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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

All The Way Down To His Political Donations, Carmelo Anthony's Career Is Marred By Laughable Execution

4/19/2017

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Melo's listed occupation on his FEC disclosure form from Obama's 2012 campaign makes you wonder if he was playing out of position all along. pic.twitter.com/Xfr1OH1wOe

— Bryan Armen Graham (@BryanAGraham) April 18, 2017
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​Point guard? POINT GUARD!?! It's almost like Carmelo Anthony is trolling himself. It's as if he enjoys being made fun of so much that he's doing everything possible to provide us with retroactive, can't-miss punchlines. I don't know why this FEC disclosure is seeing the light of day nearly five years after the fact, but - with him choosing to identify at a position he is laughably unfit to play - it feels like it's on purpose.

We are talking about the basketball player who made an already dysfunctional franchise trade away their entire future instead of waiting a couple months and signing with them in free agency. The professional athlete who couldn't manage to cheat on his wife like damn near every other professional athlete without raw dogging a "dancer" and putting a baby in her belly. The oversized 3/undersized 4 that's never met a possession he couldn't dribble out apparently once fancied himself a ball distributor despite averaging under three assists per game. With the way his career has played out he could have put "circus clown" under occupation and it would have been nearly as accurate as "point guard".

Honestly, it's not the things that he does that are troubling, but his bird-brained execution of them that have all-but-executed his reputation/trade value. On the surface it's funny that Carmelo Anthony randomly filled out "point guard" on some 2012 electoral application, but it's troubling that - just like literally everything else he tries to do - it resulted in the general public getting a hearty laugh at his expense. 
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