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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Against All Odds, The Guy That Ran On The Field In A Gorilla Suit And An 'All Lives Matter' Shirt Actually Made Me Laugh

10/3/2016

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A guy dressed as a gorilla wearing an "all lives matter" shirt just ran onto the field at the Bears game pic.twitter.com/QJLfuS1b1U

— Nik Gaur (@Gaur_Nik) October 2, 2016

I can't believe I am going to say this, but - if the motive behind this move is what I think it is - then I actually love this dude's decision to "pay homage" to Harambe by dressing up like the hipster version of him and slapping an innately moronic message on his shirt. That masked man represents so many insufferable "causes" that I have no choice but to think he is mocking every last one of them. Seriously, I would say that the only people worse than those that feel the need to get their 15 seconds of fame by running of the field are the people that STILL think a lonnnng dead gorilla is  a hilariously topical reference, but that wouldn't be giving the '(Insert Non-Marginalized Group Of People) Lives Matter' crowd their due. To be a member of every single one of those distinctly detestable subsects of the human race? I NEED to believe that's not possible just so I can retain what little hope I have left for humanity. I usually don't give people making a public spectacle of themselves the benefit of the doubt, but the orange beanie - that looks like it was taken straight off the head of a man patiently waiting for his organic smoothie in the streets of Brooklyn - has persuaded me that this was a sarcastic stunt that plays directly to my sense of humor.

And you know what? If I am wrong I would rather not know, because if that dude actually is an attention seeking loser that's a staunch supporter of the words on his shirt then - ironically enough - his life shouldn't matter and the world would be a better place if he had caught a bullet to the brain faster than the deceased primate he is "honoring". 
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