AppleBee's And IHOP Taking Soda Off Their Kid's Menus Is Completely Disingenuous

Source-  Applebee's and IHOP have removed soft drinks from their children's menus.

​"While soft drinks are still available by request, we believe this is a small step in assisting parents when dining out, as parents are in the best position to determine the appropriate food and beverage choices for their children," said Tom Linafelt, spokesman for DineEquity, the holding company that owns both chains.

The move is the latest to trim back on soft drink consumption by children. Many school districts have pulled soda machines from school cafeterias and menus. In June McDonald's told the Associated Press that for the first time less than half of the children's Happy Meals it sold contained sodas, falling to 48% in the most recent period from 56% a year earlier.

The Centers for Disease Control reports that childhood obesity has more than doubled in children and more than quadrupled for adolescents in the last 30 years, and that roughly one in five in both age groups are now classified as obese.

Applebee's made the change in their menus in August; IHOP in November. Both chains serve Pepsi products. Pepsi did not respond to a request for comment.

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Do you know what I, personally, think is worse than not giving a shit about fat kids? Pretending to give a shit about fat kids. That is exactly what AppleBee's and IHOP are doing by taking soda off their kids menus. First of all, do they even understand how kids menus work? If you are young enough that you are ordering off a kid's menu then you aren't really ordering at all. Most likely you are just frantically scribbling your crayon all over the menu as your mom either reads you the options, or picks your favorite food out for you. I say this completely sincerely, if you are old enough to be looking for 'Pepsi' on the beverage portion of the kid's menu then you need to grow the fuck up and stop eating like a toddler. Maybe take off the Pamper's and eat like you know how to read you little brat.

"Look at IHOP and AppleBees, they care so my about the health of children that they took soda off the kid's menu. I mean, you can still order it for them, and probably will, because they'll start making a scene if you don't. Sure, every food item on the kid's menu still reads like a stoner's 3AM order at the diner, but it doesn't say 'Sierra Mist' anywhere on there. That's got to count for something, right?"

​WRONG. I award you ZERO brownie points and may God have mercy on your soul. I see right through your meaningless little publicity stunt. I've had enough with this besmirchment of soda. You know why fat kids are fat? Because they have terrible genetics (why are fat people procreating anyway?), or because their stupid parents keep taking them to IHOP and AppleBees. It's NOT because of what they order to drink when they are there. No, soda is not good for you, but it's also not grain alcohol, so maybe we can just keep letting 6 years old slam it down their gullet so that people like me don't have to hear them obnoxiously cry in public. I don't drink it, but I was housing a 6-pack a day during my formative years, and I turned out alright. Well, I'm kind of an asshole, but I'm pretty sure that's unrelated. If your kid wants soda then let him have a fucking soda, because regardless of what Tom Brady says, it's the triple layered chocolate cake that he's washing it down with that has him looking like Agustus Gloop. If parents are really depending on the empty gestures of chain restaurants to raise their children then those kids are probably better off with their long term health in doubt anyway. 

Live look at anyone that just read that last line...