NBC- Anheuser-Busch stopped production at its Georgia plant to help those affected by a deadly bout of historic flooding and storms in Texas and Oklahoma, NBC News reported. Instead of making beer, the brewery is producing 50,000 cans of emergency drinking water. The Cartersville brewery produces cans of emergency relief water a few times a year, Brewery Manager Rob Haas said, partnering with the American Red Cross to provide to places in need within the United States. "It's something we're uniquely positioned to do in a very timely period," he said.
What is this a sick joke? The most elaborate flood gag in history? It is well intentioned for sure, but since a majority of Texas is under like 60 feet of water I think I will take this moment to be their spokesperson. Hey Anheuser-Busch, The last thing flood victims want is shitty canned brewery water. I think they have seen just about all the water they are interested in seeing for awhile. You want to halt production? How about building a fucking ark instead. At least that will provide more than 10 seconds of semi-quenched thirst. There are people swimming in their upstairs bedrooms and you are going to give them canned tap water? Talk about a slap in the face. Quick question, what's the alcohol content of this water? How is this doing someone that's standing on their roof any good? You know what I would want during these desperate times? Do you know what Texans want during these desperate times? A good old fashioned domestic beer. A way to feel at least a little bit better. Aluminum flavored water does nothing to help people get over the fact that all their worldly possessions are now no better than pool toys.
I get it. This is a practical decision. A good public relations move. However, practicality goes out the window when your state becomes an ocean. If there is anything I know about Texas it's that they probably consume more beer than water anyway. Plus, water is the main ingredient in beer. It's the best of both worlds. Why don't you just continue production as usual and at least provide these people the buzz that they undoubtedly need. If you can survive a flood you can certainly survive a few days without low quality water, but can you survive a few days without getting drunk on mediocre quality booze? No situation has ever screamed "Damn, I need a beer" louder than being stuck in snake infested waters. I can promise you none of those people are dying for a water.