SARAH! Step right up and claim your prize! Looks like today you are taking home a completely fictitious moral victory! I'd like to congratulate the other nominees. The people that thought dance moves were nothing more than thuggery? You guys put up a hell of a fight. The people that thought that Cam Newton can't be a good father or respectable human being unless he marries his baby's mother? Good job, good effort. At the end of the day all of your attempts were valiant, but we had to give the award to the woman that did her best to credit the Seattle Seahawks players and fans with saving the world. She was riding a horse far too high to go uncrowned.
I bet Cam Newton didn't realize that the '12th Man' isn't just a fanbase of a football team, but a group of morally upstanding citizens that spend every waking second that they aren't watching football curing cancer and housing the needy. Feel pretty stupid now, don't you Cam! If you had any integrity you would skip the NFC Championship to join Russell Wilson at the Seattle Children's Hospital. If were going by Sarah's standards then that's the only way you can win anyway. Don't you want to win Cam? Don't you care that there are families in Seattle that are facing hard times? Have you no shame? A professional football player focusing solely on enjoying a victory and not worrying about the potential trials and tribulations of a city 3,000 miles away? Doesn't get more classless than that. Maybe next time you can take a lesson from two of the most humble winners the sports world has ever had the pleasure of employing. I'm sure Richard Sherman and Doug Baldwin would be selfless enough to teach you sportsmanship and humility. Do you even know how disrespectful it is to throw a numbered banner - that represents some fraudulent connection to a team - on the field? Might as well wipe your ass with the American flag while your at it. If there's anything I learned today it's that your either a '12' or a fascist, and I think that means that Cam Newton has a 'dab' of Hitler in him.
P.S. I also learned that if you don't believe in God then the '12th Man' doesn't care about your illnesses or hardships. Sorry Atheists, heard the Carolina bandwagon is open for business...
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