America's Oldest Vet Is A 109 Year Old Man That Proves The Coolness Of Black People Is Timeless

Washington Post- How does America’s oldest veteran celebrate his 109th birthday? With cigars, burgers and milkshakes, of course.

World War II veteran and Austin resident Richard Overton celebrated at an outdoor party on Sunday, surrounded by neighbors, friends and local dignitaries who lit up cigars and wished him well, local mediareported.

The soon-to-be 109-year-old (his birthday is May 11) still tends to his lawn and drives his car, the Wall Street Journal reported. He’s also been known to drive widows to church.

The East Austin resident is a fan of cigars and whiskey, although he partakes of the latter only occasionally now.

He celebrates his birthday every year with a party in his yard. But this time, neighbor Helen Elliot organized a party at her home, which was sponsored by Mighty Fine Burgers, Fries and Shakes. The theme: Mighty Fine at 109.

“He’s just the coolest neighbor on the planet,” Elliot told Fox affiliate KTBC. “He’s so much fun and always has the best stories.”


​Goddamn, it's not fair being a white man in this country! Okay, well maybe that's a stretch. Seriously though, if you can just avoid police for the entirety of your life being a black man sounds like the coolest thing ever.  You know what the oldest white Veteran is doing right now? Probably eating through a straw. I bet he considers apple sauce an indulgence. He's just laying on his death bed awaiting the biannual visits from family members. Hasn't remembered a single person's name since the day he hit 100.

Not this guy. Fucking Richard Overton is damn near a decade over triple digits and he still has more swag than me currently. His 109th birthday was better than my last 3 combined. Burgers? Shakes?  How the fuck do I get an invite to this thing? If you are not living you are dying. By that logic Richard may still have plenty of years left. 109 years old and this dude can get more friends together for a cookout at the drop of a hat than I could with one month's notice. Of course this guy is the coolest neighbor on the planet. He sits outside all day smoking cigars and drinking whiskey. 109 years worth of stories? If I was this guy's neighbor I would be his best friend. Maybe he could toss me a widow or two in between driving them to church. Shit, maybe he could teach me how to dress, even though I could never pull off the pinstriped dress pants. I am tired of being held back by the color of my skin. I literally have a 0% chance of being anywhere cool as Richard Overton as soon as I hit 80. There's nothing interesting about old white men. Golf? Knee high white socks? Skin so pasty it is basically transparent? No fucking thanks. Pass me a Cohiba Richard, I need to to soak in this swagger while I can.

P.S. Fucking Dick.