more trust in the process he's spearheading than I have in the collective brain power of the land of the free and the home of the increasingly intolerant. Let that sink in for a second. The chances that the Philadelphia 76ers - a team with approximately 6 centers in an era of basketball that is dominated by three point shooting - are a respectable franchise within the next 4 years is more likely than our current President making it that long without embroiling us in an international feud through social media.

I am infatuated with almost everything that Joel Embiid says and does, but - holy hell - I never wanted the day to come where he was further along in the rebuild than a nation that just went from the top of the standings to losing the "face of the franchise" and becoming a bottom feeder that's so miserably hopeless that it has to lean on an empty slogan that doesn't really make all that much sense anyway. "Trust The Process" is basically the equivalent of "Make America Great Again", but - sadly enough - I'm exponentially more likely to believe in the one that includes the nickname of an injury prone athlete playing sheltered minutes for a winless NBA team.
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