TheState- Carolina Panthers coach Ron Rivera would have liked for safety Mike Adams to bat down New Orleans quarterback Drew Brees’ fourth-down pass in the final two minutes of the Saints’ 31-26 wild-card win.
Rivera also would have liked for the officials to review the play to make sure Adams actually intercepted it. Actually, Rivera said he “would have loved” for the NFL’s replay center to look at it. Later Monday, the NFL confirmed the the replay center had done so. Rivera said he told the side judge that officials should review it. “I said, ‘Hey, you guys need to take a look at that because I’m being told he dropped the ball.’ And he just said, ‘Well, we’ll see,’” Rivera said Monday. “And he actually did say something into his mic. I have no idea what he said. But I did bring it up. I got no information on that (play). ------- I know, I know. I'm not exactly an unbiased observer that is fluent in the art of refereeing football. Luckily for me, and Ron Rivera, I'm pretty sure that means I'm only a striped shirt and whistle away from being qualified to call games at the NFL level. At the very least, I have better command of 'forward progress' than Jeff Triplette so maybe his upcoming retirement is actually the opening I needed to get into the profession. With that said, let this explanation of late-game officiating to a losing head coach that's frantically searching for a scapegoat serve as my resume...
You see, Ron Rivera, the best way to force a 4th down incompletion is to instruct your players not to intercept it in the first place. I'm not here to declaratively state whether or not Panthers' safety Mike Adams completed the process of a catch. As even the most casual of fans know, trying to definitively do so is a fool's errand. So, when it's on behalf of a defensive team that is trying to overturn their own goddamn turnover, it's an errand that oft-scrutinized officials are less likely to run out of fear of - once again - looking foolish. While I suppose it would have been nice of the crew to save a team from its own lack of situational awareness, it's certainly shouldn't be their priority.
This might come as a surprise to Ron Rivera, but leaving a judgement call up to those that have - up until that point - granted you a 91 yard edge in penalty yards during a tightly contested road playoff game probably isn't the greatest idea. Maybe Cam Newton was out of the tackle box, maybe he wasn't. Either way it came down to a matter of inches, and those inches didn't change the fact that his attempt to make a play from the pocket literally got dragged into a desperate attempt to avoid a sack as soon as a loss of yardage appeared imminent. Devin Funchess couldn't have caught that ball with the most elongated of pool skimmers and Cam Newton damn well knew that as he "tried" to throw a 30 yard pass while falling backwards with a 290 pound All-Pro salivating on his chest. If Ron Rivera thinks that was in the "area of a receiver" then he might as well start getting directions from my un-licensed grandmother, because apparently he isn't too keen on time, space, or distance. Whether or not it was ever-so-slightly outside the imperfect box used to fit the description of 'intentional grounding', the officials stuck to the spirit of the rules in deciding that for just the second time all evening the Panthers - god forbid - actually broke them. Hopefully I cleared that up for the coach who was trying to defer blame by pleading for more video reviews when the rest of the football-loving world is sick of staring at the ass of a ref while he squints at a monitor and - more or less - tries to save teams from themselves by the centimeter.
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I know we are all expected to bow before the man that's basically created an NFL feeder program that's a shoe-in for at least 12 wins annually, but is it somehow possible that in coming back from 13 points down in the second half to win the National Championship with a freshman quarterback that he actually didn't show some god-like ability to tap into his endlessly athletic resources? In college sports, recruiting is to the war as the actual games are to the battles, so it's a credit to Nick Saban that he even had some teenage southpaw that was capable slinging all over the yard as an insurance policy, but to keep said kid on the bench as Jalen literally Hurts your title aspirations one play at a time? There's something to be said about Alabama wanting to go with the more experienced player as it's theoretically the less risky option for a team that typically using their superior talent to bludgeon teams to death on the ground. Still, that justification holds a hell of a lot less water when the guy you've entrusted to manage the game lacks quite a bit in the most fundamental skill necessary to lead a team downfield. Just look at this reasoning... “I just thought we had to throw the ball in the game, and I thought he could do it better,” Saban said in an interview with ESPN’s Tom Rinaldi. “And he did. He did a good job. He made some plays in the passing game.” (h/t LBS) In an era of football in which the forward pass has never been more important, the favored team shrunk their margin of error against a freshman quarterback by having theirs on the bench despite an admission that he was far superior at throwing. If that's a transcendent display of genius then I guess Nick Saban also deserves praise for putting his most elusive athletes at running back. In essence, going to the guy who you know to be capable of moving the ball through the air seems like a pretty easy decision when you're down two scores and the player ahead of him on the depth chart has accrued 21 yards in 30 minutes while having as many rushing attempts as completions on the year. Admittedly, it was ballsy for Nick Saban to toss a 19 year old to the Dawgs in front of over 70,000 people on college sports' biggest stage when he's strictly been used during garbage time all season, but not nearly as stubborn as it was to wait until he was on the brink of defeat in a goddamn championship game to give his best arm (his words, not mine) significant action against a viable opponent. By summoning a skill set that was too impressive not to standout in practice all year, Tua Tagovailoa bailed out Nick Saban. So while Alabama's head coach might be the best in the nation, excuse me if I am a little hesitant to pat him on the ass in this particular case. Instead, I'll leave that honor to the player whose unbelievable effort has people talking as if this win defines the legacy of a guy who acted out of depression and probably should have known that his backup was far better than his situationally stymied starter prior to 10PM on the last night of the season...
Luke Walton Jokingly Said He Took Lonzo Ball Out Of The Game Because LaVar Was Talking Shit1/8/2018
TheBigLead- If you couldn’t hear that, Walton said, “His dad was talking sh*t so I took him out early.”
Walton held it for a minute before saying, “I’m just kidding.” As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, LaVar Ball told ESPN that Walton had lost the team and the Lakers players didn’t want to play for him. Lonzo and others refuted that claim almost as soon as LaVar made it. ----- It's obviously crazy to run with that tongue-in-cheek comment as if weren't clearly in jest. Unfortunately for Lonzo Ball, it's even crazier to pretend that every marginally funny joke doesn't contain at least a hint of the truth. Consider this, the only thing that seems less likely than an NBA coach benching the #2 overall pick on an outright terrible team due to the bombastic barbs of his father is said father shutting the fuck up in regards to the treatment of his son's professional career. By no means do I think Luke Walton would fabricate a flu for his rookie point guard if the increasingly unfounded diaper-filler from the mouth of his dear old dad reached a fever pitch. However, and I can't believe I am going to say this, I could absolutely see a scenario in which the Lakers' coach subconsciously takes out his frustrations on the offspring of the person causing them. Despite his laughable record, I consider Luke Walton to have a pretty good basketball mind, but it's not like his would be the first to ever become infected by those incessantly questioning it. We're probably about two dozen public appraisals away from him having it up to here with someone who prides himself on going there. Still, the fact that there is a feasible - albeit highly, highly unlikely - scenario in which LaVar Ball provides verity to that one-liner and ever-so-slightly alters the usage of an NBA player as if he were the overbearing asshole screaming from the middle school bleachers of a 4th grade rec-league game is nothing short of insane.
Who is that man up their spewing impartial nonsense that takes into account the inherent oddities of college football's playing field, as well as the advantages and disadvantages of the particular universities that participate at its highest level? Even the most trained of eye would probably argue that it's Georgia's head coach Kirby Smart, but no SEC savant worth their salt in superiority would ever admit that it's at all logical for a measly Conference USA program to think of themselves as an equal to the best of the best below the Mason-Dixon. Someone get Paul Finebaum on the case, because we have an imposter on our hands and his sole purpose is empathizing with those pesky mid-majors that keep trying to make noise from up under the iron fist of playoff-bound Power 5's like a hissing cockroach that just won't die. Look, I'm not trying to say that UCF was better and/or more deserving of a spot in the playoff than Georgia or Alabama. I'm saying you're incredibly biased and stubborn if you can't see why they, themselves, might consider that to be so. An undefeated season that was capped off a victory over a an opponent that is - at worst - a half step below the two that will face off for an official title tonight? I think if you were a part of that then you too would be declaring the difficulty of your flawlessness without shame. I tip my hat to Kirby Smart for being one of the few people who is able to see both sides of the argument despite having a vested interest in erring on the side of his own success.
Happy retirement to you! Happy retirement to you! Happy retirement, Dear incompetent, overwhelmed, and outdated official! Happy retirement to you! From scorned fans and true, From old critics and new, May god have mercy on you, And Andy Reid too. How bold are you now!?! How bold are you now!?! You look like you drastically changed the result of a do-or-die game that you had no business calling! How bold are you now!?! Say what you want about the NFL's inability to hire people who are capable of consistently commandeering a product in which billions of dollars are invested, but don't say they don't know how to give those people one last hurrah! That "forward progress" call probably set the officiating profession back further than the sack-fumble would have set back its beneficiary, but at least Jeff Triplette can say that the stage was all his in what proved to be his swan song! All football fans outside Tennessee might vehemently disagree, but every long-time referee deserves one last chance to do what they do best. Which is quite obviously insert themselves into a violent, competitive matching of wills between over 100 superhuman athletes that are routinely risking their health for the result of a game that can become tainted with nothing more than an untimely blow into a whistle! Kansas City coaches, players, and fans will never, ever forget Jeff Triplette, and isn't the point of a retirement party to leave people with the false memory that the person it's in honor of was far more noteworthy than they actually were?
NOLA- After New Orleans Saints defensive end Cameron Jordan produced a sack in the third quarter of Sunday's playoff victory, he began shouting at the Carolina Panthers offensive line. Jordan wasn't upset about something that happened on the play. He was just relaying his thoughts about Panthers left tackle Matt Kalil's blocking skills.
"I was actually talking more to the other Kalil brother," Jordan said after the game. "I don't know his first name, Speedbump. Let's call him Speedbump McGee. That guy." The Saints beat the Panthers, 31-26, to advance to the divisional round of the playoffs, and after the game, the boisterous Jordan shared some comical remarks about both Kalil and Carolina quarterback Cam Newton. "You beat the Carolina Panthers three times in a year, I'm gonna have to send this guy a wine bottle," Jordan said of Newton, pointing to a bottle of wine in his locker. "I appreciate him for being that good ol' quarterback. I'm gonna send him a nice little bottle of Jordan wine. No, it's not mine, but I have been drinking it for years. So, I'm going to send him some sauce." Jordan and Newton have exchanged trash talk for years on the field, but this season, it extended into interviews. After the Week 3 game, Jordan made some jokes about Newton's fashion choices. Leading up to the Week 13 game, Newton remarked on Jordan's fashion and joked he could "send him some sauce." When a reported noted that Jordan's sauce comment was a callback to Newton's joke, Jordan said, "Petty, right? ------- As a general rule of thumb, I don't empathize with even the most defeated member of a division rival. Football is hard, so - en lieu of my deepest sympathies - I offer Matt Kalil the suggestion to wear a helmet and protect his neck from the most cutthroat of ruthless mockery. That being said, if I were to change my stance on postgame compassion, this would probably be the circumstance that would get me to do so. Like, if I felt feelings on behalf of players from a team with which I don't harbor an admittedly irrational emotional investment, this one might hurt. As if strategically being lined up opposite the spot he consistently manned in becoming a First Team All-Pro defensive lineman wasn't enough of a kick in the dick to the person with which he was being intentionally under-matched. As if getting put through the ringer - over-and-over again - by the guy that bullied his way to a sack before taking his talents to the other side of the line and all-but-sealing the victory with a double-team splitting swim move that would make Michael Phelps take a gulp mid-lap wasn't enough of an emasculation...
Just when you thought Matt Kalil couldn't feel any worse about his evening, he gets nicknamed after an inanimate lump of asphalt. 'Speedbump McGee', as he will be referred to going forward, got reduced to a road-wide obstacle by someone who plays the game like the athletic equivalent of a supped-up pickup whose suspension allows him to heed not the most immobile of obstructions. If I were capable of seeing the world through the eyes of someone that shares a side of the football with Cam Newton I might commiserate with the professional athlete that was granted less respect - both on and off the field - than a turnstile. Since I don't, the best I can do to muffle my laughter at Cam Jordan's "sauce" call back until the slow-witted target of the joke understands that his season ended with a punchline...
If you asked me to type out my emotional state in the wake of Reggie Bush's incitement of a 'Who Dat' chant that served as the green light to an evening of excitement, It likely would have read as if I were standing stark naked in the middle of a bomb cyclone while doing so. In a word, chills. If the sight of so many familiar faces, in conjunction with the remembrance of one that tragically could only be there in spirit, miraculously wasn't enough to move you then the resonation of 73,000 strong voicing their allegiance in bedrock-rumbling unison gave you no choice. The shaking of my hands through a computer screen is enough proof that I need to declare that you didn't even have to be in attendance to feel the love that New Orleans has for the Saints of past and present, and vice versa. I don't know that this year's rendition of the black & gold needed the spirit of a Super Bowl champion to be in the building, but I'll be damned if it didn't feel better knowing that it was. Reggie Bush paying homage to the late, great Will Smith while surrounded by a cluster of teammates that became eternal shortly thereafter a history defining pick-six was the cherry on top of what turned out to be another unforgettable Sunday. From the awe-inspiring and heartstring-tugging presence of Colston-to-Moore-to-Thomas-to-Henderson-to-McKenzie-to-Fujita-to-Stinchcomb-to-Shanle-to-Harper-to-Gay-to-the soul of #91- to the handful of others I'm forgetting, Reggie Bush didn't even need to take the field with a baseball bat to knock the pregame build-up straight out of the park. It remains to be seen what lies ahead for a young group that boosts an eerily reminiscent sense of kinship, but they certainly don't lack motivation after getting a first hand look at how quickly you become one with a city as passionate as New Orleans upon delivering them a title. Until further notice, the answer to "who dat!?!" shall remain "we", because 2009's finest showed how forever binding a winning locker room can be...
------- P.S. Reggie's opinion of Alvin Kamara, while both predictable and unenlightening, must make every Saints' fan giddy for a future that's already arrived...
I don't think there is a Saints fan out there that would tell you that they didn't comforted themselves with the narrative that, given his experience and accomplishments, their quarterback is the one that any objective person would most want taking postseason snaps for them in the NFC. I know that I, personally, swaddled myself in some ridiculous notion that Sean Payton had yet to open up his expensive array of fine chocolates to Drew Brees while limiting him to vanilla play calling all season. Of course that was just an absurd way to justify a third down conversation percentage that - confusingly contrary to a career-high completion percentage - was the lowest it's been in a decade. However, I'll be damned if the man whose prolonged greatness made it possible didn't deliver in proving that a false sense of security was bulletproof...
I don't know if the Carolina Panthers sold out to stop Ingram and Kamara in their tracks because they didn't totally buy a surefire HOFer's ability to run train by turning back the arm on his biological clock. Regardless, a throwback performance that featured a host of targets, a handful of vintage back shoulder gems, and an 80-yard dose of vengeance from Touchdown Teddy left them looking like they could probably use some investment advice. The red-zone defense will surely get a ton of attention, but those forced field goals would have been for naught without Drew Brees providing the best remedy for a struggling third down offense...an unstoppable early down offense. In the end, it was a questionable but - in my biased opinion - correct intentional grounding call that both solidified the more deserving Cam's case for Defensive Player Of The Year and, more importantly, allowed the Saints to bust the broom out on their division rivals. The final minutes were about as excruciating as a black market colonoscopy, but - if the celebration is any indication - the Saints locker room is currently looser than Sam Bradford's sleeves...
Their defense is going to have to tighten up between the 20's, their two-headed monster is going to have to carb up, Michael Thomas is going to have to find a way to treat Xavier Rhodes the same way he's treated almost every other corner he's faced in his young career, and the offensive line is going to have to withstand the probable absence of Andrus Peat if they hope to pull off an upset in Minnesota. That said, due to Sean Payton's aggressiveness, his trust in both sides of the ball, the team's genuine and undeniable love for one another, and a bunch of other reasons that are mostly intangible, this Saints' roster has the feel of one that has what it takes to exact revenge for what was a brutal season opener. If nothing else, yesterday gave me no reason to doubt their versatility on offense and their timeliness on defense, and they are going to need every bit of it heading into one of the few environments that's as hostile as their own. If The Saints Don't Rock The Dome Today It Won't Be Because They Didn't Get The Band Back Together1/7/2018
I'm not going to lie, this playoff appearance is starting to feel like it could turn into something special for the Saints. Admittedly, that subjective and entirely emotional opinion is at least somewhat buoyed by the fact that every playoff appearance that follows a depressing three year lay-off feels special. It's probably also a product of looking up and down a roster that - even more so than that of the one that brought them the Super Bowl - has the most prototypical build for postseason success that New Orleans has ever seen. However, it's the idea that a significant chunk of that championship team will be supporting from the sidelines that has exacerbated that enthusiasm and has my optimism trending dangerously high. All other influences aside, I truly think the Saints are a far better and more versatile team than the division rival that's already looked helpless against them twice this year. I don't see how the long-belated appearance of some additional inspiration and the backing of a crowd that will be high off the most heavy-handed dose of nostalgia does anything but widens the gap that looks to exist between the Saints and Panthers. There is going to be too many unforgettable memories in that building not to create new ones, so forgive my overconfidence in believing that Reggie Bush, Marques Colston, Lance Moore, Roman Harper, and the rest of the attending Who Dat family are in for a hell of a DomeComing. By Tossing His Silver Medal In The Stands, Sweden's Lias Andersson Bunched No Shortage Of Panties1/6/2018
By god, the horror! A pissed off teenager disrespecting the holier-than-thou sanctity of international sports by getting rid of a medal that symbolizes that time he came oh-so-close to winning an amateur tournament? A highly competitive player letting his disappointment get the best of him following a disheartening result in a showcase that, with it's increased popularity, has become thought of as far more significant than it actually is? How dare Sweden's captain disparage the honor of a circular piece of silver he backed into by giving it to someone that would undoubtedly give it a better home than the dark and dusty bottom of an unused desk drawer! He'll definitely live to regret that when he's potting goals for the New York Rangers as soon as next year! By not forcing a smile through the presentation of something that he has as much use for as the ugly, ill-fitting sweater his grandmother got him for Christmas, Lias Andersson display of ungratefulness shattered the feelings of no shortage of disgruntled viewers who have never in their lives let their emotions dictate their (offline) actions. For that, he absolutely must feel the wrath of every sheriff of sportsmanship with a Twitter account! Well, either that, or the people sitting at home stewing that a heartbroken 19 year old isn't class personified need to have a little looksy in the mirror. Maybe do a little self reflection and realize they've never received a token of their failure and been expected to stand their appreciative while those responsible for that defeat get lauded for their success. It's not like the kid refused to shake hands. All he did was peel back the curtain for overly sensitive fans that - for some reason - thought players whose futures mostly reside in the NHL give a lick of a shit about a runner-up medallion in World Juniors. If you consider Lias Andersson to be a sore loser then you probably make a fair point. However, to be such he would have had to have cared deeply about winning in the first place and I'd rather see that out of an athlete of any age than any sort of satisfaction with second place.
NOLA- New Orleans Saints defensive end Cameron Jordan is finally receiving some of the recognition he deserved.
The Associated Press announced its 2017 All-Pro teams on Friday, and Jordan made the first team, earning the honor for the first time in his seven-year career. Jordan is the first Saints player to receive this honor since tight end Jimmy Graham in 2013. Jordan finished the year with career highs in sacks (13) and passes defensed (11). He also had 62 tackles, 17 for loss, two forced fumbles, an interception and scored the first touchdown of his career. His performance should make him one of the top candidates for Defensive Player of the Year. ---------- I don't know if there's all that many things that more impressive than being named one of the two most dominant defensive ends in the NFL during era in which a premium has been put on pass rushing. However, if I were to add a late entry into the polling, I would say that humbly grinning and bearing it year-after-year-after-year while similarly sensational efforts were statistically castrated by the incompetence of almost everyone else around him would give it a run for its money. I couldn't be happier that Cameron Jordan is finally getting acknowledged for his ability to excel in every facet of defensive line play, but it shouldn't be forgotten that it took defenses that were increasingly and historically horrific to overshadow the work of a player whose top-notch talent didn't suddenly come out of nowhere. He's too much of a leader to ever say so, so I'll do it for him - playing for the New Orleans Saints has been a burden on a guy whose undying optimism would never let you believe that were so. He'd tell you his play has reached another level this season, and - while he's probably right - there were circumstances outside of his control that might as well have been handcuffing him down as criminally underrated. Shit, if we are going by passes defended then you can make the argument that a 290 pound defensive end was also the Saint's best cornerback prior to this offseason. Need an idea of destitute the defense around him was? If the video for 'Ironic' was three years long and the premise was that she was driving the world's most versatile car but it was forever stuck in reverse, Cam Jordan might as well have taken the wheel from Alanis Morissette. I'd imagine it has something to do with the fact that adding a little bit of talent around him has shined a brighter light on the endless array of abilities possessed by a legitimate Defensive Player Of The Year candidate (my guess would be runner-up to Aaron Donald), but - unlike the quarterbacks he's consistently frustrating - Cam Jordan's ear-to-ear grin is looking a little less forced these days. Simply put, after being sucked into a 7-9 wormhole, there's no one that deserves to take the postseason stage as an All-Pro more than the guy whose always excelled at all aspects of being a pro.
We were all wondering it. With the passing of year after year of 'Grumors', there was no telling what would kind of job opening would get the man who is now most famous for broadcasting endless praise upon even most depressing of football games back in a role in which he'd have to be about 100,000x more critical. Turns out, the reason it took so long to find the perfect situation is because that situation was actually just a professional franchise who was willing to voluntarily cripple themselves for the foreseeable future because of the flare that will inevitably come with a deal that is nothing short of dramatic. Don't get me wrong, I love Jon Gruden and I bow before him for using his personality, someone else's Super Bowl-worthy roster, and the type of absence that makes the heart grow dumber to make everyone forget that he went 45-51 after his first year in Tampa Bay. Still, one hundred million over ten years for a guy who hasn't coached in nearly a decade? I don't even think Jon Gruden truly wants the gig he potentially just dedicated the rest of his 50's and half of his 60's to. I think he was probably just sitting on his couch getting aroused by Josh Rosen highlights, got his 10th call of the offseason, haphazardly threw out a couple outlandish numbers, and didn't realize whose son he was talking to. This sounds very much like an "offer he can't refuse" situation, and I'm pretty sure it will inevitably have someone's head on a silver-and-black platter sooner or way, way later. A historically sizable gamble from a team that's on the verge of moving to Las Vegas is quite fitting, but that storyline is better in theory than mortgaging your future for a .500 head coach from yesteryear is in execution. Oh well. This laughably over-budgeted sequel should prove entertaining, and that's more than can be said about any Oakland Raiders' employee not named Marshawn Lynch this past season. At the very least, Jon Gruden will now get a dollar for each scathing critique he's been internalizing over the last 9 years, so lets hope he finds himself around all the hot mics. Alvin Kamara's First Order Of Business After Receiving His Signing Bonus? Getting Some MF'n Wings.1/5/2018
First of all, every football fan should read that article. I'm obviously a supporter of the Saints so you should probably be skeptical about the following disclaimer, but - bias entirely aside - it's almost impossible to find anything even slightly less than lovable about Alvin Kamara after doing so. I mean, I too have an affinity for some motherfuckin' wings, but I'd be hard pressed to say they'd be my first priority after coming upon a significant sum of money that semantically sounds like it should be blown on something superficial. Meanwhile, the 3rd round pick who was finally garnering the interest that somehow eluded him all throughout a tumultuous college career decided to collect some while gorging on a purchase so fundamental to life that it can be picked straight from the bone. It's tough to think about anything else when you're hungry, but the fact that I picture myself licking my fingers from the reclined seat of a brand new sports car is proof positive that Alvin Kamara is a more down-to-earth man than myself. And honestly, he absolutely shouldn't be. Considering his range of skills, his undeniable swag, and the quickness with which he happened upon superstardom, it's a bit of an anomaly that he's remained so selfless, modest, and appreciative. Those characteristics have obviously allowed him to form the type of bond necessary to make up half of one of the most dynamic running back duos in NFL history, but they aren't characteristics that are commonly seen in a player of his ilk. Perhaps humble beginnings and the uncertainty that comes with bouncing around from school to school kept him grounded, but look no further than his decision to take his most impressive mode of transportation - his own feet - in satisfying the most low-cost of cravings for proof that he's literally taken every aspect of his astronomic rise in stride. In a city that wholly embraces the eccentric, Alvin Kamara is a 22 year old man of the people, and it has endeared him to its people in a way that isn't dependent on what has seemingly become a weekly (if not bi-weekly) visit to the endzone. It's ironic that his first foray into celebratory spending was getting his hands on some lemon peppers, because - without even one single postseason performance under his belt - he'll probably never have to pay for them in New Orleans again. Sami Vatanen Led The Charge In Helping The Devils End Their Losing Streak...By Beating Themselves1/5/2018 Oddly enough, as Sami Vatanen all-but-wiped his ass with the final page of his Defense 4 Dummiez book by blasting a slap shot directly into an oncoming opponent as the last man back, I couldn't help but feel a new found sense of closeness to him. Sure, it resulted in a half-assed hustle that was only helpful in giving him the closest of looks at the third - and eventual game winning - goal he was responsible for, but it instilled in me the comfortability to casually curse his name like I had been doing it for years. Maybe my prolonged bachelorhood has me prone to believing in the saying "if you can't handle someone at their worst, you don't deserve them at their best", or maybe the last few years of defenseless Devils' hockey have turned a well deserved run through the ringer into an initiation process of sorts. Whatever the case may be, reading through overreactive tweets that were one step away from suggesting that Peter Harrold got reconstructive surgery and changed his name to Sami Vatanen was what it took to finally smooth the edges on his fit in New Jersey. This might be a bit belated, but welcome home Sami! Belittling you so much as a player that you begin to wonder if we truly think of you as a person is how we show love 'round these parts, and I'll be damned if the last two games haven't given us a reason to pour our hearts out. On the bright side, if accountability truly is the guiding principle of the Devils' turnaround then I guess we can all stop bitching about getting Damon Severson back in the lineup! With Andy Greene somehow mistaking a Russian ogre in an emerald green jersey as a member of his own team and Sami Vatanen using his time (after time) in the penalty box to plot new and creative ways to sabotage his way into the suite life, there's now almost too many openings on the blue line! I personally would have preferred the defense march into John Hynes' office one-by-one and lay their jerseys on his desk - a la Rudy - if they cared that much about Damon Severson playing, but them looking as though they chose to throw the goddamn game on his behalf is exactly why they tell you to be careful what you wish for. In all seriousness, the game last night was a reminder that the Devils' margin for error falls somewhere short of the mistakes that you'd expect from a nervous 9 year old with a full bladder. You can probably say the same for every team in the league, but when they start turning the puck over in high danger areas on plays that are obnoxiously avoidable they are going to lose almost every time. Luckily that's an issue that's only popped up sporadically (most notably, the weekend from hell against the Blue Jackets and Rangers), but - with the officiating sneaking in the backdoor and stealing points as of late - the last thing they can afford to do is go doorstep-to-doorstep giving them away. As we come up on the midway point go the season, I'm still not sure we know exactly how good this Devils' team is/can be, but they have definitely proven they are better than an effort that saw that them actively piss away a great first period. According To His Twitter, Damon Severson Thinks Damon Severson Is The Devils' Best Defenseman1/4/2018
At some point over the last two months, my blanket response to every one of John Hynes' personnel decisions became "fuck it, he's obviously smarter than me". Underlying numbers can't explain how many things have gone right this season, so as long as he keeps up the shooting percentage I am willing to keep giving the Devils' head coach the pass. Now, if I were calling the shots then I wouldn't continue to scratch Damon Severson on the heels of three straight losses. All in all, he probably is the best Devils' best defender, and Ray Shero would have to somehow highjack the entirety of the Nashville Predators blue line for him to be considered any worse than 6th. Unfortunately, the ass I talk out doesn't seem to have a horseshoe stuck up it, so - until further notice - I agree with the guy who could seemingly swing blind and still hit .950. John Hynes has poked and prodded all the right members (including the one in question) of this young, overachieving team at all the right times thus far, so who am I to question the method to what appears to be madness? More importantly - much like they have all season - this scratching looks like it's having the desired effect. If there's one reoccurring issue with Damon Severson then it's his wavering confidence, and there's nothing meek or timid about publicly and self-assuredly endorsing complimentary pieces about yourself on Twitter. If the title he seemed to approve of is any indication then he doesn't currently lack belief in himself. I don't know what more John Hynes wants out of the 23 year old, two-way defenseman that's in the infancy of his long-term deal, but - with how well he bounced back following his first benching - it stands to reason that he'll probably get it from him once he's back in the lineup. Anecdotally speaking, Damon Severson has been a very good player when given something to prove, so I'd be willing to bet he'll return ready to back up the statistical evidence that he's been indignantly browsing through online. At least let's hope that's the case, for the sake of the coach whose earned enough benefit of the doubt to temporarily favor Steve Santini and Ben Lovejoy.
Perhaps I just can't relate to an 18 year old having 25 points while helping to lead a potential playoff team not even halfway through his first year in the NHL since I had only eclipsed that total in pounds of cheap booze and finger foods halfway through my first year in college at that age. Maybe I'm just not used to seeing a young phenom in a Devils' jersey since Lou Lamoriello spent the later years of his tenure in New Jersey drafting players who played like they were born in the 80's and signing free agents who were successful for the franchise in the 90's. Whatever the case may be, in doing nothing more than pulling within 24 full months of being able to drink legally, Nico Hischier has me struggling to wrap my head around how hockey-wise he is beyond his years. It's not that I had forgot how young he was, but something about how appropriate he looks with a soccer-themed cake in his hands really drives home the idea that the Devils lucked into finding Taylor Hall a complimentary center in the form of someone that wouldn't look too out of place in a ball pit. In fact, if i weren't a Devils' fan I would actually find it scary to think about how much growing he still has to do into a body that's fit for a middle school distance runner. The way he sees and plays every aspect of the sport at a professional level while being better built to do so on an XBox is nothing short of astoundingly perplexing, and - for that reason - his maturation process looks to have a direct correlation with the trajectory of the New Jersey Devils future. His game already has less holes than the 3-ring binder you'd expect him to be carrying, so - other than a couple pounds of muscle and a bushel of pubic hair - I can't even really think of what else he'd want for his birthday. He's still at the age for presents, but what do you get someone who already has all the gifts?!?
I'd be lying if I said I was appalled by an official - who had very clearly just missed an obvious call in a game defining situation - turning his back on a player who remained ridiculously even-keeled in trying to discuss what took place. The visual of an authoritative figure defiantly staring off into the corner with his arms crossed as if his mother just told him there would be no dessert until his vegetables were finished is simply too funny for me to find myself upset. Admittedly, it's ludicrously childish to do so, but hey...isn't everything the NCAA promotes aimed at convincing us that their billion dollar business model is actually nothing more than amateurism? As far as I am concerned, that inexcusable display of immaturity from a person who is paid to make sure young athletes mind their manners actually falls perfectly in line with the absurdity of the idea that there is nothing professional about college sports! In all seriousness though, it's not the idea of a referee "showing up" a participant that I find stupid, but rather the inevitable overreaction that would almost assuredly come if the roles were reversed. I don't watch enough college hoops to feel wholly educated on the past of Ted Valentine, but I have no problem assuming he's got a quick trigger in delivering technicals to any player who so much as waves a condescending hand in his direction. You want to make a joke out of your job then so be it, but you can't simultaneously be the type that becomes unnerved when you are on the opposite end of one. I like my sports with a little instigative mockery, but not when the source is an overly excitable arbiter with a superiority complex. “This is getting to be a little bit ridiculous. UCF — as I’ve mentioned — deserves credit. They beat a couple of decent teams along the way. They beat Auburn, which didn’t really want to be there … but to demean the College Football Championship that’s going on in Atlanta between two teams that earned it, that deserve is quite frankly laughable. I’m really in shock that Danny White would go on a national radio show and try to legitimize this school winning a national championship.” - Paul Finebaum ------ I know that old, crotchety white men with an agenda and an overwhelming affinity for the South are prone to being hypocritical. Since Paul Finebaum is paid handsomely to fill that very role in ESPN's college football coverage, it makes total sense that he would put his foot down in trying to stomp out the notion that one of his beloved SEC title contenders is not the best team in the country. As a stereotypical rule of thumb, people with horseshoe haircuts aren't the type to follow a storyline simply because it's entertaining, so bringing his iron fist down on the fairytale season of a team that rode the defensive efforts of a one-handed star linebacker in going from winless to undefeated in no more than two years was basically a forgone conclusion. However, it should absolutely be acknowledged that it was a foregone conclusion that was reached by way of the same type of convenient narrative pushing that UCF has adopted in taking it upon themselves to crown themselves. The transitive property has no place in sports, so while beating the only team that beat Georgia and Alabama is both ironic and fitting, claiming that it makes the cream of the Conference USA crop superior to the entirety of the SEC's finest is flat out stupid. Unfortunately for Paul Finebaum, it's pretty damn logical in comparison to declaratively stating that the other team didn't want to be there when Central Florida notched their most impressive victory of the season. Shaming the AD of a non-Power 5 program for intentionally going overboard in celebrating his team's flawless season? Not anywhere near as delusional as implying that a proud, accomplished program basically rolled over in a postseason game like they were playing their 5 year old cousin in Connect 4. I, for one, am glad that UCF is raising a banner and planning a parade to make the most out of their obnoxiously unofficial National Championship, because the only people that are embarrassing themselves are those delegitimizing what they accomplished because it's sacrilegious to the broken system they worship. I know that some people treat college football like it's a religion, but there is nothing holy about the war against Central Florida's fun.
Find your edge. I know at least one person took it too heart when Switzerland's coach went on a pregame diatribe that essentially explained why he needed Jesus to keep it mildly respectable between two teams with a talent disparity that you truly did have to hear to believe...
...and it was Switzerland's backup goaltender. You don't exactly have to be a NHL draft aficionado to hear the roster makeup of the two teams, and come to the conclusion that the underdog stood about as good of a chance of physically intimidating their opponent as they did of using sorcery to summon the skill of Nico Hischier in hopes of recreating 'Miracle', so intermission hijinks were definitely the play here. Now, with the score already being 3-0, Matteo Ritz would have had to literally hypnotize Carter Hart into thinking the fastest way to a World Juniors championship was to open up a tunnel between his legs for his mind games to get a tangible return on the scoreboard. However, if you're going to lose anyway then making your far more talented opponent look like a mental midget for appearing desperate and dependent while also treating a zamboni driver like someone that's trying to take the parking spot you just pulled into during holiday shopping. If nothing else, Canada's keeper was the one that looks psychologically fragile here, and that's saying a lot considering he was currently beating the brakes off a team whose head coach preemptively guaranteed defeat.
Classic Steelers. When the postseason is within sniffing distance and it's time to buckle down and focus on football there's only one franchise that always finds a way to make all the wrong headlines, and apparently they play around the corner from a bar named Tequila Cowboy. This particular time it was their offensive coordinator finding himself on the ass end of the type of New Year's Eve pushing match that you'd expect to encounter while binge drinking amongst the young, dumb masses at an establishment that almost certainly features a mechanical bull. However, this display of suspect decision making was in no way a one-off for Mike Tomlin and the boys. Just throughout the last few years we have seen Antonio Brown candidly snapchat his head coach's rah-rah speech from the locker room straight to the bulletin board of the conference rival that they can never seem to beat. We have seen an organizational legend in Joey Porter threaten a bouncer after a playoff win. I can't remember if we've seen Ben Roethlisberger engage in idiotic behavior off-the-field come playoff time, but if we were playing the odds then you know damn well where you'd put your money. I obviously wasn't there to see what transpired and I certainly don't want to make it sound like the football coach was in the wrong for going out with his wife and enjoying a holiday on the first night of a bye week, but Tequila Cowboy? Really? That sounds like the type of place made famous by their ability to spark conversations that end in drunk pizza and flaccid disappointment hours later on a nearby futon. Todd Haley is 50 fucking years old. You ain't gotta go home, but if a shove or two leaves your old ass on the ground holding your hip? Man, you gotta get the fuck out of crowded bars that use gimmicky Wild, Wild West rides to draw clientele. I cant imagine it will effect his ability to call plays, but probably don't want to be worrying about how much walking hurts when you have a Super Bowl run to concern yourself with. |
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