I know I am a little late on this, but I was on vacation and finishing my 35th beer was more important than blogging about the 35th dick Rihanna has taken this year. Even if said magic stick does happen to belong my boy Matt Barnes. Anyway, it would be negligent for me to not drape my arm over Barnes shoulder as I stand squarely in his corner. If there is anything I know about Matt Barnes it's that he speaks his mind. That, for better or worse, he says what he thinks. You can say that Barnes acts tougher than he actually is on the basketball court, but don't you dare say that he is full of shit. Especially if all that he is implying is that he had relations or was on the verge of relations with a sexually progressive, to say the least, woman that has an affinity for professional athletes. What I am supposed to believe that Matt Barnes is lying about conquering Rihanna when so many athletes before have already done so? Hell, if Kris Humphries can wife up Kim Kardashian then Matt Barnes can absolutely stick it to Rihanna once or twice. Remember who we are talking about. We are talking about a tatted up, shit stirring asshole. He couldn't possibly be anymore up Rihanna's alley, pun intended. Hell, if he averaged like 15 more points and 3 more assists a game we would be talking about the new school Bonnie and Clyde. Rihanna wouldn't be throwing shade at Matt Barnes or trying to emasculate him with a bunch of hashtags. She would be half naked grinding all over his dick on the cover of every national publication in the country.
This is based on absolutely no sources or any definitive knowledge of my own, but here is what happened. Matt Barnes and Rihanna have been hanging out. Probably fucked a couple of times. She told him to keep it on the hush, because she doesn't want word getting out that's she's banging a backup. He obviously spoke out of turn because he's a backup that happens to be excited about sticking it to the baddest bitch in entertainment. So she's doing what any self respecting popular girl would do in any high school movie ever. She's denying hooking up with a guy that's far less popular than her, because she knows people won't believe that she's getting dick downed by a journeyman shooting guard anyway. It's a story as old as cinema. She may be embarrassed to be seen in public with Matt Barnes, but she's not embarrassed of how good he is blowing that back out behind closed doors. Is it possible that Barnes exaggerated by saying "it's a little past a crush"? Sure, but that's nowhere near the exaggeration of Rihanna saying she's never even met him. That's such an unrealistic lie that it throws every single of Rihanna's claims into question. It's okay Riri, you and I both know what's going on. Matt Barnes dick has the power, but not the prestige, and at this point in your career you think it could hurt your reputation. That's understandable and everything, but it's not believable.