Any True Oklahoman Signs This Petition To Change The "City" Of Durant To The "City" Of Westbrook
Medium- Ladies and gentlemen, the great state of Oklahoma has been betrayed. As many of you know, Kevin Durant has left our state, torn out our hearts, and left our beloved Oklahoma City Thunder in depleted shape. All of this after even being offered a cabinet position for the State of Oklahoma. It is because of this heinous action that I believe the State of Oklahoma has a responsibility to change the name of the City of Durant to Westbrook, the man who is loyal, whom we believe in, and who will lead our team to glory. Yes, it is understood that the city Durant was not named after the evil Kevin Durant, but it is just another hideous reminder of what happened to our community.
I am usually against all frivolous petitions that are sure to go nowhere and stand absolutely no chance of reaching the right people or accomplishing the desired goal, but this? This is one I can get behind. If you're a true Oklahoman how can you not signup to change the name of some podunk town when it's current name is representative of the most prestigious athlete to ever spurn your state for - ironically enough - greener pastures? Priorities people! What's more important, honoring some random dude that died a century ago or shedding yourself of the stink of KD? I personally don't know, but I'm sure the 'Yelp!' reviews on Kevin Durant's (now former) restaurant can could give us a telling glimpse into which way the locals are leaning.
What's the downside anyway? Confusing the shit out of the 6 people per year that plug 'Durant, OK' into a GPS? Potentially having to alter the battered, nailed up signs of all 9 businesses and institutions within "city" limits? They could probably flip 'Durant Township' to 'Westbrook Township' in no more than 12 hours, and any passer-bys would be none the wiser. I'm sure there's more paperwork to it than that, but one would think that some unheard of municipality in Middle America can do an adequate job governing itself. So it's short sighted and sets a terrible precedence, who cares? You want people to respect you as a sports town then you got to live in the moment and do every petty thing possible to disparage the name of those athletes that caused your fanbase temporary pain by exercising their right to free agency. Even if it requires creating a sarcastic petition and circulating it on the internet. Not saying they are undeserving of their only professional team if they don't follow through on it, but I am saying I can think of sports-crazed region in the Pacific Northwest that would have no problem doing so...if you catch my drift.
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